When is it too late to have a baby?

Hi,
I just had a talk with my mother regarding having a child. I am 26 and my husband is 35... I want a child but I think right now I am not where I want to be careerwise...Maybe in a year or two, I will be ready. My husband is OK with it but she thinks that it is not fair to him that I am "denying him a child"... and that after sometime he would not want to have one at all. My mother is very conservative and you can imagine that the phone call did not go very well. With my approaching TOM, I was not very civil to her , to say the least.

Eventhough I want to forget about her comments, I still wonder if it is true...
What do you guys think?

I think the best time to have a baby is when you are ready to. It will be a lot better if you are happy thoughout your pregnancy instead of feeling you were rushed into it.

If YOU are not ready to have children yet then don't.  Having a child to please your husband or your mother or anyone else is, imho, a bad idea. 

The only thing I have ever heard about waiting too long, is that after the woman is over the age of 35, 1 of every 100 babies will be born with Downs Syndrome.  You're still young enough that you shouldn't worry... and even after 35 it's not a gauranteed thing. 

That's just what I have heard, so I do hope this helps some. 

I say, do it whenever you are ready.  It's a big decision so don't listen to anyone else but YOU and your hubby.  I think you'll probably know when you are ready. 

Best of luck!

Do you trust your husband when he says he's okay with it?  Does he think you're being unfair?

Unless your mom is a mind reader, you and your husband have a better idea of what you are ready for and what you want.

Wait until you're ready - you and your family will be better off.

You are still young you shouldn't worry about it too much and as far as HIM being too old that will never be a problem cuz guys can have kids whenever they want!! To be honest, and I hope not to offend you, but it seems your mom is being a tad bit selfish.

they wouldnt be the ones pregneat for 9 months...they wouldnt be gaining weight...morning sickness...aches and pains...bloating...you need to be ready, they can want you to all they want but they need to understand that they have to wait for you to be ready.

I believe after age 35 is considered higher risk

but personally, I would not want to be a new parent after the age of 40

I wouldn't want to be about to retire at the kid's h.s. graduation

but that's just me

i know plenty of people who've had kids in their 40s and all is well with them

what does your heart tell you?

hey dont worry about it my brother in law waas 43 when he became a first time dad and my husband was 36 and 38 when we had our last two so hey when you as a couple are ready then try... but remember this what need to be first in your life career or kids????? just something to think about :)

Here is my two cents - I had my only child when I was 33.  I wanted more kids but it never did happen and I believe my age contributed to the problem.  Before I had a kid I THOUGHT the most important thing was to get my career going etc., but alas, hindsight is 20-20.  I should have had the kids first and the career would have taken care of itself.  I like my career but I am so thankful to have my son - he has brought alot of joy to my life that the career never has.  I am happy that most of his grandparents have lived long enough to enjoy him too.  Maybe your mom wants grandchildren and is afraid of not being here if you wait until later.

I had both of my children after 36 and both are extremly healthy and intelligent.  This wasn't a choice, I just didn't get pregnant before then.  I have to say though that I would not have been the same mother at a younger age.  I was very self involved and probably would not have been able to give them all of the attention they needed and certainly wouldn't have made the sacrifices I can make at this age.  I really think the wait is worth it on one hand, and yet, I wish I was younger because I want to live to see their children and that is why I go to the gym everyday to stay healthy and live as long as I can. 

You're only 26, so you've got plenty of time!!!  You're not "denying" your husband anything by waiting a couple of years. Don't worry so much and don't listen to your mother, because she's not the one who will be raising your child, YOU WILL.  I had my son at 26, and although there are definite advantages to being a "young" mom, sometimes I wish that I had waited for a few more years so that I could have enjoyed spending more quality time with my husband.  Once children come into the picture, your relationship with your husband will change forever (not necessarily in a BAD way, but it does change because it's not just about the two of you anymore).  My advice to you is to wait until YOUR desire to have a child truly starts tugging at you.  Trust me, when you're ready, you'll know it.  Deciding to have a baby is one of the most monumental decisions you will ever make in your entire life, so don't make your decision based on someone else's desires or time constraints.  This decision will affect you PERMANENTLY, so do yourself a favor and listen to your heart, not your mother.

you and your husband should have a baby when the two of you dicide to not when you mother or anyone else tells you to.

I had my first at 32 and when I became pregnant with my second, at 40, my mother inlaw thought that was horrible.  I wouldn't change anything, not for the world!  She hasn't had much of a relationship with him, infact it has strained family ties with her.  But, I choose him over her anyday.  He is the most loving and wonderful child.  He is so sweet and so kind. 

So my advice is follow you own heart.

Thank you for all your comments!
Yesterday I talked to my husband about it and he said that we still have time and we should have some sort of financial security before taking that step... I am so glad he thinks like that as well.  I think having a child is such an important decision that you should consider all things before going that way.

Thank you again.