How long did you date before moving in with your SO?

If you are living with your SO (not married), how long did you date before making the big move in?

Three and a half months.

Original Post by priceless7:

If you are living with your SO (not married), how long did you date before making the big move in?

4 years and 3 months >.<

i was 17 when we started dating though.. :P

about 5 months or so.  Cant remember as it was 20 years ago

There is no right answer as to when to move in together, and it all depends on the relationship.

The hubs and I lived together before getting married. We officially moved in together after dating for 10-11 months or so, but had known each other for years and were already planning to get married at that point.

I had lived with one man previously, after dating for a year or so. He was a good roommate but a crappy boyfriend, and we split around a year later.

Based on my personal experiences, I would seriously recommend only living with someone you plan on spending the rest of your life with, just because the only thing worse than breaking up or moving is moving because of a breakup. The alternative of living with your ex (something that quite a few of my friends have gotten stuck doing) is a rare form of torture!

I live with mine already and am sure it was a good move. Just wondered about other people and what maybe the average was.

And definitely planning on being with this guy forever and ever! :)

When I met my bf, I had just bought my own condo so right away, he was spending several nights a week at my place. He kept his apartment (shared with a friend) but after about 6 months or so, he officially changed his address and moved into my place. The move-in was gradual though.

Not at all. He only wanted me if he could marry me.

Original Post by kathygator:

Not at all. He only wanted me if he could marry me.

 I definitely was not planning on ever moving in with any boyfriend of mine EVER! it was kinda like....if you want me there, we have to be married.

But circumstances did change. It worked out the way it did and I am no longer paying 550 dollars a month for a tiny apartment that I was never at anyway.

:)

it could go very well, it could go miserably.  doesn't mean you guys won't work it out.  living with someone is a huge (and important) step, IMHO.

esp. because my SO doesn't believe in cleaning the bathroom.... ;)

I wouldn't.

I like spending this time getting to know him, and having my space to figure my own life out. Working out stuff in me that could be a problem later for us, you know? I'll be married to him the rest of my life. ( I believe that) So no need to rush the me time into us time all the time. Plus I think I would feel really lame being stuck in a lease with an ex. It happens. I have a friend in a pretty whack situation right now.

Oh yea. And my mom would probably fly in from Cali to whoop my behind. Even though I'm grown. Cause she was never a fan and never will be. She calls it 'playing wife instead of being wife, or 'a cheap and easy alternative'. Kinda harsh, but I would hate to talk to her about it, and we are so close. I actually pretty much agree with her though. Not for me. I like my space for now.  My bf is also pretty traditional and I think respects me more this way. But to each thier own.

Around 4 months of dating I think is when we made the decision to move in together. When it actually happened was around 7 months of dating -- but we had decided to before then.

I have found stuff out about ex's that turned me off after 3-4 months. Couldn't imagine being in a lease  with them @ that point. Too much too soon for me, personally. That's why I see dating as ...'getting to know you, not combining my life with you. It can wait.

My BF moved in after 2 years of dating. That was a good time to make the leap for us, after 2 years we knew we were pretty committed to each other. We're still together (been 4 years total now) and now that we know we are good living together, I'm starting to think about marriage... I guess we are taking it kind of slow compared to others!

Original Post by april_bride:

Around 4 months of dating I think is when we made the decision to move in together. When it actually happened was around 7 months of dating -- but we had decided to before then.

 this is exactly how it's going for me right now! we've talked about it (we've been together 4 months) but it probably won't happen for a few months. i'm really looking forward to it though, it just feels right. 

My bf (of 7.5 years now) and I started living together sometime in the first 6 months we were together, but it was an informal arrangement (no shared lease) at the beginning.  We weren't able to make it a stable thing until our second year of college, when we convinced the authorities to let us share a dorm room.  Such rebels ;P

Original Post by jules817:

Original Post by april_bride:

Around 4 months of dating I think is when we made the decision to move in together. When it actually happened was around 7 months of dating -- but we had decided to before then.

 this is exactly how it's going for me right now! we've talked about it (we've been together 4 months) but it probably won't happen for a few months. i'm really looking forward to it though, it just feels right. 

 It's working really well for us jules817. It has now been, um, maybe 5 months of living together and we've had no major issues. There has been a LOT of stress in our lives, both of us, and it's only brought us stronger as a couple and closer together. I mean life stress, not relationship stress (like me selling my place, that kind of stuff). I am a person who really needs my space. I was not 100% sold on the idea of moving in so qiuckly. The last time I lived with someone was a long time ago - LONG time ago. He ended up being abusive and it's a long story - I had dated him for years before we moved in. It was very hard to get out of and as a result I'd said never again.

But this time, it really felt right and I'm glad I did it. We're getting married in April!!! Never pegged myself to be one of those people who would move this quickly on all fronts - moving in, marriage, etc. But what they say is true: when you know, you know -- it's right and I have no reservations about any of it. :)

I think everyone is different. I would never pass judgement on someone else for moving in too soon, or not moving in until marriage. Everyone is different. For me and my fiance, though, this has worked really well for us.

I will say now that even though I never thought I would do this again, I'm glad we've lived together before getting engaged or married. It's helped me to be sure that is is the right thing for me, to marry this mine. I didn't have doubts before, but now I am even more sure.

Well, pretty quickly after we started dating I was staying at his place almost every night.  I officially moved in after I sold my house about a year into dating.

With Almost-Wife (1984), it was 8 months.  We lived together for almost 3-1/2 years.

With Wife #1 (1988), 3 months.  We were married for 8 years, but I don't think we spent more than 6 months at a time living together!

With Wife #2 (1998), it was a full year.  We've been married for 10 years +.   

So obviously, there's no pattern- it just depends on the 2 individuals and how they feel about things.

i agree with flonkar.

3 months. we're getting married this june (we will have been together for 4 1/2 years at that point).