Lacking Willpower

I just started trying to lose weight again on March 20th. Mentally, I know the right things to do. The main problem I seem to have is willpower. I have fibromyalgia which makes things a little more interesting. I do okay as long as I feel good, but there is a lot of fatigue involved with this disease and I'm having a hard time finding the willpower to get in the car to go to the gym, cook or prepare the right foods and most of all, to not drink the stupid Pepsi I seem to be addicted to when I'm having a flare up.

I can't seem to figure out how to improve my willpower. I've tried all kinds of motivational things like promising myself a reward at the end, envisioning myself at the weight I want to be...all of those types of things. I guess I'm hoping someone out there knows some tricks to improve willpower when you just don't seem to have any.

I do have a few online friends who also have fibro who are doing this also. We are trying to encourage each other so that is helping, but I'm really frustrated with myself for not being a stronger person and just do what I know I need to do. I think the hardest thing is that I used to be a major fitness buff. I worked out constantly...was even going to compete but then the fibro kicked in and knocked me on my butt for several years before I found out what it was and learned some ways to get around it. Now when I go to the gym I feel like such a wimp because I absolutely cannot work out like I used to....even though I want to.

I AM making progress. I've lost a few pounds and I do see some changes happening, which is very encouraging.

Hey, I know how you feel. I don't have fibro, but I don't have much willpower either. I was doing good exercising for about three years and then last april I took a new job and got completely off track. I was already over weight, but making some progress towards my goal, but now I have gained 30lbs in the last year because of lack of exercise. It is really disheartening.

I have been a member of a gym forever and I am just now trying to get up the willpower to start back up on my regimine. I am hoping to find some support and tools here to make some permanent changes in my life. I am here tonight because I usually eat around this time. I know that I am not hungry so I am doing this instead of eating. Maybe willpower can be found in doing things different and forming new, healthier habits over a lifetime. I hope you find your way.

Don't be discouraged.  It took a while to put the weight on and it is going to take a while to get it off.  

Work with your body....if your condition doesn't allow you to physically exercise at times.....just remember to eat extra careful on those days.

I have congestive heart failure....along with arthiritis....these two things limit me from being on a exercise program.

I walk every chance I get in doing house work.....at wal-mart.....to the car (rather than they bring the car to me), and do little 3 to 5 min. body movement exercises throughout the day.   Sometimes, I take 3 to 5 min. walks outside my home......not much....but at least it is something to help burn calories.

I have lost a total of 38 pounds since Jan. of this year.

Keep eating healthy at your calorie range...on those days of not feeling well.....but do more frequent body movements at home when possible (like light leg exercises in bed, dancing about in the house, arm movements...etc.)

Hang in there.....you are not a wimp....just have to work with your condition.

Thank you guys for the response!

Water exercise has been the best thing for me so far. Pilates is good also. I just have a hard time getting myself to get motivated to go to the gym. I took the arthritis water classes for awhile but they are too slow. The regular classes are too fast. So when I go, I usually just swim and do some other exercises on my own. As far as meeting a friend and doing this together, I don't know anyone who goes to my gym and it is rather difficult to find a workout partner that doesn't get frustrated when those days come up that I just can't go. Frankly, I have always preferred to workout on my own anyway, it's always been my time of relaxation and my time to focus on noone but me. One of my girlfriends might change to my gym when her membership runs out at the gym she goes to.

I've been trying to be a little more "brisk" when I'm doing things around the house and trying to walk more in general. Things like parking further away, etc.

I know once I get rolling I will be fine, the getting off track (as you mentioned) is so easy sometimes. I actually love to work out so I just need a kick in the ass to get myself into the routine.

United, where did you get your "meal plan"?

Hey Syn!  Where do you live?  You might even find someone on this site close enough to you to meet for some support.

For me, the trick to staying motivated is variety and indulgence.  There is no way, I would stick to a program if all I could eat were the same 5 things.  I'm constantly playing around with new ideas and having a great time doing it. 

The other part is the indulgence - I don't deny myself anything I want.  If I want chocolate - I eat it.  I plan ahead and work it into my allowance or I wait until the weekends (when I up my calories for metabolic increase).  Denying myself some of life's pleasures would derail my progress so quickly my head would spin!

Synergyrenewed-

I can relate to your problem.  I have myasthenia gravis, which is also a muscle weakness disease.  Some days it is extremely difficult to even get out of bed, let alone exercise.  I guess we just do the best we can!  If you need to talk with someone who can relate to what you're going through, give me a holler.

Cheatingirl

I think I could learn a lot about enjoying this process. I haven't gotten there yet. I'm pissed that I have gotten into the shape I'm in and have a hard time letting go of that. I KNOW that gets in my way. What do you mean "up my calories for metabolic increase"? Thanks for having the positive attitude!!! I will be working on how I can make this a fun thing instead of just one more thing I have to get through.

