looking for other Mom's in their 40's trying to loose weight & stay motivated

Hi, I am a 40 year old mom looking for other mom's trying to loose weight & stay motivated.  I am finding it hard to stay motivated with 20 somethings with no kids and wanting to party all the time. 

I am not into bar hopping, I've been married 18 years and we have a 15 year old daughter and two son's ages 7 & 8.  I just want to find some more friends on CC that are in the same life stage as me.  You know, running kids around, trying to keep a house running, working full time and generally taking care of everyone else first and me last and just dealing with everyday life, (more bills than money). 

I have lost 20+ pounds but need to loose another 65 pounds and really need to find some other women that are going through the same things so I don't feel so alone and help keep me going.

You can add me to the list...   44, mum of one, working.  Lost a lot of weight about five years ago but always needing to keep a lid on it!  

How much have you lost & how in the world did you keep yourself motivated?  I am really struggling right now...

I lost about 50+lbs at the time.  I'm trying to lose 10lbs that have magically reappeared!!  My prime motivation these days is that my BP can get a little dicey if I don't keep my weight down (thanks for that pregnancy, son, I owe you one). 

Initally I tried to rely less on motivation and willpower because I am absolutely crap at both....  Instead I relied a lot on developing a good routine and good organisation.  Making weight-loss, healthy eating and exercise like brushing teeth.. you do it because you do it, because there's no real alternative ... not because you're all fired up and raring to go (so not me)   

What are you struggling with.

Yesterday, nothing.  Today, everything!  Tomorrow who knows. 

I am so frustrated right now.  I am trying to break 190 and keep maintaining between 191 & 192 for the past month now.  I know why and that's why I am so frustrated.  I think I am doing so well during the day and when I log my calorie intake then I see my actual calorie intake and it makes me mad.  I am trying to stay around 1400 -1500 calories and end up consuming around 2000. 

A little back ground you should know that is adding to my frustration.  I enrolled in a weight loss program back in July by Dr's orders.  I am a Type 2 Diabetic (thanks to my pregnancies) and starting to have issues with high cholesterol.  My Dr. has told me many, many times that I need to loose weight to get off my meds and be healthier which is what I want, since I am not insullin dependent and don't want to get to that stage. 

Anyway, this program is based on counting calories, more exercise, water and meal replacements.  I have been counting calories, exercising more than ever in my life and drinking nothing but water or a few diet soda's but I am struggling with the meal replacements.  I am supposed to be consuming only these and I am not consuming near enough and eating the wrong kind of foods.  I just can't seem to be able to stop the "other" foods completely and just do the MR's.  This is why it is so stupid!  I am paying to be in this program which is not cheap, and if someone else had the opportunity to do it the say they would but it is very restrictive and I am freaking out with the thought "what happens when the program is over & I am off the MR's and have to eat real food again?!?"  I am basically in tears over it today, class is tonight and my frustration level is at a peak!  Or maybe I am just PMS'ing

I think I'd be in tears if I was on a diet with meal replacements.    Sounds grim and, you're right, what does happen when you get to the end of them?

Are the MRs filling? horrible tasting? boring? repetitive? ...  I'm wondering that if they're not filling you up could you cook yourself some extra vegetables to eat with them?  And what are the other foods you find you're eating to get up to 2000 cals a day?... what's driving you towards them?  Hunger? Boredom? Need for something exciting to eat? Too easily accessible?

In the past when I'd unsuccessfully tried to lose weight it was usually boredom or getting fed up with a limited food choice that got in the way.  I love tasty, interesting food and if I can't eat well I get really despondent, really quickly. And I never found exercise I really liked either. 

Maybe if you can pinpoint exactly what's going wrong rather than just thinking you're not motivated (because you sound quite motivated to me, to be honest) then you'd be nearer to an answer.

I am 39 going on 40 (way to soon), a mom of 2 boys with a lot of weight to lose.  I lost 35 pounds by December last year and just sort of stopped doing anything.  Now I have gained back 20 of my 35, I can't fit back into the pants I was wearing last year and it's really frustrating.  Where would I be if I had continued-I would probably be at my goal weight.  So I am 5'6"-188 wanting to get down to 145 and see from there if I want to go for more.

We have really been busy lately, it seems like I just don't have much time running around between with the boys-etc.  So I have really been trying to get my workout in the mornings-when I don't talk myself out of it.  Thats really where I am now.  I need some motivation.  I do really good counting calories when I workout but when I don't-I just can't seem to make myself eat good too.  I am still so bummed that I have to lose 20 pounds all over again before I can start on the rest.

