You know you're a recovering anorexic when...

Thought it might be fun to add some humor to our quest for normalcy!

Add anything you think of!

Here's a few to get you started:

You know you're a recovering anorexic when:

--you DON'T buy something at the grocery store because it is too "low-cal"

--you can cram 700 calories into a bowl of cereal, and have fun doing it

--you dream of HAVING hips ;)

--you would request a 500 lb tub of peanut butter if being exiled to a deserted island

--you know that being able to "eat whatever you want and not gain an ounce" is totally not what it's cracked up to be

--you rue the term "fast metabolism"

--you secretly want to smack every woman that asks you your "secrets" to staying thin

--you have an ex named Ed, and you've never been married!

--you know that the term BMI for you means "Better Make (another) Increase"!!

Any others?

Haha, finally I can join you guys here ;) Recovering is really fun when you learn to close your ears from the ED-monster inside your head.

---

One night I made pancakes (omg, with WHOLE eggs, MILK, not water and even used butter on the pan. My grandma (who I live with) comes into the kitchen and looks at the small stack of pancakes on a plate.

Grandma: Oh, you should have made more of the batter...

Me: I did, I just ate my share already.

Grandma: Really? How many?

Me: I dont know but at least... 6?

----

We always make jokes about that this is the "House of Disordered eating". "The grandchild doesn't eat enough, the grandmother eats too much" (but lately we have both been better!) My grandma weighs about 190 lbs and has some problems with eating too much and at night-time... Sometimes she doesn't remember she's been eating at night and finds out the packet of icecream has disappeared or finds cookie crumbles from her bed... Anyway, one morning...

Grandma: Oh no!

Me: What's the matter?

Grandma: The Snickers bar I bought for you... Oh this is so embarrassing... But I think I have eaten it last night, it's no longer here, where it was yesterday...

Me: No, I just ate it.

Grandma: Oh! Can I hug you?

---

- I wish I did have some curves... C'mon! A rectangular butt is something SO wrong.

- I used to feel like giving up eating for good after stepping on the scales... But now, I usually go for a 400-calorie fruit smoothie after the scale!

- I kinda taught my grandma (who, note, is obese) to use less margarine on her bread... But now Im doing everything in reverse! I use so much margarine I can barely see the bread... ;)

 

- I used to be so stressed about my calories I woke up in the night to list my calories on paper and make sure they have been counted correctly... Last night I felt curious and started to add up the numbers in my head, but suddenly stopped and thought "nah, I feel too lazy to count calories now" and went to sleep. Omg?

- You never heard me say "Oh no, this yogurt is so delicious, but it has only 40 cals per 100g! Why on earth do they take the fat out of it?" before, did you?

---

We ordered pizza one night. We always split the pizza, and usually we have different toppings. I always asked to put no cheese on my half... But now:

Grandma: Anna, the pizza came!

Grandma walks into the kitchen with the unopened pizza box. She opens it and reveals a pizza cut in half; the other side with no cheese, the other covered with it

Me: What, you didnt take any cheese on your half?

Grandma: What do you mean, this here is cheese *points at the cheesy half* I thought you didn't want cheese...

Me: But that was BACK THEN! Can we split the cheesy side? *I want some cheese too*

Grandma: No, you can have it!

---

I used to be VERY schitzo about that the soda I drank (a LOT) was SURELY diet. In restaurants I always asked to get my soda in the bottle so I could make sure it was diet. And if I couldn't, I would ask the waiter if it SURELY is diet and make everyone else taste it for me if it tasted like "real soda" or "fake". Well, one day I sat at a café with my grandma. I had told her to get me a coke. Well, she brought me the coke in a glass and after I had drank half of it, she told me:

Grandma: You know, that is NOT diet coke...

Me: I knew it.

Grandma: .......And thats it?

Me: Yup, thats it.

---

My grandma always makes her mashed potatoes using full-fat milk and real butter. Of course I had changed the recipe; half water, half skimmed milk, and something like 1%-fat margarine... So once I came to the table, took a generous heap of the mashed potatoes and asked:

Me: Did you use the low-calorie margarine with this?

