This is a long journey how can I make it

So something clicked in my head I realized I am doing this for myself and that getting bigger is only going to make any emotional or health issues worse that I am getting older and this isnt how I want to live. I decided to start strong TODAY! and arm myself with all the weapons LOL I have reviewed my past with dieting and remember what made me fail in the past and found a solution for it and I am feeling pretty confident. But how in the world can I stop thinking about how this is going to take so long and how I have to take one day at a time and how there will be weeks where i will only loose 1 lb!!!! I cant get past, loosing weight when done the right way calorie control and excercise is so hard, it makes you stronger in so many ways but SO HARD! So ladies and gents please share with me how you make it through the day what do you tell yourself what keeps you on track motivated? what keeps you away from that slice of pizza, wings fries on friday night when everyone is eating and you know you are out of calories and have no where to go but sit in your room all alone and watch TV! How do you convince yourself that staying away from food will actually pay off.

You take it one day at a time.

In reality there is nothing in life but the moment you are living RIGHT NOW.  So every time you are faced with a struggle or a difficulty remind your self to make the best choice for NOW. 

If something does not work - you try something else.  If you fail today, you don't have to fail tomorrow.  Just one step at a time.

Do not say "I will never eat cake again", instead say "I will not eat this cake today or now".  The burden is smaller when you take it bit by bit and day by day.

madamq, that is really good advice!! I will keep this in mind! Thank you!

Original Post by madamq:

You take it one day at a time.

In reality there is nothing in life but the moment you are living RIGHT NOW.  So every time you are faced with a struggle or a difficulty remind your self to make the best choice for NOW. 

If something does not work - you try something else.  If you fail today, you don't have to fail tomorrow.  Just one step at a time.

Do not say "I will never eat cake again", instead say "I will not eat this cake today or now".  The burden is smaller when you take it bit by bit and day by day.

 

Also, if you eat cake, dont dwell on how much cake you have eaten. Move on and know that people make mistakes, but they learn from them.

It might help to say, I will learn how to have a small piece of cake and be satisfied; rather than tell yourself never to eat cake again. That works for me.

Another thing that I have heard is the 10-10-10 rule (I know a woman has written a book about this, but I cannot remember her name).  Basically, you have to sit back and think about wether or not your decision will make you happy in 10 minutes, 10 days, and 10 years.  This has helped me with my crisis moments in the evenings when I want to munch on sweets in the evenings.  If your decision is wether or not to eat a piece of cake, for instance, you'd probably say that in 10 minutes, you'd be happy and full of delicious cake.  In 10 days, you'd be at the same weight as you are today, or further behind than you could be if you hadn't eaten the cake.  In 10 years, the results of that piece of cake (and the successive choice to eat more cake) could lead to health problems - both physical and emotional.  Anyways, the 10-10-10 rule makes you take a second and really evaluate your motives before stepping forward.

Stay Strong!

Out of curiosity noemi21 - why do you think losing weight this way so hard?

Is it that it takes time and you want to be thin NOW?

Is it calorie restriction in general?

Is it because you tried to change everything in a day?

I hope you post back and explain why you find this so hard.  The people on this board are really savy and probably have some good insight on how to make the process easier for you. 

Why is it so hard?

Maybe mine is an unpopular opinion, but I don't think it's so hard. I think that the hard part was overcoming my ignorance and lack of education about proper diet and exercise. Once I did that (and CC's tools made a world of difference for me) I have not found losing weight the right way hard at all.

So my tips for losing weight "the right way."

