Look Good Naked.

This is just a general wonderment post and I hope I don't offend anyone...

Have you seen the show "How to Look Good Naked" I believe with Carson from "Queer Eye?" Many of the women on that show are gorgeous!! I can't imagine having their bodies and feeling bad which just goes to show that EVERYONE has body issues. But my question is, when "thin" people get down on themselves, do they think, well at least I look better than her, or is their image of themselves so low that they can't see their attributes (for lack of a better word) as better than other people? I don't mean to say that some people are beautiful and some aren't but I just wonder if people help themselves feel just a little bit better by comparing themselves to someone worse off?

Again, hope I don't offend anyone...

I imagine that lots of self-hating people try to prop themselves up by saying well, at least I look better than her.

I have felt this way too, in my weaker/lamer moments.

Overall, though, beauty is variable and heavily influenced by factors other than visual - when you love someone, they are beautiful, and when someone sucks as a person, their physical appearance doesn't make them attractive no matter what. 

And FWIW I've always looked better naked than I do in clothes, no matter what my size. ;)  (Of course, if I'm naked with someone, they usually appreciate and enjoy that fact. If they don't, I won't be naked with them again. Whereas some people react badly to me while I'm clothed, and I can't really control that as much. So perhaps it's a skewed perspective.)

I guess, technically, I'm considered "thin."  I can honestly tell you that I have always had body image issues and, unfortunately, I probably always will.  Never in my entire life--not once--have I ever thought, 'well I look better than her."  I don't know if this is so much a result of not recognizing that I do look better than some or the result of not caring if I look better than some, but still being completely unhappy with my own body.  Did that make sense? 

yeah that show is great, it really emphasises that looking good is about confidence and self-esteem..which i completely agree with. if you love yourself you'll take better care of yourself.

In my opinion I think that when someone feels down about their appearance and body it doesn't matter how big or small they are...they think they look awful and I doubt they compare themselves to anyone else, its their own issues with their body and looks, not anyone else's. 

 However having saying this I genuinely do think women compare themsleves to other women, but normally they're trying to gauge whose prettier, better body ect...its part of being a women in a celbrity induced culture, if we talk about certain celebs being beautiful and have opinions on these women we know doubt have opions on other people to. However I think the more secure you are with yourself, your natural beauty and body the less you judge and compare because your genuinely happy with yourself.

  

I saw a commercial for that show and was going to TiVo it but forgot.  I'm going to look for it tonight when I get home.

As far as thinking "At least I look better than her."  I am guilty as well, but not very often. 

My own body image is extremely distorted...  I realized very recently that when I was a teen at 103 lbs, I saw myself much as I do now at 208 lbs.  Okay, there were less stretch marks and globby spots, but to me it was much the same.  Now I'd kill for that bod (okay not really, I was a bit anorexic at that point in time -- believe it or not, I thought I needed to lose 30 more lbs at that weight).

I think that's human nature and I've certainly done it, but at the same time, even when we do it, it only works for a while because it's a negative reinforcement instead of a positive one.

When you compare yourself to someone who's in worse shape than you are, you only feel good until you see someone who's in better shape, so it's a short-lived boost. 

That's one of the things I'm working towards - not losing XX amount of weight or inches, but getting to the point where I feel confident in my own skin.  I don't need to be perfect, but I need to be able to look at myself without instantly zeroing in on all the things I hate.  Only 5.5 pounds down so far, and already feeling much better!

I like that How To Look Good Naked show.  The ones I've seen so far did have very nice bodies to start with, but I saw an ad for one coming up where the person is pretty heavy and out of shape, so I don't think they all are.

I really like when they line up all the other women and then ask the target person to place themselves where they think they fit - measurement wise.  They always pick too high and then are shocked when they find out they're wrong - sometimes WAY wrong.  That always seems to go a long way towards revising their internal picture of themselves.

Yay for a show that's about loving who you ARE and not about how to be a supermodel or whatever!

