What have you learned from being overweight? The silver lining.

Being obese/overweight is hard sometimes, especially considering that it's on a pretty low rung of social acceptability, and many people who have lost weight seem to view their fattest as a 'bad time' in their life. But I've always been taught that difficulty brings lessons, unexpected perks, and strength. So what do you feel you have learned, appreciate, or think, that maybe you wouldn't had you not been overweight?

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way implying that overweight people are smarter than anyone else, nor am I assuming that being overweight is in any way more difficult than being underweight, normal weight, or anything really. The narrow focus of this question is in no way based on any judgement, but on my personal experience being overweight and lessons that may be specific to that particular condition. I am not suggesting that those who have never been overweight don't have reasonable jewels of wisdom they have learned throughout life, and if you feel those should be aired, feel free to start a different topic about them. If you're considering replying to state an offense or unhappiness with any implied insult, judgement, or lack of sensitivity you find in this topic, take a deep breath, go ahead and assume i didn't mean it that way, and direct your browser elsewhere.

As for mine:
- I now know what it feels like to be the odd man out and I always make an extra effort to include the person hanging back (for whatever reason)
- Do you know how many calories I can eat and still lose weight? It's fantastic.
- I learned that body image and weight are not always related. My body image is better now (at a sz 20) that it was when I was a sz 9. Learning to focus on self-image as a seperate problem, and overcoming it, has taken me leaps and bounds ahead in my ability to maintain and enjoy a healthy lifestyle.
- I am much more sympathetic to people who have difficulties they feel they can't control or 'don't know how' they got into it, whether it be drugs, bad relationships, low self-esteem, whatever. I used to see morbidly obese people and think 'how could you let yourself go THAT MUCH?' (I apologize retrospectively, to the whole world.) Now I know. It just happens, and you wake up one day at 250 lbs, and it doesn't mean anything about you as a person that it snuck up on you.
- I learned that people can change for the better, and people who think otherwise are probably not going to enjoy my company.

Would love to hear yours!

I can't take as much of a positive outlook - different worlds, I guess. I'm a pessimist by nature.

Things I've learned:

-The general irrationality of typical human behavior. (I want B. I have to do A to get B. I want B more than I want to not do A, but I'll do A anyway because I'm sad right now.) This has many other applications, such as in academic goals, monetary goals, work goals, relationship goals, etc. And I'm not exempt from it; but it does annoy me.

-The level of indulgence it takes for a typical person to become overweight. I'm amazed I let myself get overweight given the relative ease of maintenance when you've never been overweight in the first place. Then again, I was 10 years old; not very good at restraining myself.

-The amazing level of preventability of most diseases that masses of people die from every year.

-The astounding depth of human vanity, and the astounding powers that simple pleasures (Sex, taste, stimulation ie drugs/alcohol, wealth/power) have over most peoples' lives.

On a less cynical note:

-How to estimate calories in pretty much anything I see to good accuracy.

-Lots of info about nutrition, how the body works, how fat storage/loss works, etc.

-Lots of info about exercise and its effects on the body.

-Lots of info about health in general.

And so on

Like ibez, I'm not much of a "Suzy Sunshine," but even so I know that being obese for over half my life has definitely shaped the person I am - and not just physically. ;-)

I definitely agree with minda_spk that body image and weight are not necessarily related.  I feel more confident in myself right now, still with over 80lbs to goal, than I did as a young woman when I was a more "normal" size.

I learned that I don't have to be perfect to be happy - a tough one since this includes not having to be skinny which my plus size self often equates with happiness.

I learned (although some days it's still a struggle) that self-confidence and a positive self image come from inside of you, not outside (as in others).

I learned that people treat you differently more often because of your attitude than your size.

First some background on me: I was almost always overweight. Chubby kid, chubby teen, chubby adult. There was a brief period where my BMI wasn't  considered overweight, but then the guidelines changed and I was overweight again. With that in mind:

• I realized that I had far more important things to do than feel bad about myself. There are plenty of people out there who will put you down, and they don't need any help.

• I learned to "fake it 'til you make it." If you don't feel good about your appearance, dress and act like you do anyway. The confidence should follow.

• I learned that confidence and a killer sense of humor can make up for some extra blubber any day. Many people are less shallow than you think they are. The ones that really are that shallow should generally be ignored.

• I learned that physical fitness and healthy eating are excellent goals in their own right, even if you don't lose a single pound. Getting in shape will make you feel better, stronger, and sexier. Knowing that you can run 5k makes coping with obesity a whole lot easier.

