How long did everyone wait until Baby #2 came around?

No, not pregnant.  But planning.

Would like to know:

-  How far apart are your babies/children?

-  When you decided to have your 2nd; were you working full time?

- When you were working full time, how long was your commute?

- Did you end up going back to work; or take an abbreviated schedule?

-  How much longer were your mornings/was it stressful getting out of the house?

- Did you have more guilt going back to work even more than you did after having your 1st baby?

- Did you end upt keeping the same day care situation and add your 2nd baby to the "plan"?

- Did you hire someone to come in and clean once a week?

Obviously I'm thinking, planning, debating, considering :)  I have an amazing quick-fast-go- to the MINUTE plan in the morning with Julia .... we have it down pat.  No distractions; pure planning out everything at night-  super-duper organized.  I'm even impressed with myself.  Just would like input on how Baby #2 threw everyone for a loop :)

I appreciate your stories!

A second baby will always throw everything for a loop! LOL!

We started trying when my first was 1yr old. It took 7mths to fall pg and there is 2yrs 4mths between them. It's a nice gap. The eldest was old enough not to 'play' with the baby (apart from the odd hug/slap! LOL!) and now they're a little older she's pretty protective of her baby sister?

I work full-time and did commute 15mins from home to work- it's now a 25 min commute becasue I have a school run now. It's easier for me though because I work in my family firm and my Mom is my childminder. The eldest is at school now until 2pm, and the 'baby' is in a creche 2 days a week to give my Mom some free time.

Routine wise, it's pretty easy to add a second to the timeline- but always allow 'extra' time for dithering/last minute diaper changes/spilled juice on clothes etc.

I did have a cleaner once a week for a while, but she returned to eastern europe to visit family & never came back. I never got around to getting another and have learned to manage. My house will never feature in 'Good Housekeeping', but I'm not embarrassed to have visitors, so I'm doing fine I reckon? LOL!

HTH a bit?

My daughter turned 4 about six weeks after my son was born. Honestly, we wanted to wait longer because of our financial situation. However, we knew we didn't want them to have too much of an age gap like the 7 years between my husband and his sister. We have a lot of support from both sides of our family and IF we were to get into a tight financial spot, we would have help from our families. We have yet to need help, though! I think the age gap has been great because my daughter has actually been a HUGE help around the house. We started trying in January expecting it to take several months to get pregnant because of my birth control. Nope. First try.

I work full-time and have about a 10-minute commute. Mostly highway. I live in the suburbs, though, so there is a commute EVERYWHERE!

I went back to work. I had no choice--we need the money! (see the daycare question, too)

It does take some extra time in the morning. Getting two kids ready and (personally) nursing one of them really adds to the routine. It wasn't a difficult adjustment for us to make, though. Having the routine down with #1 really helps! Stress? Only on the mornings when someone doesn't get enough sleep!

I felt more guilt because I couldn't spend as much time with Emma. She is definitely a mama's girl! I cried every day for a week when we came home from the hospital because I couldn't seem to spend any time with her. Children are resiliant. We're just as close as we were and she plays much better by herself now! Oddly enough, I didn't feel much guilt because of leaving John to go back to work. Probably because he was with my grandmother.

When I was pregnant with #2, my grandmother was still watching Emma (free daycare!). About 8 weeks before John was born, we moved Emma to a preschool/daycare. When I went back to work after John arrived, my grandmother started watching him every day. Having to pay for only one child in daycare is a life-saver. If we had to pay for two kids in daycare, I wouldn't work. My entire paycheck would go to daycare and that's just silly.

Hiring someone to clean our house isn't an option. We just can't afford it. Our house gets pretty messy but we make sure that we speed-clean three times during the week (hubby and I clean as much as we can in a 20-minute period), clean the kitchen every night and do major cleaning on the weekends (laundry, bathrooms, vacuuming, etc.). As Irishmum said, my house will NEVER be seen in a magazine. It looks lived in and, honestly, I'd rather spend time with my kids than have an immaculate house.

Good luck with the planning!

My second child was born 15 months after the first. I thought that because I was nursing they would be spaced father apart. yeah that worked real well.   My third was 12 months later and very much a surprise. From my experience the closer the better the relationship the children have with each other. Buy only do it if you can handle it stress wise. there will be more work but as time goes by which it does very fast. they seam to entertain themselves and enjoy each other and that makes it all worth it. 

