What have you learned from being overweight? The silver lining.

Being obese/overweight is hard sometimes, especially considering that it's on a pretty low rung of social acceptability, and many people who have lost weight seem to view their fattest as a 'bad time' in their life. But I've always been taught that difficulty brings lessons, unexpected perks, and strength. So what do you feel you have learned, appreciate, or think, that maybe you wouldn't had you not been overweight?

DISCLAIMER: I am in no way implying that overweight people are smarter than anyone else, nor am I assuming that being overweight is in any way more difficult than being underweight, normal weight, or anything really. The narrow focus of this question is in no way based on any judgement, but on my personal experience being overweight and lessons that may be specific to that particular condition. I am not suggesting that those who have never been overweight don't have reasonable jewels of wisdom they have learned throughout life, and if you feel those should be aired, feel free to start a different topic about them. If you're considering replying to state an offense or unhappiness with any implied insult, judgement, or lack of sensitivity you find in this topic, take a deep breath, go ahead and assume i didn't mean it that way, and direct your browser elsewhere.

As for mine:
- I now know what it feels like to be the odd man out and I always make an extra effort to include the person hanging back (for whatever reason)
- Do you know how many calories I can eat and still lose weight? It's fantastic.
- I learned that body image and weight are not always related. My body image is better now (at a sz 20) that it was when I was a sz 9. Learning to focus on self-image as a seperate problem, and overcoming it, has taken me leaps and bounds ahead in my ability to maintain and enjoy a healthy lifestyle.
- I am much more sympathetic to people who have difficulties they feel they can't control or 'don't know how' they got into it, whether it be drugs, bad relationships, low self-esteem, whatever. I used to see morbidly obese people and think 'how could you let yourself go THAT MUCH?' (I apologize retrospectively, to the whole world.) Now I know. It just happens, and you wake up one day at 250 lbs, and it doesn't mean anything about you as a person that it snuck up on you.
- I learned that people can change for the better, and people who think otherwise are probably not going to enjoy my company.

Would love to hear yours!

The thing that i now know is that i would have never learned if it were not for gaining about 85 pounds is that gravity is literally now a pain in the neck, back and all other parts, especially my right knee where i have had problems most of my life. I know for sure that i had heard many people say how gaining weight means that you cant sleep as well or you get pains. Now that i gained all that weight i feel it and my body finally got to the point where i knew i had to loose weight to feel better and as luck or fate would have it i ended up getting the chance to move into a new place if i did it right then, so over 3 days time i moved my whole house, just me and my husband from a first floor house into a 2nd story condo...I tell you what that experience forever changed me, not only did i bust butt for a good 18 hours out of every day for 3 days but then again every day for the next week, moving and unpacking,  i knew at the end of that it was time to change and time to get on living my life and stop hiding in the fat i had gained. I had somehow woken up from a coma where i was doing everything i could not to be the one who's life i was living, i felt like i was waiting in the back for my name to be called , then and only then would i get to start living...

    Well that move was my call, it showed me just how out of shape i was and just how in shape i was just 5 short years ago. fFrom running up and down the staird for hours and hours each day i ended up loosing about 25 pounds all in total from the speed move and now i am on a slower paced journey to loose the other 60 pounds. I know I'm going to stumble and struggle but that is life, there are so many things to get in your way each and every day but the trick is learning to glide past them and most of all have fun and remember to smile. I know i have such a long journey ahead of me but all the rewards i will get in return for loosing the weight and becoming a more healthy me will always out weigh the amout of time and effort i need to stay on this track.

Having always been skinny until the last 3 yrs has shown me two extreme sides that are very similar. Everyone always imposed their ideas on me about my physical body by saying, "If you gained like 10 or 15 more lbs you would be perfect" and i wanted the weight, but I couldn't gain it. Then I had my daughter at age 27 and now I get the, "If you could just lose like 20 lbs on your belly, you would look perfect". When I was a skinny binny I made a deal with myself to just be happy with my tall, skinny, awkward self and be healthy but most of all happy. I did it too, then I was happily married and pregnant. Then I was unhealthy, which is most of the importance of loosing weight for me.

My parents have always had weight problems during my lifetime and have health issues now in their late 50's that concern me. Yet, as a parent I feel that I want to be full of energy and health for my kids and I want to be okay in my late 50's. I just have no tollerance for working out LOL. But, I am working on it.

So, what I learned is that looking internally into what I wanted, whether Skinny or Fat, I can find positive self awareness to inevitably strive towards.

