Cognitive Dissonance

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

"Give yourself the gift of support and speak with either a psychotherapist or life coach."

No thanks, I'm set ;). I achieved excellent results using a comibination of substitution (unhealthy foods GONE, healthy foods IN) and classical conditioning. All it takes is two rubber bands around your wrist. When you feel a craving for something unhealthy (whether you have calories for it or not) pull and release the elastic (it has to cause pain/discomfort, but don't worry its just an elastic!) and when you are no longer in any pain, eat something healthy. Eventually you just automatically skip to craving healthy food. I've lost 60lbs of fat and gained 30 lbs of muscle over the years using this technique. Right now I'm training for a half-marathon: something I never would have even considered before.

TL;DR People are animals, treat yourself like one! (In the kitchen and the bedroom! Haha)

Love this article. We always perceive diet as changing physical behavior but it is really depend on you mental status (psychology). Successful diet comes down to how you control your mind which influence your action.

Healthy Mind = Healthy Body

Wow...I'm not that deep.  My only fear of being thin is based on the fact that I will miss out on the next serving of yummy pie!

I am a psychologist and my understanding is that EFT is pseudoscience.   It concerns me that this is being recommended here as a "powerful tool".   

Original Post by: ebilebes

I am a psychologist and my understanding is that EFT is pseudoscience.   It concerns me that this is being recommended here as a "powerful tool".   

Dear ebilebes,

Not to be concerned.  EFT is an energy psychology tool that is considered a "cousin" to acupuncture. For more information about EFT I refer you and others interested to a book called, The Promise of Energy Psychology:  Revolutionary Tools For Dramatic Personal Change by David Feinstein, Ph.D., Donna Eden and Gary Craig.  The forward to this book is written by Candace Pert, Ph.D the author of Molecules of Emotion:  The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine

While these tools may not be for everyone, I think it's important that they are made known to a general public that may not otherwise be aware of such approaches.

Warmly,
Diane

EFT can be quite powerful for a lot of things - I've used it successfully before and you can do it yourself and not have to pay a fortune for a therapist.  You can also do relaxation techniques and journaling that deal with anxieties and underlying fears.  These are all great tools not only for weight loss, but other things that may be holding you back from reaching your fullest potential.  I was happy to see these suggestions on here today - and not just the "same old things"

Great job! :)

Many people eat for emotional reasons. It makes sense to get to the root of the problem whether through EFT or a self help / discovery book.

Ebilebes - ha ha ha! Right there with you! I have no hidden agenda or fear of being thin, I just really like pie! 

My experience of EFT is that it works and you don't even have to believe that it works, it just does.

I thought my issue was I just liked to eat cake, a lot, and chocolate and many other things but the process of thinking through why I want to lose weight has helped me considerably and I have had a couple of light bulb moments in the last couple of months that have helped me a lot. 

In life often times stuff works that logically shouldn't so I try to keep an open mind...

Mine is more like, "What if I'm thin and I still hate my body". What then?

"I'm afraid to lose weight and become thin because  men will find me attractive and take advantage of me."

As someone who suffers from that exact thought (after having been raped as a teenager when I was at my lowest weight to date), I have come to realize how powerful they can be. No matter how much I "try" to lose weight, I'm constantly sabatoging myself and actually gaining weight! I am in therapy and find it extremely beneficial and I urge anyone else who has suffered from trauma to get help!

hahahahahahahhaha!

laughing at groovyoldlady

Wow – great article, Diane.  Thank you for presenting this information in this way.  I believe this will be very helpful to me.    

For those (like myself) who have experienced trauma, the hidden iceberg is a huge challenge.  Fortunately, I have become convinced that I am up to it.  I agree – it’s my responsibility – thanks for presenting tools for moving me along on my journey. 

For those who can relate – thanks for posting – your insights are invaluable to me.      

I definitely think that overcoming "limiting beliefs" is a valuable exercise.  I am still working on mine but I'm getting better.

Healthy mind = healthy body (*groovyoldlady).  But the opposite is also true.  

After I started with a personal trainer, I didn't have to think about my workouts, he told me what to eat and so I just did it (as best I could at the time).  I lost 30lbs in 2.5 months and my mindset had definitely changed.  I was way more confident and ended up getting a promotion.  It was all because of a change in mindset that started with my weight loss.

For me, the best thing I ever did was seek professional help; a personal trainer in my case.