1. Find your weak points and strategize how to work with or around them.
2. Learn how to eat within your calorie limit without being hungry. For me that meant changing a lot of things - eating more fruits and veg, dropping pastries (alas for I love them so,) eating breakfast, learning how to keep healthy snacks around, etc.
3. Learning to say no most of the time, but also learning how to say, "Yes, I'd love a piece of that birthday cake, but can you just give me a really small slice?" and "Yes, I'd love to have dessert while we're out at this lovely restaurant, let's just share one." 
4. Learning to look for opportunities to sneak in a bit of exercise, and by exercise I mean things like, "I need to pick up some more milk. Rather than getting a ride, I'll just walk the few blocks to the store, enjoy my neighbors' roses along the way, and walk back." Those little things add up like you wouldn't believe.
5. Learning portion control. OMG what a hard one that is because of the way our ideas of portion size have become so radically distorted. I measure most things if I haven't measured them so many times that I can now reliably eyeball them. I have a decent digital food scale and use that often, too. I changed up my dishes as well, to use my huuuuuge plates and bowls less often so a rational serving of something doesnt look lonely sitting alone in the middle of a giant plate.
6. I didn't let myself get overwhelmed by how big a task was in front of me. When I started, I weighed 227 pounds. I couldn't, could. not. say "Gee, all I have to do is lose 70 or 80 pounds." If I'd done that, the task would have been too huge and I would have given up. I know this about myself. I couldn't do that. The thought that I would stilllllllll be watching my calories after a year? Uh uh.
   
   So I didn't do that. I just went ahead and said, "Let's take this ten pounds at a time. Let's enjoy each milestone on its own merits. Let's remember that 210 is a helluva lot better than 220 and that 200 means that 199 is just around the corner." I've been doing this for nearly 11 months now and I'm down to 160, which is lower than my highest high school weight and is a weight I haven't seen in more than 20 years. And that's been done one pound at a time, one day at a time.
   
   There have been weeks where I put a wee bit of weight back on, even when I was being scrupulously good. I just marked it down and kept going. 11 months and 67 pounds. Sure, I'd love to be done already, but I also love what I've learned about myself and my self-control and about healthy foods and healthy eating, and in taking "so long" I've also had more time to enjoy all the compliments and support I've gotten.
7. If you know you're going to have friends over on Friday night and they're going to be eating and you're going to be suffering, DON'T. Learn how to budget your calories during the day so that you have calories left on Friday night to have some wings and hang out with your friends and family. Use CC to find recipes for wings that won't make you throw your night out the window calorie-wise. Or give yourself permission to have an occasional cheat day where you don't stress the calories and you enjoy yourself and you get back on the wagon the next day. Doing it occasionally isn't going to ruin your life, your diet, or your self-respect unless you allow it to.
8. Accept that you are human, that food tastes good, and that sometimes you aren't going to be perfect. Don't expect that you will be or that you have to be perfect. When you fall off the wagon, get up the next morning, brush yourself off, get that chocolate off your mouth ;) and get back up and get going again. You will need that attitude to do it for the long haul.

Good luck.

for me, the first few steps were about fitness and health, not about weight.  i started a run/walk program, and for ten weeks i tracked my sleeping, appetite, and productivity, and journalled about how i was feeling in general.  weight loss was a welcome side-effect, but it wasn't my main goal. 

by the time i'd completed my ten weeks, of course, i'd lost a few pounds and was feeling significantly better.  from there, it was relatively easy to maintain momentum and keep going.

I really relate to your post.  I have been on again and off again for a long time now.  The last success story was almost a year ago and I was down 23 pounds and going strong and a very close friend died unexpectedly.  since then one roller coaster after another.  Until now. My new motto is "Is it really worth being fat for that?"  that has already gotten me out of a few tight spots.

2nd.  It is better to set your goals but not to stay focused on a year from now.  Set small goals that will give you something to work for, a sense of accomplishment and a satisfying reward.   

Now look at each day - today is enough to worry about, It is over whelming to look at a long time -because then it seems longer.  When I quit smoking each day was agonizing and then I heard that it would be a year before I could really claim to be free and that seemed like a really long time.  It flew by!! Now it is 2.7 years and it seems like yesterday.

This time that you take for yourself is short stacked up to the rest of your life.  It is a time for discovery and the wonderful sense of accomplishment that comes with each small victory.  Don't let it overwhelm you - instead stay focused on the prize.  Smaller cloths - healthy body and an awesome journey. 

It is not how long it takes to run the race but rather did we finish the race and did we finish with integrity.

