Kiss your sister!!!!!!!!!

One of my most potent (if not fondest) "family togetherness" memories is of a time about 10 years ago when my husband's family had gathered at my mother-in-law's house.  My approximately 5-year-old nephew had done something to my approximately 3-year-old niece, which prompted my sister-in-law to start screaming, in a manner reminiscent of the Wicked Witch of the West, "Kiss your sister!!! Kiss your sister!!! KISS YOUR SISTER!!!" 

Anybody else have lines that will live in infamy?  Maybe it was a family member saying something funny or ridiculous, maybe it was an obscure line from a tv show or movie, but it stuck with you.  One of my favorite lines is from Star Trek:  The Next Generation--"Quick, Nelix, get the cheese to Sick Bay!"  

Let's hear those great one-liners!

my 4 year old: "You can put kittens in the oven, but that don't make 'em muffins."

My youngest brother, first day of Kindergarten. The teacher's going through the rules with them, trying to get the students to interact. So she asks "What do you think the rules in school are?" She gets alot of usual responses "Don't hit, don't run, etc."

My brother says "Never say (the s-word) in school."

...

We have yet to let him live this down. :D

When my nephew was in about second grade he brought home a straight A report card.  My mother asked him who the smartest one in his class was.  After giving it a serious amount of thought he replied,  "  the Teacher."

When my brother was about 3 we had a Halloween decoration of Dracula hanging up, and for some reason my brother pointed at it and said "Bickleman!" It sounded funny and we were calling all vampires on tv "Bickleman" for a while after that.

Two funnies from my 2-year-old:  Calling elevators "alligators," and calling his nebulizer a "lazy lizard."  I really enjoyed the looks from other guests in the hotel, as he's walking down the hallway saying, "Let's ride the alligator again!"

unofficial family motto 1: When in doubt climb a tree. Winnie the Pooh

unofficial family motto 2: No one knows the way of the wind, or of the Carribou. Wild Kingdom

Official family motto: First in Battle, Last to Retreat.

 

When younger I apparently but  inadvertently called a small town of Barriere  Brassiere by mistake ... I've yet to live it down some 30 years later ...  Interestingly it is my family that recalls me saying and I have absolutely no recollection of it!

when our youngest was 3 or 4, she went up to my husband and said "Daddy, you are the boss in the house...Mamma said" 

we couldn't stop laughing

my family has a video of me, at probably 5 years old at my grandmas pool.

my dad did an impressive cannon ball, and soaked me.

i started running around shrieking "you got my HAIR WET!! you got my HAIR WET!!"

i did this while in my bathingsuit, after having spent the day swimming. apparently hair wetness was only OK when i was actually in the pool.

they still like to taunt me with it 22 years later!

When we were little, my grandfather used to call me and my sisters Snodgrass.  One day, he said it to my little sister and she started bawling.  When we asked her what was wrong, she said "My own Grampa called me a snothead!"

Accompanied by a pointing two year old in front of several family members: "Mommy's mustache".

After my son learned about mustaches :\

 

When my son was 6 years old and in 1st grade, his teacher shared this story with me.........My son would always be one of the first children on the playground for recess.  As the other 7 classes were releasing their students through the only double doors leading to the playground....my son would stand on a small mound of dirt waiving his arms towards his body shouting "Come to me my little minions!"   The kids would run to him.  She and I were laughing so hard there were tears in our eyes.:0)

My dad likes to tell us these stories. When I was little we were shopping and I asked my dad what these exercise machines were, he said they were for fat people, so I point to a woman and say "she's fat!"...he got an earfull from her. Another time we were on the bus and a very old woman got on, and I said "look at the cracks on her face!".

When my brother was little, he asked for something in the store and I guess he got tired of hearing things he wanted were too expensive, so he said "I want something that's too expensive". One time he tried to say "I want cake" in a funny way, it came out as "I want c**k" lol...he was old enough to realize what he'd just said, and him and I still laugh about it. There's another one with him I think but can't remember it.

Outside of a grocery store once, my nephew saw a rather large lady who had flabby arms.  He looks at my sister and me and says, "Man!  That lady's got big muscles!"

