Am I a jerk?

Okay, so while I'm totally trying to lose weight for myself and for my health (and for really attractive dresses,) it's a complete motivator for me when my roommate (also supposedly dieting,) brings home fast food constantly and refuses to go to the gym because "she just doesn't feel like it."

There's some like...sick satisfaction that I get every time I walk our dog or step onto the elliptical...some kind of "Well, guess who's got the willpower, sucka!" thing. 

Ultimately, I want her to eat healthily and go to the gym WITH me...but the fact that she refuses to skip Wendy's and just make a sandwich--or go to the gym instead of sleeping til 4...just makes me feel really smug about the whole thing.

I guess I've never had great sympathy for people who complain constantly but won't do anything.  There are plenty of big women who are happy and confident and don't want to lose a pound--and awesome for them.  Kudos.  Congrats.  But if you spend all your time complaining about wanting to be thin--and refusing to do anything--sorry, I spite you.

I've been big my whole life.  And I've gone through phases of being indifferent and eating EVERYTHING in the world--not caring about my weight, etc...But if I get to a point where I'm unhappy--that's when I step up and DO something about it.  And this time, I'm trying to do something about it for good.

Am I alone on this?  Anyone?  Anyone? 

You aren't a jerk. You are just proud! As you should be!

There is nothing wrong with taking pride in looking after yourself and sticking to a healthy living plan. 

More power to you I say!

You aren't sabatoging your roommate - she is doing that to herself. So feel good that you aren't a self-sabatoger while you bust your butt on that elliptical and skip the Wendy's. YAH!

Amen. Lol.

Seriously though, you have point. Complaining isn't going to get you anywhere. If you have a problem with something, step up and take action. So congrats on what you're doing and good luck!

No, I have the same mentality. In my opinion you'd be a jerk if you lectured her about it or rubbed your success into her face...But I don't think you are. Just be careful that you don't let her regressive habits interfere with your progressive ones!

Not at all!

You are seeing what she is doing to herself and using it as your motivation to keep up your hard work.

I think we all do this to some degree...

Empty complaining is one of my biggest pet peeves.  I can't stand it.  If you don't like something and you have the ability to change it, then do something!

If you're a jerk, then so am I.

haha not a jerk!  I agree with you totally on the complaining, yet not doing anything about it...

On the flip side, if I'm having a lazy day, and I see my roommate coming home from the gym it definitely motivates me to get my sorry butt over there too!

OMG, what a jerk!  Tee hee...  I totally understand.  Bitch all you want if you're trying to do something about it.  If not, then suck it up, buttercup!

Haha...I do the same thing. Actually, right now both of my roommates are on weight watchers while I've decided to just eat healthy on my own and work out and hour or two a day. 

One of them doesn't work out very often and when she does, she goes slowly on the bike while reading a book.

Knowing that I'll see results before she does just pushes me even harder to be better than her!

I'm not going to lie...we're bitchy, but I like it :)

I can understand what you are saying, but although you wouldn't react like that doesn't mean that other people don't have substantial reasons for, well... kind of "giving up on themselves". I think people can be caught in a terrible defeatist mentality where they are just so depressed and down on themselves, and those people really need help not just with weight but with so many things, and in that case I would really sympathize with her. That might not be the case for her though, but you never know what is going through people's minds. They could be depressed as hell and not show it.

You know what?

You gotta take whatever motivation you can collect and use it for you.

We've all struggled at some point with motivation, so if it strikes you, take it!

I find that when I'm surrounded by ppl who don't care what they're eating, I more easily climb aboard that bandwagon. I admire your strength, wherever you get it from (:

i say it's okay to be smug, whatever makes you feel good about yourself.  there should be no shame in feeling pride about how well you're doing, we all make our own decisions and shouldn't feel guilty that others don't take appropriate actions to become healthier.  i say enjoy any satisfaction you can get, dieting is hard enough without the guilt.

No, not a jerk. In her you are seeing what you could be doing- you could stay at home, eat like poo, and sleep- but you are not, and like everyone else said, you can be proud of the decision to do healthy things of yourself.  As long as you aren't giving her crap- then what you are really doing is celebrating your own good choices.

