My life is being destroyed by snoring ....

.... and my snoring is caused by my obesity!! (Beautiful!) last night my husband woke me up 4 times - each time increasingly angry ... ie at being kept awake by my snoring. As a result today I'm dog tired. all I can do is sit around quitely and baby-sit my daughter .... have to be really quite 'cause he's asleep. 

 

So, because I'm so tired and because I can't really do anything all I feel like doing is eating 1/2 packet of choc-chip cookies while I read my latest novel.

 

The thing is, when I'm so tired I fel like eating sugary stuff to try to wake up ... but apparently that just makes me snore worse. My husband says there's no point me lying to him about whether I'm eating right as he can tell by my snoring.

 

I've so had enough of it all. So tired of being tired all the time .... so tired of having a husband who's tired and cranky all the time - and really angry at me for causing it. (Lot's of shouting).

 

I try to diet, but I loose enthusiasm quickly. For example when I first signed up I lost 2.4 kg in a week. Then I decided to 'soften off' a bit as I'd been doing so well. (A well established patern). As a result I put on a kilo. Then I got upset by that .... and you know the story ... I'm back where I started.

 

I really hate this. I want a different way of life .... but I can't seem to follow through with it. A couple of weeks ago I was thinking of taking Duromine - but I've pretty much decided not to do that now.

 

Over the last 8 months I've been seeing Ideal Bodies Online ... in magazines, on TV etc .... thinking of signing up .... but it costs a lot of money and I just see my husband yelling a me re: other failed diets when I ask for the money.

 

God ... all just too much for me. I hate this life .... and then choc-chip cookies are beckoning .... going to try really hard not to eat them or everything will just keep repeating itself.

I'm no physician, but it sounds to me like you have sleep apnea. While you are sleeping (and snoring), your throat closes up, cutting off your breathing and it makes you wake up. And when that's not happening, it's your hubby's jabbing.

You can bet on it being the cause of -and causing- obesity. I recommend seeing a doctor about it. This is a sleep disorder and can have serious health consequences. My father suffered with it for most of my life.

 

omg I hear ya sista!

Mine was bad.  My husband ALWAYS woke me up several times during the night.  Got so bad, I started to sleep downstairs in another bedroom!!!!

Not sure if you indeed have sleep apnea.....did your husband say it sounds just like snoring or does it sound like you were 'gasping' for air?

As you lose weight, the snoring will disappear!

~H~

Sleep apnea doesn't cause obesity, but it is a leading factor in the development of it -- with weight loss often sleep apnea is also alleviated.  Snoring can also be alleviated by weight loss -- but what I see as your problem is the weight loss.

First -- you can't be lulled by initial weight loss success.  Often people will lose much more than .5-1 kg (per week) for the first couple of weeks -- if you get sucked into the "if I just slack off a bit, it won't make a difference" trap, you will end up on the diet roller coaster -- you have to look at this a change in your way of life.

Without having any of your stats it's kind of hard to advise you on how to eat

As far as sitting around eating cookies to wake yourself up -- take the kid for a walk, not only will the exercise be good for you, it will also help to wake you up -- you will have to have the motivation to do it, however.  Think about the example you will be setting for your child, think about how you will feel wearing smaller jeans, think about sleeping without snoring and getting a really good night's rest -- think about how happy your husband will be if he is getting a full night's rest.  Think about how much healthier you will be.

Whenever you get the urge to just sit around and eat, go for a walk.  Talk your book with you and sit at the park or something -- but get away from the source of quick and easy calories.

Eat breakfast every day.  A combination of proteins and carbs will generally stick with you for quite some time and carry you through to snack or lunch time.

Read the labels.

Don't try to cut down to 1200 calories right off the bat -- if you need to work your way down there, but when you start there you have no place to go down to.  Find out what your BMR is (your CC burn is your BMR plus an activity level multiplier) -- and start above there (this is a pretty reliable tool to start with).  If you start out by eating the MOST calories you can and still lose weight -- then you can easily drop that number if you hit a plateau

I recommend clearing the house of the sweets as much as possible and filling it with fruits and veggies.  Baby carrots are a no no for me -- they are pretty good for you, but a pound of baby carrots is still too much -- so I try to stick with fruit (more fiber, little more filling) for snack, and tons of veg with every meal.

