I joined here some time ago, did well but have been slacking lately. I'm currently at 195 lbs (ugh) and 5'5".
Ok, here's the mess...When I was a little girl 11-13 I had a HUGE HUGE crush on this guy who was 4 years older than me. I worshipped him like I would have a teen idol at the time. Naturally he didn't know I existed...No big deal, life went on and now I'm 38...BUT
2 weeks ago I'm looking at bands on myspace. I run up on this band out of Hollywood (I'm in bama) I look at their pics..One looks familiar so I email 'em and asked who it was. It was the guy I was in love with when I was a kid. OMG!!!!! (insert excited squeal here)
So we started emailing and talking on the phone...And now he's planning on coming to town around Christmas to visit me.... Which is cool, BUT...when we first talked and I described myself to him, I didn't think I'd see him so I lied about my weight by 50 lbs. Dammit.
I gotta lose some weight now, GOT TO. I would be absolutely crushed to have him look at me and be repulsed or something. I can pull off a 20 lb weight loss 'cause of the way I'm built but I need HELP.
This is like my childhood fantasy come true and I'm so scared I can't do it. Crap. Please help me do this!!!!!
What you need to do is e-mail him right away and tell him you didn't give your real weight. Tell him what you really do weigh and then it's all up to him.
Let it be a lesson learned.
dude you just gotta tell him. write him an email and be like, i didnt expect you to actually come out to see me and i fudged my weight a little.
but seriously wtf were you doing telling a guy ur weight anyway? always stick with "well rounded" and ur bra size ;). or just let full length pics tell the story... which you should probably send out ahead of time. that way, if he is still coming, you at least know that he knows to expect reality.
Dear Kittie,
You have to be realistic...you will make yourself crazy. If this guy is "the guy"
or someone who will be a friend from now on, you have to be honest to him and
also to yourself. Do the best you can but don't hurt yourself.
Syl
=/
There are plenty of resources here to help you lose weight in a healthy fashion. I don't have much to add to them. I do feel your pain. I do think telling him beforehand is something to... er, consider seriously.
There ARE other things you can improve while working on your weight that will make you feel much more confident... and that's at least half the battle. Get a nice hair cut. Buy a new flattering outfit or two. Hey, what makes you YOU and an interesting person? He is not going to be judging you nearly as much as you are judging yourself.
One question. Is he coming to see you as a ROMANTIC sort of visit, or a FRIENDLY sort of visit? 
Original Post by drea99:
how long ago did you tell him how much you weighed?
Must have been within the last 2 weeks, no?
Here's what my warped logic is right now-If I can lose 20 lbs by then I'll be at 175 and about a size 12 (currently in a 14/16)
Then I can tell him I've gained about 15 lbs from the Holidays which would put me (in his eyes) at around 160. That's only a 15 lb difference...I think I can pull that off, hopefully..or am I just being a horrible person by lying?
Guys usually can't tell what a woman weights so don't fret about a FEW pounds. You should, however, tell him that you are nervous about seeing him because you feel that you are overweight/gained weight. If he asks how much - you can always just say a bit more than you admitted. If he has a brain in his head, he will understand why you did not disclose your actual weight in your original conversation. You should apologize for not being truthful though. There's a difference between not disclosing all information and telling a straight out lie. Tell him that it bothers you that you were not honest. That is the real issue - NOT your weight.
We think about these things a LOT more than men do. We always see ourselves worse than everyone else sees us anyway. I stress everyday about what people think about my weight and as conceited as it sounds, people really like me - regardless that I am 200 pounds overweight (but on the track of losing it finally). You have time to still lose some sensibly but do NOT make what you told him your goal - it is not realistic. Good luck and please, post how it goes after you talk to him and finally see him. 
-___-
If you're not going to tell him your real weight ahead of time, then do not keep throwing made up numbers about.
Why would you tell him that you gained 15 lbs from the holidays? How would you even bring that up in conversation? And wouldn't that come off as some sort of pathetic apology?
I can see how you would exchange weights via email, since describing yourself to someone is not all that awkward over the internet. But to his face you shouldn't be talking about your weight.
I did, however send honest pics-but only about the top 1/3 of me.
Original Post by cuddleekittie:
I don't know what I was thinking..OMG you guys, I CAN'T tell him. I just can't. I don't know what to do.
No relationship should be built on a lie... much less multiple lies. 'Fess up and be honest with him. If you want to lose weight, do it in a healthy way.
=^..^= MOLLY
Original Post by cuddleekittie:
Yeah, I know, numbers are BAD...We were talking on the phone and he actually just straight out asked and caught me off guard and I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.
I did, however send honest pics-but only about the top 1/3 of me.
You know, kittie, if you are getting ANY sort of bad vibes from him, don't ignore them. It does all seem a little strange to me. You've only 'known' each other for two weeks and he's coming to see you. Do you know if he has a girlfriend? Have you talked to any of HIS friends, ie, the members of his band? How much has he told you about HIM?
Asking your weight like that was very rude. DON'T assume you know him because he was in your class at 13. =/
I feel guilty but I'd feel better knowing you've looked at it from every possible angle.
He has family still here, so he's not coming just to see me, though he did say he was going to change his plans to fit my holiday schedule so we could spend some time together. As far as any relationship coming out of this..I doubt it since he lives 1500 miles away, but still, ya never know. Of couse, starting out lying to him certainly wouldn't help build one.
But did he ask you that question before or after you sent the photos?
When he asked for more pics, I looked at their band's myspace and almost crawled under the table after seeing all the cute THIN girls that are on their friends list. I told him that I looked NOTHING like that and was self-conscious about sending my pic, and he said "why are you worried about dumb stuff like that?" so that was nice, I guess.
It does sound nice.
You should keep in touch with us, kittie. There is support to go around. =)
I just asked my DH what he thought you should do. He said that first of all, men are really, really bad about estimating women's weight. He said that you should make an honest but reasonable attempt to drop 10 lbs before xmas if you can, then otherwise use fashion to look the best you possibly can at 185, and RELAX. He doubts this guy is going to be able to tell the difference between 185 and 145.
And he said you *don't* need to tell the truth. I kicked him for that one... I think honesty is good, but that's my DH for ya! I guess he figures weight is one thing everyone lies about anyway.
Knowing now that he saw the photos after he asked, and he's still planning to visit you, I feel comfortable recommending you relax, too.
Don't worry about the cute thin girls... maybe that's not his type. Maybe he's had his fill of that type. MAYBE he's had a crush on YOU forever too. :-)
Which foods are high in both fat and calories?
Foods that are high in both healthy fat and calories are all nuts, nut butters, seeds such as sunflower seeds, oily fish (salmon, sardines... Read more
