Ever been lonely before?

After 23 years of marriage I am separated. At first it was a breeze. I loved it! I am going back to college to finish my degree in Psych. I should be on top of the world, but I am not! I have been separated about 5 months now and I find myself lonely. I miss adult conversations! One good thing about my Ex was that I could tell him anything because he didn't seem to care. He was a good sounding board! That was also frustrating as well because I never got any feedback too! ANYWAY!!!

Has anyone had a long relationship and then split up? What did you do to combat loneliness? I will not go back with him just because I am lonely!

My relationship lasted six years, nowhere near as long as your marriage, but I understand what you mean by loneliness.  I don't miss my ex himself, really, but I miss dependable companionship.

I try to spend as much time with my girlfriends and family as possible.  I've been reading a lot, walking my dog a lot, and reconnecting with old friends.  Sometimes I still feel very lonely (I often feel alone when I'm in bed, just before sleep)... but to me, the main thing to remember is to try not to fill the void with a substandard relationship, a substitute companion, because of the loneliness.

I guess... I'm saying try to keep busy.  Keep your chin up!

Oh yeah,

I don't think I even remember how to date! LOL! It is more like you said, "dependable companionship." It was not much, but I could count on him for somethings. I think I would be too afraid now-a-days to fill the void with substandard relationships or a substitute companion. Your idea was good but it seems as though family and friends are too busy as well!

Maybe I should go to the mall and a movie!

OMG YES! I was in a 6 year engagement and he just ran off one day. I had/have serious problems with trust after that.

I hate the loneliness though. I'm trying to get back in the dating scene but even after 3 years, it's still hard

Hi chubbygirl82,

I don't think I will ever date again. I would feel so guilty maybe, I am not sure. I am not looking for anyone anyways. I guess it burns me because my friends said they would stick by me....yeah right! I guess I need to make new friends and get on with my life. That is so hard to do because everyone associates me to my Ex! Many people don't know that we have even split up and when I tell them, they are floored! Oh well....Onwards and upwards as the saying goes!

Hi there

I was married for 25 years. I swore to myself I would not let this unhappy time ruin the rest of my life. But, things did go ever more wrong with a second marriage. After that, I didn't want to get involved in another man, ever!!

Til about a year later, my older daughter said 'come on, mum, it's time to start living again'.

I did just that, and joined a 'Net Dating Agency'. I am now very happily married for the 3rd time. But I know this guy is the best thing that has happened to me for years, thanks to my child.

In the meantime, I worked, played on net, dog walked, and was like you very lonely. I lived in Liverpool, my sister and brother lived in Hampshire. I had my girls, though. I still cared for my ex-husband of 25 years and he me. But no love there. He died two years after the divorce. 

Go out there, and find another love, take your time, don't rush. But don't let the unhappy times ruin the rest of your life. Be sure on your choice.