• On the negative side, I learned a whole lot of excuses for why I couldn't lose weight. I was happy the way I was, eating right, and in good shape. What I didn't realize was that I was just eating too much. Counting calories has been invaluable to me, and the only thing that has ever worked. I no longer have excuses, and I don't need them anymore either. Go CC!

I am learning (can't say learned, since I am still obese):

• That taking control of my diet/lifestyle is incredibly narcissistic -- that is to say, fascinating to me, boring to others.  That is one of the great things about the CC community, we can all obsess together.

• That ignoring the scale for 25 years was an incredibly bad idea.

• That all-or-nothing thinking is very common in obese people, and obvious in that everyone can see how fat we are, but not limited to weight control.  I see my normal weight friends struggle with it in other areas of their life (relationships most commonly) just as much as I do.

I've learned:

• I have had body issues all my life.  When I was 120 pounds in high school I thought I was fat. 
• I had bigger issues to deal with than just being overweight. 
• The mental part of losing weight and realizing why I had let myself go was much more difficult than the physical part of diet and exercise.

Happily I think I have overcome those obstacles and hope to live the remainder of my life in a healthy way.  Wish me luck!

I have learned:

I am not alone in my struggles with weight and body issues. Other people are more like me than unlike me, even the skinny ones ;).

Empathy. A little sensitivity and kindness goes a long way. I'd never make a denigrating remark about someone's body or clothing or anything within their earshot, because I know how much it can hurt.

Hope. For so long I felt so hopeless, and could not have advised anyone about hope. Now I realize if there is hope for me, which I KNOW there is, there is hope for everyone.

Body image for me too...20 years ago I had no idea how great I looked and hated myself and my body. If I ever get even close to that size again, you can bet I will have a lot more appreciation for my body - I already do.

Having been obese since elementary school, the biggest thing that I have learned/am still learning is that life goes on whether you're obese or not.  Feeling bad, hating yourself, isolating yourself, and not living your life are not RATIONAL responses to anything, including body issues.   I have spent many years doing all the things I listed above thinking that it would somehow protect me and make me happier.   Instead, all those things have just made me feel that much more behind in life.   I'm definately being more brave now and realizing that you can't put life on hold because you have some problems to work out.   Its a big revelation for me and it requires a lot of courage, but my life is just getting better and better with each step I take.

OH, I love your disclaimer!

Having struggled with fitness my entire life, now at 32, I have these things to impart:

• A thick layer of fat does not necessarily imply that the person wearing it is not physically fit.  Some of these "fat" people can run longer or lift heavier than "skinny" people.
• There are many causes for obesity, not just laziness or lack of self-control.
• There is more to losing weight than - "Eat less, exercise more".  New patterns of thought have to be developed, old habits overcome, and relatives/friends to resist.
• I've learned that a fat smiling person does better than a fat frowning one.
• There is absolutely no way you can stuff me in a box - literally and figuratively!

And most importantly, I've learned just how much strength I have inside myself.

mostly i learned that i didn't want to be overweight.

I'm about as optimistic of a guy that you will ever come across.  That said, I don't think I've learned a whole heck of a lot from being overweight, but I'll give it a try:

1) I've learned that I am not comfortable being as big as I am.

2) But I'd much rather be this big and physically active than be my ideal weight and a slug on the couch.

3) I've learned I made some extremely poor diet choices in my past, but I've learned to overcome that.  Time will tell if I've learned to keep it up until I reach my goal weight.

4) I've lost a lot of weight in the past, but I've always gained it back after reaching one of those dreaded plateaus.  I think I've learned how to overcome that now.  Time will tell here.

5) I've learned a whole lot more about nutrition and exercise than I ever would have had I not been overweight.

6) I've learned that a healthy diet really helps improve memory and learning capacity.

7) I've learned that I've learned a lot more than I thought I did.

Again, I'm one of those adults who has been overweight since childhood and still have 100 give or take pounds to lose

• I've learned to love my body/embrace it, no matter what my body size is
• I've learned no matter what size society or doctors say my body should be. I'm the one who has to live in this skin, so I should be the only one happy with it, and I am ;O)

I have learned that I have received the benefit of poor pricing scales in that a XXL shirt often costs the same as a small, so I am receiving more cloth for my dollar technically.  I have been sticking it to the man my whole life...

Though I have 50lbs to go the first 5 has taught me what will be the greatest lesson of this journey.

• I learned that weight is not always an isolated problem
• A friendly attitude is worth more than your weight in gold
• To circumvent my fat with a very witty humor and charm
• People can see past body size and find the person underneath
• I've definitely gotten stronger as an overweight person

Probably the most important thing I'm learning is how to love the person who is under all this blubber. Weight, for me, was just a symptom of a much deeper problem. Losing weight has, in a way, started me on the road to deal with issues that make me not like who I am. In the end, I am truly just learning to love the REAL me.