My brother and sister and I were trying to quietly remove our muddy clothes in the basement. We had been literally wallowing in a huge mud puddle. Our plan was to get clean clothes out of the dryer and rinse out our dirty clothes. We heard a noise behind us and slowly turned around, knowing it was my mother. She just stood there silently, like bomb, about to go off. We all just froze. My brother turned to our little sister and said, "Leah, run!"

I don't know why we found that so funny. We all still laugh about it and use it when we are scared.

I loved reading this thread.

I have two that are kick'n around in my head right now;

"YOU ATE A BABY" and "WHAT'S THAT DOG SAY'N"

When my mom was pregnant with her youngest, she also had a 2 1/2 year old. One day they had a conversation (I was there to witness) that went something like this;

2 1/2 year old: Mamma, why is your belly so fat?

Mom: My belly is not fat sweety, there's a baby in it.

2 1/2 year old, with a look of complete horror on his face: "YOU ATE A BABY?!"

My mom actually had this story published in Reader's Digest and was sent a check for $500.

And another one; Me, my dad, and 3 year old brother were watching Mary Poppins. In one scene, Mary Poppins iS listening to a barking dog...as if her and the dog are in conversation. My 3 year old brother, with frustration on his face glances at my dad and asks, "what's that dog saying dad?". My dad and I were in stitches. My dad couldn't disappoint him by telling him he didn't speak dog...or rather, he was laughing too hard to break it to him.

This ones from not to long ago maybe a year or 2 ago....   I was sittin in my room alone and no one was home so i started cranking the music i was playing..   any way a song came on by the Beastie Boys (forget the name of the song)   any way my mom comes home and i didnt hear her... next thing i notice is that my bedroom door is opening and just as the song gets to the part that says "WHATS THAT NOISE"  my mom walks in and yells "whats that noise" out of shier reaction i said "mom your just jealous its the beastie boys"   which happen to be the lryics to the song.... she never really got it when i tryed to explain to here what i was laughing about..... if you know the song you can prolly imagine the scene

My best stories are of my sister when she was really young as she was very very literal.

My parents were sitting on the couch talking about how cold it was in the living room and my dad says "I think that's because there's a draft coming under the door", and my sister starts crying. My parents ask her what's wrong and she says, "Why is there a scary giraffe coming under the door?!?!"

The better one with her: We were in church around christmas and my mom is trying to explain to my sister that this is God's house and my sister is obviously very confused. The priest is walking up the side aisle a few moments later and my sister, with a very serious look on her face says loudly, "Mom, is that God?!". My mother was mortified and the priest laughed the rest of the way to the altar.

My family had a game called Perquacky. You have 8 or 10 dice with letters on them, you roll them, and try to get 5 3-letter words, 5 4-letter words, etc (bonus points if you got 5 of a length). Sometimes it's easy. Sometimes you have no vowels and a Q and X.  My cousin, about 8, had a very difficult roll, and couldn't even get enough 3 letter words to make a set.  He arranged the dice to spell "MOF".  When we pointed out that this was not a word, he replied, without missing a beat, "Sure it is - it's Irish jelly."  Years later, when put on the spot, we often inform each other that mof is Irish jelly.

I have a few...

My cousin for the life of him couldn't pronounce "beach."  To this day... when we get the the beach everyone in the car starts yelling.. look mom the bit** the Bit**!!!

Right after I learned my colors, I went grocery shopping with mom.  I'm pointing out diff things and yelling out the color.. until I point at a woman and yell.. look mom! look at the purple lady!!!  She walked up and said, no honey, I'm black.  The lady found it humerous... My mother was horrified.

My sister and I were at my aunt's house swimming... We didn't have swim suits, so my aunt said, "no worries, swim in your shirt and panties" so we did.  Come time to get out, my aunt gives us each an oversized t shirt to run around in.. they fit like nightgowns... while she put our clothes in the dryer.  My sister Nikki just kepy repeating.. "but I don't have any paaaaaannnnnties"  I'm now 26 and Nikki is 21, when we see a swiming pool, "i don't have any paaaaaaanties" hahahaha