I definately agree that you have to be in the right mindset to be successful with weight loss and KEEPING IT OFF.  I've started gaining weight back after having lost 75 lbs and for a while I didn't understand why I couldn't get my eating back on track. As I dug deeper I found that my subconscious started saying, "Why push myself if I plan to have another kid. Just wait till after." But I know that isn't a healthy thought, I need to be as healthy as possible before, during and after. I'm still struggling with this though....any suggestions? lol

How about "I'm afraid to lose weight because my boobs will shrink??"

I suffer from that one :)

As being a foodie for most of my life, and having childhood trauma to deal with, food was always my comfort and solace.  Have been dieting and exercising for a year now and have lost 40lbs, but have stalled over the past 4 mths, with the scale and the fit of my clothes going no where.  I have 40 more lbs to go.   During this time,  I have journaled all my foods, and stuck to my exercise regimen, and still no progress.  Then I realized that my mind and my body were not working together as one.  I was just following the plan and not visualizing where I wanted to be.  I had no picture of where I was headed, only looking at that particular day and doing what I had to do.  Until I slowed myself down, and began meditating, and visualizing what weight I wanted to be, how I wanted to look and feel, nothing happened.  Now, every day I visualize, I meditate and I see myself healthier and the scale slowly going down.  In 2 weeks I have lost 8 lbs, and have not changed a thing about my eating/exercising, other than just meditating and visualizing.  Just give it a try, it might actually help!!!

Original Post by: spoolin360

I definately agree that you have to be in the right mindset to be successful with weight loss and KEEPING IT OFF.  I've started gaining weight back after having lost 75 lbs and for a while I didn't understand why I couldn't get my eating back on track. As I dug deeper I found that my subconscious started saying, "Why push myself if I plan to have another kid. Just wait till after." But I know that isn't a healthy thought, I need to be as healthy as possible before, during and after. I'm still struggling with this though....any suggestions? lol

I'd recommend to not do it alone.  Talk to somebody, professional or a good friend that can tell you what you are thinking is an unreasonable expectation.  I tend to let things stew in my mind and it drives me crazy; after I talk it out with my girlfriend she always re-centres me and I feel much better.  I still need to work on why I get those thoughts in the first place.

Another thing to consider is reading self-help.  "The Secret" or Jack Canfields "The Success Principles" are very helpful and always make me feel very positive.

For a more spiritual healing check out http://www.absoluteawareness.ca

Original Post by: iloverocks13

How about "I'm afraid to lose weight because my boobs will shrink??"

I suffer from that one :)

This is actually my "fear" and excess skin... it's totally depressing and scary to think that's what'll happen after all this hard work and life changes.

For me, the worry holding me back is that if I lose weight, I still won't be happy with how I look.

As someone who has struggled with an eating disorder, I know how hard it is for me to recognize that I've lost weight and how I look after doing so. Calorie Count is helping me control the disorder by focusing on eating the right nutrients and enough calories to fuel my system while still losing necessary weight. My worry is that once I hit my 10 pound goal, I won't want to stop and I won't recognize that my body has changed.

What if I lose weight and my boobs DON'T shrink? :(

This is exactly how I felt when i started losing weight. I didn't feel like it was possible for me to be as thin as i wanted to be. But as I let go of that negative idea, I also let go of 40 pounds!!

@hazelfo - I think you hit the nail on the head for me!  It's like, what if I do all this work and still don't feel the way I want to?

I am with ebilebes on this one: EFT and other pseudo-science tools should probably be the last place to go to if you are trying to get in touch with and heal deep emotional wounds and anxieties.  Psychotherapy, cognitive behavior therapy, group therapy, support groups...  so many other avenues that are far better suggestions. 

I wholly support that people with weight problems, especially with binge/compulsive eating and emotional eating, get help.  I have been in and out of dialectical and cognitive behavior therapy, and realized some scary realities and healed some deep wounds.  I also learned some amazing tools for dealing with my emotions and urges to binge.  I wouldn't be doing such a good job with my diet program without CBT.

Original Post by: katexas

What if I lose weight and my boobs DON'T shrink? :(

I'm with you on this one!

Original Post by: lookinglassgirl

I am with ebilebes on this one: EFT and other pseudo-science tools should probably be the last place to go to if you are trying to get in touch with and heal deep emotional wounds and anxieties.  Psychotherapy, cognitive behavior therapy, group therapy, support groups...  so many other avenues that are far better suggestions. 

I wholly support that people with weight problems, especially with binge/compulsive eating and emotional eating, get help.  I have been in and out of dialectical and cognitive behavior therapy, and realized some scary realities and healed some deep wounds.  I also learned some amazing tools for dealing with my emotions and urges to binge.  I wouldn't be doing such a good job with my diet program without CBT.

