Lonely christmas

Christmas day here in england is my best and worst day of the year.  I love it when my children wake me up all excited and open their presents (it's just been me and them for the last 7 years) but it goes downhill after lunch.  They go to their dads for tea - which is great because they should see him on Christmas day, but this is one of the few times when I feel very very lonely and my usual tricks don't work. I have not had a proper partner for a long time, mainly because I lack self-confidence and am not very trusting of people, which are issues I am working on.  In the past I have tried keeping busy and drinking alcohol, but nothing really works.

 Any suggestions to help?

Treat yourself to a nice long hot bath with lots of bubbles, an ice cold glass of wine and some expensive chocolates whilst the kids are away

Can you volunteer at a local shelter for the afternoon?  Maybe a women's shelter or a kid's shelter.  You'd be surrounded by people who appreciate your time and it would keep you busy for the afternoon.  You'd also be able to help out less fortunate people...people who don't have a dad's house to go to. 

Just a thought. Whatever you do, I hope you have a nice holiday! 

You could volunteer to help out somewhere; there are always charity Christmas dinners around.

You could come online and chat (NOT on a message board-- live chat or AIM!)

Do you have co-workers? What are they doing for Christmas? (Ask, there might be someone you could invite over!)

I think the main thing is not to be alone. It doesn't matter if you celebrate Christmas in the traditional sense-- obviously you aren't doing that anyway, so you aren't losing anything. I think that a lonely Christmas night isn't the problem here-- just that you're lonely in general, and god, I can relate to you so much!

I've found that even spending a little time with a friendly stranger is better than sitting aroud alone. Give a really good try at making some sort of plans that will put you in contact with other people. If you have to resort to calling up friends that you haven't talked to in years, just do it. What's the worst that could happen? I don't really have any other specific suggestions for you, but I hope you give us updates. Good luck!

((HUGS)) Been there, done that for years after my divorce.  I've done all sorts of things.  Sometimes I'd pamper myself as mentioned about or sometimes I would volunteer elsehwere.  It changed from year to year, depending on how I felt.

The final year I had this happen I rented movies that I wanted to see, got a good bottle of wine, some really good deli food, etc and spent the entire day in my pj's.  As a single mom, "me time" was very, very limited and it felt good to take care of me for a change.

Whatever you do, I hope that you get through the holiday ok.  (((HUGS)))

Cant really give much advice but just wanted to send a hug and some support.

Are any of your friends around in the afternoon, i know a lot of people head to the pub for afternoon drinks, maybe theres someone you can meet with. otherwise go for a run/walk, great way to burn off the christmas dinner and the endorphines should help kick the depressive black cloud. Most importantly dont sit at home in front of the TV drinking, youll end up feeling sorry for youself and its down hill from there.

My hubby has to go into work in the early evening on Christmas.  I plan to take my 6mo son and head over to the nursing home and visit with some of the old people that didn't get any Christmas visitors.  We'll have a good time, I won't feel lonely with noone to talk to, and the old people love it.  My husband works a lot of holidays so this is kinda routine for me.  You might give it a try. 

I suggest going with suggestion #1, 3,or 4. I don't think you can go wrong there. The holiday can be rough but don't let it get you down. 

Indulge yourself with through pampering yourself somehow. That may be through good company, food, entertainment, or a nice soothing bath with music. Whatever it may be enjoy your Christmas in comfort.

Happy Holidays.

Could you switch it up with your ex and celebrate Christmas together, or have them in the evening instead? Maybe switching up the routine might help.

You have to make other plans for yourself -- go to a movie or rent some or something. God, most of the people I know would LOVE if the kids (and families) went AWAY for Christmas and left them alone in peace. haha Gotta change your mindset.

Lol @ Alayney that's so true it cracks me up.

I agree... Indulge yourself.

AWWWW! Happy holidays to you...and your lonely self.Happy new Year,tooo,Much Success to You in Excess in 2008!!!!Make a list of 10 things like besides ,food  and alcohol , that you consider to be a simple pleasure. What are simple pleasures? I would say ,good sleep for 1. Brushing teeth, I enjoyed brushing my teeth soooo much,Gum massage2.  Playing with make up 3. A hobby I can do with hands 4. Footsoaker in warm bucket of bubbles everynte after the kids go to sleep for 20 minutes. I have nice feet now 5. A movie 7. Writing down goals & dreams in life 6. Art 7. Music 8.  Browing the net for clothes 9. Rock-N-Roll 10.

if you work you might know some coworkers that do not have family and you could go visit them and take them a little gift. i don't have money so when my ex took the girls, i would take the gift cards and flowers i got from my bosses and get gifts for people at work and take them to them. i would sit and visit for awhile. i always felt better then.

just a thought 

i like the feeding the needed though because you may find another lonely, kind sole such as yourself and wala no more lonely christmas's.

good luck and merry christmas to you!

kat 

"I plan to take my 6mo son and head over to the nursing home and visit with some of the old people that didn't get any Christmas visitors."

What a lovely idea this is!

When it was just my son and me and he'd go off to his Dad's family's Christmas dinner, I'd sometimes take a good, long bikeride if the weather were good. Getting in a long ride -- long for me is 20 or more miles -- is an indulgence, so that gave me something to look forward to. (And one cannot be sad while biking; it just isn't possible.)

Volunteering someplace or visiting people in nursing homes are great ideas.