Grandma: Yes, I did.

Me: Why on earth?!

Grandma: ...Um, if you want, here's some real butteryou can mix in...

Me: Thanks!

---

I went to a new school lately. I've only been there for like 2 weeks, and everyone already knows me as "The Skeleton who eats like a horse" xD Well, that is to change... Everyone always wonders "how can you eat so much and stay so *grossly* thin?"

My answer is: "I dont, just wait for a few months and you'll never see my bones again."

---

And I have noticed one nice thing... When we go downtown with my friends, they keep offering me ice cream from McDonalds and they insist me to share their candy with them... Not bad huh? :)

Its really strange. Im living my dream right now; I can eat whatever I want and even some more (3000 cal a day for now) and not feel quilty AT ALL... When just over 2 months ago I was still in the hospital with a feeding tube! I'd never believe my life could change so much from that! It took me only a few DAYS to get into the habit of eating! O.O

-You were **** at maths your entire life, but oh man, can you plan your recovery meal-calories in your head!  

--you become upset at the thought that dinner might not include a combo of protein, carb, fat and vegetable

--you discourage 'diet' talk

--you dress to make your body feel comfortable not just because it makes you look thinner

Those 100 cal packs of instant oatmeal are just a laughable breakfast.

Branflakes just aren't right unless they're topped with raisins, banana, nuts etc.

you look forward to easter time again!!

your bra isn't constantly gaping.

you get on the treadmill to relieve a stressful day not because it's a calorie burner.

Those 100 cal packs of instant oatmeal are just a laughable breakfast. Branflakes just aren't right unless they're topped with raisins, banana, nuts etc. you look forward to easter time again!! your bra isn't constantly gaping. you get on the treadmill to relieve a stressful day not because it's a calorie burner.

That's really funny. You really got the stuff right about being a recovering annorexic! :)

i love this post! bumpppp

i am not anorexic (recovering or otherwise) but i have my share of food issues and i find this thread so uplifting and encouraging that it can get better. you guys are so incredibly positive and strong and brave. congratulations to all of you for all of your hard work!

YOURE AMAZING!

Oh my god ieevee, I can comletely relate to your post lol.  I have a house of eating disorders that me and my gran joke about: She eats too much and i when eat too little. Also after weigh ins we go to starbucks and I have their fruit toast with butter and don't care.  This is the best fruit toast EVER by the way, you must try it!

Looking forward to exercising again. not to lose wight but to build muscle and gain :D (plus you have to add all those extra yummy cals to make up for it)

Wanting to NOT to have to wear those dam kids clothes again because nothing else fits

For me though learning about health and how to fuel your body with goodness is the best lesson I have ever learnt, plus you can keep it for life!

When you actually choose not to eat 'just a salad'.

When you are sweating and everyone else is cold :D

You curse diets and wonder why in the h&*^ anyone would ever be on one. Oh and you rant about it to the person in the room for about half an hour.

My cupboard in the kitchen has more calories than the rest put together.

Original Post by teck5168:

You curse diets and wonder why in the h&*^ anyone would ever be on one. Oh and you rant about it to the person in the room for about half an hour.

Haha, I totally agree with this. Since I started recovery I've been questioning people who are on diets and pulling faces at people who say triggering things! I must be fun to be around :P

• Raw, un-oiled/peanut-buttered/dressing-covered&nbs p;vegetables are a rare treat.
• Peanut butter is beginning to taste unappealing after you've finished about 25437 jars of it.
• You are disappointed that there's nothing but fruit and veggie trays at a party snack table.
• You are notorious for carrying various snacks around with you.
• You are notorious for not sharing those snacks. ;)
• Skim milk tastes like water when it used to taste like cream.
• Low fat mayonnaise makes you laugh.
• Fat free butter makes you pass out from the hilarity of it.
• Most celebrates terrify you and you are oblivious to how you ever managed to admire them.
• A short walk through the park seems better than a vacation to Disney World.
• You freak out the people surrounding you in dressing rooms when you yell out in complete and utter joy, "Size ONE! I'm not longer inanimate! YESS!!"
• You wonder when everybody else began eating so little.
• You can easily detect it when your peers have EDs and you strive to help them out of them before they fall too deeply into the disorder.
• You know more about nutrition than your dietitian.
• Rice cakes are no longer the most delicious and sinful food in the world. xD

