Long Distance Relationships...

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years, but in the last 11 months we have only spent 3 of them together. This was due to him saving up money and taking a flight to Finland (he lives in California) and spending the maximum time with me before it was illegal for him to stay any longer... It's tough to manage with this distance, just makes me realize how easy other people have it and how the readily abuse their relationships and take them for granted. I mean, if I had the chance to just be in his presence, I would feel like I was being given a precious gift and would be so afraid it would slip between my fingers too soon.

I have acquired this mentality that it's nearly impossible for us to be together, last month I even tried to fly to California to live with him, but in London I was refused passage to USA (being that I was an American citizen, travelling with a Finnish passport-though I am a dual citizen...) Anyway, since then things have been hard. I am working on getting my American passport, and if all goes well (the U.S. embassy is infested with a lot of jerks...) then I could be in California in the next 3-4 weeks. I am so excited!

To make time move quicker, I have grown absolutely addicted to this website... Counting calories is just another simple task to consume the days.

I love sleeping though, it may sound a bit strange but when I sleep I always dream of him and the closeness offered in sleep always makes me want to over sleep for hours... :)

I'm just curious if anyone else is in a similar situation and can relate to mine, and it would be lovely to talk to people who are going through this task of being with someone separated by time and distance.

I'm not going through it now, but I did go through a similar situation before I got married.  My husband is English and I am American.  We couldn't legally live on the same continent until we got married.

The long distance relationship was definitely tough!  Honestly though, we're a much better couple for it.  You are right when you say that other people take their relationships for granted.  Me and my husband have managed to avoid that, even after marrying, because we know how much it sucks to not have the other person around.  Everyone always remarks on how in love we are, and I put that down to all the sacrifices we had to make for each other just to be together.

I definitely feel your pain!  It's not easy, but if you truly love each other, this will be SOOO worth it in the end!  Good luck!

Oh, and there ARE a lot of jerks at the Embassy.  Ugh!  It's no fun dealing with those people (no offense meant to anyone that might take offense).

Been there done that. A couple of times. But I have to admit both of us have been illegally in each other's countries at various times. So a few times we had to be seperated & a few times one of us had to play the illegal immigrant.  We've tried many times to be legit in each other's country, its so hard and unfair at times. I've had so many dealings with immigration over the years it isn't funny. It sucks.  But at least you have some hope with getting a passport. I'd say winters will be a big change for in California. I'm from there & I've been to Finland too.

Been there!  My husband and I were long distance most of our relationship and even our first year of being married.  Granted it was just 207 miles that first year of marriage so MUCH Better then the thousands that were wedged between us before that.  It was hard but I think it makes you appreciate each other more.  If it helps any, we've been married 10 (going on 11 in Oct) so it's possible.... and contrary to popular belief, can last a lot longer then people think.

I'd heard all the negative themed advice.  "won't last" "get out now" "when you're together it'll be a train wreck" etc.  and all of it was dead wrong.  Wasn't easy but every bit of it was worth it!

Before I read this thread I thought MY long distance relationship was hard. We're only an hour apart. I don't work, and he goes to school. We both live at home.. but I can easily go spend days with him. When money is there.

But I can still understand how bothersome it can be when people take their relationships for granted. My best friend's boyfriend lives on a bus route in our city. All she has to do is pay two dollars to go see him. Granted it's a long ride because of the stops and routes and whatnot.. but two dollars! And she'll say "Oh I don't want to go over today, I can't get a drive". If I could do that to see my boyfriend I would do it every day.

I truly wish you good luck with this.. And I really hope that your passport troubles are sorted soon.

I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half and we've spent only 45 days out of that time together. So, yeah, I'm nuts and yes... It's hard. I can completely relate. I'm flying over to him in August and going to be there for 3 months.

We're making it work... It is bloody difficult but if there's a will, there's a way. We still have a little while before I can move in with him as I have to turn 21, but it'll get here soon enough.

Me and my husband were in this situation a long time ago. I ended up moving to England to be with him but my visa expired after 6 months, so I had to go back to the US, and then I applied for a 2 year visa and moved back to the UK another 6 months later. After almost a year living there we decided to sell our home and move to the US, which is where we're living now. The only reason I moved to the US is because I wanted to be closer to my family. I'd prefer to live in the UK instead.

During our times apart, we talked via mic over msn with webcam. =D I also emailed him every night before I went to bed to his work address and when he got to work he had my email to which he would reply. We also bought and sent eachother presents. Just did the little things to make us as close as possible.

I've been with my husband since 2002 (long distance 2002-2006), been married since 2006. We made it work, it takes alot more effort than a regular relationship, but it's worth it. :)

Original Post by brtaylor:

Oh, and there ARE a lot of jerks at the Embassy.  Ugh!  It's no fun dealing with those people (no offense meant to anyone that might take offense).

I second this. =/ They're all very rude and condescending towards you too when you talk to them. =/ I felt like I was being drilled to death... I just wanted a 2 year visa to live in England with my HUSBAND... oh the horror!