Junk Food Binge

I know that everyone on here eats a very clean and healthy diet.  I am so sick of eating clean and not enjoying life.  I watch people at work enjoy a yummy cake for a co-workers retirement party, but all i can think about is calories and how much i will have to work out to burn off all the sugar.  Then, I get back to my desk and all i can think about is eating Doritos.  It just isn't fair because I have restricted my body for so long, why can't i just want to eat clean foods?

Doesn't anybody on this website ever just want a dorito or a chocolate bar?  I mean people of all shapes and sizes enjoy these things pretty regularly and they don't freak out about the calories.  I see very healthy people enjoying chips at Subway, and I just think about how i really want some, but i know that they are not part of a clean diet. 

I agree that healthy is best,  but why can't i indulge myself because i have restricted for so long.

BTW I did go to the vending machine and I ate two bags of doritos for a snack that amounted to around 310 calories.  They tasted delicious, but now i feel like a fraud because i didn't eat my apple and peanut butter.  It is just so confusing because everyone here seems to eat these very healthy menus, and i feel like i am the only one that really craves these things that are so off limits to everyone else's diet.

I am on weight gain and don't eat clean at all and really need to work on my sugar intake. I do believe everything in moderation so I will always daily have sweets but I hope under better control then I do now. My nutritionist said many who have had long issues with anorexia do have sweet tooths even when eating high calorie and gaining diets. Anyhow part of recovery to me is going to a party and having cake. It is social and enjoyment. I think it is good you enjoyed a vending machine snack. You can have an apple/pb somewhere else in your day. What works for one person may not for another so try to focus on what you need and your body wants/enjoys

I eat healthy 70% of the time and when I go to restaurants I make healthy choices.

I recently asked about "clean eating" and the response here was "no, don't throw out groups" and office cake, my dear, is a group. And its free. And its good.

I like cake. I asked about clean eating expecting people to be like "Yes! Just oats and PB and boca burgers for you!" but no, people said... eat your cake. I mean, ok, if you're bingeing on junk food its just that.

I've been eating cake or a pastry for dessert every night. Darnit, I love it. I have my flax bread and my lean low sodium protein and my fruit and my yogurt and all that jazz... I have my boca burgers and I have my cheeseless, veggie filled pizzas.

And I have my cake.

You should, too.

Eat it! Indulge! It's actually GOOD for you! 

No, to answer your question, I don't really "just want a dorito or a chocolate bar," right now I'm craving some Greek yogurt and peaches, actually, so I think I'll have that as part of my lunch. But when I crave my favorite ice cream, I eat it! Depriving yourself is what sets you up for these binges. I used to stay up late at night eating boxes and boxes of Girl Scout cookies, sugary cereal, sugary granola bars, the big bags of M&Ms and mini Snickers bars that you're supposed to put in a bowl or something... all this and so much more in one sitting. Then I would freak out about the calories, because yes, there's a heck of a lot of them!!! But if I hadn't told myself I couldn't eat them my body wouldn't have felt the need to binge, so the calories would be a lot less. Maybe just one chocolate bar, maybe just a handful of Girl Scout cookies. Seriously, healthy is best, and that means healthful foods with treats in between. It's good for your mind and sanity.

You're not a "fraud" because you had Doritos instead of an apple and peanut butter. You wanted something for yourself and you went with that intuition. It's good just to be able to eat without over analyzing it all. No, you don't want to eat ONLY those kinds of foods. You need good nutrition from other sources. Have the apple and peanut butter for a snack later. But it's GOOD to treat yourself. People do this in their own homes all the time. I don't know anyone who doesn't who doesn't have an eating disorder, seriously. Most people do it everyday, multiple times a day. Don't worry! You're not the only one! Balance is everything, and you need a balance of healthy and fun foods to fuel your body and your mind.

Thanks for all your comments.  I don't feel like i need to go run or anything since I ate the chips, but instead i feel happy that i let myself have what i was craving instead of restricting like usual.  I guess it is just hard to read through the forums here and see that everyone here eats so healthfully.  I seriously have a hard time with health foods because i always ate poorly before ED.  I was always a snacker and i never really was forced to sit at the table and eat.  I think that is why it was so easy for me to develop my Ed because my parents never forced me to eat anything or engage in family dinners.  I would often sit in front of the tv and eat nothing but cereal all day because i was so picky.  My doctor told my mom that as long as i was eating then she shouldn't worry.  I was always very small and short, but no one in my family is tall.  I guess that i just have a hard time incorporating foods that i never liked to begin with into my diet now, and when i read the "what i ate today" forum, i get freaked out that my choices are so bad in comparison. 

I restricted on "unhealthy" food for so long. I did crave junk food-all of it. I slowly introduced it back into my eating. Im only now realising that, as a preference,I actually prefer food that is what society says is "healthy"(not restrictive though). Like, porridge, tuna,chicken, brownbread, salad, nuts, seeds, meat, veggies, fruit, all that stuff, soya everything!. So, rather than feeling a)insecure for not being able to eat "Out of the box" or b)being afraid to eat "out of the box" , I now accept that I like what I like, and when I want something "unhealthy", ill have it. Again i have preferences here too, i wouldnt buy a chocolate bar in a shop, becasue I dont like them, but i would buy a box of roses and have those (not the whole box)!, i looove banana bread but haaaaatteee! bananas.

What Im trying to say is, As an ED recoverer, I prefer "healthy", its just a preference, but I dont think"unhealthy" is wrong, and I still have that too.

P.S-I hate using the words unhealthy and healthy, everything is good, but i dunno else how to explain myself.

