Are Our Lives Destined by Fate?
I for the best part have always believed that we are in charge of our own Destiny, but I have had occasions to doubt this and wonder if Fate actually controls it!
I have set out on a path that I have thought was the best one to take, but then part way along it things would seem to turn against me and I feel like I am being pushed into taking a completely different direction.
Is it coincidence or is there something else at play to put me on the path that I should be on?
What are your thoughts?
i would never call it fate, because that's too...well, fatalistic.
i think that most of what happens to us reflects our true needs, desires, happiness/discontent, etc. that's not to say that i believe "everything happens for a reason" - one of the worst placations ever. but there are forces. we're part of those forces, and we influence them as much as they influence us.
and then sometimes there are coincidences ;)
anndjoe, my friend, when you find the right path, you will know it. i can't tell you how you will arrive at the trailhead, but you will know when you're there. in the meantime, it sounds like you're looking for the trailhead; just keep looking. not knowing the direction is not a good reason for not going. you know?
Sometimes I feel like I am just fumbling in the dark! I have gone down so many trails in my life so far, but on each occasion when I reach the end I realise that I am in the wrong place.
I don't believe that everything is for a reason, but I do believe that the major things are, and I think, well was I supposed to take that wrong path because there was something along it that I needed to learn? Something that I need to take with me when I do (if ever) find the right path.
It is so frustrating! I'm not getting any younger and it would be nice to find my life's purpose.
*wow I woke up all thoughtful and intense this morning ;-)*
anndjoe (and any time you want to take this to PM, i'll go with you, but if you're cool to do this here, so am i), i've fumbled in the dark most of my life. and you and i are pretty-much the same age, right? i'm 40.
i think everything we go through has the capacity to teach us something. but mostly we learn by teaching ourselves, you know? until very recently, my path has been almost entirely accidental. the last three years, i've been on a path (grad school, with a purpose), but now that i'm almost finished, i'm a little at the mercy of others. i need a job.
but...i found my path by working. try this, try that - find what has some meaning, what resonates....
yeah, it's not simple. but, hon, we're not old ;)
Ha ha on my server home page they put your daily horiscope on and this is what is says today.
Quote:
Just when you think you have everything under control, something jumps out and smacks you in the face, dear Libra. Emotions will hit like lightning today, so be on guard for surprises. You may find yourself butting heads with someone if you are not careful. Don't set yourself up for failure by expecting too much. If you are going to set expectations, make sure they are within reason.
Sometimes they just hit the nail on the head :-)
I do believe in Fate. And I do believe in Free Will.
I believe that on some level, we're already preset to explore life in a certain way. Certain things sort of feel fated to occur. Like.. you look back and you say "If this one event or this series of events hadn't happened, I'd never be where I am right now."
As a good example, if I hadn't decided on my own volition it was time to diet again, I'd never have gone looking for the calorie count of a cup of sunflower seeds and never ever would have found calorie-count.com, and never would have explored the community and met the people I did who have had a tremendous impact on my life. Now, here I am 2 1/4 years later and I can't imagine my life without CC as part of it, because it.. and the people I've met here and the friendships I've formed have become so integral to my life. Even if I actually left the site one day, I'd still keep the friendships I'd made and the relationships I'd formed.
But at the same time, no one forced me to go looking for the calorie count of sunflower seeds. I did THAT all on my own. Fate may sort of set a few things in your life in motion, but it's YOU that makes the decisions, all the decisions, every day of your life. That's free will.
Fate may have aligned things so that one day, I'd intersect with the calorie-count.com community, but it was me and my actions that made the place I made for myself here, my choices.
... a little long-winded, but I hope I made my point. :)
They used an example of meeting someone youd not seen in forever, especially in a place you'd not normally expect to be - say on vacation. One example was the range of everyone you've ever encountered, everybody including those you knew directly and their extended circles that you also knew like the sister you met of a boy in your 3rd grade class. Everybody.
As this extended mob of contacts continues through their lives, how unlikely it would be to NOT at some point cross paths with one or more of them.
When we feel a push to do certain things or make certain decisions, I feel its our inability to identify our reasoning that makes it feel like it comes from an outside source. Other times its not a push but just the results of circcumstances and how life plays out by our decisions. We could have made other choices and found ourselves elsewhere but we tend to feel theres a reasoning behind things.
Theres comfort in belief that the way things result is how they were 'meant to'.
I think a fantastic book for you to read, anndjoe, would be "The Bridge of San Luis Rey"
cant remember the author, but it is a FANTASTIC novel. quick read too
Original Post by hkellick:
I do believe in Fate. And I do believe in Free Will.
I believe that on some level, we're already preset to explore life in a certain way. Certain things sort of feel fated to occur. Like.. you look back and you say "If this one event or this series of events hadn't happened, I'd never be where I am right now."
