long-term relationships? need some advice..

so, i have been "with" this guy for basically the whole summer.  i am going to be a senior in high school this year and he will be a sophmore in college.  we have kind of had a thing for eachother ever since i was a freshman, but now i am really really into him.  we have talked about going out before and he even says that he wants me to be his girlfriend, but we are both a little scared of what will happen when he goes back to school at the end of august... has anyone been in a situation like this or just any long term relationship?? how did it work out??

Long-term or long-distance?
Long-term: go for it, if it's what you both want. Could be good. Wait, just to clarify, what's your age difference?
Long-distance: I've only had miserably terrible experiences, I'll defer to someone else.

your still pretty young, so I say go for it!  What can it hurt?  When i was 23 I met my husband (now) and we had a long distance relationship and we have been together for 19 years.

I think you should go for it. Give it a shot =] If it works then great, if not you can't kick yourself for not trying later.

I did this.. it didn't work for me... but I think that it was him, not me and just because it doesn't work for one person does not mean that it won't work for you... :)

your seventeen years old, for christ sake. Let it go. You need to be enjoying your time and now worrying about if a relationship is going to work.

Just my opinion. I am not sure about him, but at that age, guys have blinders on..

Did I just say at that age? I think all men wear blinders until they are graduates of the Bill's School of Treating Women Right! :)

I say just go with the flow. Try it. Can't hurt. Might fizzle out but there's no sense worrying about it. Really, I think the odds are stacked against you guys seeing as he'll be away at school -- lots of people there -- you guys will be apart, likely for extended periods ... gets lonely ... Then again if you're both "worried" then it sounds like you have no faith???

well i'm 17 and he's 19 so it's only a 2 year difference.  and i know i am pretty young and maybe shouldn't be too worried about this, but i just don't want to mess things up.  there is something about him that makes me like him sooo much and i don't even really know what it is. cause sometimes all i want to do is punch him in the face - but then i want to kiss him! haha its so weird.  but <b>alayney</b> you have a point.. maybe we dont have faith, but i think its more that we both are afraid to let ourselves trust another person..

oh and i meant to say long-distance haha i dont know why i kept writing long-term.. but i guess its long-term too

Long distance CAN work but the couple HAS to make the effort to see each other at least a couple times a week. If you're in a relationship and it's happy and healthy, there's got to be trust. If you have no reason not to trust each other, then try to. If anything it will be a learning experience. You won't know unless you try. Just be yourself -- you can't screw it up! If it's meant to be, it'll happen. If not, it won't. :)

Dating someone in college, while you are still in high school, can be difficult.  At that age things are changing constantly.   I would keep your options open, yet stay committed if he is willing to do the same.

its a sticky situation. if hes going to college, he will be experiencing a whole new lifestyle...especially if he will be living there. all new people, parties, etc...also, he will have a larger work load. so you will have to prepare youself for not seeing him as often but hopefully be able to see him a couple times a week/maybe the weekends. do you have a car? will your parents allow you to drive down to him? is he willing to drive down to your place? theres alot to think about... but hopefully it works out for you.

Pick up a copy of "He's Just Not That Into You."

If he wanted to make it work, his biggest fear would be not being with you, not going off to school.

Yep, I was dating a guy for about a year before we both went to college.  It last until about February (I had to break up with him before Valentine's day).  I just wasn't into him any more.  He went to a local college with all of his buddies and I went far away where I didn't know anyone.  I changed immensely and he stayed the same.  He even came to my house in June after the semester was over to try to get me to come back to him, but I just didn't love him any more. 

Is this how it is going to be for you, not necessarily.  It could be completely different for you.  Your relationship could last for a month or for the rest of your lives.  I highly recommend that you talk to him about all of this and see how he feels.  If you aren't comfortable talking to him about things like this then you are going to have to learn to if you are going to be in long distance relationship. 

I was also in a long distance relationship when i was your age, I went overseas as an exchange student while my boyfriend went to university. Well officially we had broken up, just in case we each found somebody else, but in reality we stayed in close contact. This was just before the internet got really big, and it was really expensive to call, and most of our correspondence was by real letters.

I would suggest that perhaps it would be easier if you had this kind of arrangment, particularly at your age. So that he will at least tell you what is going on, and neither of you need to feel guilty if you do meet somebody else. For us, It didn't end up working in the end, because when i got back i was going to another uni, and already knew i wasn't going to marry him, so there didn't seem any point in continuing. But still I am glad that we did stay in close contact for that year, and I still chat to him almost daily on messenger.

Now, I live in a world where almost everybody i know is in long-distance (generally different country) relationships. Most of which seem to be going pretty well. Okay we are all a bit older (mid/late-twenties) and for most of us there is a timeframe on the distance (2 years in, only 1 left to go), but that doesn't mean it can't be also possible for you.

