Let's say I've been being an idiot. Undereating.

So, this month, I have been being very bad. I have been undereating. I began March 1st at 120 lbs(5'2), and it's March 26th and I'm 111. Average daily intake.. Which I am perfectly aware is unhealthy: 800. I have disordered eating tendencies which have been with me since my teens. I am 21. I had to watch my father get sick and die in our living room within a month this last January. Full time student, part time job. Stress beyond my own comprehension. Feelings of lack of control have spiraled into the urge to control my weight.

I wish to remedy this without gaining back the ten pounds in the blink of an eye. Do I slowly move up the count to 1200? Will I gain then? How much? How can I help the urge to binge that is surely on it's way?

I want to fix this, not hear about how I've been doing it wrong. I know exactly what I've done and while I may not want to, am willing to accept the consequences.

Thank you ahead of time for your understanding. This is really embarrassing to admit, but I know when I need help.

PS: Sedentary to light activity, very small frame.

I am so sorry about your father and all the stress you are going through. All of it sounds very hard and I feel for you. Perhaps you should just slowly work your way back up to a healthy calorie intake. Add some light exercise if you have the time. Good luck with everything!

Original Post by kat56:

So, this month, I have been being very bad. I have been undereating. I began March 1st at 120 lbs(5'2), and it's March 26th and I'm 111. Average daily intake.. Which I am perfectly aware is unhealthy: 800. I have disordered eating tendencies which have been with me since my teens. I am 21. I had to watch my father get sick and die in our living room within a month this last January. Full time student, part time job. Stress beyond my own comprehension. Feelings of lack of control have spiraled into the urge to control my weight.

I wish to remedy this without gaining back the ten pounds in the blink of an eye. Do I slowly move up the count to 1200? Will I gain then? How much? How can I help the urge to binge that is surely on it's way?

I want to fix this, not hear about how I've been doing it wrong. I know exactly what I've done and while I may not want to, am willing to accept the consequences.

Thank you ahead of time for your understanding. This is really embarrassing to admit, but I know when I need help.

 

PS: Sedentary to light activity, very small frame.

 

OK, I have walked and sometimes still do walk in your shoes.  I did  have a very active eating disorder for over 12 years, which now is 20 years ago.  However, at times of extreme stess, especially since I stopped using my chemical substances, I have fallen back into small binges and then purging.

I understand you.

I can suggest you do 5 or 6 small meals a day, so you never feel too full. And maybe spike up your activity level a wee bit?

It's a hard place to be  in, I really do get it.  ALSO, don't weight yourself as often.  Maybe once a week at the very most.  Dont' drive yourself crazy-well try not to go too far.  We all know how expensive gas is these days!  HA! LoL!

Keep us filled in on how you're doing, OK?

 

r

I'm not sure if this is reasonable for you, but how about slowly increasing your calories without stepping on the scale? That might take some of the pressure off since it is likely you will gain a bit of water weight in the process. It's possible you won't, though. I increased from 1400cals to 1600 all in one go and didn't gain an ounce. You've been severely restricting so it may be different for you.

I know you probably know this, but you may need to increase beyond 1200. That is a good first goal to get to though. I know that you know the BARE minimum is 1200 and I'm not trying to lecture you, just prepare you for getting beyond that number in the future.

I'm so sorry for your loss! I completely understand stress too...especially with school. I'd say definitely increase your caloric intake slowly... but try to eat organic foods and veggies and fruits, that way you are making sure you get your vitamins too and you know you are eating good things. Also, definitely eating small meals throughout the day... breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. snack on lowfat yogurt and granola, or almonds or fruits. when you eat more, watch the calories on the label, it's easy to go over 1200 or 1500 when you eat things (take a granola bar for example) with more than 150 calories!

exercising as well is great, just keep in mind that if you gain muscle, your weight will go up... but it's a small price to pay for looking and feeling great! Numbers aren't everything. I can't freak out about gaining "weight" when it's only muscle...not fat. plus, exercising will make you feel better, and give you more energy.

I've been using the calorie tracker/food tracker etc. on here and it has helped tremendously. i know where to adjust and what to cut back on.

I hope it works for you, and just know that school stress is temporary...it'll be over before you know it. Good luck!

god... I'm there with you, I can't offer what works for me because I still fight the fight. My two mentalities are "eat whatever you want because no one cares anyway" or "oh my god, how many calories are in that piece of gum". There doesn't seem to be an inbetween for me.

If you need someone who can understand and never judge, i'm here...

all the best

I am a full time graduate student with a part time job, so I definately get the unmeasurable amout of stress thing. Nevertheless, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I can't ever imagine what that feels like for you! 

I cannot offer advice on how to go about upping your calories, but I'd like to say a little bit about the calorie restricting. You deserve to feel good, even as you go through every bit of stress you are experiencing at this time. You deserve to be healthy and happy. You sound like you know what healthy behaviors you should be engaging in. Try to focus on that- just being proud to give yourself exactly what you need! In the end this will be the best way to cope with the loss of your dad, the school work, the job, etc. You are being pulled in many different directions, but you still need to put yourself first and doing so will give you the energy and clarity needed to tackle your obligations and problems- and believe that you deserve and are worthy of success.

Original Post by sticksandberries:

god... I'm there with you, I can't offer what works for me because I still fight the fight. My two mentalities are "eat whatever you want because no one cares anyway" or "oh my god, how many calories are in that piece of gum". There doesn't seem to be an inbetween for me.

If you need someone who can understand and never judge, i'm here...

all the best

 I know that feeling very well. But I'm getting through it. This site has been helping me. I'm not binge eating one day and starving myself the next anymore. And even though I'm not losing weight yet, I feel good because I'm never stuffed and I'm never starved. It's helping me find that happy medium I've been looking for. And instead of feeling bad about my weight, I feel good because I'm being healthy now and the weight will come off in time. And I've just begun exercising recently as well. I don't think of calories as BAD BAD BAD anymore, I just log them and move on. I don't binge on junk food because I know I'll have to log EVERYTHING and then I won't be able to eat some real food that I know I'll want later. Hope this helps both of you. And if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. I've only been doing this for about a week or two, but so far so good. And on the days when I don't want to eat, I force myself to eat something that's healthy so I don't feel bad about eating it.

I don't know if you may do this already but a fun thing to monitor and control is the nutrition you eat everyday, you can see this by using the analysis option on the toolbar.  Maybe you could up your calories to 1200, like you said, and watch your nutrition closely.  This may help with the impulse to be in control of something, but instead of restricting you would be watching the nutrition and aiming for A.