I have learned that I love myself no matter what size Iam....I just hate being physically uncomfortable in too snug clothes. 

I have learned that my cholesterol can be 170, with no meds to help and still be 50lbs overweight.  

I have learned the art of self soothing with anything and everything in the house after the kids have gone to sleep.  I have also learned that its a battle I fight everyday...but am capable of tipping the odds in my favor a bit.  Its a lifelong journey with no destination. 

I finally learned that what other people think doesn't matter. Period. Diddly-squat.

thank you

 I have learned that eating healty is a life style if I want to live a healthy life and being overweigth is not the best for me. It is time to love myself.

I learnt how bloody difficult it is to lose weight.  So I used to think fat people were lazy slobs...until I got fat.  Now I know how hard it is to make any progress in reversing it it, I feel very sympathetic to anyone who is uncomfortable with their weight.

I have been hungry for weeks and I run all the time, and progress has been pretty modest and easily reversed by a beer or three or some buscuits..

Good luck to everyone because we need it.

i learned that you don't have to be fat.  nobody has to be fat.  i always thought i was born to be fat, but now i know.  being fat was my choice.  i was fat because of the decisions i had made.

i always overate & i never exercised.  i thought i was hungry.  LOL  well, maybe i was hungry, but it was up to (and still is!) me what i chose to eat.  i never ate good foods.

i never exercised.  i always looked for the closest parking spot.  i only did the simplest things.  i was always last in groups of people, like walking with the family at the mall.  i couldn't keep up! 

i know now that what & how much i eat is up to me & it's ALL my choice.  also, i couldn't hardly even walk when i got started, but once i started, it just got easier & easier.  i could walk all day now, if i wanted to!  exercise gives you energy & totally makes you feel better.  the right balance of foods makes you feel better, too.

i'll never go back!  LOL  who wants that?  i'd rather enjoy life.  :D  everything is so much better now.

you know how fat people always look at the thin people & say, 'you better eat!  look at you!'? 

why don't thin people look at fat people & say, 'hey!  i think you should stop eating now!  look at you!  haven't you gained enough weight yet?  how big do you want to be?!'  :D

i also learned how easy it is to 'change your lifestyle'.  LOL  i never thought i could do that, but now that i have, i know that anyone can.  if I can...  anyone can!

I learned that even people who love you will think that you look so much better when you lose weight .... a comment my sister made to me was like a slap in the face - apparently when I weighed more there was no way that any man would have ever been interested in me .... the comment came my way 6 years ago now, but I can still here it ringing in my ears ....

I learned it changes ur life and prevents u form do things

tciherr...

Wow.....I so agree with you!!  I haven't always dealt with weight issues and yet, looking back,,,,I was less self-confident THEN (skinny times).  Perhaps it's age that has helped my confidence....or maybe having to learn to be OK with me,,,the way I am.  Being forced to like me, in a way.

I think your'e right on with saying it's more of a mental thing........I have such a fear of getting excited to lose and change myself and get healthier that I think I'm kinda sabbataging myself?  I fear so badly, that I won't reach where I want to be and be MORE upset than if I'd just stayed OK with myself fat.  Did that make sense?

I definitely hear from many that I have to take it day by day.  That's all I can do.  That's why a goal weight and goal date seem so scary for me.

Ahhh.....the fear of failure.

Ugh.

Robin

Original Post by fourgreatkids:

I think your'e right on with saying it's more of a mental thing........I have such a fear of getting excited to lose and change myself and get healthier that I think I'm kinda sabbataging myself?  I fear so badly, that I won't reach where I want to be and be MORE upset than if I'd just stayed OK with myself fat.  Did that make sense?

Robin

 While I know it shouldn't be, I think this effects many parts of life. I don't want to go to a job interview if I don't think I'll get the job. I think there is always a little struggle convincing oneself that its better to try and fail than not try at all. Let's face it, somedays it doesn't seem that way : )

Original Post by tciherr:

I've learned:

• I have had body issues all my life.  When I was 120 pounds in high school I thought I was fat. 
• I had bigger issues to deal with than just being overweight. 
• The mental part of losing weight and realizing why I had let myself go was much more difficult than the physical part of diet and exercise.

Happily I think I have overcome those obstacles and hope to live the remainder of my life in a healthy way.  Wish me luck!

 You literally took the words right out of my mouth.....I wish you the best of luck!

