Kids set up for failure?

i was on my commute to work this morning at around 8am, and i looked up to see a woman push her small child onto the train. the little girl was probably about 2 years old.

in one hand, she was clutching a ziploc bag full of fruity pebbles. in the other hand, a tootsie pop. at 8am.

really lady? that's what you give your kid for breakfast? REALLY?

i was waiting for her to pull out a can of mountain dew with a nipple on it and hand it to her to wash it all down. i stared in horror for a few seconds and then went back to my book. just couldn't help thinking how that poor little kid doesn't stand a chance of developing healthy eating habits.

yesterday, a woman sat next to me with a small toddler on her lap and handed him a large bag of funyuns, which he proceeded to chow down on for a good 20 minutes.

don't get me wrong, i'm not the type to say a kid should never ever have fruity pebbles, lolly pops or junky snacks...but that just blew my mind. are people really still that clueless when it comes to nutrition? why, when there are so many healthy options to feed your kid, would you choose such nutritionally worthless snacks? i mean the lady this morning had obviously brought the cereal from home so it wasn't a case of being on the run and having no options.

has anybody else experienced things like this? i'm not a parent but i certainly hope that when i am, i am able to better watch out for my kids health. i know kids can be picky and fussy, but is there ever any reason to give a two year old a bag of sugar and a lolly pop for breakfast? 

Original Post by jef9up:

I think it is a perfectly normal thing to observe people and draw conclusions from what you see in that moment.

So many people say 'butt out' and 'don't make assumptions' 'you aren't the mother you don't know'. But I think its a normal human thing to people watch... and think about what you are looking at.

It's silly to think people shouldn't have opinions about strangers.

I judge strangers all the time. I create stories for them. I watch their actions and their lack of actions. It doesn't mean I'm a fortune teller and psychic - but it does make me think about society as a whole watching the trends and behaviours from the masses.

My opinion on the OP's post - to see that kind of thing at 8am is a disappointing trend.

 LMAO ... I do the same thing!!!

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

Original Post by enchantingimage:

Original Post by jules817:

and the mother knew she dropped it. i saw her look at it when i hear it hit the floor, and then deliberately step over it as she exited the train.

Gr. Litter bugs. >_<  Litterbugs disrespect all of the people who live, walk and gaze upon this earth every day. Everytime I see someone litter I want to blow the whistle on them. That's a horrible thing to teach your child from a wee age,imho.

Edit: Sorry. I have zero-tolerance attitude to litter.

 Hi. I honked and flipped off the a-hole in front of me when they threw a cup out of the window. I wanted to ram my car into their **** camaro.

There was car load of teenagers ahead of me in line once. Suddenly: A can is tossed out of their window. The car is in park so while they were waiting for their food... Apparently.. They decided to clean out their car... Then a wrapper is tossed out the window. Then a bag. Then another can.... then a straw wrapper... AND I was out of my car at that point. My husband was like: " What are you doing? Where are you going? " Me: I'm blowing the whistle on these kids.

I picked it all up putting it inside the bag they'd tossed out their window and walked up to their passenger window. " Hello, does this belong to you? - smile- Great! Now.. Can you just ask the person at the window to throw it away for you?! That would be great!.... "- shoves it back in their window -

Original Post by jef9up:

I think it is a perfectly normal thing to observe people and draw conclusions from what you see in that moment.

So many people say 'butt out' and 'don't make assumptions' 'you aren't the mother you don't know'. But I think its a normal human thing to people watch... and think about what you are looking at.

It's silly to think people shouldn't have opinions about strangers.

I judge strangers all the time. I create stories for them. I watch their actions and their lack of actions. It doesn't mean I'm a fortune teller and psychic - but it does make me think about society as a whole watching the trends and behaviours from the masses.

My opinion on the OP's post - to see that kind of thing at 8am is a disappointing trend.

 THANK you jef9up. i live in the city and ride public transportation every single day. i like to people watch. i too form opinions and assumptions about people. it's a human thing to do, it's impossible not to.

everyone is acting like i said something to the woman, which would never even cross my mind to do. as if none of you have ever made assumptions about someone you saw in public. i thought people here, a place where folks come to try to learn healthy eating habits, would be equally disgusted by what i saw.

but apparently people are more concerned about the feelings of a woman on the T, who would have to have ESP to know what i was thinking.   

enchanting.. that is AWESOME!

Original Post by crazydiamondchrysalis:

enchanting.. that is AWESOME!

Thank you! I wish everyone would blow the whistle on Litter bugs. Rawr.

Original Post by jules817:

Original Post by jef9up:

I think it is a perfectly normal thing to observe people and draw conclusions from what you see in that moment.

So many people say 'butt out' and 'don't make assumptions' 'you aren't the mother you don't know'. But I think its a normal human thing to people watch... and think about what you are looking at.

It's silly to think people shouldn't have opinions about strangers.