Skype and messenger makes it possible to communicate without breaking the bank, and discount airlines make it possible to see each other also relatively cheaply. Although I wish we were together more often, it also has its advantages in that i can do as much work as I want, when I want, without worrying about somebody else, it means I work on my relationships with other people and have my own life, rather than falling into the role of starring only as the 'girlfriend-of-so&so' which many girls fall into. Depending on how much work both you need to do for your studies, you might actually find it quite convenient and that it encourages your studies.

so see how it goes and good luck!!!!!

This brings back memories!!

In 10th grade I started dating my brother's best friend, he was a senior. This was my FIRST LOVE. I was ga-ga over him, he was ga-ga over me.... we dated all year and then in the fall he went off to college a half a continent away.

We agreed on this: while apart, we'd date other people. Don't ask, don't tell. When in the same city, we'd get together and see if there was still any interest.

Well, we ended up spending every single summer, easter and xmas holiday with each other for SIX YEARS. Through my final two years of high school, and through all four years of college.

I would have steady boyfriends during the other months... and I'm sure he did his own share of dating while away at his school too. But, whenever breaks rolled around and we were both back in our home towns, those other people were quickly forgotten!! The flame between us was just too strong.

I didn't end up marrying him, however. He went on to graduate school, still long distance, and I settled in a job in my home-town area. I met my first husband, we had a whirlwind romance, and I got engaged to someone else. The next time I saw my first love, I was very pregnant with my first child, but darn it if the old feelings weren't still there. We deliberately did not fan those flames.

My first love eventually settled back in our hometown, by then I'd moved away to a different state. He eventually married. I was invited to his SIL's baby shower, and I got to meet his new wife. She was intimidated by me, having heard a lot about me. But I put her at ease... and we spent the shower talking and comparing notes... and I realized that she was absolutely PERFECT for him, much more perfect for him than I would ever be.

I'm divorced and very happily remarried to the LOVE OF MY LIFE now. My first love meanwhile remains happily married too. We haven't seen each other in over 15 years. I hear about his life through my brother, he hears about me through my brother. I am sure if we saw each other again our hearts would still skip a beat. He was my first love, afterall!!! But things worked out the way they were meant to work out.

So that is my long-winded rambling way to say: ENJOY. Don't think about tomorrow, just take each day as it comes. Perhaps you can make a similar pact, that you will date others while you are apart, don't ask, don't tell, but see if the flames are still going strong when you are in the same town during breaks?

My husband and I did a long distance relationship for over a year before we got married. I lived in Seattle and he lived in Arizona. It was really hard but fortunally we were able to fly once a month and see each other for 3 or 4 days. It was not easy by any means, but it was do able and totally worth it!

aw thanks you guys for all your advice!  i'm still not sure what i want to do.. it seems like it all really depends on how much we truely want to stay together and i dont know the answer to that! well, obviously we both want to stay together, and he's not the type to just go crazy with any girl he sees at college, especially if he has a girlfriend. (he is a virgin by the way :) like me haha)   it's not that im worried about him cheating on me so much - i am more worried that by the time he leaves i will be soo attached to him that i will be really sad... :( it makes me sad just thinking about not being able to see him all the time..  and yes i do drive, so i could probably go to see him some weekends, but thats another thing that im not so sure about.. it is going to be my senior year of high school- suppose to be the funnest time! and like party with my class or whatever.. im scared that i will miss out on some of that if i'm so wrapped up in someone so far away? i dont know, i usually dont get so into people, so i think the fact that i am thinking about this so much and actually wondering what isnt gonna be like means i like him alooott alot

oh and JENMCC - that is a cute storyyy :) and you're right about taking every day as it comes! i love that :)  if anybody else has stories please tell ! haha

I was kind of in your situation 4 years ago.  I met him my freshman year, and both of us being army brats we got stationed in the same town and went to high school together.  Well about a year later he moved to NC and I was still in AZ.  Then 4 years ago when I started my senior year, he and I decided we would try a long distance relationship since the feelings were still there.  It was HARD i am not even going to lie.  Communication and trust are a huge thing, you have to have it or you guys will fail.  As for me, we went three years long distance and he moved down here since I was going to college and almost done.  Now we are married and have a beautiful son who was born this past April and we couldn't be happier.  Personally I found it made us stronger in the sense we can talk about things easier, but harder when we started living together because we really didn't get used to each others quirks.  Hope this helps and good luck!

aw ROSASJ congrats on your new son!!! :) thats so greattt !      and you brought up a good point that good communication is key and actually made you stronger. 

and JANE3001 - i liked what you said about the advantages of long distance.  i always think about the bad side of it, but i never really considered the good!

thanks for the help :)