 

Have you had a test for sleep apnea? Snoring can be more than just a pain in the neck... the good news is that if you have sleep apnea and get it treated, you'll sleep much better, snore much less, and drop weight more easily, because poor sleep quality is associated with weight-gain! Also, losing weight WILL help your snoring problem - I snored quite badly and woke myself up a few times a night (I probably had borderline apnea) but that never happens to me any more!

Thanks for your comments everybody .... I'm trying extra hard to stay on the straight and narrow today.

I don't know if this will help you, but try to avoid sleeping on your back! I've found that I sometimes snore when I sleep on my back, but never when I'm on my side or stomach.

I also notice you crave sugary stuff! Try keeping a bowl of apples out on the table and the cookies out of the way (like in a high cupboard you can only reach with a stool!). You're more likely to go for the apples since they're within reach.

Additionally, you seem somewhat frustrated/unhappy in your life. Please remember that your experiences are mostly what you perceive/expect them to be. I find that counting all my blessings rather than dwelling on the negative things really improve my quality of life, and by usually being in a good mood and smiling increases the chance that others around me will, too. I also find that it is a lot easier to be motivated when I feel well. If I feel poopy and am starting to take it out on myself or other people, I stop myself and reevaluate what I am doing and how I am feeling. For example, ask yourself, why am I feeling this way? Then, is it a big deal and is it worth it to spoil my mood for this? Is it worth it to have this incident have control over my happiness? You'll find that most things are NOT worth that.

We can't expect things or people around us to change, if you feel dissatisfied, you should look to yourself to improve it. You can always control yourself and your perspective on life, and don't dare try to convince yourself that you can not. You have the power to change, and only you can stop yourself from doing it. So, don't give up! If you can find something that makes you extra motivated (like a 5 pound block of fake fat hanging like an ornament from your ceiling, some good music, wanting to live a long and healthy life with your child, fitting into a cute dress, etc) all the better!

You should ask your husband to go easier on you, though. Tell him that it would mean a lot to you if he would be more supportive with positive reinforcement when you're doing something right (like eating the apple instead of the half pack of cookies). People are a lot more likely to repeat behaviors when they are rewarded. Definitely do not resort to yelling or using a mean tone to get your point through though, that rarely solves anything and just escalates a situation, usually leaving all involved parties to feel like crap. If you are feeling upset and can't express it calmly, just relax in the bathroom or take a walk outside.

My fiance has put on a bit of weight in the past couple of years due to surgeries and serious shoulder pain keeping him from being able to exercise liek he's used to. He has developed a really bad snoring habit. It usually wakes me up frequently, and I hit him, and try to fall asleep before he starts up agian. If it's really bad, I sleep on the couch. But I know that the weight gain is really hard for him, especially since I've lost weight, so I don't bother him too much about the snoring. I hope your husband understands that you try, but losing weight isn't totally easy. Try and stick with it for a little longer, and do some form of exercise to wake up instead of going ffor sugary foods. Try keeping those foods out of the house altogether if you can. That has been my saving grace b/c I am a junkfood junkie, but I just don't buy the crap so the temptation isn't there. If I have fruit around instead of chips, I'll be eating hte fruit! I hope you can be successful in your weight loss so you guys aren't arguing. But definitely ask him to be more supportive instead of critical, it can only help.

Thanks again for your comments .... I'm trying to be positive about evrything .... been really good today .... almost bed time now (in Australia) .... I'll also try to be good tomorrow .... and the next day ...

Sounds like you have sleep apnea to me too.  My sister has it and she's slim though!! She is going through a deep depression too!! She went and had a sleep study done and she stopped breathing like 20 times that night!! So yes you can have it when your heavier too.  Do you have insurance?? You could tell your doctor your suspect you have sleep apnea because of the snoring and that you don't feel good during the day.  They would probably do a sleep study on you.  She is on a c-pap machine that helps her breathe and she is doing so much better.  :)  Good luck!!


