Lack Of Support

A little story for you all...

Prior to October I never used to eat breakfast.  I used to drink at least two, sometimes three or four, Pepsi's a day.  I'd also have brownies and a bag of chips every day at lunch, sometimes in the mornings.  Then I'd load up my plate at dinner until I was absolutely full.  Before bed I'd usually have some tortilla chips and cheese salsa, or a few cookies.  On the weekends I'd often get go out drinking with my friends.  My exercise consisted of a hockey game once a week.  Needless to say I got fat and was definitely not healthy.

Noticing this in the mirror, I finally made up my mind to do something about it.  Since October I have made it a goal of mine to live a healthier lifestyle.  I've stopped drinking pop, eating junk food (except for the occasional treat).  I eat breakfast every day, and I eat smaller portions throughout the day.  I don't drink anymore.  I've tried to make as many healthy choices as possible with my food.  I've also joined a gym and have been exercising, for the most part, three times a week.

Since then I've noticed great results.  I've dropped from an initial weight of 225 pounds to a current weight of 176 pounds.  At 6'3" this has made a huge difference in my appearance.  I've lost my gut.  I have visible muscles now in my chest and arms (thank you bench press!), and I am just starting to see the makings of some abs (a six pack is just starting to show).  I'm extremely happy with the results so far.

The problem is I feel like I don't really have a lot of support from my family.  My parents keep saying I'm too thin now.  But I have a BMI of 21.9 (not even close to underweight).  They think that because my face has thinned out, that means I am 'gaunt'.  They don't understand that you can't just lose fat in one spot.  You have to lose fat everywhere, including the face.  If I have dropped to a healthy weight and this is what my face looks like, then this is simply what my face is SUPPOSED to look like.

The thing is if I really want to get abs, which I do, I will have to continue losing weight in order for them to show.  But according to them, I've already lost too much weight.  I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.  Argh...

I've lost weight at just under 2 pounds per week.  I've done so healthily.  I haven't taken any drugs to make it easier.  I've exercised regularly.  I've made healthy food choices.  So what am I doing wrong?

I feel like it's almost jealousy.  An example would be in my mother's cooking.  Despite my requests, she loads everything up with butter or margarine, tons of cheese...  It feels like because they don't have the willpower to make healthy choices or exercise like I have, they're trying to bring me down to their level.

Have any of you experienced a lack of support like this?  What am I supposed to do about it?  Is there anything I can do?

Sorry for the rant.  But it's really starting to get to me, and I needed to vent.  Thanks for the help.

You're on a right track to a healthy life and it's not a wise choice for you to return back to your bad habits by consuming your mother's food.

I will be 17 on Wednesday, like you, since I was 15 I was 230 lbs and as of this morning I was 151.2 (At 5'8, 11 lbs to go!) I live with my parents, and I also feel pressured.

It's hard to avoid cheesy lasagna, overstuffed tacos, but when I do eat those kind of things, it's in moderation (except on a cheat day!)

Best thing to do is just try to block it out or talk to the parents about it, I'm totally ignoring it, it's working for me so far. I have my mom to buy me low cal snacks and fruit and veggies, and she's fine with it.

Stay healthy. You're doing nothing wrong. If you are happy with yourself, don't care about what other people think. If they don't like you, that's their choice, they don't have to live in your body! Besides, you lost weight! And that's always something to brag about.

Congratulations on your weight loss and your healthy eating habits! As far as your family is concerned, you're right... it probably is jealousy. And they are also probably not used to seeing you "this thin" so it's just something they will have to get used to! Good luck with everything, keep up the great work :-)

Been there!

http://www.calorie-count.com/forums/post/2913 5.html

Don't worry there is also lots of support and people to talk to here.  Your family is probably still adjusting to the new and healthier you.  Give them some time to get use to it and I am sure they will come around.  I am sure your face looks great and not guant at all.  

I made the mistake of moving back home while in college (and commuting)...while I vastly prefer not having annoying roommates and living in a quiet home, my parents are driving me insane!

I eat a lot of fruits and veggies now. I've cut out a ton of dairy (no cheese, butter and so on) and I stay far away from junk food, refined sugars and grains, etc.. I've found that after I've moved to a healthier diet, I've lost all taste for the junky crap that I used to eat.

But my parents don't seem to get that. Okay, like...personally, I don't want to go out to eat anymore- restaurants (especially chain restaurants) give you way too much food, and most of it's pumped full of additives and extra crap to make it taste better. I don't want a big greasy burger or a slice of gloppy pizza...the thought of eating something like that makes me sick. And I just plain like cooking for myself!

Still, when we don't know what to eat and my parents suggest getting a pizza or going to a chain restaurant, and I decline it (always politely!)...they get so mad! Like I'm being "difficult" or like I'm "throwing a flut".

I don't understand why. I have made it so clear that I'm totally not offended if I don't have the same thing they have for dinner. If they decide to go out, I won't feel slighted if they go without me. So, I guess they feel slighted somehow?

Parents are just like that. My parents make fun of me all the time...and they almost act spitefully, like..."Oh, she's too GOOD to eat OUR food." Yeah, because fruit and vegetables are so hoity-toity, you know?

And yeah, I get the "too thin" comments too. They call me "Mary-Kate", "Karen Carpenter" (yeah, classy- one night, my dad started humming "Close to You" at the dinner table...not cool), "Skeletor"...you name it. They say I've gone over to the "dark side", like since I eat healthy now, I'm somehow this bad, evil person who doesn't know how to have fun anymore.

I guess I brought it on myself, moving back home- all my fault. As such, I will have to put up with it until I move out (soon, hopefully)...you just gotta live your own way the best you can. It's annoying and frustrating, but parents wouldn't be parents if they didn't irritate you at least on occasion.

Take it in stride and keep up the good work. Don't give up!

Its nice to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. I no longer get comment from my family. My officemates are starting to accept my gaunt look but make seldom comment that "they rather like me with a fuller face".  I do accept that I dont like how my face turn out. I have some idea of going to surgery to stuff some fats on my face.

I do have baises on people who are gaunt looking. They seems unattractive.

I will still stick on my diet and probably modify it with more protein intake.