I agree – therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, support groups are good – been there, done that from 1982 through 2001.  I worked hard, put in the hours and learned lots of good stuff.  Got more good stuff working with a personal fitness trainer for 6 months last year. 

Now I believe there is more for me to learn which includes spirit-emotion-body-mind connections.  Yoga has been great for me (2+ years in classes and at home), meditation has recently become a daily practice and I believe Diane and practitioners like her will open more doorways.

See you here for further discussion and support:  http://caloriecount.about.com/spiritual-weight-loss-diane-g3 353

Great discussion!  Thanks! 

Original Post by: ebilebes

I am a psychologist and my understanding is that EFT is pseudoscience.   It concerns me that this is being recommended here as a "powerful tool".   

Amen!

Original Post by: groovyoldlady

Wow...I'm not that deep.  My only fear of being thin is based on the fact that I will miss out on the next serving of yummy pie!

Amen!

This was supposed to be what I quoted originally but, I clicked on the wrong comment. LOL

I guess my brain was still busy thinking about pie...

Thank you everyone for your comments. I especially appreciate hearing from those of you who shared your personal experiences as I know that is so validating for others to hear.

If you want to explore this theme further, please feel free to join my Spiritual Weight Loss Group on Calorie Count. I'll be posting suggestions and tips for those of you interested in going deeper with this.

If you're not a Calorie Count member you can join for free and then follow the link or search for the group under Spiritual Weight Loss with Diane Petrella.

This group is a very safe, supportive setting to apply a spiritual and mind-body approach to releasing weight with confidence and love.

Everyone is welcome, so please feel free to join in the discussions.

Warmly,
Diane

Thank you miskwaagiboons for having already posted the group. I just saw that.  Whenever I'd tried this in the past I always had trouble with the link and you came to the rescue. Thanks for thinking of this again!

Original Post by: todritter

Cognitive Dissonance

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

"Give yourself the gift of support and speak with either a psychotherapist or life coach."

No thanks, I'm set ;). I achieved excellent results using a comibination of substitution (unhealthy foods GONE, healthy foods IN) and classical conditioning. All it takes is two rubber bands around your wrist. When you feel a craving for something unhealthy (whether you have calories for it or not) pull and release the elastic (it has to cause pain/discomfort, but don't worry its just an elastic!) and when you are no longer in any pain, eat something healthy. Eventually you just automatically skip to craving healthy food. I've lost 60lbs of fat and gained 30 lbs of muscle over the years using this technique. Right now I'm training for a half-marathon: something I never would have even considered before.

TL;DR People are animals, treat yourself like one! (In the kitchen and the bedroom! Haha)

Cognitive Dissonance, certainly sums up this article!  I read the wiki and it brought to mind all that I'd learned about it in my Psychology class.  I'd never thought to apply it to weight loss.  I can see how a connection could be made.  The only thing holding me back is the inability to eat lots of cookies and chocolate every day!  ;)

Also, the rubber band idea, awesome!  Like Pavlov's dog. I've considered trying something using that theory but I could never think of a way to apply it.  I think you may have hit the nail on the head! 

My thing is when this project is complete?  Then what. ?  The longing for all that's missing might/will still be there and nothing to "work on".  And how that will make me feel:  angry. 

Regarding subconscious thinking.....I had a dream one night a year ago about jumping for joy--light and bouncing with a light body. I began a mental process of letting go of things which no longer served me well and doing things differently became possible.   And that began the first weight loss I'd seen in 4 years. 

From reading others fears, I see how fragile we all are. 

I know the feeling.  I'm pretty close to my goal, but I don't feel the elation I thought I would at this point.  I also don't feel like a thin person.  I see myself in the mirror and I don't recognize myself.  I know my clothes are smaller, and everyone I know comments on how great I look, but I don't FEEL it yet.  I kind of stalled this month, and I wonder if it's because I haven't come to terms with my weight loss and all that it means.

In my quest to lose the 35 extra pounds I accumulated in the last decade on my normally svelte body, I asked why it was so unusual for people to be way overweight back 25 years ago and so common, even "normal" now. What's happened? Perhaps, the common perception of deprivation. What was a sense of moderation, lack and gluttony - a food decorum  - is now considered deprivation.  In the past it was a shared attitude that one could have "too many shoes," "enough sweaters," etc. Now it's the standard that even walk in closets cannot have enough clothes. A "great sale" is not passed up easily. On the level of food - just go to a buffet, a pot luck -  people snap up food like it's on sale. Or at least they want to. To forgo a luscious desert for an apple seems like deprivation. I feel sorry for the those who pass up the pleasure of food.

