learning to like sex

okay, I admit I do enjoy it.. in theory.

I have the thoughts/temptations sometimes, but not as obsessive as most seem to. I didn't lose my virginity till I was 18 because I never felt the need to. I am not a very "horny" person in general, and I don't masturbate.

basically I enjoy sex for the anticipation, but then lose the feeling after a couple minutes.

my boyfriend gets frusterated with me because I have never had an orgasm before, and tells me that I am missing out, and that I need to, *ehem*, touch myself more so that I can reach that peak, and enjoy sex more

btw, it's not the bf either, I have been with a few guys and it's always been the same situation..

I dunno.. personally I have better things to do then make time to play with myself, or watch porn or whatever. I don't find it very enjoyable or satisfying, and kinda feel disgusted if I ever do.

so my question is: how do you learn to like sex? is there something wrong with me?

I second that you are probably having a small one.  And yes they are all different.  The strong ones make me feel like I'm about to pass out.  The small ones are more of a release of tension. 

You can definitely have good sex without them, but it's so much better with them.  Usually if I don't have one it's because I'm tired or distracted by worries (kids, work, etc). 

The sex can be about just being physically close and intimate and can still be good.  And sometimes I go in thinking int's probably not going to happen, and then I get caught up in it and BOOM -- there's the orgasm. 

But I definitely learned how to get them by myself long before I had a boyfriend.  I used to take long baths.... and I still do.

One thing I can say is that it's much easir for me to have an orgasm when I'm on top and if I'm mostly upright.  That position gives me good clitoral stimulation against his lower belly. 

This thread confuses me greatly. I've been a horny freak since I was like 13 years old.

I think all people just have different hormone levels.

Original Post by jackattack07:

This thread confuses me greatly. I've been a horny freak since I was like 13 years old.

I think all people just have different hormone levels.

13 -- heh-- try 11 years old. 

wow, i'm kinda thrilled that this thread is still kickin', as i have some concerns

my lack of interest has not gone away... and my bf has begun to really notice. We even had a talk the other day, and he said that the reason that I'm not into it is because I have never had an orgasm before so I don't know what to look forward to, therefore I see little point in sex

therefore if I learn to reach that peak, i'll start to enjoy sex.

so here it goes people...

how do you do it?? (ie: orgasm)

Wow, that's hard.  Everyone is different. 

If you're talking about masturbation, then you just touch where it feels good, clit, nipples, etc.  Start out very gently and relax and think good thoughts.   If it feels good try pressing a little harder -- or a little softer -- or a little to the side.  Experiment. 

I can orgasm a number of different ways.  I actually think I can orgasm just from having my nipples stimulated, but I never actually have because I get impatient and greedy. 

But you have to be able to relax.  Feeling dirty or self-conscious is unproductive.  A glass of wine or a drink can help relax you, but don't get drunk. that's not gonna work. 

Original Post by karozel:

Original Post by jackattack07:

This thread confuses me greatly. I've been a horny freak since I was like 13 years old.

I think all people just have different hormone levels.

13 -- heh-- try 11 years old. 

Well I was "horny" when I was really young but I meant I didn't start sexual activity with a guy til I was 13-14. I hope you didn't when you were 11. :P

Nope, horny at ?, masturbating at 11, sexually active at 13, pregnant at 15, married at 16.  Still married 29 years later to the same great guy.  And still having great sex. 

Hope these links help, but as others have said, it's different for everyone.

www.the-clitoris.com/n_html/masturb.htm

www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/masturbationwomen.htm

www.healthystrokes.com/youngfem.html

http://www.sexuality.about.com/od/anatomyresp onse/ht/masturbatewomen.htm

www.livestrong.com/article/12490-masturbate-guide-women/

Original Post by karozel:

Nope, horny at ?, masturbating at 11, sexually active at 13, pregnant at 15, married at 16.  Still married 29 years later to the same great guy.  And still having great sex. 

That'a girl!

Original Post by karozel:

Wow, that's hard.  Everyone is different. 

If you're talking about masturbation, then you just touch where it feels good, clit, nipples, etc.  Start out very gently and relax and think good thoughts.   If it feels good try pressing a little harder -- or a little softer -- or a little to the side.  Experiment. 

I can orgasm a number of different ways.  I actually think I can orgasm just from having my nipples stimulated, but I never actually have because I get impatient and greedy. 

But you have to be able to relax.  Feeling dirty or self-conscious is unproductive.  A glass of wine or a drink can help relax you, but don't get drunk. that's not gonna work. 

 This is excellent information.

I'd like to add that you should continue to try to masturbate even if you feel silly or dirty or whatever. I remember when I first started to explore my body for first time. It felt weird and unnatural to me, but I knew that was just because I had been taught that "good girls don't". Ask yourself where your attitudes about sex came from.

After I had my first O by my own hands I could really let go for someone else. Don't give up. It is worth it.

jules817:

Oh I do have a few toys and do not mind going to buy them.  I actually want to go to the store in the next day or 2 to get a new one.  I was thinking a hands free one. LOL  

I just had a problem with it a few years ago but I think it was more i was just uncomrfortable with what I didn't know and I didn't have any boyfriends willing to help me figure out what works for me.   

Well, it's nice to think that those are small ones , so there is hope for  me!  LOL  Lately I guess I've gotten more into trying because of the lack of sex in my relationship.  I have got to release my frustration.  The little onesthat I do have seem to  help some.  i must say that since I've been trying to take care of myself, I have wanted actual penetration even more.  My toys don't seem to do the trick, I think the real thing still works better. Sorry if that was TMI.