Noemi, I cannot relate to your situation, but this is my motto: enjoy life, and don't worry so much about the smaller things, we don't have the time for that.

You sound quite rushed to loose weight, but why? Life is too short for us to worry about our physique so much. By stressing yourself out, you may only be counteracting your hard work. If you wish to eat cake, eat it, but only a small slice and hopefully a low fat cake. :) Save the rest for later, and use it as a reward system. You can reward yourself by giving yourself a small, 100 calorie treat everytime you work out for a good couple of hours.

You have a long journey ahead of you, and if you wish to make it, you cannot tire out your horses too early. In other words, don't wear out your will to improve upon yourself. Do not go too extreme with dieting or exercise, because the only way this will work is if you find a healthy diet. I have faith in you and I wish you and everyone else who wishes to lose weight luck on your quests.

I think dreadfulpenny said it all really well, and other posters have given excellent advice too.

I'd like to add...when you look at it like a race to a finish line, it seems unimaginably, depressingly LONG. I really had to change my mindset about this to succeed. For me, there's no finsih line...this is just how I live now. I make healthy food choices, I keep exercise in my life, I count everything to make sure I am maintaining a good calorie deficit, not too high not too low. This is how I live, and I am so much healthier and happier for it!

It's really important to enjoy your life...without that, of course you will "fall off the wagon", who wouldn't? There are lots of ways to change your lifestyle in ways that are enjoyable and sustainable for life. I love to cook, so i take a great deal of pleasure in coming up with lower-calorie, nutricious AND delicious dishes. I can (and will) eat like this forever. And you know what? Last time I ate chicken wings, they were so much greasier and not nearly as good as I remember, compared to my low-fat version of them. Your tastes WILL change. It just takes time and a commitment to a healthier you.

Hi Noemi21,

If you focus on the weight loss it can be frustrating.  I challenge you to choose health.  Take one day this week and go to a nursing home for one hour, you just may choose to look at life differently.  Then look for the "WHY" to get healthy.

"WE CAN AND DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE"

John FaMis

I thought about like you and sometimes I'd really do well. For months in fact and loose a  nice amount. Recently I was diagnosed with diabetes and that has changed my whole life. They figure I got it about a year and a half ago.

My mom went 15 years before being diagnosed with diabetes and had all the damage. Retinopathy-vision that becomes increasingly dimmed with blood vessels that burst. Cardiomegaly-enlarged ineffective heart. Cardiomyopathy,etc etc.

Mom never had a chance to stop the damage. I do. I can totally turn my health around.

I guess I'm trying to say, don't wait.

good job. there is an another kind of motivation. check it out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUkcB8sEncg

You say to yourself - my joy is my own - food is just fuel. Fun is monopoly or karaoke or sugar free jello with fat free whipped cream or crisp apple slices arranged beautifylly with peanut butter on a glass plate with mint spring leaves or a tbs of fat free caramel.

My favorite thing in the world is for the people eating greasy fattening foods to look at my plate and lean over and go "What is that, it looks really really good!" And I say, "It is and it's great for me! While they are eating, I would stir fry shrimp and vegetables, sprinkle lemon juice over it and drink crystal light from a wine glass with ice (painted wine glass with your name in calligraphy on the side) - You become the special one, not the "punished" one in her room.

What helps me is to plan my food for the next day, taking time to find new and exciting things I can eat off of the menu and trying to get an "A: for the day while still having a treat. I have a weakness for chocolate so I eat Slim Fast snack bars (120 calories and loads of vitamins) after dinner or lunch.  