So, given this insight, I went from 180 pounds back to my college weight of 145. I have kept my 145 pound weight for 3 years now. My blood pressure has gone from dangerously high (stroke level) to normal, I can walk without pain, I like pictures of myself again. I never consciously "went on a diet" I eat deserts and do not count calories. EFT seems silly. My formula: Hang out with slender people who eat to live not live to eat. Change the concept of deprivation to eating half the previous amount (portion control), tell myself that deprivation and gluttony are both sides of the same coin. Replace it with "enough" and live to be beautiful always - Spiritually and physically.

Thanks for the article I now know that i didn't want to lose weight because I didnt want to seem vain or pridefull as before in my life when I weighed 117. I was so self indulged i should of had a nose bleed everyday, I thought I was something when i was nothing.

Life's rug slipped out front under me when I was 30, life brought me to a point of self examination. Now I''m 40 wanting to lose the weight I've obtained from the lifes struggels but felt If I did lose weight I become that old person. Silly I know...

Anywhoo's I will never become that old person again, with or without my weight.

Thanks again for the article!

Quote:  Gabrielle - Some people say that an unexamined life is not worth living.  Xena - Those people haven't led my life.  (taken from Xena: Warrior Princess)  

So we’re all different.  And so we should be.  Ain’t life grand?! 

Original Post by: sdbooker

Thanks for the article I now know that i didn't want to lose weight because I didnt want to seem vain or pridefull as before in my life when I weighed 117. I was so self indulged i should of had a nose bleed everyday, I thought I was something when i was nothing.

Life's rug slipped out front under me when I was 30, life brought me to a point of self examination. Now I''m 40 wanting to lose the weight I've obtained from the lifes struggels but felt If I did lose weight I become that old person. Silly I know...

Anywhoo's I will never become that old person again, with or without my weight.

Thanks again for the article!

OMG – not silly – and thanks for writing this – I had a major “ah-hah!” moment when thinking about your comment!  During my only lifetime “skinny” period, I was heavily into my alcoholism and (frankly) promiscuous.  In years of therapy later, I found this was not unreasonable considering history of childhood sexual abuse. 

So, ah-hah -> I’ve got an “iceberg” fear that returning to “skinny” means returning to behaviors I don’t like (and would be bad for my marriage).

LOL – I was just about to write, “I know that sounds silly . . “   There is power in naming our fears – they lose their power.  Thank you!        

I would say that the majority of people who want to lose weight have a problem with discipline, not with an incongruent subconscious.  I'm at a healthy weight but I struggle daily still (after 8 years!) with urges to eat foods that are delicious and in the amounts that are satisfying.  I do not have discipline.  I cannot squelch my desire to eat the foods I love.  And it doesn't help that I'm a super-taster. Both my conscious and subconscious love food! lol 

@ miskwaabigoons,  “ah-hah!” back at cha!

I so happy you found my post as a  “ah-hah!”  moment in your quest to better your life.

Good luck in all your endeavors!

This article makes very valid points.  There are other issues you should consider as well. Once you lose the extra weight the status quo among family and friends changes. This is powerful. Be prepared to lose your friends as well (family too). I might point out that those who find some new unforgivable fault with the new you are not really friends anyhow. But our appearance and attitude about life and ourselves define the friendships we have. Change those, and you change everything (including your friends). 

Additionally, things that hold us back from weight loss go beyond how we think and feel about being thin. Chances are there are a great deal of other things that can hold us back too. Things we are afraid to face and change. For some it is dealing with financial issues or accepting a new financial status (which can be far lower than we were once accustom to). For other people it could be a marriage that needs work (or ending). For many, losing weight (as hard as it is) is a simpler alternative than fixing other things in their life. At least the weight loss outcome seems all positive and certain. But changing how you spend money or where you live or your job is uncertain and scary.

My personal experience is to get your life in order and the weight will take care of itself.

No one can give you the courage to change your life. But that is where you can REALLY practice that faith so many of you talk about. Faith that God will take care of you. For so many, take the first real leap of faith without the safety net. Make your life into something you are proud of. Prayers are not wishes. Take action and the rest will fall into place.

How do you change the way you think and feel to overcome your fears? Oh, that is the million dollar question. I just know it happened to me, and I never look back. NOW I KNOW.. . . anything is possible.

Live your dream life (and it has nothing to do with stuff).