I am a stay at home mom. I found that waking up with my husband at five gives me time to workout and plan for the day ahead. Planning ahead will help tons. even down to dinners and housekeeping. 

the second will throw you for a loop for several days but you sound organized and will find a way that works for you. I don't have someone come clean for me but I do have a system that works for me. In the evening while the kids a awake I only worry about dishes and after supper clean up. That way we spend time together with the kids. when the kids go to bed I pick up their room while telling a story or when dad reads to them. after that is pick up house and vacuum. As far as floors and bathrooms go, I do them as needed keeping wipes under the counters and mops handy. 5-15 mins here and there during the week will get the job done. If you plan on working I feel that the husband should help out. Especially to take the kids for few min so you have time to yourself.

All I have to say is its totally worth it. Good luck

For me I would have prefered 3 years between the first 2.  After my son was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy we decided to hold off unitl he started school.  We knew that he would be in full days so daycare wasnt much of an issue then.

So our 2nd was born when my son was 4 yrs 9 months old

We also decided that after 2nd was born I would go back to work fulltime as daycare would have been a mortgage payment each month and since our son has special needs could have even been more expensive.

My work day was way too long as well and I wasnt going to sacrifice their time with me for work.

As for stress, my situation is slightly different with a disabled child so not sure how much easier 2 would have been with a child who could have done simple tasks on his own.

The 2nd and 3rd are closer in age 3 yrs 5 months apart

I have been home since Oct. 1999, doing home daycare since May 2000.  While I miss sometimes going to work I wouldn't have changed the decision we made back then.

Original Post by bier:

As Irishmum said, my house will NEVER be seen in a magazine. It looks lived in and, honestly, I'd rather spend time with my kids than have an immaculate house.

Exactly! Life's too short to worry about a 'showhouse' home! 

My daughter is almost 3 1/2 and our baby #2 will be born on 12/28. Currently I get up at 4:30 AM and we are all out of the house by 6:15. We have a 50 minute commute.

I do like the age difference in the kids because my daughter is somewhat self sufficient-dressing, feeding, playing. I plan on continuing what I do now, putting together whatever I can the night before-clothes, lunches and now will add diaper bag. The way I figure it, my husband can get up a little earlier to help with the new addition on work mornings-I get up early enough!

my house will NEVER be a showhouse.  Not with all the laundry!!!!!!!

4:30AM??  I thought my 5:30AM was early.  I get up on Fridays at 4:30AM to clean.  mgehansmommy-  do you drive for 50 minutes; or do you take a train?

lots of good advice/stories/sharing on here.  Just like having one; I'll be thrown again with #2-  would like to have them three years apart; so I wouldn't start trying until after she turns 2 in July. 

I have to crack down on getting my body in shape a little bit before I get pregnant again.  Don't ask me how-  there's just no time for the gym.  And, I don't get a normal lunch at work; so going to the gym during the day is not an option.

Why can't I find a 24 hour gym??  I would go at 4:30AM.

Mine are 2 years, 8 months apart.  They are both girls, and very close.

I think about 2.5 years is the "optimum" in spacing, because the oldest is old enough to not need mommy so much when the little one comes (and close to being out of diapers!), but they are close enough to have similar skills and interests.  I think it helps that mine are both girls.

I stay home with mine - but my house is a wreck too!  I think, sometimes, of having some time with grown-ups, and if I was more outgoing I'd join a playgroup, but it is nice to be home and with the kids.  I'm fortunate we were able to manage it.

My oldest started kindergarten this year, and getting both of them out the door is a struggle.  I pretty much have to get myself ready, then keep an eye on the oldest while I get the youngest ready.  I can't wait 'till the kindergartener learns to tie her shoes!!

Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

If I could get pregnant with Baby #2 this July, when Julia turns 2; they would be 2 years 9 months apart; and I could have a May/June baby with an great maternity leave having the summer off for work.  I know everything doesn't always go according to plan; I guess I'll just not go on my pill for July- 

i really have to go back to the gym.  But, if that's not a goal-  I don't know WHAT is!!

Vanessa

The drive is 50 minutes with 10 minutes included for dropping my daughter off at daycare. No train available yet. The Governor is trying for one. I had to chuckle at your last post about when you would like to have your next baby. I had my daughter in June, went back to work the day after Labor Day. It was great being able to be off all summer-walks every day. This time I am having a baby on Dec 28th. Oh goodie.  Guess I have 3 months to stay in the house until all baby weight comes off!