Clarice

You know, there is no shame is sleeping in separate beds if that's what works for your relationship at this point.  It sounds like the situation is putting one heck of a strain on your marriage.

I snore.  I snore more the bigger I get.  My husband wears earplugs.  Problem solved.

I agree that you should look into a sleep study, but a CPAP machine isn't exactly quiet.  You man is probably going to be pissed about that, too.

I'd say, look into a sleep study and either move out of that bed, move him out of that bed, or convince him to plug his ears.

I can't offer relationship advise, but I can let you know about my snoring experiences.  When I was at my highest weight (105+ kg), my snoring was so bad that it used to disturb my flat mate who was sleeping in another room! I felt humiliated by the whole thing.   I also smoked, and liked a glass or two of wine in the evening, and that didn't help matters.  Losing weight, exercise, giving up smoking, and dramatically reducing my alcohol intake has eliminated the problem completely.  I (and my flatmates) feel that the first 15 - 20kgs I lost made the most difference to my snoring.   And according to my most recent boyfriend, I don't snore at all any more.   Adapting a healthy lifestyle should help you, and you will find all the tools, information and support here on CC+.  Good luck xx

I have a case of severe sleep apena and yes, I am morbidity obese.  BUT > > > I also had the snoring problem when I weighed 116 lbs also.  It is the structure your body has in your esphagus. How elastic it is.

How to get a good nights sleep according to my doctors brochure: try to go to bed in a dark room.  Do not watch TV or be on a computer 2 hours before bedtime. Sleep on your side. And don't drink caffeinated beverages 4 hours before bedtime.  All of these probably aren't feasible, but that is what the brochure says to do.

I have other health conditions that keep me awake. But when I do get a good nights sleep I sleep good all because of my CPAP. The machine uses pressure to keep your airways open. And, DON"T believe the machine is louder than you snoring.  This simply is not true. My husband use to wake me up when he didn't hear me snore just to see if I am alive.

My snore was or is a strange sound.  I can't even spell what it sounds like.   My husband recorded me.   Than I recorded his.   He says I owe him years of sleepless nights because he has snored since he was in his 20s.  He has a deviated septum.    Often, I would wake myself up with my snore.  Several times a night!  I felt exhausted all the time.  I would think about going to bed that night.  It was my best part of life!  haha.  I have lost 22 pounds since using this site and I don't wake up so much any more.  I feel more rested in the AM.  He says he doesn't hear me anymore.  But it might be that he is busy snoring so loud - he's drowning me out!   As you lose weight I think your snoring will get better or possibly go away all together.   In the meantime, sleep on 2 pillows, buy him some earplugs and hang in there on eating to lose!   

You should see your doctor.  My older brother used to snore very loudly and after he started dating a nurse she got him enrolled in a sleep study.  It turned out that he had sleep aphnea - he had surgery to remove his tonsils, fix a deviated septum, and trim his uvula and doesn't snore anymore.  There are things that can be done for it, whether it's losing weight or surgery. :)

ps - you've done well with a plan before, so you know you can do it.  It's just extremely difficult to get over that psychological block of reaching for unhealthy foods and changing your eating habits.  Something that helped me was convenience - it doesn't take any effort to eat a cookie since its sitting right there, but healthy snacks alwayrs required some extra effort to prepare them. If I prepare them ahead of time, it's easier to choose it over a cookie.

Your symptoms definitely sounds like Sleep Apnea.   It is a deadly sleep disorder which is easily treated with a CPAP machine.   The fatigue you describe is caused by a lack of oxygen in your blood.   The work "apnea" comes from a Greek work meaning "without breath" and that's exactly what is happening.  I've had my apnea under control for about 7 years now.  I remember falling asleep at my desk, even at a stop light while driving.  It is a a leading cause of strokes.  Please, please get to your doc asap and have a sleep study done.  From the first night you sleep with your apnea under control, you'll be amazed.   And, you hubby won't be so annoyed because you will not snore anymore.  The CPAP takes about a week to adjust then you'll not want to sleep without it.