I was thinking the same thing... that they use women with pretty good shapes to start with. I am glad to hear that they are going to use someone a little more "rough" around the edges. My husband swears he wants to sign me up for that show... I told him there is no way in HELL you will get me to let that guy put my body up on the side of a building. NEVER!!! I did not always hate my body, I loved it in high school... got a little obsessed about it [at the same thing everyday for a year to maintain it] until my doctor pulled out a vogue in his office and told me that i was never going to look like that... ever, and threatened to call my mom. He wrote me a prescription that said "EAT" AND SEE ME IN 1 WEEK. IF YOU HAVE NOT GAINED 1LB I AM CALLING YOUR MOTHER".  I am positive he saved me from ED hell. I put on about 10lbs... got to a healthy 135. Stayed there until I married and had children.

To be honest, when my husband looks at me... I like my body. Truly, it is the only time I do. I wish I could see me through his eyes. I marvel at his lack of body image issues. My husband looks like a bear. But, he loves his body. I wonder if it is because he is a man?  

lessin, I will remember that trick for my future patients. thanks :)

Why do you need to look at a TV show about overweight people trying to feel better about THEMSELVES????  Instead of watching TV why not take the time to exercise? Or do something around the house???  Who cares what other people look like naked!!

I definitely notice when I perceive other women at a similar height to me at being slimmer than me- I only really notice with someone who is within 2 inches of my height or taller. I guess that is good though, I'm not comparing myself to someone who is 5'2 because proportion wise, that just doesn't compute. Larger, I recall my size 12 days, but for the majority of women I see who are size 12, I admire their curves and hourglass figures, yet I came to the realization a long time ago (I ate myself to a size 12 from having been a 0 in an attempt to get curves, now I'm a 4 which seems to be perfect) that I'm straight figured so I look best that way.

Other than that... in the grocery line when you are having a lazy no makeup baggy jeans day, and you think your hair is a mess and you think look like you just woke up or are suffering from a hangover, don't tell me you haven't thought "At least I look better in this than she looks!" when you see the latest tabloid header of Britney Spears.

As for the show, I saw it once. Its definitely a great show to boost confidence and get women to actually show their bodies! Losing weight and exercise are healthy, but they won't always fix the mentality. We all need to learn just to accept what we have, and be happy with flattering it as much as possible, and flaunting it all when the moment calls for it ;)

I do agree with you, during the second episode I was so mad that the girl was upset that she wasn't pretty that I didn't even watch the show.  I couldn't even understand how they couldn't like their bodies.  Then I got to thinking about how I wanted to lose weight and wondered if I would ever be truly happy with myself.  I wondered if I would want to change something else about myself.  I can honestly say I have though the I look better than her in my moments of feeling bad about myself.  I'm trying not to do that anymore and it's being quite successful since I'm starting to feel better about myself

Thanks everyone. I agree! I think we've all done and we've done it in reverse as well! But that's why we are all here, to feel better about ourselves and to get healthy!

I was thinking after I lose 90 more pounds, I would love to go on the show- mainly because I think Carson is awesome and I'd love to go shopping with him for the day! It would be great for him to help me pick out what to wear. I was amazed when he shows the video of the two people, wearing different outfits and asks the person to pick the one who is "thinner" but then it turns out that the person on the video is the same person- so it depends on the clothes and how you wear them-  He's a funny guy!  Plus- a new wardrobe would be nice....

I am just over 450 pounds, but if you see my pic I think I have a nice face, I have only a mild double chin and decent proportions.  And I am an advide support of Size and Slef acceptance BUT... I am human.

I will admit I have seen people who are bigger than me and thought "Thank goodness I am not that big."  and yesterday I saw this woman with a HUGE double chin (you could not see her neck at all) even though she was probably half my size I thought "at least I am not her."

These are not nice thoughts, but they are real thoughts and we all have them.  I was eating at Golden Corral and had done very well with veggies mostly then had a tiny dessert including some no sugar added cherry crumble which I had just started nibbleing on when  guy a little bigger than me came in in a wheelchair, Now I am scared silly I will end up in a wheel chair cause of my bad knees and I am ashamed to admit I stopped eating and covered up my plate so I could would not eat any more.  I had lost my appitite.

I know people look at me and think at least I am not her, OK great if that helps them get through their days and I dont have hear about the no problem.  I see people with much worse handicaps than I have and I think the same thing, "It could be worse." 

 

Original Post by lessin08:

>>>>>>>>>

To be honest, when my husband looks at me... I like my body. Truly, it is the only time I do. I wish I could see me through his eyes. I marvel at his lack of body image issues. My husband looks like a bear. But, he loves his body. I wonder if it is because he is a man?  

