looking for motivation, support can offer the same back

Hi. I'm a relatively young feeling Manhattanite 45 year old mom (of a 6 year old boy) with a weight problem-- or a weight crisis....I am 5'8 and weigh 225 pounds. I haven't had the weight have a direct effect on my blood pressure or cholesterol yet, but am feel like I really need to take it off before this happens. Also, I haven't been able to exercise much this year and can definitely feel the aches and pains of excess weight. I find the extra weight is depressing, I don't like myself and how I look. I also notice how I am treated differently by many, and it is also sad.

Still, when I was young and not very overweight, I always thought I was enormous and huge. Suffice it to say I've always been self conscious about my body.

Nine years ago I quit smoking for the first and only time after 17 years and never went back. I used the patch. I think it shows that if I put my mind to something I can do it. But I would love friends to help.

I would love to get down to 150. It would be a dream. I'm looking for buddies in similar situation. I am seriously considering giving up flour and sugar. I want to start exercising again, but must take it slowly. I have a tendency to overdo it in the beginning and then I get exhausted and lose my motivation.


At any rate, I've had many stressful life situations, and definitely eat when I'm stressed. In addition to quitting smoking and having a baby, I took ssri's on and off. I think the ssri's helped contribute to my weight gain either by actually packing on the pounds or increasing my appetite or a combination of both.

Hi try try try again-I just read your posting and was reminded of myself in many ways.  I'm 41 y.o. mom of two children.  At my heaviest I was 217 at 5'6".  Last July I asked my dr. to refer me to a nutrtionist to help with my weight.  That was the best thing I did.  The nurtitionist looked at my diet and gave me information to change it.  Not to cut things out of it but to use different more healthy ingrediants instead.  It has worked for me initially.  So far I have lost 40 pounds.

The problem I'm having is that I haven't lost an ounce since Jan.  it's very disappointing.  I think I have just run out of steam.  I too am looking for motivation to kick start me again. 

I would love to get to 150 pounds as well but I also eat when I'm stressed out.  I hit the kitchen the first chance I get.  Grrrr....

What made me smile about your post was when you talked about being younger and thinking you were enormous.  That was me.  I would love to be the weight I was when I was 25 instead of thinking I was a tub of lard.  That was the year I quit smoking by the way. 

Anyway I'm looking for motivation myself.  So far what I have learned is your diet is the way you eat for the rest of your life not any temporary food plan.  And of course excercise is vital.  I had to make excerise a priority in my life or I wouldn't do it.  Excercise is the only reason I haven't gained any weight since Jan. 

The battle of the bulge continues..........=)

Thanks marsupial.

I understand what you mean about the nutritionist, but aside from during the bought i had with gestational diabetes during my pregnancy (and I wonder if the insulin I had to take screwed up my metabolism), I always find a way to not follow diets. Either I'm too busy or too lazy or both. I binge on floury and sugary foods, I don't eat nearly enough vegetables. This is the reason I've been thinking of eliminating them almost entirely from my diet. I would try to do it with support: joining overeater's anonymous or whatever if I could bear the 12-stepping crowd here in Manhattan. Not to knock it, I know it works for a lot of people but I'm cynical.

Hi trytrytry, I feel I'm in a similar place, 47, 2 kids (mine are a lot older tho) and very busy, so it's hard to get motivated.
I remember being really down just before I joined CC at the end of March - I was eating really healthy foods from some book I picked up at whole foods market, exercising, for a couple of months, but my weight just seemed to go up 6 pounds from Jan for no reason. (More likely I had been in denial about my real weight before).
I was convinced my metabolism must be screwed up by the blood pressure medication I take, and I'd never lose the flab.  So I started counting calories strictly so I'd have some data to take to my doctor.
And lo and behold, I started losing weight. Not as fast as I'd like, but it does gradually come off. I think I was unrealistic before about the difference between a 30 year olds metabolism and a 47 year olds - I needed a dose of reality!
I also have aches and pains in my feet, knees and ankles - it was really bugging me because my favorite aerobic exercise was long hikes, and I just can't do that anymore. But I've been encouraged by Tom Venuto's website, that says 45 minutes is the optimum lenght of cardio for weight loss for most people, and I can manage that most days of the week, even with my feet.
Sorry this is a long rambling post - I just want to say hang in there, it can be done, and if like me you're not much for joining clubs, this website is full of knowledgeable and  empathic people who are going through similar things. We have to believe we can make it to our goal.
(Its just so true what you say -  I so wish I had really enjoyed my shape when I was 28 and 135 pounds, when I was 36 and 142 pounds (kids in between) - I just always thought I was  a fatty!)

I was also considering joining overeaters anonymous but making that initial step is very scary to me for some reason.  I need to do something though because I am missing the support part of losing weight.  I have the food information and I have my excercise routine I just need someone to support me when times are difficut who knows what I'm going through.  I'm hoping to use CC for that missing piece. 

well, marsupial you can contact me any time here for support.