Leximunk

I know exactly what you mean. There are days when it's everything I can do just to stay awake much less anything else. Then when I get up and my knees buckle out from under me and I end up on the floor I get really discouraged. Ok, lets be honest, not discouraged, outright pissed that my body has betrayed me. I have ALWAYS been physically active and have always been a busy person. I think I'm still just trying to accept that I will either never be that person again or that I am going to have to work 3 times as hard to get there and that I have no control over when my body is going to decide it wants to be a pain (literally). I have never dealt with frustration very well. Do you have days when you just want to give up? If so, what do you tell yourself to keep going? I think if I could just get to where I can accept that this is what I'm dealing with then maybe I could be more productive.

I am new to this site so I don't know how to contact people directly. Is there an email type thing here?

I'm not really sure about the whole email thing, I'm new to this site too. :)  I know exactly what you mean about not having control over your body and just accepting that you'll never be the same.  It's an extremely difficult thing to do, and very emotional (and yes, I know about the anger).  In just the past few years that I've been dealing with this disease, I've completely changed.  I used to be outgoing and full of life, and now I'm pretty socially withdrawn.  Plus, I gained 60 pounds.  And hell yes, I feel like giving up all the time.  The thing that keeps me going is mainly my husband.  He is such a sweetheart and takes such good care of me.  I'm having surgery in June to hopefully alleviate some of my symptoms, and I'm graduating from college in a month, so I have those to look forward to.  I just take baby steps.  You seriously have to take it one day at a time.  My family (besides my husband) doesn't really understand how serious (and permanent) my situation is, so I've been looking all over the place in search of a support group of people in my similar situation.  It really helps when you can talk with someone who relates to what you're going through.  What keeps you going?     

Leximunk, email me at synergyrenewed@yahoo.com. I belong to a great group that you may be interested in joining. They have helped me immensely!!! Frankly, what keeps me going is my husband, kid and the group. I know I can't just stay down as long as I have any choice at all, even if I am just faking it I try to stay as positive as possible for my kid.

I have lost a few pounds and inches!! I am so excited to think that someday I may be able to go to "section #2" in my closet...lol.

Cheatingirl and united2gether, you inspired me. Instead of focusing so much on what I can and can't have, I chose the foods that I know are the worst and cut them out. Other than that I'm just making sure I don't eat a ton of anything and that I don't even start on something that I know I can't keep my hands out of. I don't tell myself that I absolutely cannot have anything. If I want it that bad then I eat it, but I do limit how much of certain things I can have. This idea also inspired me in other areas. Instead of concentrating so much on whether I can go to the gym or not, I'm doing a variety of things. I even went rollerskating last week...something I haven't done in years. I think I am going to start finding other activities that I enjoy also to mix things up a little. I get bored doing the same thing over and over and over and over...

Vendradi and betterbe, thank you for your encouragement!! Sometimes a little pat on the head and a "you can do it" is all that is needed. Funny how that works.

Any of you that would like to add me as a friend, please feel free.

you are not the only one. Technically there is nothing wrong with me and i just cant get motivated. i lost 20 kgs a few years back and looked pretty good and felt great. then my relationship broke up, job became unstable and the kids went  thru rebellious teenage years.
and i put it all back on.
lost my job and put on even more.
and what is worse i just dont seem to care. just cant put the effort into losing it again. i know what to do. i know what works.
just the feel good from a chocolate bar seems to feel better than the long term loosing weight goal.
sigh.
so i am achieving nothing except killing myself slowly which is not what i want to do.
so i am here.

time to stop feeling sorry for myself and do what i know i am supposed to. here goes.

dcrie, I'm trying really hard not to put a huge amount of pressure on myself but to at least do one thing a day. Some days all I manage is 10 minutes of something and others I do a lot more. I think that changing from the idea that I had to radically change my life to the idea that each and every thing I am doing will help no matter how big or small has made a huge difference to me.

hey i wasnt having a go at anyone or suggesting anything. I know the issues you face. i was commenting about my issues.

technically i dont have any real ones. i have a bad back and a dicky knee and a heel spur but none of them really stop me. i have no chronic anything.

just chronic "cant be bothered".

which i have at least tried to kick by being here! Never done this sort of thing before.

for you - hang in there. all it takes is one small step to start on a journey. its when we cant be bothered taking the small step is when it is very sad.

back in the deep dark ages when i got divorced i wrote myself out some goals - some were only tiny. some were so fantastically way out.

i found that piece of paper a few months ago. some of those that seemed so fantastically way out then i had done. But if you had said that i would achieve them back then i would have laughed. i couldnt do that!! but i did - granted it took me a few years

all starts with wanting to do something.

Dcrie, I didn't take it that way at all. I was hoping that I could encourage you by letting you know that even the small things count. Sometimes things just don't come out right in print..grin.