I'm maintaing right now and I just had a serving(equal to 3 squares) of Ghiradelli chocolate raspberry squares. "Junk" food can be yummy and desirable, expecially when its really good quality "junk". Food is just fuel for the body and mind, and while I wouldn't sit around all day and eat my chocolates, but when I crave them, I eat them. I might even have a treat later on when I go to this party after work.

It's totally fine to have junk food. I think the recommendation is 80% healthy, 20% fun! I have a chocolate bar every day :) I have found I'm less interested in junk food since I stopped restricting: whilst I was restricting I CRAVED it so much. Maybe the reason you're craving it is because you're not eating enough.

please dont feel bad , your not at all , this is totally normal , i get it all the time i cant really add anything as the other girls have said it all, but they are right you need to start introducing these things back into your diet , please dont feel bad ,thinking of you h x

I have dark chocolate bars and Nutella on a daily basis. I also have ice cream and eat out quite frequently.

Really, when you are trying to gain - at the end of the day its calories in that count. Doesn't matter if you get 300 from a banana and PB or a candy bar, as long as you ate those 300 calories.

I think, honestly, the clean eating idea only perpetuates eating disorders to take on a whole new form.  I know many people struggle to allow themselves to eat the "junk" foods because they are quite enjoyable and somehow, ED always wants to deny us those pleasures. My personal feeling is that if you can allow yourself to follow your desires, go with it and be proud of it! Being afraid of food, any food at all, totally sucks and it just complicated your life. Sure, its great to be eating enough food on a daily basis, especially at first - that is a huge accomplishment in and of itself. At some point though, we have to let go of obsession and say "I want to eat that cookie." and enjoy it.

A few words from non-ED person:  I agree with everything above.  I eat in moderation--weakness is chips or similar things and I have some nearly every day; I also have many of the things that people list in the "What I ate today" thread and I've been inspired enough to buy many of the healthy things and most are delicious!

It really bugs me when I'm eating with other women who are think they need to lose weight and they start verbalizing guilt about having this dish or that food.  I want to say "Please, just enjoy lunch.  If you want it, order it and maybe you can exercise later, or not."  Moderation as everyone said.  Enjoy that snack bag or two from the vending machine when you feel like it and have a yogurt or something later.

SSkirt

I don't eat all that clean. I told myself if I stopped eating fast food altogether I'd never be able to keep this thing up, so I still eat some, though obviously a lot less than I used to. I do feel like crap if I don't get enough fruit and vegetables in every day, and I like the food I cook for myself a lot more, but I definitely couldn't live up to the eating habits of most people here. I'm still losing weight regularly, so I guess I'm good for now.

Ctigger, I have to tell you, I defnitely do NOT eat totally "healthy."  I'm more concerned with keeping my calories at about 1200/day.  Sweets aren't my achilles heel, but if I DO want something sweet, I'll have one or two no-sugar-added pudding cups (60 cals ea), or a couple of Sugar-free Fudgsicles (80 cals for 2).  If I want something a little crunchy and salty, I've discovered Special K crackers (120 cals for 24 crackers). I still have pizza every couple of weeks, and I know on those days I'll exceed my desired calorie total.  Then, the next day I might try stay at 1000 cals.  I can have a tablespoon of peanut butter on a slice of toasted Sara Lee 45-cal bread (about 140 cals total).  Once a week, or so, I have an Omaha Steaks stuffed baked potato with 1 tablespoon of butter (about 480 total cals).  The point is, I'm still eating the foods I really like, just watching my total daily calories.  And, I check my food log every few days to see how I'm doing regarding protein, carbs, sodium, sugar, fat, and fiber.  I'm generally right in the middle of what's recommended.  I drink V8 juice because I don't like cooked vegetables, and I still eat lean pork, chicken breast tenders, shrimp, and cod.  See?  I'm still eating the things I like.  Some may not consider it healthy eating, but it works for me.

don't worry about it.

sometimes the mealplans here are overwhelming, i mean, sorry, make my own bran muffins? starbucks do pretty good ones tbh! and wtf is unsprouted bread?

its so odd that i'd way rather eat 500cals in unsalted nuts or wholemeal toast than a malteaser bun and hot chocolate, where as before anorexia this would be ludacris! i asume there is a balance, between sensible healthy eating choices (like salt and caffene intake - although healthy for us atm is everything and anything) and listening to what you actually want.

and yes it is true for some reason i do crave more healthy foods than before my ed. Like i used to love roast and now i love boiled potatos. Or brown bread, and wholmeal i find nicer than white bread. and boiled brown rice to white.

but then again, i love Ben and Jerrys. and have it! i think the big thing for me was really liking  the idea of things and then eating them and finding out they were not as good as i remembered. This may be that just we appreciate simple flavours after denying ourselves any food at all for so long, and also my nutritionist says that some people crave nutrients rather than food so make subconscious choices for them?

i dont know, but at the end of the day, if you want doritos have em.  I always like to think that in the grand scheme of things, a bag of doritos? purlease! its not like a bottle of wine or what! i start to feel guilty after a 5 cocktail binge, but then again, so would most people!

good luck, its about you! we both must keep telling ouselves this, i also must listen to my own advice!

Mea culpa. I'm one of those people that you're talking about- yes, I eat the amount of cals I need, but I am pretty anxious about eating lots of junk. I have incorperated fun things into my diet- chocolate, ice cream, etc. But I admit that I mostly eat it when I'm with my friends to seem normal. Otherwise, I eat far healthier than the average girl my age. I'm working on it.