I know exactly how to do this... BUT

So in January 2007 I weighed 283 lbs... the highest ever. I kicked my butt into gear (counted calories, lost a lot, then added in exercise and lost a bunch more) and was down to like 225 in June or July of 2007.  I moved out of state for a while for religious service reasons, and I just got back. In a year and a half I gained about 30 lbs back, and now weigh 255 lbs.

I know how to lose weight.  I know when I shouldn't eat something, I feel guilty when I realize I haven't worked out in days. I do not feel good about how I look. I hate & love looking at old pictures of myself (30 lbs makes a HUGE difference... especially THOSE 30 lbs) - I love it because I love the way I looked even though 225 lbs is still not the below 200 I am aiming for, I know I looked great.  But I also hate looking at the pictures because I know it'll take about 4 months of HARD WORK to get back there.  And I am a very impatient person.  I know 4 months is NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING... but I can't get the monster inside of my head to STOP talking - the monster that says it's too long to "wait" - it's too much work - it's not worth it. I KNOW IT'S worth it. BUT WHY DO I STILL EAT 5 s'mores and 3 hotdogs at a bonfire with my friends? WHY? Because I do not think about how my present actions effect my future.

How can I motivate myself to do this? I know how to do it. Maybe i need a buddy.  I need to wallpaper my bedroom with pictures of how I used to look. I don't know. HELP ME if you can PLEASE!  I need to do this. I know I can. I love shopping for clearence clothes, hiking LONG distances, having guys take second glances at me, being able to cross my legs, and not have to delete 99 out of every 100 pictures I take of myself (not that i take 100's of pictures of myself, but you see what I mean).  But I can't do any of those things right now because I am overweight.  I hate being fat. 

Okay I am done for now... please give me your feedback!

Kalli

You have to find your own strength and motivation. It's different for everybody.

Last night, my mother in law was breaking up chocolate for everybody, and, fully knowing that I'm on a restrictive diet, held out a huge chunk of chocolate to me.

I love chocolate.

But I know I can't have it all the time, everyday, whenever I want.

I couldn't bring myself to actually say no, so I just looked away from it and shook my head. She instantly realized what a slack thing she did and pulled it away right away, and I excused myself, but it takes those moments of strength to keep up your diet.

One bad meal, one bad afternoon, one bad day, one bad week...doesn't mean that you can't still do it.

So you ate 5 smores and 3 hotdogs at the bonfire. That wasn't sticking to your diet, but everybody deserves a moment of weakness every now and then. The least you can do is LEARN from it.

What made you eat all those hot dogs? Was everybody else pigging out? Were you the one cooking? Had you had a bad day? Were you just having a great time and looking towards the extra food to make it an EXTRA great time?

Learn from it. Say, "Man, this hot dog is so good, I better eat it slow to relish it." Make a big show of relishing it in front of your friends. I do that in front of my husband when I eat a very small amount of dessert, knowing that I would want more if I just inhaled it. I take tiny bites...say mmmmm a lot...enjoy it slowly. And afterwards, my husband goes, "Well, looks like you really enjoyed that." And I did. I don't need anymore to enjoy myself any further, I enjoyed that slice of cake to it's full potential.

Don't put yourself down in order to motivate yourself. Yeah, every once in a while get inspired by your own pictures, but don't kill yourself with it. Empower yourself, put yourself UP, and that will motivate you. Say, "I am just going to eat one hotdog, and a couple of graham crackers." And then when you do, say, "I can stick to a diet. I can say what I'm going to do, and do it. I am powerful, and in control of my own body."

If you really have to, avoid those situations to start with. Don't go until you're sure you can control yourself. Buy yourself small portion meals. Buy yourself healthy snacks -- I swear by Animal Crackers. Figure out what your bad habit is, and then work to change that. Mine is Portion Control. I am working hard to fix that, and I'm slowly doing that, just by changing little habits one by one.

Most of all, realize that YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN DO THIS. You are not going to gain this weight again. You're GOING to lose it, and you're GOING to keep it off. If you work hard, you WILL do it. Stop thinking of it as something you can let go and pick up again. You know how to lose weight. You need to learn how to keep it off. PAY ATTENTION TO YOURSELF. Don't make the same mistake you made before.

Above all else, think of what the Main Thing is -- The Main Thing is to lose weight and keep it off. And therefore, the main thing in any diet is to keep the main thing, the main thing. Don't let it fall by the wayside. If losing weight and keeping it off is the MAIN THING, then remind yourself of it before you go, "Oh, screw the diet, I want pie." You'll say, "The main thing is to lose weight and keep it off. Pie is a secondary thing. Since they are in direct conflict, I'm going to have to find something else."

Good luck -- YOU CAN DO IT!

xo ari

I think the only real option is one day at a time.  I haven't really had any huge goals in front of me.  My goal has been one day at a time, a calorie deficit of 500 a day.  When I view it like that, it's a little bit easier and a little bit less overwhelming.  I only have to think about one day.  I don't have to think about what I ate yesterday (2 big slices of pizza, 2 breadsticks, dessert, doctor pepper, pronto pup (battered & fried hot dog), half a sandwich, cheezos, blueberry pancakes - it was a bad day).  I don't have to think about what I'm going to eat tomorrow.  I can focus on what I'm going to have for breakfast.  And then what I'm going to have for lunch.  And whether I'm going to exercise today or tomorrow.

