What have you learned from being overweight? The silver lining.

Being obese/overweight is hard sometimes, especially considering that it's on a pretty low rung of social acceptability, and many people who have lost weight seem to view their fattest as a 'bad time' in their life. But I've always been taught that difficulty brings lessons, unexpected perks, and strength. So what do you feel you have learned, appreciate, or think, that maybe you wouldn't had you not been overweight?

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way implying that overweight people are smarter than anyone else, nor am I assuming that being overweight is in any way more difficult than being underweight, normal weight, or anything really. The narrow focus of this question is in no way based on any judgement, but on my personal experience being overweight and lessons that may be specific to that particular condition. I am not suggesting that those who have never been overweight don't have reasonable jewels of wisdom they have learned throughout life, and if you feel those should be aired, feel free to start a different topic about them. If you're considering replying to state an offense or unhappiness with any implied insult, judgement, or lack of sensitivity you find in this topic, take a deep breath, go ahead and assume i didn't mean it that way, and direct your browser elsewhere.

As for mine:
- I now know what it feels like to be the odd man out and I always make an extra effort to include the person hanging back (for whatever reason)
- Do you know how many calories I can eat and still lose weight? It's fantastic.
- I learned that body image and weight are not always related. My body image is better now (at a sz 20) that it was when I was a sz 9. Learning to focus on self-image as a seperate problem, and overcoming it, has taken me leaps and bounds ahead in my ability to maintain and enjoy a healthy lifestyle.
- I am much more sympathetic to people who have difficulties they feel they can't control or 'don't know how' they got into it, whether it be drugs, bad relationships, low self-esteem, whatever. I used to see morbidly obese people and think 'how could you let yourself go THAT MUCH?' (I apologize retrospectively, to the whole world.) Now I know. It just happens, and you wake up one day at 250 lbs, and it doesn't mean anything about you as a person that it snuck up on you.
- I learned that people can change for the better, and people who think otherwise are probably not going to enjoy my company.

Would love to hear yours!

• I've learned that I have to actively live my life.  I can't let it live itself for me.  My New Year's resolution this year, for once, was not about losing weight.  It was to make choices that I can be proud of.  I am insanely proud of how I've taken control of my weight and my health in the last 5 months.  I still have a ways to go, but for once in my life I know that what I'm doing is going to get me to my goal.  Hopefully, I can carry this over into other areas of my life.  I'm working on that.
• Having been overweight my whole life and fighting it for nearly 2 decades, I've learned a hell of a lot about health, nutrition, and weight control.  At age 32, I feel like I've finally got a handle on it, and I'm grateful that I'm not going to be one of the many people I know who have never had to worry about their weight or what they eat to stay thin, but then hit their 40s, start gaining weight, and have no idea what to do about it.
• Let me preface this by saying that my mother is the most unselfish and caring person that I know.  However, she is overweight and has terrible eating habits.  I learned things like eating straight out of the package from her.  When I was a kid, my parents didn't encourage me to participate in sports or to stay active.  When my mother wanted to lose weight when I was 11, she went on Medifast instead of turning to healthy eating habits and excercise.  When I was 13, my mother sent me to Jenny Craig to lose weight.  When I have kids, I will be armed with healthy eating habits and an active lifestyle, not to mention a kitchen full of healthy food.  The cycle ends here.

"Let me preface this by saying that my mother is the most unselfish and caring person that I know.  However, she is overweight and has terrible eating habits.  I learned things like eating straight out of the package from her.  When I was a kid, my parents didn't encourage me to participate in sports or to stay active.  When my mother wanted to lose weight when I was 11, she went on Medifast instead of turning to healthy eating habits and excercise.  When I was 13, my mother sent me to Jenny Craig to lose weight.  When I have kids, I will be armed with healthy eating habits and an active lifestyle, not to mention a kitchen full of healthy food.  The cycle ends here." 

dolphinclick: This is the best articulation of how I feel - my mom has been overweight my entire life (not really her entire life, she had a high risk pregnancy, never lost the baby weight, and just kept gaining) and every since I can remember it's been a series of slim fast and weight loss "gimmicks". There was a point when I was 15 when she went on atkins. She lost 30 pounds that she gained back. And I gained about 20 pounds because I didn't cut carbs but enjoyed all the bacon on EVERYTHING she was making!

I feel thankful that I have been overweight in my life, that I don't just miraculously maintain my weight (I work at it), and that I have been forced to adopt a HEALTHY lifestyle at the age of 16. Even if I'm "off" and gaining weight like first semester of college - I still eat healthy, just too much. I don't think I'll ever lose my healthy habits

One thing I'm really grateful for is that I met my husband when I was overweight. I mean, it's kinda like those old men who have billions of dollars and go, "I know I can trust my wife because she married me before I made all my money."

I know that my husband loves me for who I am, and not what I look like. That was a hard lesson to learn, because, to some extent, I think every woman wants their significant other to think that they are G-d's gift to Sexiness. And it was hard for me to hear from my husband that I am not his ideal body type.