Very satisfying! And remember us here - we send you our love and our support and we believe in  you - one day at a time!

i would also add - overcoming temptation for the first time makes you better armed for overcoming it the second time, overcoming it for the 50th time makes you stronger so you can do it the 100th time.

yes, we all struggle. i tghough i had it covered when suddenly i found myself re-gaining a big part of what i had lost and now have to re-lose lots of pounds. so it is not forever. but i do feel the journey was a very interesting experience the first time, and will be now, too.

edited to ass: reading these forums is very helpful also for the fact that different things wre working for different people. some people like having a huge goal and doing many changes at once, some like smaller goals and gradual change. some like deciding they will give up, say, chocolate, because they cannot stop after a reasonable amount, some say it is better for them to have a small portion. it is great to have these many experiences and views because you can choose things that are suitable for you.

the beginning is the hardest but once you start to see the rewards it becomes so much easier 

i also have come to enjoy food shopping! before it was a mindless chore but now i enjoy the challenge of discovering new healthy alternatives.

just stick with it a day at a time.

Dieting is so very hard at times...most of the time...especially when you are out to eat with friends. I just keep telling myself that "it is only hurting me when I cheat and eat something I know I shouldn't". It might sound stupid, but I also write myself little upbeat notes and compliments and tape it to the fridge or the mirror to remind myself that it will pay off in the long run!

I also found that making extra food and keeping it in the fridge for a snack when I need it, is also helpful! I will make a bowl of fruit, veggies, or chicken salad and have it on hand if I need a quick snack instead of eating chips or grabbing the ice cream container. It is still hard at times but this has helped me!

Also, I am new to this site and I find it so helpful to get on her and read the posts and it motivates me so much! When you know others are going through the same thing and finding out advice from others is always a HUGE help! Good luck!

I've spent a lot of time thinking about why past dieting efforts have failed for me, things that triggered me "falling off the wagon" - and though I can't pinpoint exactly what has made my motivation wane in the past, I feel like being aware that it happens helps me keep going every day.

Another thing I try to do is really think about how my body feels after different activities. After a run I feel pumped, ready to take on the world; I feel strong. After a bowl of spaghetti the other night (pasta being one of my fave foods) I realized that it felt like there was a brick in my stomach, and I felt kind of gross. Being aware of weaknesses and strengths seems to be helping keep me on track.

Plus I really love this site. =)

Good luck!

This is a perfect topic, because I have been feeling like this for so long.  After reading so many success stories I decided to post and get some support myself.  I have been trying to lose weight (seriously) for a year now.  I know exactly what needs to be done: the amount of exercise, food, etc, in order to reach my goal.  But I ALWAYS fall off the band wagon after a week.  And the guilt is excruciating.  I am the heaviest I have ever been my entire life, and it is disheartening to look at my now and then photos.  I know I need to let go of the past and focus on "now" and how to change, but I need some advice on how to stay on track.  I am counting calories, I even bought a scale to weigh my food.  I eat at home for all three meals so I don't have the problem of choosing the right foods when I eat out.  Though when I do get invited to a dinner, I can feel the fear of how it's going to ruin my diet.

I am very active, I train a martial art twice weekly, and have been taking other classes at the gym 2-3x/week in addition to my martial arts training.  So activities are not the problem, I have come to realize that it is my relationship with food and drinks that is the problem.  What advice can you guys give me, pls?  I am so ready for the commitment and, have reached my "now or never" moment, I just need to figure out how to stay focused!  Please help!

Noemi21:

I think like you most days in regards to "this is going to take so long". For me, I stop and think how long it took me to pack on the pounds that I have over the years and realize that it will take time to get back down to a healthy weight. It is just taking one day at time. I expect to have bad days, and I do, but then I get up the next day with a new determination and get back on track again.  I have only been doing this for about a month now and whatever I am doing is working! I weight myself only once a week, the same day/time every week and every week I have lost something. Even during the weeks I know that I did not exercise as much as I should have or I had that extra slice of pizza.  Just be sure to log in all your calories and all of your activity.  I have my favorite foods, pizza being #1..I do not restrict myself. If I know that I am going to have it, then I do a little more exercise. If I have it because I just cannot control myself, then I cut back my calories the next day. I have tried every diet you can imagine thinking that they were going to be easier then CC..I was wrong all those years and wish I would of tried this sooner.  It is easier then anything else...it may take some time, but that is okay. In the end it is all worth it! Good Luck to you..you can do it!