I wish I had someone to talk to last night when I was pouring my son a bowl of Peppridge Farm Xtra cheddar goldfish and eating handfulls myself. When he asked me for some today i sheepishly said "we finished it..." That's the kind of thing that I do that makes me feel so ashamed and makes me think i need the support group. In the meantime, this does seem like a great site and I hope we can help each other out. I've started today doing no sugar, flour and it seems okay....we'll see. I'm Italian American and I DIE for pasta, so that will be hard.

And windgirl, I had heel spurs in my right foot that made it hard for me to do cardio and the like, but somehow, I tossed my vanity aside and got (what I thought) were some really ugly reboks and wore them all winter and lo and behold I haven't had the problem crop up yet. Good shoes are key when you have excess weight, I've found.

Yum-I love Pepprige Farm goldfish, maybe more than my kids do.  One of the guidelines the nutritionist gave me was not to eat any of the kids food.  That includes snacks and also finishing what they don't eat.  This was difficult as I got into the habit of snacking when the kids did.  I had to stop buying snacks that I like and find things for them that I wouldn't eat. 

I don't like Teddy Grahams or Nilla wafers so I get them alot.  I could never get good cookies like Oreos or chocolate chip.  Beware the Oreo that crosses my threshold-I would eat it immediately.

That being said I still grab an occasional handful of goldfish =(

Trytrytry thank you for your support-I think it will help me as I inch toward less inches.

Yeah, well it's day two of no added sugar no white flour, but for some reason tonight I"m battling major cravings....

I am almost 50 and have been 60 pounds overweight the past 2 years.  I had no self esteem and no support to help me with weight loss.  Recently I went to my doctor and he told me to stay under 2000 calories a day.  I, of course, said I didn't think I ate that much. I have a really bad habit of skipping meals and living on my coffee.  I used International Delight Amaretto flavored creamer in my coffee.  I realized after reading the label I was drinking over 400 calories a day in just my cofee!  After finding this site, I started really paying attention to my calorie intake and making sure I eat better.  I drink at least 64 Oz. of water per day.  I now limit my creamer use to just putting it in 2 cups of coffee per day.  That is my treat.  I also starting eating breakfast.  I usually have oatmeal since I have really high cholesterol.  I have arthritis in both knees and ankles and I have RSD (Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy) in both arms.  This makes exercise a challenge.  My exercise plan is shaping up slowly.  I am doing some very low impact aerobics, per my doctors recommendation, and some basic yoga exercises.  I'm here if you ever want to talk.

I don't know about eliminating sugar and flour.  From what I understand, a lot people who try to eliminate entire food groups tend to do OK for a few days, then their willpower cracks and they binge outrageously, hate themselves, eat out of misery and guilt, and then start the cycle again.  I think that you need to find a way of fitting the foods that you love in a healthy diet.  I found that I could pre-empt a lot of my sugar cravings by eating a lot of fruit before the cravings hit.  Upping my protein also seemed to lessen my sweet tooth.    I still indulge in treats, but I'll add a cup of blueberries to a small bowl of ice cream, or only eat chocolate once in a while, but make it a really nice bar of Belgian chocolate, and sit down and really savour every bite.    In my case, I found that after the first month of eating reasonably, my junk food cravings stopped.

I think that exercise is crucial.  Not only will you be able to eat a bit more, but your body will develop a great shape and tone, instead of just shrinking.  Exercise will also elevate with your mood, help you sleep, and reduce stress.  (And fight disease, strengthen your bones, lungs and heart, etc etc etc).  You're sensible to not want to overdo it in the beginning.  Consider adding a bit more walking to your day (I'm a big fan of the pedometer/10000 step program for beginners).  Or pay for a one-time consultation with a personal trainer to help map out an appropriately paced three-month exercise plan.  Or pick one or two beginner level exercise classes at the gym, and make a point of going every week, and give yourself permission to only do one or two hours a week for the first 3 or 4 months. 


Good luck, and remember that you're stronger than you believe you are. 


[I'm 37, mother of a 6 year old and a 3 1/2 year old, and it took me 2 tries to quit smoking (the last and final time was over 5 years ago).  At 5'4, I was 186 lbs in January 2004; 162lbs last September; 134 lbs right now.  It can be done.]

I agree with nicole-it's hard to completely elinate entire food groups.  How about swithing from white flour to 100% whole wheat.  There's lots of options at the grocery store and many recipies available to follow. 

I too am looking for motivation.  Especially this time of day.  My personal weakness is the glass of wine that becomes bottomless, undoing the good things I have done during the day.  Anybody got a suitable sub for that?  I am a mroning work-out person because if I don't do it then , it may not ge t done.  Have 4 kids, work full time...so after work, I run kids around.  By the time I get home I look forward to that glass of wine -- and feel guilty the next day that it turned into two. Anybody else?  

Wow lismith you are one busy woman.  I also love having a couple glasses of wine at the end of the day.  I actually look forward to it by about 4:00.  What I do to stop myself from drinking every night(and worrying that I'm not trading one addiction for another) is to keep it out of the house.  I only buy one bottle a week at the end of the week and drink only on weekends. 

Sometimes I crave it during the  week but it's not there =(  I'll have a cup of decaf or tea at night instead.