OMGGG missmagil what you said about wondering wen everyone began eating so little and being able to tell which of your friends have EDs andddd knowing more nurtition facts than the dietiian....yeahhh i agree!!!!

ha me and one of my guy bfffs get into little spats all the time over like how healthy foods are and stuff...yeah its hilarious cuse he knows all this stuff about nutrition and so do i...i should record it some time =]

haha but you know youre recovering wheennnnnn:

• you can out eat that guy friend that is known by everyone to be able to down 1 apple pie, 3 ham and cheese subs, an apple, 2 bags of chips, and 3 cookies in less than 20 mins =] hehehe
• you get pissed at your friends when they talk about loosing weight
• you act like everyones mom because you wantto make sure everyone..including yourself...has had food
• you have your own section in the family snack cubborn and fridge and it takes up over half the space
• you laugh when people try and have you eat "just a salad" for dinner...lol that happened tonight at dinner with my friends and i just bursted into laughter in the restaurant and theyre like what?? and im like that just will not suffice =]

 

• you laugh when people try and have you eat "just a salad" for dinner...lol that happened tonight at dinner with my friends and i just bursted into laughter in the restaurant and theyre like what?? and im like that just will not suffice =]

 

 yeah I can relate!  I was in town today with one of my friends and she went into boots and wanted us both to buy a 'garden salad' for lunch coz she wants to lose weight.  I was just like you have to be kidding me!  It didn't even have chicken or anything with it lol

When you eat your packed sandwiches at break in school cos you've just spotted something tasty in the caf that you want for lunch :0 :)

Original Post by skinnyrkcross:

--you secretly want to smack every woman that asks you your "secrets" to staying thin

OH god it's so true. I hate it when people ask me, "So how did you do it? And so fast, too!" You want to know how I did it? It's called the "LIFETIME OF HATING MY BODY plus a YEAR of STARVATION HELL" diet, books out in Barnes & Noble next month, everyone should try it. It really works!

-you can't wait until all of your normal-sized clothes fit again

-you keep a chart of how your vertebrae disappear over time

-one word: ensure.

Wow,

I'm not anorexic, nor have I ever been. But reading this gave me a whole new perspective on the struggle.  Thanks so much for all your posts.  Great work on getting healthy.  Best of luck for you!  Eat some icecream for me :)  I was just thinking I was gonna spit if I had to eat another carrot or apple.  I'll quit my bishing :)

Original Post by roseofjune:

-You were **** at maths your entire life, but oh man, can you plan your recovery meal-calories in your head!  

 haha this ones so right!

you're the only one your 6th period teacher (that knows you're recovering) allows to eat in her classroom.

 

i love this post btw!

love this thread here afew for me

your the first to the table ready to eat

you realise its far cheaper to eat proper food rather than calorie free foods

your mouth has food in it not chewing gum

your fridge actually has food in it not just diet coke and salad

your store cupboard is filled with hoards of you snack foods like you are scared you might run out

you can keep you jeans up without being tied in at the waist and looking like a bad of muck

skimmed milk tastes like water and is no longer creamy and delicous

your fridge as everything with you name on it so anyone else doesent eat it

you wonder how you actually suvived on so little

you avoid the mags with skinny celebrities in

all the foods you used to eat taste like ****

your handbags filled with cereal bars

you eat the food before you put it through the checkout cause you need your snack

you pull over to stop and have your snack

the old habits return you swig out of the milk carton

you actually feel like getting out of bed hard though it may be