Ladies, is this true?

I hope I do not sound vain in my question, but here goes...

Are women intimidated by women who are prettier than them? Do they tend to criticize them more? Are they less likely to become friends with a woman who is prettier than them?

I ask this because back in high school, I had mostly girl friends. But in my first year of college in Miami, I have noticed that not a lot of girls like to talk to me. The only girl friends that I really have are previous roommates that I have had, and they were pretty much forced to get to know me. Guys always talk to me and are more friendly to me than girls.

I know I am not ugly, but I do not think I am anything to be intimidated by. I am a very friendly person, especially when it comes to first impressions.

So am I just experiencing catty girls as they are growing up? Are girls really that insecure that they will say rude things to you when you are being friendly?

To me, it is about the attitude. yes, sometimes, I am intimidated by women who are prettier than me. simply, I think they are arrogant and not friendly so I tend to avoid them. ( I know it is not right but I am talking about my experience). I have never said anything rude to someone just because she/he is pretty. But if a pretty woman showed me a friendly attitude and good manners, I don't have any problems to be friends with her. 

so try to show them your friendly personality and let them know what a nice person you are. I am sure their attitude towards you will change. if it doesn't change, then this is their problem not yours. at least you tried. 

Good luck:)

I envy girls that are insanely pretty...but in no way am I mean to them. Unless someone gives me a reason to dislike them, I'm going to be nice. Being pretty certainly isn't a reason to dislike someone.

I have gorgeous friends! I swear the majority of them could be models. I base my friendships on personality and how well you can deal with my twisted sense of humor.

It could be an attitude you're giving off that you're not aware of? If you think you're prettier than these other girls, maybe they're picking up on that vibe?

...or maybe they're just catty?

if they are nice AND pretty, i like them. if they are mean & pretty or some personality defect i don't.

. then again i have a friend who has the best personality, even she said when she was overweight, girls tend to have some sort of complex. i don't know, she has the best smile i've ever seen, so i think some people may think the wrong thing about her smile, but she's the least harmful person i could ever know.

 It is my experience, that if people avoid you, no matter the sex of the individual it is because we are giving off a vibe that says "don't touch".  If you are self conscious you might not seem open to friendship with other women. 

There is a woman who works in my office and oh boy does she have it all.  She is stunning to look at, great figure, highly educated and on and on.  I think a lot of women could find a reason to not like her.  But she is so dang approachable and truly friendly and sincere that you can not help but like her.  Her inner personality outshines her gorgeous package.

Maybe you are not as friendly appearing as you think you are. 

women are just weird. I do my very best to be nice to everyone, and I would love to have a few girl friends to go shopping with and whatnot, but I still end up with mostly male friends. I think its just difficult to make friends with women. Most of the women I'm friends with are the same way, they just get along better with men. The women I know who have all female friends tend to be very femenine, and only seem to have romantic relationships with men. I think a lot of the women I know with mostly male friends have a few personality traits that can be seen as more masculine, like a sarcastic sense of humor. Men seem to like this in their friends, women not so much.

Just don't worry about it. Be yourself and you'll know that the friends you do have like you for who you are.

Original Post by madamq:

Maybe you are not as friendly appearing as you think you are. 

Answer: Both. True/False. It depends on the circumstances and people involved.

It's you. Or: It's the specific people that you're trying to befriend in this case. It's possible that regardless of your looks and/or friendly manner people may not like you. w/e. To each their own. There are plenty of nice and pretty women that are disliked by others though. Some people may dislike you for a completely different reason. The reality is that preference can expand far beyond that notion. Or: Even though they do not dislike you they don't actually like you either. Ooh well! w/e

Personally: I don't care if someone is pretty or ugly. It isn't a factor because people don't have to be attractive to be my friend. Beautiful...Ugly.. Blah.w/e

I'm generally a friendly person regardless of like/dislike. However: That doesn't necessarily mean we're friends. We don't have to be friends to be friendly,imho. :)

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." ~Kurt Cobain

There was a thread on here how someone Only preferred attractive friends a couple months back.
I know many people who are quite attractive and their freinds are not.

There are lots of people who go out with all semi attractive freinds too.

Guess it depends on the person(s) and situations.

I agree show whomever your personality and that your cool and then you tried.

ETA:  I am not intimidated by a very pretty thin woman (a bit jealous of the erfect body type.)  But if they are cool, it is all good.

to some extent, yes, i think that happens but i also think we tend to outgrow those mindsets. not all of us of course, but i think a lot of us move past that eventually. college is so different than high school, try not to compare them too much.

i always had more guy friends, but i grew up with all brothers and was always more comfortable around them. you dont have to phrase everything carefully and worry about hurting feelings. guys are just... less complicated. guy friends rock.

I am not mean to people I think are more attractive than I am. I just assume (because of past experiences) that they won't be the most friendly people so I tend to be a bit quiet-- but that's only the case when they're insanely gorgeous.

Original Post by octo-luv:

if they are nice AND pretty, i like them. if they are mean & pretty or some personality defect i don't.

