i think my landlady is a retard.

she`s a very nice lady, and very easy to deal with, but she`s either so distracted that she can`t process the written word (menopause maybe; she`s about the right age) or she`s just a moron.

she has told me repeatedly that the best way to communicate is via email.  cool, works for me.  but she regularly ignores, misunderstands, or just doesn`t get stuff.  she doesn`t answer questions, and she doesn`t know things that i`ve told her clearly (and sometimes repeatedly).

this morning i emailed her to ask if she could hold my rent cheque until the first friday of the month, july 3, as that`s when payroll is deposited.  i asked her to do this for the next two months; after that, i think i`ll have enough in reserve to cover the rent on the first, regardless of when payday falls.

that`s clear enough, isn`t itÉ (sorry. my question mark has gone berserk again). 

so i get home from my walk and picking up a few things and get her response: she thinks iève (my appostrophe has gone berserk, too) asked her to hold july and augustès cheques until september.  not only that, sheès going to think about it until monday.

christ on a cross.  what a friggen moron.

although it does explain the problems with the water

Original Post by pgeorgian:

don't be mean to mexico.  that's like picking on the poor kid in the hand-me-down clothes.

 Instead they're the poor kid with the hand-me-down poop hole.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

it's below the waist, slightly posterior.  oh - and it's an orifice (also an appropriate moniker for many of your--um--deciders).

 hey now!  Cant we at least be something like the beer belly?  You know, for over-indulgence.

Mexico can remain our hemorrhoid, though.  I don't have any objections to that.

Original Post by peaches0405:

Original Post by pgeorgian:

it's below the waist, slightly posterior.  oh - and it's an orifice (also an appropriate moniker for many of your--um--deciders).

 hey now!  Cant we at least be something like the beer belly?  You know, for over-indulgence.

Mexico can remain our hemorrhoid, though.  I don't have any objections to that.

 No no no peaches. We're canada's brass roll and mexico is our brass roll so that makes mexico canada's hemmorrhoid.

you can have the overindulgent beer belly if mexico gets something good.  like the muscular thighs.

and if mexico is the thighs, then obviously canada is the brains.  it's a question of scale....

Poor Florida.  America's hand is all the way up in Michigan.  No wonder you're blue.

Original Post by moonikins:

Original Post by peaches0405:

Original Post by pgeorgian:

it's below the waist, slightly posterior.  oh - and it's an orifice (also an appropriate moniker for many of your--um--deciders).

 hey now!  Cant we at least be something like the beer belly?  You know, for over-indulgence.

Mexico can remain our hemorrhoid, though.  I don't have any objections to that.

 No no no peaches. We're canada's brass roll and mexico is our brass roll so that makes mexico canada's hemmorrhoid.

 Oh, it's all so confusing......Just as long as Canada isn't the brains of the whole operation, I'm cool with that. 

Original Post by peaches0405:

Original Post by moonikins:

Original Post by peaches0405:

Original Post by pgeorgian:

it's below the waist, slightly posterior.  oh - and it's an orifice (also an appropriate moniker for many of your--um--deciders).

 hey now!  Cant we at least be something like the beer belly?  You know, for over-indulgence.

Mexico can remain our hemorrhoid, though.  I don't have any objections to that.

 No no no peaches. We're canada's brass roll and mexico is our brass roll so that makes mexico canada's hemmorrhoid.

 Oh, it's all so confusing......Just as long as Canada isn't the brains of the whole operation, I'm cool with that. 

 Canadians think they're the brains of the whole operation.  Its okay, we let them have their dreams.

we're not the brains of the whole operation; in order for that to be true, the rest of the operation would have to be smart enough to listen. 

at the reunion, we're the family member who stays out of the argument, avoids the food fight, then cleans up the mess after everyone else has gone to bed.  there's no point trying to have a rational conversation in this bunch.

I hate that word

and using smiley faces to portray how I feel.

But, I can have a rational conversation at brunch.

Original Post by pavlovcat:

Poor Florida.  America's hand is all the way up in Michigan.  No wonder you're blue.

 And it's thumbing it's nose at canada.

Original Post by moonikins:

But, I can have a rational conversation at brunch.

hungry, mooni?

Original Post by moonikins:

But, I can have a rational conversation at brunch.

 define "rational"

define hungry

Yeah, I'm hungry. The roid slipped me some wacky weed.

Please pass the potatoes. Make sure they're from idaho.

Original Post by moonikins:

Yeah, I'm hungry. The roid slipped me some wacky weed.

Please pass the potatoes. Make sure they're from idaho.

 wait. what? wait!

Just as long as the cheese is from Wisconsin and the BBQ is from Kansas City...

The lobsters have to come from maine and I want my southwest cuisine to actually come from the southwest.

If anybody wants, I can get them some lutefisk or tator tot hotdish.