I have a very distorted body view.

I KNOW I am better looking now than I will be when I am 200 pounds, unless I could afford $80K in reconstruction surgury and it is hard on me.  But then I have a different prespective than a lot of fat women, I am a BBW Model... Super Sized Model more than plus size.  I have a webiste( not a pay one) , I have made a lot of money selling non-porn fat fetish type vidoes of me as well as CDs of Photographs, none of them sexual or fully naked (only a few back shots)  I have had paysites beg me to do work for them and I wont cause I wont pose nude for my own reasons having nothing to do with how I look.

In the BBW community I am well known and everyday I hear form some man or the other how AMAZING I look. and I use to agree and love it.  But since the arthritis hit 3 years ago I have lost most of my confidence.  I no longer do pics like that because I see the pain on my face and it aged me.  I still think big women are beautiful, I have have my art of them published in books, and magazines in the USA and Austrailia and I will always see beauty in them. 

I am only losing weight because of my knees and so I am faced with knowing that when I lose weight and have tons of baggy skin and my face shows it age like a painting of Dorian Grey I will NOT be as desirable as I am now.

I would LOVE to see me through their eyes, to see the beauty they see, I would love to be happy with who I am regardless of size, small or big, but pain, non stop pain has a way of warping you and your preceptions badly.

I am guilty of that a time or two also.  I also look at other people and it makes me proud of myself that I do excercise and try to eat healthy.  I have never had a good body image of myself until recently.  I have been up and down with weight my whole life and now that I am older and my husband has health problems I seem to realize that I will never have the tight belly but I am strong and feel better than I have in a long time most days being on my husband's diet.  And I do look at myself in the mirror naked and realize my body is not as bad as I think somedays.  But is this world it is really hard to be happy with your body at any age and any size. 

Have any of you folks seen the British version of this show?  It takes very different body shapes, and how to present them to look awesome!!!  I saw some women who were of typical larger frame, and once shown how to present their assets and hide the things they don't like, it was like a magical transformation. 

The american versions of many of these brit ripoffs alway take the beauty out of what the show was meant to do.  Queer guy host doing this?  Just wrong.  It's not a makeover. 

growing up i was always taunted by jealous(or something?) people for being naturally tiny. people would call me 'anorexic' or any other word they could think of that meant abnormally small in their eyes. the last thing i would have ever done is compare myself to another person. i always knew i wasn't 'normal,' thanks to everyone always bothering me about it... so how could i be compared to them? that's where 'thin' people might get issues from. nothing is perfect for everyone. sometimes people just want to look normal. or not have anyone else look at them, at all. i respect that greatly. lol not trying to be a big downer or anything but seriously, who cares about what other people look like? definitely not me.

i wasn't offended i just felt the need to post! (btw) 

I just wanted everyone to see this website by photographer Rosanne Olson.  I first saw an article in MORE magazine and was so impressed by it.  Again, it's pictures of women of various ages, weights, etc. , very elegantly displayed naked.  I even e-mailed her and offered to pose for her next project.  Please take a look:

www.rosanneolson.com  Click on "about" and the New Book release.  Would be interested to hear everyone's take on it.  She is pushing for women to purchase this book from Amazon.com on Feb 14.  The book is titled "this is who I am"

Original Post by binessman:

Have any of you folks seen the British version of this show? It takes very different body shapes, and how to present them to look awesome!!! I saw some women who were of typical larger frame, and once shown how to present their assets and hide the things they don't like, it was like a magical transformation.

The american versions of many of these brit ripoffs alway take the beauty out of what the show was meant to do. Queer guy host doing this? Just wrong. It's not a makeover.

Respectfully, I have to disagree.  I think that the British version sounds like it is not about learning to love oneself, but rather how to hide your flaws.  At least in this show, they talk about really looking at yourself and seeing yourself how you *really* are before you start learning how to dress to flatter yourself, etc. 

And I think having a gay man host it is perfect.  If it was a woman, the guests might feel uncomfortable since, being an entertainer, she would almost certainly be beautiful.  And if it was a straight man, again - uncomfortable.  A gay man is like a trusted female friend, yet no competition, and also no uncomfortable sexual undertones.  I think it's brilliant.

It is a makeover - it's just a mental one instead of a physical one.  The kind we all really need!