irritated (with those who weigh "117 lbs" and want to lose five more)

What I have to say may be totally inappropriate, but in need to vent, I joined this site because I have a good 60lbs to lose and I love this site I use it everyday to get my motivation. But latley there has been alot of posts from people who weigh "117lbs" and want to lose five more, I mean come on.I love hearing from people who are successful with there goal but, well all I can say is it irritates me that alot of people here really really need the help this site offers... anyway its being bugging me, sometimes i leave the site feeling worse than when I started...just wanted to get that off my chest , so if I offend anyone! or maybe just maybe someone agrees!

This is a community and everyone comes with different backgrounds.  Alot of our ladies and gentleman have worked hard to lose their weight and the last five seem so close and yet are so hard to get to.  Frankly I can not wait to be able to b**** and moan about my last five pounds.
You do not have to read every post.  Not many of us do.  We have learned to pick and choose our battles.
Alot of members are also in recovery for EDS and need support.

I'm really not talking about people who have already lost a majority of their weight , I'm talking about people who come on ask questions get alot of awesome advice then come on and post the next day that they ate a cookie.

It's all relevant - I've lost 20lbs since coming on c-c, and around 50lb altogether. I still think I have a way to go. I am careful posting on the forums though, I don't like to say, "Oh, I'm 123lbs and I want to lose 13lbs" etc. etc. because I'm worried I may offend somebody, but to be honest, I worked damn hard to get to where I am... and I'm just not that happy with my body.

There are some people here that obviously come for the attention, but I soon just avoid their posts!!

However, if there are some people that wish to lose a tiny amount, or gain, or maintain in a healthy way, I'm all for them joining in on c-c.com.

I'm fitter then some of my friends, one weighing around 115 at 5'6 (I'm 5'3), I could definitely out-do her at the gym!!

It's not just about losing weight, it's about becoming healthy.

Just attribute it to the fact that LOTS of people have food issues, even a lot of the ones that have achieved a healthy weight.

Also, maybe a lot of the people who post on here are more preoccupied (or even obsessed) with this issue than the people who either don't post or who frequent other non-diet-and-health-related forums (fora?)

And also, people who have food issues can still be knowledgable and give good advice. Sort of the way it's so much easier to give good advice than to live by it...  like the advice not to worry.  That's so much easier said than done sometimes....

=)

I feel ya, stormy!

Everyone is at different places, stormy. And I think it's really rude of you to make this post. I have quite a bit of weight I want to lose but who am I to judge others on what their goal is? I'm no one. Those people who weigh 117 or less could look at me and say "jeez... she's so fat... maybe she's not trying hard enough". This site isn't just for losing weight... it's for getting healthy. And the comments you just made are some of the problems we're having here on this forum. Check your judgement before you log in... everyone here experiences it enough already.

Lots of people have come here trying to reach an unrealistic goal.  What they get is information.  Quite a few decide to act on the information and concentrate on becoming more healthy and toned instead of smaller.

We're all here to help each other.

    I am actually using this site to gain weight, does that mean I am not worthy of coming here?  The site has very valuable information and helps me keep track of diet without putting on too much fat.  While it would be easier to throw in the towel and eat fast food everyday to gain weight I just simply do not want to do that to my body and rather make sure I am getting the macro nuitrients I need.

   Also not to take away from other people who are trying to lose a lot of weight, but when you get near your goal or starting to maintain is when you really need a website like this.  There is less margin for error when trying to maintain because a few calories either way will lead you to gaining or loseing weight.  There are many reasons why someone would want to watch his or her diet,  loseing weight is just one reason.

nomoreexcuses and buttonsxandxbows seems to the only folks that got the gist of my post.... I was'nt trying to "knock" anybody. I was stating an opinion about how I felt... thought that was allowed here, clearly I was wrong... as for rude not something I've been accused of before... maybe I'm not the only one who needs to revise their attitudes... but really thanks for listening...

stormy, you arent rude, just frustrated, as is everyone, 2lbs or 200 to lose.  or perhaps 10 to gain.  or maybe just maintain.

and sometimes its hard to reckon with the idea that someone at 117 would need so desperately to be 112.  i get that its hard.

i also get the idea that sometimes we feel so... shot down when we express something that bothers us, it happened to me in one of the very first posts i ever made. 

you havent said anything wrong, and actually, none of the replies to your post did either.  we all have our different ways of dealing with everything that goes on around us.  all we can do is make the decision to support ourselves, take the good with the bad, take help where we can find it, and give help when we can.

some that are too small already need our help more than those that are too large.... and some just seek to be looked at because at least then they are smaller than the rest of us.  you arent wrong to feel bad, anymore than you are wrong to want to lose weight or wrong to be happy with your weight or in any other way.

express yourself and ignore those that would make you feel bad.  the boards only get better the more freely we speak and combat the idea that ANY idea is wrong.  its ok to feel bad.  its ok to express that.  and we all feel the same, whether we want to lose 2 lbs or 200 lbs.

When I read someone who appears to be at near perfect weight, my heart goes out to them, especially the young ones. Who knows, maybe there is someone in their life telling them they are fat. They come here and get the correct information.

I was divorced when my daughter was 3 yrs old. Her mom did her best to keep me from her. When I did finally started seeing her at 13, she thought she was dumb. She grew up being told she was stupid, turns out she has a learning disability. Anyway, maybe some of these folks are being made to feel they are fat. We can tell them otherwise.