You're not a jerk but do remember the adage 'pride comes before a fall'.  I remember losing weight in the past and looking at overweight people with a certain amount of 'if I can do it, why can't they?' condescension.  And then I ended up obese again.... ta-daaa... and how stupid did I feel then?

Live and let live... if someone else's poor choices make you more determined to make better choices, great.  But don't get too annoyed with your room-mate for being lazy.  As the saying goes... 'be nice to people on your way up as you might meet them on your way down'

A jerk? Enh, maybe a little bit. Not at the cut-off-in-traffic-forcing-you-to-threshhold- break-and-spill-your-coffee level of jerk though.

Most people experience a bit of schadenfreude though at some point or the other, so I wouldn't beat myself up over it were I you.

And a little extra motivation helps, regardless of where it comes from.

Oh trust me--I've gained and lost weight like it's my job.  I'm big now.  I've lost plenty--only to inevitably gain it back.  I certainly don't think that all bigger people need to slim down--and I don't judge people who DON'T want to exercise.

It's moreso that my roommate was supposed to be my workout PARTNER.  That we were going to cook together--and she was going to hit the gym with me several times a week...but she pretty much NEVER eats with me...and LITERALLY told me, "Yeah, I lied.  I'm not going to the gym." 

It's not a "Get off your ass because you need to lose weight!"  It's more of my spiting her for leaving me to do it on my own...that's why I joined this site in the first place.  Support.

Don't worry.  I don't think thinner is better as a general rule.  And I don't think people are lazy who don't want to lose weight.

However, I can't help but be a little cranky that I'm left without a partner.

I appreciate the use of schadenfreude in your comment.

Original Post by muppetlips:

Okay, so while I'm totally trying to lose weight for myself and for my health (and for really attractive dresses,) it's a complete motivator for me when my roommate (also supposedly dieting,) brings home fast food constantly and refuses to go to the gym because "she just doesn't feel like it."

There's some like...sick satisfaction that I get every time I walk our dog or step onto the elliptical...some kind of "Well, guess who's got the willpower, sucka!" thing. 

Ultimately, I want her to eat healthily and go to the gym WITH me...but the fact that she refuses to skip Wendy's and just make a sandwich--or go to the gym instead of sleeping til 4...just makes me feel really smug about the whole thing.

I guess I've never had great sympathy for people who complain constantly but won't do anything.  There are plenty of big women who are happy and confident and don't want to lose a pound--and awesome for them.  Kudos.  Congrats.  But if you spend all your time complaining about wanting to be thin--and refusing to do anything--sorry, I spite you.

I've been big my whole life.  And I've gone through phases of being indifferent and eating EVERYTHING in the world--not caring about my weight, etc...But if I get to a point where I'm unhappy--that's when I step up and DO something about it.  And this time, I'm trying to do something about it for good.

Am I alone on this?  Anyone?  Anyone? 

 

I understand how you feel.. my friend and I are supposed to be on this diet together, and she completely gave up the 3rd day, and I think has been trying to somehow sabotage my diet.. i refused to give in, and the look on her face made me kind of smug when we weighed ourselves and she gained 4 lbs and i lost 10.. so you're definitely not alone!

You are definately not a jerk!   I never have sympathy for people like that either. 

Keep it up you can do it!!!

If you're a jerk then so am I!  I currently live with my aunt, who is an ice cream junkie.  She complains about being fat all the time, yet she still eats ice cream and pork chops and fast food indiscriminately.  I am proud to be doing something about my weight, and I feel motivated every time I see her sit down with a bowl of rocky road.  There's nothing wrong with drawing inspiration from those around us who have no willpower!

I have definitely felt a little smug passing the cream sauce at a family dinner, lacing up my runners as a coworker lines up for a burrito ... it definitely can be motivating.  And I'm glad that you're not throwing it in your roommate's face or anything.  But if you guys are good friends, you might want to take into consideration that maybe she's down about something, or something besides laziness/apathy is preventing her from getting to the gym.  Maybe ask her to meet you there one day in the future?