No Lasting Fullness After Meals...Solution?

Little background: I restricted my calories for about 1.5 years (bad mistake) and lost about 15-20 pounds from it, in addition to screwing up hunger and fullness signals.  Gained most of it back steadily in the form of muscle in the past 3-4 months [and my strength has skyrocketed], which now puts me at 5'9 and approximately 140 (a healthy weight).   My only issue is that these days, despite the fact that I'm eating somewhere around 2400-3000 calories a day (and lifting four days a week), I rarely feel that sense of lasting fullness after my meals. 

I stop eating when my stomach starts to hurt [usually around 700-900 calories per meal, 3 meals per day], but what's odd is that I can eat again 30 minutes later if I want to.   No, not because I'm hungry, but rather because I'm this gray zone of not really knowing whether it's time to eat [not full, but not hungry either].    What's interesting is that I've noticed that after meals containing 20 or more grams of fat (more than what I'd typically eat), I sometimes feel that fullness signal hit me but it comes around 2-3 hours after the meal!  When I do experiene this fullness, I usually also get a strong hunger signal a few hours later as well.  When I don't feel full after other meals, I don't feel hunger later either.  Strange, I know.. It's like they go hand in hand.

I probably eat around 45-55 grams of fat on most days, but my question is this: how do I know if this overall lack of lasting fullness is due to insufficient calories or insufficient fat?  I'm thinking of possibly lowering my carbs a bit and upping the fat [keeping total calories around the same] if it will mean feeling fuller for longer.  Let me know what ya'll think ;-)

Tips to increase the satiety of a meal...

• Choose wholegrains and other complex carbohydrates rather than refined carbohydrates, sugars, starches and other heavily processed foods.  This is for the fibre content and also to keep blood-sugars more stable
• Get a portion of protein (animal or vegetable) at each meal... eggs, nuts, meat, fish, dairy, tofu, beans, lentils etc.
• Get 25-30% of your calories from fat..... In your case that should be at least 600-700 cals or roughly 75g-90g fat.
• Eat in a separate location to other activities.  Being distracted when eating can make it feel like you've eaten nothing
• Eat with others rather than alone.
• Eat/snack regularly.  A light meal and a reasonable sized snack every 2 or 3 hours.   This is another way to stabilise blood-sugars.  Large, infrequent meals spike blood-sugars too severely.
• Eat hot rather than cold foods
• Sip liquids during meals
• Eat slowly... put the knife and fork down between mouthfuls
• Make sure you're eating enough food (sufficient calories) in total

I think the two points I've highlighted are where your problem lies.  Heavy, infrequent meals that are too heavily loaded on carbohydrates are probably causing you a blood-sugar surge .... the crash an hour or two later is typical.  Some call it 'Chinese Restaurant Effect'... eating a heavy meal of starch and then feeling hungry quite quickly afterwards.

I think the suggestions from Jane are great but i would concentrate on this one:

"Get a portion of protein (animal or vegetable) at each meal... eggs, nuts, meat, fish, dairy, tofu, beans, lentils etc." 

I think your looking too closely at the fat.  Ive been cutting carbs from 50% down to 40% roughly, and concentraing on getting protein every 4-5 hrs, as well as making sure I'm getting two servings of friut (at least) every day

The blood sugar thing is important and has helped me a lot.  Only eating three meals didn't work for me.  I try for 400-500 cals per meal and eat 4-6 meals/day, and I feel much more satisfied.