I judge strangers all the time. I create stories for them. I watch their actions and their lack of actions. It doesn't mean I'm a fortune teller and psychic - but it does make me think about society as a whole watching the trends and behaviours from the masses.

My opinion on the OP's post - to see that kind of thing at 8am is a disappointing trend.

 THANK you jef9up. i live in the city and ride public transportation every single day. i like to people watch. i too form opinions and assumptions about people. it's a human thing to do, it's impossible not to.

everyone is acting like i said something to the woman, which would never even cross my mind to do. as if none of you have ever made assumptions about someone you saw in public. i thought people here, a place where folks come to try to learn healthy eating habits, would be equally disgusted by what i saw.

but apparently people are more concerned about the feelings of a woman on the T, who would have to have ESP to know what i was thinking.   

 No. I wouldn't be disgusted. I'm a mother and could easily put myself in her place, is all. And someday, when you have a child or two, you will do the same thing. That too, is human nature.

gator - i agree with you.  we'll never know the backstory, and i'll never know what it's like to be a mother until i am one.  and everything is always easier said than done.

but what's annoying me is how many people are acting like they don't judge situations.  chances are what the kid was eating was routine.  yes, there is a slight chance it wasn't normal, but the probability was that it is.  it's not like jules smacked the woman across the face and handed the kid a carrot.  she made an observation.  we all make observations.

oh, and i'm a damn critical people watcher.  it's bad.

I love to watch people. Truly fascinating at times. I make up elaborate stories for them, so I tend to disregard the assumptions that spring to mind.

unless i'm drunk ;)

Original Post by kathygator:

Original Post by jules817:

Original Post by jef9up:

I think it is a perfectly normal thing to observe people and draw conclusions from what you see in that moment.

So many people say 'butt out' and 'don't make assumptions' 'you aren't the mother you don't know'. But I think its a normal human thing to people watch... and think about what you are looking at.

It's silly to think people shouldn't have opinions about strangers.

I judge strangers all the time. I create stories for them. I watch their actions and their lack of actions. It doesn't mean I'm a fortune teller and psychic - but it does make me think about society as a whole watching the trends and behaviours from the masses.

My opinion on the OP's post - to see that kind of thing at 8am is a disappointing trend.

 THANK you jef9up. i live in the city and ride public transportation every single day. i like to people watch. i too form opinions and assumptions about people. it's a human thing to do, it's impossible not to.

everyone is acting like i said something to the woman, which would never even cross my mind to do. as if none of you have ever made assumptions about someone you saw in public. i thought people here, a place where folks come to try to learn healthy eating habits, would be equally disgusted by what i saw.

but apparently people are more concerned about the feelings of a woman on the T, who would have to have ESP to know what i was thinking.   

 No. I wouldn't be disgusted. I'm a mother and could easily put myself in her place, is all. And someday, when you have a child or two, you will do the same thing. That too, is human nature.

 Agreed Kathy.  While I did everything I could to make sure my kids had plenty of healthy food, they were allowed a certain amount of sugary snacks as well.  I remember when I first had kids, I was determined that they would only have healthy food and snacks and since they would never have junk, they wouldn't miss it.  Of course I eventually learned that this was a fantasy and they'd want the sugary snacks regardless, so I eased up on it.  I came to realize that there is a time and place for everything and it's fine to let your kids eat some junk as long as it's not their main staple.  My boys were also very active and neither of them are overweight as adults.  I really don't think that I'd like the government in my pantry any more than I'd want it in my bedroom.  I worry more about the lack of parenting in this country leading to gangs and crime.  I'm worried when I see news reports of kids being abused by their mother's boyfriend and still the mother stays with the guy.  I worry when I hear about kids graduating and not mastering the skills needed to succeed because their parents didn't push them to do the work and an overcrowded school system practices social promotion.

Original Post by caverlady:

I really don't think that I'd like the government in my pantry any more than I'd want it in my bedroom.  I worry more about the lack of parenting in this country leading to gangs and crime.  I'm worried when I see news reports of kids being abused by their mother's boyfriend and still the mother stays with the guy.  I worry when I hear about kids graduating and not mastering the skills needed to succeed because their parents didn't push them to do the work and an overcrowded school system practices social promotion.

 This is all well and good, but this is a calorie-counting website, so it makes sense that we're worried about children's diet trends... and I don't think Jules is suggesting that the government should intervene.

People watching and crafting their story as I see fit is one of my favorite writing exercises; a true boon for character creation. Judgement is omnipresent, interaction, not so much.

I have long since stopped trying to figure out what passes for good judgement by many I see, people in general have the capacity for great stupidity as well as genius.

I teach kindergarten.  I've worked with small children for about 10 years.  People need to realize that there is a direct correlation between what their children eat and how they behave.  It's no surprise to me that on days my school serves pancakes with syrup for breakfast I have more behavior problems.  On days they get the egg biscuit with fruit and milk they are much calmer.