Exactly.

bottom line was i meant it is hard - it must be harder for someone with medical problems.

I have never done anything "public before" so this is a big step for me. And to see it all in print and pretty pictures! wow. Glad i came across this site. I was seriously considering the sureslim $900 plan thingy - but i really cant afford it. and it so annoys me to think i have to pay someone to help me do something i should be able to do -  particularily as i have done it in the past. I'm not dumb so why cant i seem to do it????

motivation. i think having it online - free - and others - might just do it. certainly better than paying someone a lot of money to tell me cut out the snacks, get more exercise and eat healthy.

the one thing i learned here in 1 day - why diets have failed for me in the past.

the activity vs food. i have used the old printed average. where everryone is about the same. what i didnt know what how many calories i actually did burn dragging my rather large butt for a walk every day. (mind the australianisms) I thought my daily activity would be in the 1000 to 2000 range - but no. double that!

So now i have a plan. eat more. sounds daft - but it should stop the every couple of days "binge" after being "good".

so in effect what i have been doing is cutting out calories by more than 15% and the body has responded by going into testosterone shutdown and in effect panic - which has resulted in the breakout after a few days. then the guilt and the "hate myself". so i hope i am over that.

just 1 little subscription to an internet site. so much self realisation. Now excuse me for a while as i get up to speed on this whole thing. as i said before such a newbie!!!!

I hope all that you want comes true - most importantly weighing what you want to.

I also started what I call my "new life" on March 20th. I too have had ups and downs. I started this needing to lose 122 lbs. I have lost 12 lbs so far. I have had days where I have cheated. I had a bad slip on Saturday.(I ate pizza). I fell off the horse on Saturday, but I got back on the horse on Sunday. I walked 2 miles Sunday morning and 2 miles that night. I didnt think that I would be able to get out and walk but I can. I still get out of breath but I am out there walking just about every morning.

I was very lucky to find this site and I have found that it really helps to have people to talk to that experience the same things that I do. We can do this together. Keep your chin up and remember if you fall off the horse that is okay, just get back up on it.

I found out a few things here too. It's been nice to be able to compare my fats/carbs/proteins so I can do better to keep the ratios decent. Watching the carbs go crazy every time I drank a pop really helped me to cut it waaaaaay down. I've been a 4 plus cans drinker forever...some days way more than that. I've only had 3 or so over the last week so I'm feeling pretty good about that.

Congrats on the 12 pounds Weezy!! That's awesome!

You all are welcome to add me as friends if you want. Motivation is my number 1 problem so I'll take all the friends on this journey I can get. At least ONE or more of us should be on the up end on any given day to kick those of us in the pants on our down days...grin.

Dear Syn, I too am what I call a "pepsi-holic". Before March 20th I was drinking 6-8 a day. That is alot of calories. The 1st day I cut back to only diet sodas and increased my water intake. As my water intake increased my need for my diet drinks decreased. I splurge occassionally and drink a diet soda, but not too often. I have found that you cant quit cold turkey. I tried it once and I got sick. I had massive headaches, the shakes and I also got physically sick. So, it is something that can be done. It just has to be gradual. I now drink between 6-8-10 bottles of water a day. It feels good to be Pepsi  free. I just seem in stay in the restroom though. Oh well.

I have added you to my friends list. Good Luck and lets keep in touch.

Ex-President of the Pepsi-holics club

  

Hi,

Back before 2000 i used to drink at least 2 litres of coke a day and had since i was a child. deffinitely addicted. such a lot of calories and caffeine. as a new years resolution i moved to diet pepsi and spent 5 years drinkiing that.

still a lot of caffeine. so last year i gave up caffeine pepsi and moved to caffeine free pepsi - yet i still had the cravings? couldnt go without the caffeine free pepsi for longer than a day. now that scared me. the aspartame in the stuff is not good. i had heard for ages about it and didnt want to listen. like it is more addictive than cigarettes. it also interferes with the natural serotonin level in your body - the feel good hormone. so at the begining of this year i gave that up toooooo.

when i gave up i had headaches, the grumps and cravings. but it can be done. if i can then anyone can. and yes i do feel better. and i do occassionally have a siip of the kids coke - and it doesnt trigger and all out relapse. But i stay away from aspartame

so now all i have to do is work on the diet.

i lie. just work on the comfort eating. the diet as such is not too bad - its the extras.

well after finding this place i am going to leave you for a few days. i am off with my family on a camping holiday into the outback of South Australia. Somehow i doubt that i will be losing weight when i am away but i will  be finding some motivation and some enthusiasm.

and most importantly. i used to say "i will do it when i am thinner" .

now i just do it. i dont need to be thinner or better - actually i am ok as i am - but i want to be healthier. healthier means to weigh less.

So have a lovely weekend everyone. think of me in tents with the bugs and two teenagers and the aussi outback.

:-)