Isn't life funny sometimes? (A Post About Body Image)

Well the other night I was with some friends (three guys, two girls) and we were all watching Twilight together (lol the guys got outvoted). And the prom dress shopping scene came on, and I saw Angela (the tall friend Bella has in the movie) and I thought in my head "Woah! She has such a nice thin body!"

Just after the thought passed through my head, one my guy friends says "Oh my gosh! She is SO grossly skinny!". Both of the others guys chime in, and all us girls were silently watching the movie (waiting for Edward! haha).

I just thought it was so funny how different female and male perception is. Haha, after hearing their comments I have felt so much more secure that I even realized that I don't want to loose as much weight as i originally thought! (I wanted to be 110, but I'm changing my goal to 120)

omg thats fantastic! im proud

its rather accurate actually even how im treated at different weights, like when i was underweight i would get comment, when i was overweight they were to nice to. now at a healthy weight they let it be known, im a bit heavier than most other girls 128 pound, but they still reckon i look great.

the 'best looking girl in school' isnt thin either, shes really pear shaped, good bust etc. the thin ones never seem to have boyfriend either. i notice also, guys only ever comment on how thin a girl is in a bad way, ive never heard 'thin is good' coming from a guy. and most decent guys arent going to pick on the fatter girls, if they do, they wouldnt be worth my time.

to be womenly you need some fat stores, thin is straight and boring.

I must have the male perspective. When I was watching that scene I was thinking that Angela was too skinny and that Jessica had a nice rack

then of coarse there are the people who dont care and dont pay any attention, they arent as focused on looks, everyone is different and has different perspectives, accurate or not

wish the guys i knew thought the same way, most every guy i know adores skinny girls, the skinnier the better. 

Wow that's so awesome! It's funny how tiny little events like that can affect your perception to such an extent.

darkylinky- I might be wrong about this, but I don't think it's entirely true that guys adore girls who are as skinny as possible. Although a lot of guys might prefer girls with smaller frames who are on the slender side, I don't know any guys who would like their girlfriends to be bony or model thin by any means. It seems like they prefer curves lol.

What I have noticed is it is always the teenaged boys that want the skinny skinny girls. But when/if they grow into a man it will change. A real man wants a woman with curves, boobs, hips. They do not want a girl that is flat as a board and starves herself to stay thin. They want someone who will eat with them and enjoy eating with them - even though men do eat more, but still.

My boyfriend, who is 22-year-old real man (if by 'real' you mean heterosexual ) likes only skinny girls. The skinnier the better.

Sounds like you need a new boyfriend.

Sounds like you don't know what you're talking about.

It is funny how that worked out for you. 

I had a similar experience in my advisory at school. My friend gabby was asking all of the guys if they preferred girls with prominent hipbones or love handles, and every single one of them (maybe like 6 guys- all very different types of people too) said love handles. The cutest one even commented how he admits he likes a little meat. 

Girls and Boys perceptions of beauty are very different.

Some guys think a thin “skinny” body looks better, and some don’t. It is simply a matter of opinion!

The over all attractiveness of a women is not only based on weight - a skinny girl with terrible acne, a large nose, and crooked teeth will probably not look as attractive to a man than a larger women that has perfect teeth, great skin, and a beautiful face.

Physical beauty is an over all package.

If a women has a larger or medium body frame and they have to starve themselves to be thin, then their unnatural thin weight is likely to look bad on them even though the same weight can look fantastic on a naturally smaller women.

Also, starving women usually think about food too much, are irritable and not as attractive due to their manner.

There are some beautiful looking women who are naturally very skinny - if it is natural and they eat enough calories, then their skinny weight will look great for them.

Now, a super model is when a girl is very skinny AND has a beautiful face. Less than 1% of the population are super models. Most guys can recognize what conventionally attractive is; they see a skinny model with perfect teeth and they naturally know that that is considered attractive.

However, some guys do not value or even like what a super model looks like; a lot of guys think it looks too perfect for them to touch.

So, remember to NOT assume guys prefer curves because some actually don’t; differently guys like different weights.