Original Post by: katexas

What if I lose weight and my boobs DON'T shrink? :(

I am with you on that one! Although, I already know the answer to that for myself... they won't go away with weight loss. Been there and done that, they just look bigger. :(

Mizzpaw - I loved your comments about the excesses in today's society.  You're so right, things are different now. 

I had a list of things I am afraid of on a subconscious level - making them conscious by listing them here for God and everybody who is reading this. 

I am afraid to lose weight because I might look worse with all the loose skin than I do fat.  (not to mention how much my breasts will probably sag)

I'm afraid I will look older and more unhealthy thin than I do fat because the fat keeps my wrinkles filled out and boy can I anticipate being wrinkled after I lose more than 150 pounds.

I am afriad to lose weight because I might not be happy even if I lose the weight.  Maybe it isn't the key to happiness and health that I think it is which leads me to my next fear...

What if losing weight doesn't really make my health problems better.  What if my back still hurts, will I still become cripled with my psoriatic arthritis even if I'm thin, will I still have to take blood pressure medication, what if it doesn't help my asthma.  The doctors all say that it may help for all that ails me, but it might not at the same time.

What if I lose weight and men begin to approach me again like they used to?  Will I be able to ignore their advances? My husband isn't as attentive as he used to be 20 years ago.  (God that is hard to even imagine myself thinking but the thought has crossed my mind)

What issues will I have to work on when weight is no longer a huge issue?  Will I have to work on even harder issues? 

Wow - photochick - way to open up and put yourself out there.  You have my admiration and respect. 

Sincerely - Misk.

As a child from a two alcoholic parent home where everything was about keeping secrets and shame, I am learning that keeping stuff in has been hurting me all this time, stuffing it all down with food most of the time.  Of course I related to some of the other things listed in the article number one being...

I want to lose weight but I just don't believe that I can be successful at this, or several other things! 

Also, what if I need to stop being around certain friends who are not positive influences on me in order to become thin?  The idea of excluding people from my life terrifies me, even if it is in my best interest.

Thanks for your support Misk!!!

Original Post by: christins73

EFT can be quite powerful for a lot of things - I've used it successfully before and you can do it yourself and not have to pay a fortune for a therapist.  You can also do relaxation techniques and journaling that deal with anxieties and underlying fears.  These are all great tools not only for weight loss, but other things that may be holding you back from reaching your fullest potential.  I was happy to see these suggestions on here today - and not just the "same old things"

Great job! :)

Some times a pseudoscience is all someone needs. Its the power of beliefe, which is the point of the article: believe in yourself to be able to not only loose the weight but to succeed at being the person that maybe no one else sees.

Powerful discussion...and as a member of Diane's group, a terrific addition to the thoughts and discussions there. At 62 I am just coming to grips with events that happened when I was 3 years old. I can see the progression of my personal issues, both sex and weight, over my lifetime as a huge series of mistakes...and yet, not total mistakes. My very survival is a miracle, as are my 3 darling grown children.

I am studying A Course in Weight Loss, a book recommended and reviewed on this site, and I am turning to spiritual insight and discipline as a way to break out of the 100 pounds and the compulsive and emotional eating that sustain them. It takes so much eating to stay this size, yet I seem to be able to do that without thinking.

I have had a counselor for more than 2 years and weight and sex was one of our primary issues, yet I made little progress. With her I did begin to explore the abuse for the first time, so that was positive. I have the tools I need, applying them systematically every day is the challenge for me.

I've been in CC for several years now, and I use the logging tools and the journaling and groups. I'm putting my energy and faith into Diane's group because of the gentle approach. I need to be more loving to me.

Original Post by: hazelfo

Mine is more like, "What if I'm thin and I still hate my body". What then?

Dear hazelfo,

This is a common fear and thank you for sharing as I know many can relate to this.

Underneath the thought of "hating" one's body is sometimes a need for forgiveness.  While I cannot speak to your specific concerns, I invite you to explore how forgiveness can help you neutralize the harsh feelings you harbor towards your body.  Perhaps this article, A Diet of Forgiveness, will help.

I wish you well.

Love and Peace-filled Blessings,
Diane

Where is a good website to find out more about ETF?

Original Post by: sky26

Where is a good website to find out more about ETF?

Hi sky26,

This is the most comprehensive site for EFT that I'm aware of. The founder of EFT, Gary Craig, has retired and this is the continuation of the site he started.

www.EFTUniverse.com

You will find on this site information about using EFT for a number of concerns including weight loss.

Warmly,
Diane