A sleep study is done in a medical facility where you are simply monitored while you sleep.  The sleep labs have rooms that look a lot like a hotel room.  They will first test without a CPAP, then they will test with one to determine the correct pressure for you.   Even some of the most fit football players have sleep apnea.  I will tell you that is very difficult to lose weight with untreated sleep apena becuase you simply do not have the energy to do anything.

 

Thank you everybody for your replies and support.

I struggle with sleep apnea.  My poor kids where so tired saying it sounded as the the walls were rattling by my snoring. And my husband did the jab thing several times a night too.

It took awhile before I was able to get my doctor to send me to a sleep study.  Best thing ever.  I now have a C-PAP machine that ensures my air passage remains opened so that I can breath without stopping and snoring at night.  My family is more rested and happier as a result, as am I.

My goal now is to lose weight to work my way off of the machine. 

I must admit the machine is awkward to wear at night but once you fall asleep it's no big deal.  Well worth it for me and my family.

Get tested for Sleep Apnea, it's a serious condition and you owe it to yourself.  Hang in there.

Also a sleep apnea sufferer.  Here is some more info on it.  When you suffer from sleep apnea, you are tired even after sleeping because your body wakes you up when it realizes that you aren't breathing.  As a result, you never reach REM sleep, which is the deep restorative sleep your body needs to feel rested.  Once I received my CPAP machine, I started sleeping properly and my snoring stopped.  As others have said, it takes a bit of getting used to sleeping with the machine, but the result is well worth it.  As for the noise of the machine, mine is not significantly louder than a ceiling fan or a humidifier and it doesn't bother my wife at all.

Everyone else has covered the sleep apena thing.  I wanted to tell you to hang in there.  It will get better with the diet.   Im not using his diet, but I did read Dr. Oz's book You on a diet.  I enjoyed it if for no other reason he is really funny.  But, he said some things I found interesting.

According to Dr Oz it isn't about how much we weigh or if we have the perfect "body type"  Its about how big our waist is.  as Dr Oz puts it, "its all about waist management."  If your Waist measures at 37 or above as a woman you are at a greater risk of heart disease.  35 inches puts you at the edge of increased risk and 32 1/2 inches or improves your chances to not get heart desease greatly.

Lower your waist size and you improve the chance of decreasing your snoring.  Don't let the scale get in the way of your progress but more importantly don't let images of fake women get in your way either.  They are botoxed, tummy tucked, boob enhanced women that if you could hear what all the slicon in their body sounded like they would probably squeek or swish or something. 

You are beautiful.  You are prefect just as you are.  For your heath sake you need to lose weight but, stop trying to compare yourself to women who don't even really look like what we think they look like.

Everytime I would get upset because I didn't like my knees or my freckles or thought I was to short and wished I could be taller,  My Great Grandmother would say "Remember, Beauty is as Beauty does and many times, though Beauty is on skin deep Ugly goes all the way to the core."   You are a beautiful person.   You do everything you can to take care of your home and family.   Now its time to take care of you.  But, don't ever let some artifical abitrary  number dictate to you how beautiful you are.   You want to know how beautiful you are, look at your baby and remember, you at least played a 50 percent part in creating that beautiful creature.   If shes beautiful then so too must you be. 

 

Hey Molly's Mommy

You sound like I have thought - too often.  Want to do this together?  I have started again this summer. First, I just can't have the cookies or sugary food in the house - if the kids want it - then I will get them a snack, IF we are out - otherwise - fruit, cheese sparingly, carrot sticks.

Try cutting one thing out at a time.  I am a big believer in Scarsdale - which has b een around forever - but...I personally have to work my way up to it - and do it slowly.  So I pick - will I cut out fried foods first or all white (those are my failings).  I have decided to cut out the white.  No pasta - dairy - etc - Don't spend money on something you can do with a buddy!

 Nadine