Weight is only a visual thing too. Only a small % of guys NEED a girl to be super skinny in order for them to even consider having feelings for them.

Personally, I have heard guys that like extra thin women AND guys that have said that they prefer curves!

yeah, this makes a lot of sense.

I remember learning about this study in my sexuality class. Women estimated what size they "needed" to be to fit males' expectations, and they grossly underestimated men's acutal ratings! Meaning, they prefer more curves than we ladies would expect.

Glad your experience was reassuring (:

It's weird...in my experience, guys say they prefer a girl with curves/criticize the overly skinny girls, but at the same time, strictly date stick thin girls...a guy has actually dumped me, I dropped a lot of weight, and now he's interested again.  I don't think they realize that they're being hypocrites, which is the worst part.

Original Post by wormyeyelid:

My boyfriend, who is 22-year-old real man (if by 'real' you mean heterosexual ) likes only skinny girls. The skinnier the better.

 A real man does NOT date 15 year olds! Sorry but your bf is a pedofile and a creeper.

Yeah. This is definitely true.  It's ridiculous! I hope you're right about guys wanting heavier girls as they get older because I am tired of being a size 4 and considered "chubby".

Don't be so prejudiced.

You don't know me, and you don't my boyfriend.

So don't judge.

Haha you girls are funny. Most of you get the point, it's a matter of opinion. I, a real man, at the ripe age of 20 and serving our wonderful country, do not prefer "skinny" girls. Like the OP's friend, the thought "gross" comes to mind. Most super models are unattractive IMO. By skinny, I mean this. I like women to be healthy and in shape, Jessica Biel....  Curvy women, umm, my ex was roughly 5' 5" and 145lbs and she was gorgeous. So, creepy skinny is a no-no and curves are fine by me!

Oh and wormyeyelid, I'll pray for you.

Original Post by wormyeyelid:

Don't be so predjudiced.

You don't know me, and you don't my boyfriend.

So don't judge.

 Do you mean prejudiced?

I know 2 very important things about him 1.) he is my age and is dating and having sex with a 15 year old girl. 2.) he "likes only skinny girls. The skinnier the better".

Wow he sounds like real winner.

This isn't a spelling competition, and if you must know, it was very early in the morning when I wrote that. Hence the second line making no sense.

My point is, some guys like curvy girls, some guys like stick-thin girls, it's just personal preference. There is no wrong or right answer when it comes to physical attraction, I'm certainly not attracted to the same guys that my friends are attracted to. My definition of beauty is quite different to the next person's idea of beauty. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that.

What really disappoints me is when young girls change their appearance and ways of living just to please men. After years of fighting for our rights to be equal citizens as our male counterparts, women still measure their worth on a man's opinion.

Luckily, I've always been quite thin. Appearance probably mattered to both me and my boyfriend at the beginning of our relationship, but we aren't in the slightest bit concerned about it now. Relationships based on appearance don't last. It seems when you truly love somebody they sort of mould into your idea of beauty despite what you thought to be 'ideal guy' or the 'ideal girl' before your relationship began. Now whenever I think of the perfect guy (appearance-wise), my current boyfriend always springs to mind.

If you must know, both myself and my boyfriend have suffered from eating disorders so he really understands me and supports me and my recovery.

So yes, he is a real winner.

I like girls, and I'm a girl, so I get a little bit of both worlds. Most of the girls I'm attracted to are actually bigger.... I don't know, there's just something more substantial about being curvier. I'm not talking hugely overweight or whatever, but you know. Another thing is, I think people, well mainly women, overestimate how much some guys care about a few extra pounds. If their comfortable in their own skin, a boy or a girl is wayyy more attractive. And personality really does mean something, and how you take care of yourself, etc.

But on the other hand, I remember watching that scene and thinking "Jessica has a nice rack," like coralbell said haha, but also being a little jealous of Angela's hip bones. Like there's this invisible power that comes from being that thin, more control, whatever. I think we just place all of our bodilly worries on weight, and kind of think, oh if I get thinner then I'll be pretty.

But anyway, that must've been a great self esteem booster.... It always makes me feel better when guys mention how they don't need they're girlfriends to have perfect bodies.