A letter to my cat

Dear Furby,

I take good care of you, I play with you, put up with with your moodyness, feed you, give you water, change your litter box, love you. I even deal with the way that you attempt to open the cupboard door to get into the food and end up constantly slamming the door over and over and over, all night long. So why do you feel the need to eat the dogs food, right after you have eaten yours? Yes furby I hear you eating the dog food. You crunch it so loud that it is impossible NOT to hear you. Yet somehow with all that crunching you manage to not chew it  and then procceed to puke up the dog food. Please stop. It is gross and you are a cat, not a dog.

Lovingly,

Your owner (that human that takes care of you)

Dear Furby,

Your owner sounds like a nice lady.  Please stop driving her crazy.

And if you would, at the next Kitties For World Domination meeting, tell the stray cat that hangs out in my bushes that it is ok to eat the food I leave out for him.

kthxbai,

erin

Well, at least Furby didn't poop in the bed.

Dear Cat,

I'm sorry I had to put you to sleep last year. Hope you're having a blast in kitty heaven and not spraying everywhere

dear mean husband on my couch -OOPS WRONG LETTER!!-

Dear Rose and Dorothy;

You are the best fish in the world.  You've lasted so long in that tiny tank and you're getting so big.  I'm sorry Sophia and Blanche died so early after buying the four of you.  I'd like to feed you cheesecake; but I would think that would cause instant death....so....you will continue to get dry Koi Fish Food.

Love,

ME

Dear Dog,

How very clever you are, learning to slam cupboard doors and impersonate the sound of a cat eating your food.  And throwing up in an effort to frame a poor, innocent kitty?  Brilliant. 

But we're onto you.  Cease and desist this campaign to oust the cat immediately, or kitty will learn to call the vet and make an appointment to have you neutred.

Regards,

Someone who knows the truth.

Original Post by vanessa1031:

dear mean husband on my couch -OOPS WRONG LETTER!!-

Dear Rose and Dorothy;

You are the best fish in the world.  You've lasted so long in that tiny tank and you're getting so big.  I'm sorry Sophia and Blanche died so early after buying the four of you.  I'd like to feed you cheesecake; but I would think that would cause instant death....so....you will continue to get dry Koi Fish Food.

Love,

ME

Cutest letter-to-pet ever! Fishies!! I had a bubbly-eyed fancy goldfish that last a looong time, he even got sick 3 times and still lived when I thought he was a goner! His name was Creme, he blew bubbles, it was mega cute. <3 I love fish!

Dear Kids,

Dear Dogs,

Dear Exes,

I really do miss you....from time to time. I really enjoy being alone and not taking care of anything or anybody. No plants. No pets. No men. No kids. Its been 25 years since  I could say that. I only have to feed myself and clean my own cage. If i want. Love you still!!!!!!!! but its MY TURN NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love and Light,

Mama, human, wifey.

 SWAK

Original Post by cptbunny:

Original Post by vanessa1031:

dear mean husband on my couch -OOPS WRONG LETTER!!-

Dear Rose and Dorothy;

You are the best fish in the world.  You've lasted so long in that tiny tank and you're getting so big.  I'm sorry Sophia and Blanche died so early after buying the four of you.  I'd like to feed you cheesecake; but I would think that would cause instant death....so....you will continue to get dry Koi Fish Food.

Love,

ME

Cutest letter-to-pet ever! Fishies!! I had a bubbly-eyed fancy goldfish that last a looong time, he even got sick 3 times and still lived when I thought he was a goner! His name was Creme, he blew bubbles, it was mega cute. <3 I love fish!

 I LOVE MY FISH!!

and so does julia :)

Dear Dog,

Just because my husband insisted upon you, and even though you are cute as heck, does NOT give you the right to chase my poor little furbabies.  They did nothing to you.  They were here before you, and are just ornery enough to outlive you as well.  So, unless you wanna wake up to this one day, I suggest you cease trying to figure out if you can fit your whole mouth around my poor kitteh's body and (literally) scaring the pizz out of them.

kthxbai!

Original Post by splitrail:

Dear Dog,

How very clever you are, learning to slam cupboard doors and impersonate the sound of a cat eating your food.  And throwing up in an effort to frame a poor, innocent kitty?  Brilliant. 

But we're onto you.  Cease and desist this campaign to oust the cat immediately, or kitty will learn to call the vet and make an appointment to have you neutred.

Regards,

Someone who knows the truth.

Hilarious!

Dear Jesusfish II (aka JFJ):

I am really sorry I haven't changed your water in so long, and instead just top your bowl up with new water. You deserve better. Even though you are forced to swim in your own filth, and are terrorized by the Cat (who mostly just wants to drink your gross fish water, go figure), and have no friends except for the jesus candle beside you on the repentance stand where you live....you still are ever-cheerful and peppy and do the Food Dance every time I come near. I promise to change your water when I get home, this time for sure. Unless the Cat gets you first.