As a good example, if I hadn't decided on my own volition it was time to diet again, I'd never have gone looking for the calorie count of a cup of sunflower seeds and never ever would have found calorie-count.com, and never would have explored the community and met the people I did who have had a tremendous impact on my life. Now, here I am 2 1/4 years later and I can't imagine my life without CC as part of it, because it.. and the people I've met here and the friendships I've formed have become so integral to my life. Even if I actually left the site one day, I'd still keep the friendships I'd made and the relationships I'd formed.
But at the same time, no one forced me to go looking for the calorie count of sunflower seeds. I did THAT all on my own. Fate may sort of set a few things in your life in motion, but it's YOU that makes the decisions, all the decisions, every day of your life. That's free will.
Fate may have aligned things so that one day, I'd intersect with the calorie-count.com community, but it was me and my actions that made the place I made for myself here, my choices.
... a little long-winded, but I hope I made my point. :)
HK that makes so much sense to me, and wasn't long winded at all. I think my biggest problem is I know I don't want to be where I am, but because I've got the wrong path more than once before I am almost scared to make a move just in case I pick the wrong one again.
Original Post by sun123:
When we feel a push to do certain things or make certain decisions, I feel its our inability to identify our reasoning that makes it feel like it comes from an outside source. Other times its not a push but just the results of circcumstances and how life plays out by our decisions. We could have made other choices and found ourselves elsewhere but we tend to feel theres a reasoning behind things.
Theres comfort in belief that the way things result is how they were 'meant to'.
This also makes sense to me, but still leaves me confused ;-)
Original Post by mercy_bobcat:
I think a fantastic book for you to read, anndjoe, would be "The Bridge of San Luis Rey"
cant remember the author, but it is a FANTASTIC novel. quick read too
I will have a look at that thank you
Original Post by anndjoe:
HK that makes so much sense to me, and wasn't long winded at all. I think my biggest problem is I know I don't want to be where I am, but because I've got the wrong path more than once before I am almost scared to make a move just in case I pick the wrong one again.
You don't want to be where you are? So start making moves, whatever moves you can make, to be where you want to be. :)
I don't think there's any wrong moves if what you're trying to do is be honest and decent and true to yourself. :)
You're a wise man Mr HK ;-)) Again very true.
Great topic. I'm glad you brought it up. I have pondered this question for decades. It used to drive me crazy. I was fascinated with the idea of fate when I first learned about the Greek and Roman gods. It's one of the things that drove me away from all religion. I remember learning that an omniscient god knew what you were going to do before you were even born, but you still somehow had free will. That used to make my head spin.
I don't believe there is fate in that you have no choice. What I do believe is that the universe will provide you with everything you need. When I am seeking for something and ask the universe to provide, it happens. I am given what I need. Sometimes it feels magical. Sometimes I don't recognize that what I've been given is what I really needed.
There have been times that I've wandered around oblivious to the fact the universe is supporting me and taking care of my needs. At other times I actively ask for things and have faith they will be provided.
I have also come to realize that no path I've taken has been the wrong path. No road has been a dead end. Sometimes I take the long and winding path. Sometimes I take a side trip that puts me back in the same place. It is all about learning and growing. Stretching. Evolving.
My favorite quote, I send to you now. "May the Force be with you."
Original Post by hkellick:
Original Post by anndjoe:
HK that makes so much sense to me, and wasn't long winded at all. I think my biggest problem is I know I don't want to be where I am, but because I've got the wrong path more than once before I am almost scared to make a move just in case I pick the wrong one again.
You don't want to be where you are? So start making moves, whatever moves you can make, to be where you want to be. :)
I don't think there's any wrong moves if what you're trying to do is be honest and decent and true to yourself. :)
HK there is much wisdom in what you write. I've found for me that sometimes I need to accept that I've made the choices that have put me where I am. I can then look at those choices and evaluate them and learn from them. Once I've accepted where I am, I can start moving towards where I want to be. Until I reach acceptance, I feel stuck and unhappy.
Original Post by anndjoe:
You're a wise man Mr HK ;-)) Again very true.
Sshh.. you're going to ruin my reputation!
Ha ha, I would never want to do that.
Moonikins) yeah I hear where you are coming from and thank you for the "may the force be with you" ;-)
I know what has been said is right, that no road is the wrong road, but sometimes it just feels like it is. I get tired of reaching yet another gate and still not being where I want to be, but I think that has more to do with not knowing where it is I want to be.
I don't regret anything I have done in my life so far I have learned something from it all and it has shape who I am today.
Wonder where PG went (I pm'd you)
I understand what you mean Andy. I am a Christian, so I do belive that my life is pre-ordained. I believe that, although God gave me free will, he already knows what I will choose and where that choice will take me. Whether someone believes in my God or not, I still think that we just have to try and live our lives the way we see fit. And as unrealistic as it may seem, hopefully there will be a positive outcome for us all.
i'm just curious andy, what makes you think that your life has a purpose?
or do you mean that your life will have a self-defined purpose, once you define it?
and are you mostly talking about your career or your relationship or your accomplishments or your family status or your possessions when you say that you're not 'where you want to be'?
:)
I think that our free will will make the path to our destiny but we will be what we were meant to be and do what we were meant to do...and andy...be with who we were meant to be with :-)