It has been 4 months for me, and I'm 1 lb away from a 30 lb loss.  It doesn't feel like 4 months, but at the same time, it feels like forever.  Motivation ebbs and flows.  Roll with it.  Commit to the mini-goals.  Take it one step at a time.

I am extremely new to this site and found that in the past "dieting", although it worked for a short time, does not work long term.  I know how frustrating and slow this process can be but it is important to remember that it is a change in life style.  I know you hear it over and over again, but One day at a time is so true.

Some mornings I am so tired I hit the snooze button and then don't have time to work out.  I found that a great low stress way to exercise at work is to walk.  Sometimes I just walk laps around my store, or walk around the outer perimeter of the mall I work in, on my lunch break.  Every little bit helps.  Walk up and down the steps a few extra times a day, park further away from the gracery store.

Remember a healthier weight and lifestyle is a marathon not a sprint!  I know you can do it!

I don't think will power and motivation can always win over being in that zone where your brain is shouting "Don't eat this" at the same time as you're putting a pint of ice cream in the microwave to soften up a little so you can eat the whole container even faster. You need to discover what foods you can be in control eating and which you cannot.

I think of myself as a food addict and won't even bring certain foods in the house that I have no control over. I think it is important to start substituting foods you like, but don't love,  for foods you have no control over. I have no control over ice cream in the pint size and if I eat the whole thing I've blown a whole days worth of calories. I like, but don't love, ice cream sandwiches and yogurt though, so if I overdo and eat two containers of yogurt I'm only two hundred calories in the hole. If I eat three small ice cream sandwiches, I'm only out 300 calories - not great but not crazy.

If I'd been at your picnic,  I would have wanted to eat three hotdogs too, but probably only one burger, so I would have chosen the burger. I would have had roasted marshmellows (which I like) when everyone was eating the smores and maybe had the last smore when they were running out of food (I'm not a saint).  The strategy is to stick to what you like eating  (so you don't feel deprived) instead of eating foods you know you can't control.

I find I can have pretzels and popcorn in the house, but not certain kinds of chips. I know I'll eat the whole bag of chips all in one sitting, but I don't think I could ever eat more than about 20 pretzels. I wouldn't even consider buying a cake. There's no way I could avoid eating it in a day or two - and I live alone. Cutting up portions for the freezer doesn't work - I know how to use the microwave!

I also avoid buying bread and pasta and splurge on fresh fish and steak and chicken which I really like and which fill me up. I couldn't imagine eating two salmon fillets, or four cups of cherries, even though they're delicious. Two bowls of spaghetti and meatballs is another story!

I may be naive, but I think this is my last diet -- the one for life. I don't think I will stop being a food addict, or having an occasional binge, but counting calories and educating myself on which of the hundreds of good foods there are that taste good but  that will not set me off has given me hope.

I hope you might find this useful.

4 months seems so far away - but in 4 months you will be 4 months older, a new healthy weight, or an old just as fat or fatter weight, you will still be 4 months older.

September will still come, the fall will still be right around the corner.  But there is NO WAY to lose those pounds in less than 4 months without surgery.  Still you COULD have surgery and spend about 4 months recovering from it to end up, still 4 months older and still september but thousands of dollars poorer.

I guess you will just have to decide who you want to be in 4 months.  You thinner and better.  Or you - just as you are now (or heavier). 

It's hard, but if you choose to do it you will. Like you said you know how - but cut yourself some slack, if you work at it every day a night off now and then will not hurt your goals. Its the everyday choices that do it, not one night at a bonfire.

After having lost 80lbs in one  year, I have crept back up over three years to 240lbs. I need to lose at least 20 this year, preferably 40. Yep its gonna be hard, very hard - people who have never had to do it have no idea how hard. Best of luck!

Right now I weigh the heaviest I've ever weighed. Well, I don't know that for sure because I haven't dared to weigh myself, but my clothing size is a number I never in my life thought I would have to wear. It is very depressing. And the depression woke me up. I realized I have to knock myself out of this limbo -- knowing full well what a struggle it would be to get back in shape. It took me about two years to put on this weight and now I want it all gone in a flicker. Yeah right. I am very impatient as well!

Here are some things that motivate me:

• My husband; I want to look attractive again, for him.

• Health; I want to live long and be active late in my life.

• Fashion; I love clothes and I love to be able to wear lovely clothing that fits well. There is nothing more frustrating than to sit down and feel all that... well, you know.

• Confidence and happiness; there is a sense of great satisfaction and joy in taking on a project. To come home sweaty and tired from a brisk walk, and to know that it does make a difference. With each successful week this sense of fulfillment increases and the will power does become stronger!

I do my dieting and exercising on my own and it is indeed tough. See if you can find a work out buddy. Start going on walks every day. 20-30 minutes. But get out every day, no matter how repulsive the thought is. If you think people stare at you, so what. My trick is to wear dark colored clothing, haha! But get out there and stick with it. It will give you a good feeling once you get used to it.

For some reason the food diary really helps me keep my eating habits in check. It becomes so concrete, so visual, when broken down into calories. What makes me happy is to know that I can technically 'eat what I want', as long as I stay under my daily allowance. Do you keep a food diary? If you think this online diary is too tedious (I kind of do) just keep a written one in a small journal. In it I also write down my daily exercise. And when I finally weigh myself I'll keep weekly tabs on it.

Know that you are not alone. And know that you are much stronger than you think. I fully believe you can accomplish what you want. Focus on your strengths and don't let your 'monsters' win. The reward will be awesome!