Just looking for a little personal support
I've suffered with binging for about two years now. I see a therapist and since July I have made a lot of progress. Winter is always the worst, so I am trying to get in the best possible mindset to prepare myself so I can take care of myself when my mood gets down. In February and all those ucky months binges were a daily thing. Then I'd be good for three days or so, then relapse. July 20th I really started to get my act together. I didn't binge until August 15th or so. What made this really great was the next day I picked back up and just kept going. I didn't fully relapse or get stuck on it. This is what I'm supposed to do and somehow I found the courage to do it and hey it worked!! Through cutting some calories & XC I've lost 13 lbs. (156 to 143 at 5'6.5''). Feeling pretty great and everything. School just started Thursday. Yesterday I had a sort-of binge. I logged everything and it was only 2500 calories so not really a binge but 1000 more than my body is used to so i felt crappy. But I worked out a lot at practice and at home so I didn't really consider it a big deal. I was hoping to just pick up dust off and move on like last time. But today I had an actual binge. A little while ago. And even more than the typical disgusted feeling -- I'm really scared. This disorder has messed up my self esteem, coping devices, relationship with food, and self-perception. In more ways than I can name. I'm scared because I don't want to fall back into it. I felt so far out. I only binged once from July20th-August30th. That is so good for me. So now I guess the positive way of looking at it is that in 43 days I only binged a couple of times. But deep down I'm still scared I won't be able to get back on track tomorrow. I just need someone to say something supportive. That I won't gain back what I lost. That all of those days of struggle weren't for nothing. That I won't be worse at practice this coming week cause of my mistake. That the guy I love won't notice the water weight gain. Ugh. Any words of encouragement would be good. I don't have any real calorie amount for today other than I was at 1500 before I binged and the binge was mostly on chocolate/sugaryfoods/pasta/cheese. Do you think I gained any real weight? I'm just scared. I wanna beat thing thing. Grr
I mostly just wanted to get that out so if you actually read all this, thanks <3
sry to be lame and bump this but i binged again today and i could really use the words of someone else out there =/
Hi, Manda. I'm not a binger, but I often see a support group on here...
Support for Bingers
You might want to check them out.
Also, even though I'm not an all-out binger, I totally understand the fear of "getting back on track tomorrow". I understand the fear of erasing all the hard work I put into my eating habits. But change can happen! Just make sure that tomorrow brings some sustainable choices. If you like sugary foods and pasta, work them into your calorie intake at smaller portions to prevent all-out binging.
And now for the something supportive: You CAN beat this. You are stronger than you may think, and you have it in your own control to make choices that heal instead of hurt. I'd urge you to look at the group - if it's closed, then just taking a look at what others are going through might help.
I'm sending lots of healthy wishes your way.
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