Original Post by jigglethehandle:

I have learned that I have received the benefit of poor pricing scales in that a XXL shirt often costs the same as a small, so I am receiving more cloth for my dollar technically.  I have been sticking it to the man my whole life...

 

Does it mean I'm a business nerd if I LOLed at this?

Original Post by theholla:

• I learned that confidence and a killer sense of humor can make up for some extra blubber any day. Many people are less shallow than you think they are. The ones that really are that shallow should generally be ignored.

• I learned that physical fitness and healthy eating are excellent goals in their own right, even if you don't lose a single pound. Getting in shape will make you feel better, stronger, and sexier. Knowing that you can run 5k makes coping with obesity a whole lot easier.

 

 Awesome. I totally agree.

I'd say I've also learned:

From looking at pictures of myself from 4-5 years ago, that when I'm 150lb, I'm not fat.

That it's a lot easier to accidentally end up obese than I ever would've thought when I used to think negative, terrible crap like, "How could they let themselves get that way?"

My weight doesn't limit me physically nearly as much as it does mentally. Once I stopped thinking, "I'm too fat to (insert any physical activity here)," I realized that as a fat girl I can do side planks. I can run.

And with the mental limitation out the window, I've now learned that exercising makes me feel sexy. And just all-around happy and healthy. Even still being over 200lb.

One last thing: I've finally learned to pay attention to what my body is telling me. Small, simple, but very important things - when I'm still keeping a good pace after 10 minutes of jogging, when something starts hurting after 15 minutes =), how individual foods make me feel - this is opposed to before when I would just stuff myself silly, feel like crap, and lay on the couch whining about my fatness.

Thanks for starting this post Minda.

excellent idea to start this. i am on my way off the coputer now but shall as some insights later on - in general, i have learned a lot of things big and small both about health and about people:)

I've learned that the carbs that I consumed led to my overweight-ness.

My entire diet before was nothing but carbs.

Cereal, bagels, pancakes for breakfast. Sandwiches, mac and cheese, breadsticks for lunch, snacks were a handful of granola bars and fruit snacks. Dinner was the only meal I had any protein or veggies in it.

And I never got full enough to stop eating. So I just kept eating.

I rarely eat much carbs anymore, and frankly, they don't do it for me anymore.

And I also learned how to read labels and know that they're lying like dogs. With my digital scale I have found that there is an average of 2 grams HEAVIER than what the serving size says.

IE: Nilla reduced fat wafers are 130 calories per 30g (7 wafers). I weighed them out, and I found they actually weigh 32 g. 7 wafers weigh 32 g. NOT 30 g. So, we're actually consuming MORE calories per serving than what they say on the box.

And since I'm a math whiz, I figured out a conversion from grams to calories.

Take the Nilla wafers for example. There's 30 grams for every 130 calories, so how many calories are we actually eating?

32 grams / 30 grams = 1.0666666666 servings

Now multiply that number by 130.

1.06666666666 x 130 = 138.66666666666

So, we're actually consuming 138.66666 calories instead of 130. x3

And it works in reverse, also. I use this when I want to figure out how much ice cream I can have to get to my calories for the day. x3

So the conversion is this:

Grams you have / grams on box X calories on box = Calories you have.

Or

Calories you have (in my case, the calories I haven't eaten) / calories on box X grams on box = Grams you can eat. x3

YAY MATH!

(I'mnotamathdorkwhatareyoutalkingabout!xDDD)

Yeah, that's what I've learned.

the disclaimer is fabulous!

I learned that the finger of "why I am fat" points to me and my response to stressors and that the response is not abnormal nor does it make me a bad person. In fact I am quite normal.

I learned that highly fatted food fakes it like a call girl draped on a street corner, but that highly flavored healthy food is wonderful and fulfilling.

I learned that I am me, I am not my weight.

I learned patience and that living is a journey.

I learned that nutrition facts are my friend and not just for counting calories.

I learned that a nice looking belly button can get big and ugly looking.  I never knew belly buttons changed and it really bothered me looking big and sloppy.
I learned the extra weight was really uncomfortable and that it is worth it to be more active!

Original Post by sfredbull:

I learned that a nice looking belly button can get big and ugly looking.  I never knew belly buttons changed and it really bothered me looking big and sloppy.
I learned the extra weight was really uncomfortable and that it is worth it to be more active!

 Another about belly buttons: I learned I could lose mine. Hey, where'd it go?! =)