a little depressed..lonely
Sometimes I feel a little depressed and lonely. I have a four year old, twins who are almost three, and a new baby (8 weeks). It is not too bad, but sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed...(I know, I have my hands full...but it is my life). Plus, hating how fat I am doesn't help much. I was trying to think of something I could do as a hobby......but I can't think of anything that I like to do anymore. I don't have time to read, movies don't seem as good. Isn't that weird? I guess I just feel a little lost. What happened to me? Who am I? Even in these posts I always seem to identify myself as "the mom with a four year old, twins, and a baby", like that is ALL that I am. Oh well. I have a great support network, so I'll be ok. I just wondered if anyone else out there feels the same.
Sorry if this sounds like whining. I am just having a hard day.
First let me say; if you feel the need; see your doc for Postpartum Depression; maybe he can talk to you about how you feel; or refer you to someone that may help you. It may just be someone to talk to that you need; or some temp medication to help you along the way. But only a doc can tell you that. I urge you to go.
Other than that; maybe the "old things and hobbies" that gave you pleasure don't any more becuase you are at a differnt phase in your life. You CAN find something that interests you. Is there something positive, like yoga or pilates you can take? both are very good for the soul AND good for the body if you are trying to shed the baby weight from your 8 week old.
Just don't keep it to yourself. reach out to other; new mommies too- maybe you can find a playgroup to talk to other moms going through the same thing.
Sometimes the most healing thing to do is to take a walk; listen to some music and focus on your breathing. 20 minutes of that can do wonders. Since you're pressed for time with the babies; maybe have a dance party ( in know sounds silly) but you can play fun music and act like a little kid! I'm sure they would enjoy seeing mommy dance around with them!
Baby steps!! We are always here for you!
love and light, honey.
Hey Lulu,
I totally relate to what you are saying and a think a lot of moms can. I think what happens when we have kids is that we just don't have any time for ourselves anymore and we sometimes tend to start living our lives through our children instead of living our lives WITH our children. I think it is a natural occurence, children take up a lot of time and demand a lot of attention, and by the time you are done and have put the kids to bed for the day, then there are dishes and laundry and cleaning and .... and well, when are we supposed to have time for ourselves really? And heck, I only have one... you have 4!!! My day goes like this.... wake up ridiculously early, go for a run, get Coral up, get breakfast for both of us, get her ready to go to daycare and me ready for work, fight traffic, drop off Coral, work, pick up Coral, get her dinner, bath, hubby comes home, put her to bed, get dinner for me and hubby, dishes, whatever has to be done in the house, crash on the couch and relax for maybe an hour before bed and REPEAT. I sometimes feel like I am living in groundhog day because other than weekends, it doesnt change. And weekends aren't relaxing anymore either because thats when i run errands.
I have felt that I have a lost a bit of who I was after having my daughter as well, but I think thats natural too. Your life is meant to change somewhat after having kids. I think the important thing is not to totally lose who you are. Make sure you have some YOU time once in awhile (it won't be like it was before), but it is very important to have a break. Go out with your girlfriends and let hubby watch the kids for an evening, or even better, go out on a date with hubby and get a baby sitter for a few hours. Keep your head up, you will start to rediscover yourself as the kids get older and you have more time.
Thank you guys for your support and advice. Yesterday was just a really hard day.....we even had to have a family pet put down..... but I did it. I made it thru. Today is better. I try to take things one day at a time. And I have a babysitter arranged for Friday so we can go see a movie. A little time away from the kids and the baby will be a good thing.
I wouldn't trade it for the world. I would just like to win the lottery so I could afford a housekeeper to do the cleaning and laundry! That would be sweet. Oh well, probably not going to happen, but I can keep dreaming!
Thank you all for your support. It sure helped me get thru the day.
yeah, I want to win the lottery too, then I would NEVER do another dish or load of laundry AGAIN!
oh yeah... and I would buy a huge boat :)
I am a stay at home mom also. I have 2 kids, my son just turned 5 and my daughter is 2.5. I have no idea what I was like before they were born anymore. I feel like my whole world revolves around them (I guess it does being a stay at home mom). Some days are hard and long. You know how people say things drive them to drink, some days I say my kids drive me to want to work (outside the house that is). I do find time for myself though, that is important. Nothing that i use to do for fun is really fun for me anymore. I have found that I like gardening now though. That is also something the kids are getting into. They like to dig in the dirt with me. They have a pumkin and watermelon plant in the garden right now that is theres. They helped plant it and they are watching it grow. Now if I can get them to stop stepping on the plants we will be good to go.
I wish you luck on winning the lottery. I know I would do a lot with the winnings if I won. Maid,yes.
Good luck!
Thank you for your responses!
cmama, the cost of fertility is outrageous! That is part of the reason I am so stressed out also. We had to put it all on credit cards. So you can imagine our credit card debts is HUGE. We are still paying it off and probably will be paying it off for the next thirty years or so! Totally worth it though.
I remember those days of TTC. It seemed like EVERYONE around me was getting pregnant but just not me. Those are the times where you are happy for them, but then also a little angry too. "Why can't it be me", I would think. We used to tell people that we just didn't want to have kids, that way they would all quit asking "when are you going to have a baby?" "Do you want kids"? Those questions hurt so bad when your having sex every day all the time to the point where it isn't even fun anymore, for a negative preg. test, month after month! The fertility treatments were so much $$$ but SOOOOO worth it.
I will clean for hours also, but to no avail. The kids undo it in thirty seconds!
Good Luck. Keep you head up.