. then again i have a friend who has the best personality, even she said when she was overweight, girls tend to have some sort of complex. i don't know, she has the best smile i've ever seen, so i think some people may think the wrong thing about her smile, but she's the least harmful person i could ever know.

octo, can't agree with you more! ... exactly how I feel... my cousins are in town and they are Gorgeous, I mean drop dead beautiful! we've been out all day and everywhere we have gone, people are like holy moley to them! I love them so it's not intimitading, we're all beautiful in one way or another, it's just about having the confidence to work your best assets.... when people tell me i'm 'pretty' whatever, I immediately think 'yea right, I look like man!' and they think I'm crazy, it's confidence, I have to work on it I know... okay Octo... drunk posting will happening in t-minus 20min.... haha :) xo

edit: OH and btw OP, GREAT topic!

I remember in college, a couple of things happening. 1- is that I had not learned what a healthy friendship was or established good boundaries.  My best friend in high school had been extremely moody, competitive, and insecure- so the first person I became friends with was also that way.  I am unsure if that was a type I was drawn to, or just circumstance, however either way it was a crappy friendship that I flushed within the first year.  After that I made several really amazing healthy friendships... all ladies.

2- is that there were several people who did try and reach out and be my friend, but honestly because of my self image of being socially awkward and just a general dork, I always turned them down thinking they were sympathy invites or insincere.  it wasn't until I talked to some of those people later that it turned out they felt sort of rejected by me.  Weird, I just never felt that special to make someone else feel rejected.  But that is warped self esteem for ya.

Honestly from your post I cant tell what end of the spectrum you may be on, whether others are intimidated by you, or you are just trying with the wrong people, or you are just a jerk and dont know it .  All things I guess only you can evaluate.

it is most deffinately true.

it's natural to feel inadequate/inferior to those who are better then us, but usually towards the qualities we deem most important... looks being one of them.

now if you strongly believed that mathimatical intellect was THE most important quality to have, and you met someone who was better at math then you were, I guarentee you would feel threatened by them and possibly project your inadiqueses upon them... ie pick them apart in attempts to make yourself feel better.

girls don't like other pretty girls because it makes them feel bad about themselves, just like how we dont like thinner girls, smarter girls, or wealthier girls... etc

even if they don't intentionally be "bitchy" towards us, we still seem to assume they are mean because we find it unfair that they make us think less of ourselves... and no one likes feeling like they arn't good enough

just show any insecure girl a Victorias Secret catalog and watch her pick apart the models: "she's not THAT pretty", "her boobs are fake", "she probably doesn't eat"...etc

Carmen,

I dont think that applies to all ladies.  I personally dont blame beautiful women for my insecurities.  I am beautiful, not model beautiful, but pretty all the same.  Just as almost all women are (the ones I am leaving out have more to do with the whole inner ugly coming out).  And I also dont consider looks to be "the most important" quality, by any stretch of the imagination.  There are plenty of beautiful girls that could almost blend together, it's things like personality, creativity, passion, intellegence, caring that make someone stand out. 

I say show an immature girl/woman a victoria secret and she will pick her apart.  Show it to a woman with some life experience and she's a hell of a lot less likely to blame all her insecurities on someone else.

I think its true to some extent, a lot of women can be really catty towards each other and it is just down to jealously at the end of the day.

For me I do get intimidated by pretty women but not in the way that would make me shun them or be nasty. More I look at them and think gosh I wish I was pretty like her, if she has a nice personality then Id definitely talk to her and be friends with her.

I was shy as a kid.  I wasn't part of the "IN Crowd" (cheerleaders, etc.) but had lots of friends.    I remember my mom saying to me "there is always going to be someone prettier,  uglier, smarter, dumber, taller, shorter, fatter, skinnier,  shyer, more outgoing.  You have to learn to like yourself as you are and be proud of yourself for all of your good qualities."  I think it still  holds true.   I was never intimidated by anyone again.  And I grew out of the shyness and became an extrovert.   

so not true no way!!! if you love those around you and they return the love nothing to fear, because then u knw they are worth your friendship and time!! being different is beautiful

I don't know, I think there is an argument to be made both ways. Women were less friendly with me when I was larger (everyone was less friendly, it was like they were afraid of catching obesity). If it were about competition, they should have been more friendly then, right? Women's reactions didn't change quite as much as men's, but it was in the same direction.

I do have friends who I think are prettier than me.  The people who I think are prettier than me who I have known for a long time don't intimidate me.. but people who I don't know very well who I think are prettier than me do intimidate me a lot.

Ah yeah, Id tend to agree, I feel pretty intimidated in the company of very attractive women, I wouldnt be catty towards them, but maybe shyer, I think Im getting better with it though.

Well, considering you're on a college campus, people may be trying to make snap judgments about you based on what they knew in high school.  Maybe they're thinking, "She's pretty, she was probably a preppy snob," or, "she's pretty, maybe she's a jerk because she's had it easy her whole life."  People make lots of silly generalizations.  Despite knowing better, I often used to think that a certain type of attractiveness indicated stupidity.

If girls are intimidated by you, it's a reflection on them, not you.