I always thought it was very unfair when my larger friends poo pooed my weight loss efforts saying "You're skinny!" It was like "you're skinny, who cares about you!" Well, I'm "skinny" because I work DAMN HARD to keep my weight off -- I'm not like this naturally. I came here because my clothes were feeling tighter and I figured that meant I had put a few pounds on. I thought counting calories would help ... and it did!

I don't care if a person appears to be "skinny" and only needs to lose 2 pounds. What difference does it make really? If your clothes don't fit, your clothes don't fit! Just because another person has 20 pounds or 200 pounds to lose, they are more deserving of the support? That just doesn't make sense to me. I think it's all one in the same. If people can't support me and be happy for me, why should I do the same for them?

All of the above was said lightheartedly -- I'm not yelling at anybody.

Sooo then... I'm gonna go now if anyone else has anything else to direct my way, don't bother I will not be reading it, clearly I got what I deserved ... my fault for trusting strangers really, almost funny actually considering I teach my kids not to. So I'm gonna go find a new website for the tools only, thank you for the lesson it was well learned, from here on I keep my head down. My thanks to the few that tried to really see what I was saying, to the rest of you, you could learn a  thing or to from those, about what it is you think people deserve or don't deserve...

Well, SOMEBODY must be a little touchy because I read NOT ONE post that was snide or derrogatory. Everyone was expressing their views and opinions just as she was. I feel just as strongly about my fatter friends telling me "Oh you're skinny!" and denying MY feelings as she does about her skinny acquaintances *itching and moaning about their weight! I CAN see what she's saying -- I just disagree. A "problem" is a "problem" -- why do some people's have to be worth more than others?

By the way, people CAN just use the tools and not visit the boards if they so choose. She doesn't have to leave just because of this.

i get irritated sometimes too when people come on and ask "will i gain weight if i had a brownie?", but rather than saying something stupid or out of line, i ignore the thread and move on. i really don't read threads that don't apply to me. and, i've thought about this a lot, (and i think it was said earlier) that maybe some of these girls (usually girls), were 100 pounds heavier two years ago and are trying to get to their goal. i set a goal weight of 140-150, and if i got to 143 i would be happy, but i'd be pushing for that last three pounds for sure.

i say - read and respond to what is important to you... don't bother the with the rest...

my 2 cents...

I have been here two weeks. I have over 150lb to loose. I get what Stormy is on about, however, TACT is a good thing.

At first, when I started to read the posts I felt that alot of these girls had image problems, and were a little "Crazy" to be trying to loose more, because, there pictures show them to be beautiful. I have been overweight all my life. I mean really overweight. I would do alot of things to be there size and revel in it forever.

But then I got to thinking. Thank god they are here! I mean if they do have a problem, I mean with their body image, what better place for them to be. Here they will get support they need to make sure they dont fall prey to an eating disorder. Here, atleast, if they really want to loose that extra 5lb to make that dress fit or for what ever reason they see as valid, then they will be shown the healthy way to achieve it.

ok Ive added my two cents....

I know what you mean. It is really annoying. I have 35 lbs to lose (I want to lose 65, but that's another story).

No need to leave the site Stormy!  It's tough when you post something that people don't agree with, I know.  But, I think maybe you knew some people would be rubbed the wrong way by the post, since you said it might be inappropriate, and that you might offend someone.

It is a controversial subject, but trust me, you are not the first person to feel the way you do, or the first one to verbalize it.  :)  This sentiment has shown up in several other threads since I've been here - so you are definitely not alone!  Granted, many/most people who post in response will disagree with you (as do I, for the record), but that doesn't mean that there aren't others who empathize with your feelings and understand exactly how you are feeling.  That's the true beauty of a community this large.

So, stick around - now that you've gotten a controversial post out of the way, the rest of your experience here should be gravy!  :)

*cues up the music* Does that means it's time for... random offensive post?!?! ;D

Panda's right. This is a very controversial subject and alot of people feel very strongly about it. You are, by no means, the only person who feels that strongly. At the same time, alot of the girls doing this believe strongly that it's their life and their body to do with as they please, which... they're right. It is.

I don't have any good advice on how to deal with it, or even how to get past it. But, I hope you don't leave the site over this. Every person on this site brings a contribution :)

I AM one of those people and I am sorry if I have irritated anyone. I have always been super supportive of any person on this site who wants to achieve health and weight loss through this site.

Five pounds is five pounds. Each one of us has a goal and limit to what their body is capable of achieving. I didn't find the post particularly offensive and understand how you could be frustrated, but I think that is your issue. I wish you all the luck with your weight loss and extend my support if it is needed. It's good that you have vented and I hope that opens your dialogue to everyone here! :-) We are good listeners (or readers)!

The way I understood Stormy's original post was that she is annoyed with the people that come to CC weighing what appears to be an ideal weight for them (or even underweight) and complaining that they have 5 pounds to lose when the rest of us may be overweight and actually have 20 or more to lose.  I can kind of see her point, but I also realize that a lot of those posters have EDs, so I tend to ignore the posts.  Wouldn't it be wonderful if I weighed 100 pounds and only needed to lose 2 more!  Well, not really.  I think a lot of these girls have self image issues, and that last 2 or 5 pounds isn't going to make them feel better.  Since I don't know what they are really going through, I can't relate and skip these posts. 

On the other hand, I'm more than happy to read posts from people looking to lose the last 2, 5, or whatever because they have already lost a ton of weight (even if it was only 10 pounds).  I'm excited for the people that have accomplished their goals and are so close to being at their ultimate goal weight.