Looking for bi or bi friendly weight loss friends

I am a normal but semi-old person. I love CC. I have 25-30 pounds to lose. I recently posted something on the boards and was outed.....I didn't think it was an issue but now think I may have lost (or will lose) my support group. I still want a support group. Anyone here ok with me even though?

Zena,

I wasn't part of your original support group, but after your posts yesterday I think you are a strong and awesome individual. I would like to be part of your support group too! (Provided you can stand my terrible, offensive humour)

Today-

A fight already--It was this---oh well I wouldn't have gottn mad if I thought you just wanted to cuddle(she said ). I just did n't want to be bothered if it was more than that.WOW ...I was upset about that...so I broke it off---that wasnt ok either OMG i give I dont know what to do....SO really I just want to be good for someone today

What a tough situation! How are you doing?

cst- I am bummed-- I hate to post negative stuff here--but really I am--I have a big heart.............I am really not a jerk- I just feel spent

I didn't see the thread where you outed yourself so I really don't know exactly whats going on.  I probably would have broke it off if someone said that to me too.  But, I have to ask, is it possible she just worded it wrong?  Is this an ongoing problem? Is it possible that she is suffering with at least a mild case of depression? 

Sometimes people say things without thinking about their wording.  What did she mean by bothered?  Sometimes people just don't feel up to sex and if they think thats what you want they will blow you off.   Ive done it with girlfriends, Ive done it with hubby. 

A great example would be the other night.  He rolled over close to me and kissed me behind the ear.  I said, ya know Im really  still to sick for this tonight.  He said what, for me to just hold you?   My answer was "when is holding ever just holding with you."   He laughed and promised to behave.  Lucky for me he was half asleep because if he hadn't been he would have ended up trying something and I would  have ended up back on the computer until he went to sleep.   When Im sick, I don't like people touching me.

To be honest, having had children, I don't like people touching me.  I have little people tugging and pulling at me all day.  The last thing I usually want is to be touched by the end of the day.  Its not his fault.  Its not my fault, its just life.

So my question for you is this.  Is this normal behavior for her?  Is there a source to it?  Has she given you a reason for not wanting to be intimate with you?  Is it possible you were just her good for now girl and now she thinks maybe shes found someone else but isn't positive so shes keeping it to herself. 

Just out of curiousity, do you mind if I ask what both of  your sun signs are?  It is entirely possible that the whole of your problem can be discovered right there.

 

Original Post by zenasavvy:

Today-

A fight already--It was this---oh well I wouldn't have gottn mad if I thought you just wanted to cuddle(she said ). I just did n't want to be bothered if it was more than that.WOW ...I was upset about that...so I broke it off---that wasnt ok either OMG i give I dont know what to do....SO really I just want to be good for someone today

 Wow. I don't know you, but I can tell you're worth more than that.

I'm bi too, and have had quite wonderful relationships on both sides of the playing field. ;-)

I think what worried me most about that thread wasn't that you were bi, it was the cheating thing. =/ But I haven't read the whole thread, and I don't really desire to read eight pages, so I don't know what happened.

But as far as being bi and wanting to lose 20-30 pounds, I'm with you there! I'm sure you will still have a support group here!

I'm fairly straight, but I'm supportive of pretty much anything consenting adults want to do in private.

I'm at a happy weight now.  I'd like to maintain.  I'm also saving up for surgery to repair the skin on my belly that I destroyed by gaining 70 pounds during my first pregnancy.

Bummer about the fight.  So, when you say "I broke it off", does that mean you are actually breaking up, or was it more of an ultimatum?

I'd never let anyone's personal life stop me from being their friend, girl!    ( :

Zena rocks!  ( :

Zena - I'm gay and more than comfortable with that.  I'm not a fan of gay ghettos and I don't go to pride parades, but I will never deny who I am to anyone.  If there's a posting about sexuality or relationships that I feel I can contribute to, I'll post my perspective honestly and openly.  I may have ruffled a few feathers here, but so be it.  I will not pretend to be anything other than who I am, and have been blessed with a 26 year relationship, we raised a son together and are now Dad-In-Laws to a wonderful DIL and Grampas to 2 grandsons.  We live in a very small rural community, and while we were the first exposure to an alternate lifestyle for many of our neighbours, we've both been successful personally and professionally, and are recognized as civic leaders and community volunteers.

I guess what this long-winded posting is meant to say is: just be you.  Be the best you that you can be, and never, ever feel the need to apologize, explain or justify your lifestyle.

Putting the "Zen" back into Zena,

Split

Split--thanks--I like you --you sound cool--Yeah I long for the "Zen"

Olivia-thanks--you know how I feel about you ....I am so glad to see ya

I would give anything to just be right ...to be alright...to be I don't know--I don't like turmoil--I don't really like drama--hey I am good at that but...I would rather just LOVE....uggh   I am just so frustrated............so ....lonely I guess..........I dont know BUT thanks to both of you and all of you..

HUGS

Naw - I'm not cool, I'm just me.

In my experience, turmoil and personal drama is usually the outcome of deception - either being less than upfront with others, or not being true to yourself.  My life has been pretty much drama free since I accepted myself for who I am, which makes it convenient since so many of my friends and family are drama queens who come to me for advice!

Do me a favour?  Invest a day or two in getting to know yourself.  What do you like about yourself?  What do you dislike about yourself?  Why? What do you want out of life?  Do you want a relationship?  If you do, what do you want out of it?  Straight, bi or gay, any relationship in which you're not being true to yourself is destined to have drama - or even fail.  The hardest part about interacting with other people is not trying to be what they want - or what we think they want.  Be yourself.  Someone will love you for it.

Hugz,  Split

Hi Zena, I wasn't part of your original support group, but I'd be happy to help you with your weight loss and be a CC friend! 

I'm straight but not narrow (not that it matters) and a"Safe Zone" advocate at work for young adults who are GLBT or questioning.  IMHO, nobody should be discriminated against for their sexual orientation--or race, class, gender, religion, marital status, philsophical beliefs, disabilities, size, ketchup preference (j/k, everyone knows Heinz is best!  LOL), etc.. 

BTW, I've got about 50-70 pounds to go, am working on getting back to exercising 4 days a week after having hyperextended my left knee this past winter, and I've been on this site for about 2 years.  :)

((((HUGS))))  I'm sorry you're feeling low. 

I'm straight and married and I'll be 50 in March of next year.

I don't care what anyones sexual orientation is, I only care about their heart.

My parents raised me right.   We are all part of the same whole.

I support you too. 

 

ghost