But now, as I'm losing weight and getting slim and fit, it's a pleasure to do it because I can be doing it for myself, and for my husband. I'm starting to like the way I look in the mirror, and it's kind of a gift to my husband, in a way, for him to like what he sees in a sexual way.

Sort of a, "Thank you for loving me for me, even though I was a lardbutt. I will proceed to get super hot for you now."

Ultimately, I will always know that my husband will love me no matter what I look like, no matter what I wear, whether I wear make-up or don't, whether I wear high heels or don't, whether I carry a designer bag or don't. He loves me for the person I am, and the slim fit body that's in the making is just icing on the cake. :)

xo ari

I have learnt that being fat hurts, mentally, physically and most important emotionally...

I have learnt that boredom does not mean food.

I have learnt that weight loss & living healthy is not a one night stand, its like marriage.... u need to stick with it even after the honeymoon period is over ( i.e. even after u lose all those extra pounds)

Original Post by dolphinclick:

• I've learned that I have to actively live my life.  I can't let it live itself for me. 

this is a very thoughful post, thanks!

Okay this forum is making me cry.  I received three messages on my Facebook in the past week about how I have inspired different people in my life to exercise and eat right.  It's amazing how I was over 300 pounds at this time last year and I am an inspiration to friends/family this year.  I have always loved myself, but I didn't love myself enough to make the changes because they weren't "painless."

Example, it takes some effort to go exercise instead of lounging on the couch in my jammies.

Like another poster said, I've realized what a wonderful husband I have.  As I look back at pictures of me over 300 pounds, I am amazed that he was even attracted to me.  He has never made any negative comments about my weight and he has been a constant supporter and I make positive changes.

As I close in on 100 pounds lost, (God-willing by the end of the month), I appreciate what led me to Calorie Count, because this site has changed me for the better.

I've learned that although there are horrible people in this world there are actually people that exist in this world that doesn't care how you look and sees what you really are inside.

I learned that losing weight has it's downfalls like having to buy new clothes cause the ones you were wearing before now fall off even with a belt holding it up.

Wow, where to start!! lol

Well, these are the few things I can think of off the top of my head right now... I'm sure I'll think up a few more by tomorrow though but here gooes:

* I've learned (form myself and the stories of others) that there is almost always more to being overweight than just having "big appetite" (excuse the spelling) or being "glutinous"as many people I know seem to think. It's almost always a case of someone coping with or compensating for something.

* I've learned that while my weight may have alot to do with my low self esteem, my mind is an even bigger culprit.

* I've learned to be more sensitive to others, I repremand my friends who make rude comments about people within their earshot with a zest I can't gaurantee I would have had if I did not face the same discrimination myself. I's also (as someone above me stated) more sensitive to "the odd man out" because I am often one myself.

* I've learned that yes, the world can be pretty superficial. HOWEVER, I have also had enough experience and thus refelection with this particualr topic to realize that those who make it that way are not worth the time or the worry. The ones who are worth it will treat you no differently whether you are a size 20 or a size 2.

*I've learned that life does not stop because you have decided to put it on hold until you lose that weight. It passes you by.

*I've learned a GREAT deal about general health and nutrition and in a way, like may above me have said, I am a bit thankful that I have been overweight at some point in my life because I now have the knowledege to (hopefully lol) keep the pounds from creeping up on me or my health from deteriorating when im older :) 

I am not alone!

I can't see my feet...=/

Oppi I can't scratch my own back... seriously. It's hard.

I have learned that there are healthy food that I really enjoy. For example I am having a salad with grilled chicken and reduced fat cheese for lunch and I think it tastes wonderful! I got fruit at the store that smells and tasted so good.

I think maybe my taste buds are changing (is that possible?) now that I am not eating fried, fatty crap!

Original Post by dellli:

I have learnt that being fat hurts, mentally, physically and most important emotionally...

I have learnt that boredom does not mean food.

I have learnt that weight loss & living healthy is not a one night stand, its like marriage.... u need to stick with it even after the honeymoon period is over ( i.e. even after u lose all those extra pounds)

 Also, I love this... weight loss is not a one night stand its like marriage!

Original Post by jigglethehandle:

I have learned that I have received the benefit of poor pricing scales in that a XXL shirt often costs the same as a small, so I am receiving more cloth for my dollar technically.  I have been sticking it to the man my whole life...

 

 Ha. I lol @ work on that one.

I have learned:

1.) you can look at your true body image realistically, not necessarily like what u see but still have a healthy outlook of yourself, overall as a person.

2.) Loving your body does not mean taking a million vain pictures or being a size 4...but appreciating its functions and purposes and treating it as a git

3.) I eat too d*** fast. I blame that partly on the big, rushed family dynamics, partly on always being in  go go go mode, and mostly on a lack of self control. On that note, slower eaters can consume less in the same amount of time and feel more satisfied.

4.) 3500 cal= i lb :)

5.) Don't ever tell someone their vice is easy to overcome. Everyone has their weak areas, and they don't want to hear your cut and dry formulas. Just support people and try to understand.

6.) Take advice from people who u admire, not just anyone who wants to talk.

7.) buddy up with a fit knowledgeable person at the gym and you get a free personal trainer :)

I've learned my husband thinks I'm beautiful no matter what I weigh!