Original Post by minda_spk:

 think this effects many parts of life. I don't want to go to a job interview if I don't think I'll get the job. I think there is always a little struggle convincing oneself that its better to try and fail than not try at all. Let's face it, somedays it doesn't seem that way : )

I have learned that it is better to try and fail than not try at all.

But, it is much more fun to try and succeed!   Too bad life doesn't always work out that way.

Sorry if this is more of the same, but I have learnt to work with my figure not against it, so wearing clothes that suit you and your shape rather then fidgeting into something too tight or wrong for your shape! It's much more sexy feeling comfy and comfy in your skin!

Also thin is not always healthier;models maybe thin and gorgeous but during london fashion week most of the toilet cubicles are covered in poops from models on laxatives desperate to lose a few extra pounds (is this the face of glamour)!? 

My heaviest was 302lbs at the age of 18. I've learned that eventually you reach a point and you just say "f--- it all". You get up off the couch and start changing the way you live. For me it started with my weight, but it's slithered into other parts of my life- my finances, my shyness, my mortality. Now after years of sitting on the sidelines, it's nice not to be the nuclear b-movie mutation of a wallflower. I do what makes me happy and I don't stop to consider if other people are watching or judging, because frankly I no longer give a damn. They can either jump on the boat with me or wave at me as I sail away. Not to say I'm careless, I take other people's feelings into consideration. I remember what it was like to feel unwanted, lonely, and hurt. I think I'm a better friend and daughter because of it. Just like how I have to watch what I eat, I have to be mindful of my words.

I've learned not to dwell on past experiences. Every now and then I'll take a pity day where I'll recall all the hurtful things that were said about me, the **** up situations I got myself in because I wanted to please others so that they would like me. People always say to stay positive... but sometimes I need to hate that person I used to be, just so I won't ever stray back there. I still keep pictures of me fat and naked. It hurts to look at it.. but at the same time I was one of those people that asked "How did I get here?" Previously I wasn't mindful of myself, I didn't really realize, or was in denial, I don't know which it is.

I've definetly developed some mild OCD and masochism, and I'm okay with that. I keep track of everything now, and I had to teach myself to love the burn that comes with exercising. Sometimes it hurts, but it's worth it. When I'm running I always imagine a dominatrix chasing after me with a whip. I don't get turned on by it, but the final product of the exercising itself is intoxicating. 

I've learned I'm not alone. I always felt so lonely, just, crying myself to sleep soggy pillow depressed to the point of exhaustion lonely. I've learned there are so many other people who are just as messed up as me, and some that are even worse off. I love that. I love not being the only imperfect person. It still stuns me when I open my mouth and talk to people, that gee, you know, they like to hear what I have to say.

... Even if I ramble on and post text walls. Sorry guise, I got carried away.

Oh, P.S. I've learned I've still got a long way to go, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't actually ever end until you see the white light.

I don't want to be pessimistic, but the only thing I've learned being obese (I actually don't feel that way, even when I am 5'2" and weigh 215lb , I still have a nice body shape) is that my feet hurt so much, my ulcer is killing me, I am tired all the time, nice clothes don't fit, people think I am older than I am. If I keep it like this, my kids are all going to be overweight also, and I don't want that, I don't want my kids to cry because the other kids make fun of them, or my daughter to cry because she doesn't have a boyfriend because she is fat, I want my kids to be healthy and happy, and also learn that food is just to keep your body up. I've also learned that fast food is my worst enemy, that even when I am 24 years-old, I have to dress like I am 40 because I'm not able to afford nice clothes because they're too expensive, or for "big and tall" and I am "big and short".

I don't have kids yet, but if I get pregnant, I don't wanna even think how my body is going to look afterwards...

The only good thing I've learned is that my husband loves me for who I am and not for how I look.

And I want to lose weight mainly because I have flat feet and they hurt soooo much...

oh anakruspe,,,,,,I hear you about the feet.  My knee's "crackle" as I walk up the steps.  Feet and knee's are horrible.  Ugh.

Clothes....oh the clothes......he he.  Isn't it horrible?  Why the hell can't nice clothes go up to the highest sizes?  How hard would that be?  Ick.

As far as kids....well,,,,I have them.  It's hard for me to say that we should all be healthy and active,,,,,,,that we shouldn't be really overweight,,,,,that we are hurting our bodies,,,,,,,but that no matter what your size - we are all wonderfully made and incredible people and that if they "end up" overweight, that they are still amazing.  I don't want to make them grow up thinking that they have to be skinny so they don't end up like me,,,,,,,but yet,,,,I want them to see that, although fat, I'm pretty neat. 

Robin