What we feed our children has a direct effect on their behavior, attitude, and academic performance.  If your kid eats crap then more likely than not he is not going to be as well behaved or perform as well as the child that eats a balanced diet with limited sugar. 

This is not a hard and fast rule but it is a trend.  As long as convenience and speed are our top food priorities this is just the way it is going to be.

Don't even get me started on bedtimes.  Sheesh. 

Original Post by purespark:

Original Post by caverlady:

I really don't think that I'd like the government in my pantry any more than I'd want it in my bedroom.  I worry more about the lack of parenting in this country leading to gangs and crime.  I'm worried when I see news reports of kids being abused by their mother's boyfriend and still the mother stays with the guy.  I worry when I hear about kids graduating and not mastering the skills needed to succeed because their parents didn't push them to do the work and an overcrowded school system practices social promotion.

 This is all well and good, but this is a calorie-counting website, so it makes sense that we're worried about children's diet trends... and I don't think Jules is suggesting that the government should intervene.

 No she didn't, but someone mentioned Social Services getting involved with obese children or something like that.  Also, this is The Lounge so anything's in play, right?  I just think that without knowing more specifics it's impossible to tell if the cereal was the child's breakfast or just a snack for the train.

Original Post by jules817:

 i thought people here, a place where folks come to try to learn healthy eating habits, would be equally disgusted by what i saw.

but apparently people are more concerned about the feelings of a woman on the T, who would have to have ESP to know what i was thinking.   

On the surface, sure, the scene of a 2 year old eating sugar cereal and hard candy is disgusting.  "On the surface" being the operative phrase here.

It also has nothing to do with the woman's feelings - particularly since you've made it clear you said nothing to her.  Excellent for you!

And it doesn't appear that people here are claiming to be oh-so-innocent, only they wouldn't have made the same assumptions you did in that particular situation. Which, of course, you are free to do.  But if you put up the post and ask the question, you're going to get varied responses.

caver - it was pavlov who mentioned social services being involved in european countries...not jules.

edited: checked and confirmed.

Exactly. Santonacci Post#95 :)

She was probably using the lolli as a tool to keep her kid busy and quiet so as not to disturb the other passengers. I don't think it means that the kid is forever doomed nutritionally. And it doesn't necessarily mean that it is an everyday occurrence to give the child junk in the morning, or that the parent is a terrible parent for doing it. Babies are people too. Alot of them like sweet things. It starts with the baby food. Pears, Sweet Peas, Peaches, Applesauce, all sweet things and all baby food. Babies either develop a sweet tooth or they don't. It is easy for anybody who isn't a parent already to say I am going to do it this way when I have kids and I'll never do that, etc. However, life doesn't always go according to plans.

Also, little kids often get up early. She could have had breakfast at five am and may have been having her snack. Are there healthier things out there, yes. But are they going to work as a way to keep the kid busy? Maybe yes, maybe no. A two year old isn't really old enough for crossword puzzles. Toys can be thrown at people's heads or easily lost. And alot of children will turn their noses up at a bag of broccoli. Its a tough call when it comes to kids. I have given my kids lolli's when I know that I need them to be quiet because we are in a circumstance where i do not have control of their surroundings, such as a train or a waiting room. I don't give them junk all the time. Other people can be quick to judge you for your child's behavior. They are also quick to judge on what you feed your child.

I wonder how annoyed some people might be on their commute that day if that child didn't have the lolli or the cereal. We might be reading a post about how annoying small children are on commuter trains in the morning.

It could be store-brand fruity pebbles. I don't know, I don't really care what people do with their kids. When I was a kid my mother made me eat healthy (she used to be a health freak...) and I turned out obese, but my brothers didn't. We were all fed the same.  Maybe I should've had a lollypop in the morning! :0

I ate some sugary cereals growing up, I didn't have weight problems til I became a teenager. I miss Fruity Pebbles, Fruit Loops, Trix and the like. My favorite cereal was and still is Cheerios though. Mmmm.

Like I've said in a billion other threads, nutrition is not taught properly in school or anywhere else. English is drilled into our heads every single year of school, why not nutrition? Then again, don't get me started on youth and grammar/english/spelling... >.<. I think it should be it's own subject (ie not part of health class) and be taught every single year and even in college (like English).

I think Jules' reaction, based on what she saw, is perfectly normal. Sugar + kids who already have too much energy is a combo for disaster. Especially if she's going in day care/pre-school/kindergarten. I feel bad for the teacher/guardian. =P

I hope no one judges me too harshly when I have a small coffee coolatta in my hands (I'm overweight...) from Dunkin Donuts. :s It's 200 calories that I'm having with my lunch, ok!?!?! *hides*

Original Post by lulufit:

I wonder how annoyed some people might be on their commute that day if that child didn't have the lolli or the cereal. We might be reading a post about how annoying small children are on commuter trains in the morning.

Sooooo true!