Hey everyone, this is my first time replying to anything haha :P
Well as for me, I am 21, stand at 5'8 and weigh 143 at a medium frame, however that wasn't always the case.
When I was younger I was very skinny with good muscle tone because I was a competitive swimmer starting at the age of 8 till 15.  I was 5'8 and around 140 at 15.  During the time I swam, I could eat anything I wanted, and did I ever... I would eat a whole box of cookies to myself while going on the computer at one time.  Lets just say those bad habits didnt change when I quit swimming.. If anything they got worse, because substituting those 2-4 hours I was swimming, I now was eating... JUNK! haha... anyways, my weight went up to 178 in grade 11, I didn't look huge or anything, but I felt overweight and a bit self concious.  So i decided to exercise, and watch what i ate more so, and then a few months down the road I was down to 158.  Now that weight is fine, I felt pretty good about myself... but obviously not enough.... I then listened to a friend who said being bulimic was the way to go, you can eat what you want and then purge, and lose weight... well at the time I was foolish, didn't realise the side effects, and was on an awful journey that didnt accomplish anything.  I went buimic for around 6 months, and during this time I would eat 7 tbsp of p.butter, pies, cookies(you can tell i am a sweet tooth :P)  and my weight just wasn't going down even though I was puking.  So then I did the smart thing, and told my mom I had a problem, and we went to the doctor, even though I wasnt underweight, like most girls wait to go at..... and after that meeting, I stopped cold turkey with the bulimia phase and kept eating a lot.... tbsp after tbsp of p butter.... cookie after cookie... and in 4 months I went up to my highest weight of 185 pounds! I was self concious at this time... would always wear this shaul thing that would cover my body...... I absolutely hated it, I felt that I had so much more potential to be beautiful, to feel more confident... if i just put the right effort in.  So I got my life together... at first I cut my calories to around 1400 per day, and started to do a bit more activity.  April 2008 I weight 185, and July 5th 2008 I dropped to 172.  I was starting to feel abit better, but wanted to keep losing...  I started University in Sept 2008, the first day of school i weighed in at 164... (crazy how i remember this) ..and now... the amount of walking you have to do from class to class helped a lot with exercise!!! I also went to the gym around 3 times a week, but some weeks I wouldnt go, cause i was tired or busy with hw.  Anyways I kept losing, and at christmas time I was 151 pounds.  I was feeling a lot better about myself!  Now this may cause some commotion, but my weight didnt change for 4 months!! I was consuming A LOT of aspartame, drinking lots of crystal lites, no sugar this, no sugar that... and that STOPPED my weight loss, so I did a bit of research, my calorie intake is around 1250-1300 calories a day, im exercising... whats going on... and sure enough I found out that taking in an abundance of aspartame can stop weight loss.  So i QUIT drinking that crap, now all i drink is water, milk, and OCCASIONALLY diet pop, like one can every 2 weeks... weirdly i thought id have withdrawals but I didnt... I seem to be good for quiting things cold turkey :P
Anyways from April to now I have shed 8 pounds!!!!! And i got scouted to model... but they want me to get down to 130... which isnt tooooo bad, still in a healthy range, but i talked to my doctor about it and she said they reccommend where i am at now, but it would be nice to do modelling :)

I hope you liked my story :)
Remember, Do not have an eating disorder... it is not worth it in any way!
And
Eat good MOST of the time, even if you have one snack a day its good!
Drink water when you are thirsty!
And exercise in any way you can, walking, hula hooping, skipping rope, anything! and
GET PROPER amounts of sleep! it helps a lot

Also weighing myself on a daily basis helps with showing me where i am at, but for women, weight loves to fluctuate around that time of the month... so if it goes up a couple pounds dont sweat it :)

wow. welcome - it was a nice story and it is good to see how the healthy way is the best

Original Post by airee:

One thing I'm really grateful for is that I met my husband when I was overweight. I mean, it's kinda like those old men who have billions of dollars and go, "I know I can trust my wife because she married me before I made all my money."

^What she said! I figure that getting sexier is a sweet bonus, not a stressful obligation.

I've learned that no donut will taste as good as thin feels.  I haven't lost much but I'm grateful for what I have lost so far and will continue to do so.  I've also learned that doing it for the approval of others doesn't work.  I need to do it for the approval of myself.

Things I've learned over my many weight-loss ventures:

• I need to feel more flexible in my diet or I will lash out. Weight Watchers used to work for me, but no longer does.
• Putting up my hair doesn't make me look fat.
• The "WHY DID I THINK I WAS FAT?" syndrome. I disliked my body at 130 lbs. Why? I looked wonderful! And at 140 lbs with muscle, I was the best I ever looked. Why did I hate my body so much? I now know the amount of appreciation I can have for myself, even if I won't look like a skinny model. I don't want to. I want to look thick & sexy.
• The more I do it, the more I enjoy exercise.
• People will think I am beautiful because of who I am, not how I look.
• My boyfriend loves my ass, no matter how many cellulite dimples I think it has.
• Just because someone looks good in a magazine doesn't mean I also don't look great.
• Why isn't my body "bikini ready" right now?