I honestly don't think I could do that diet either.  I just can't function with out the food I really love.  If I am counting I can adjust during the day for that special food I am craving.  You really can eat anything-it just depends on how much.  I think that has been my problem also.  I have gained back so much weight that now I'm restricting calories again.  I am Starving-some days I am completly fine and may even get in a snack  after dinner to meet my calories.  Other days I am so hungry that by the time dinner rolls around I can't stop eating.

Well, this is to you all hoping we can keep at it and keep each other motivated.

me too! two son's, 16 and 23...

I am 42... is that too old?

Roxiegirl 42: Of course your not to old.  I just have nothing in common with 20 somethings that are still partying and no responsibilities.  I have a really hard time trying to hold up a conversation when all they can talk about is their boyfriend did this, their boyfriend did that or how much they drank on the weekend and can't figure out why they can't loose weight.  The more friends the better I think. 

Wyogirl: I know what you mean about 40 being way to soon.  I certainly don't feel 40 and most of the time, people can't believe that I am 40.  (Of course that all changed today when I went to my 8 year old's school today for "Grandparents Day" (my parents are on vacation) and my son's classmate said, "YOU LOOK JUST LIKE MY GRANDMA!"  Yea, that really helped! 

I guess, I just don't take the time to plan my days out better for food because I am always on the "dump and run".  Dump school stuff off at home, change clothes, grab what ever there is to eat and run back out the door in 30 minutes routine.  It isn't that my kids are in a ton of things, just with three of them doing one activity each, we are gone every night.  I usually have to work out when I get home for the night so that means after everyone else is in bed for the night.  I know I don't get enough sleep and that doesn't help either. 

Gi-Jane: The meal replacements really aren't too bad.  They come in 4 flavors and you can either make real foods with them or you can mix them up into a shake and drink them.  I can have as many as I want in a day, they are 160 calories each and I should be consuming about 5 per day but I seem to be averaging only 3 or 4.  I am really having a hard time breaking old habits I think more than anything.  When I am fixing meals for my family, I find myself "snaking" on their food like Mac & Cheese, Fried Chicken, Mashed Potatoes or any of those type of comfort foods.  I think, I'll only have a spoonful just to taste or 1/2 a cup won't hurt or they will be snacking on apples and cheese and I will have a couple slices of cheese because it is so yummy.  Truth is, the MR's are so easy I should be fixing them instead but it is so hard to break away from the old habits. 

Original Post by roxiegirl42:

I am 42... is that too old?

 Hope not because I'm turning 45 soon... Married 20 years, one daughter of almost 21, senior at college and one boy of 8yo driving me nuts! I've been on this lifestyle change since May '08 and lost 100lbs since then. Still 5 lbs to go for my goal, but I start to believe my body is telling me that's my healthy weight. It's been almost 2 months +- 1lb and no loss. Frustating at times, but it's ok I guess. I've always ate well, definitely no meal replacements, I started eating around 1600-1700 cal (when burn meter was at 2300) and now I eat around 1900 cal (basicaly maintenance) and depend on workout to get a deficit. I login daily and CC challenges kept me motivated. It's still a struggle to get motivated to workout (it's so much easier to faint on the couch!) or stop myself from eating out of anxiety. But I want this healthy and fit lifestyle to last forever, I'm tired of the yoyo that I've been going through my whole life before May '08.

indyquilter: what are the "other foods" you cannot give up? There are always some healthier alternatives for the same craving. I just heard of this book (eat this not That or something like it but I haven't read it so I don't know if it's really good). And like GiJane I wouldn't be able to go on meal replacements, I've done that in the past, add it to the yoyo lifestyle. From my experience now I've leraned that you have to eat what you like so it'll be easier to stick to it and feel satisfied after a meal. Those weight loss programs are sometimes recommended because an initial quick weight loss might be a good motivator, but it might not work for everyone. I know it doesn't work for me. But be patient, you're just human. There are many road blocks (read plateaus) along the way but you should aim for consistency, the gijane's routine. It's trial and error until you find a routine that works for you but step by step the pounds come off. Like I heard at CC before, "it's not a race, it's a lifestyle change".

Healthmd: Congratulations on loosing 100 pounds, that is amazing and very inspiring.  I also log into cc everyday to make sure I keep track of what I am doing so I can look back and spot a negative trend.  I am definitelyan emotional eater and trying to find other ways to deal with that.   Yes, 7 & 8 year old boys can definitely drive you nuts at times.  Mine are fascinated with Bakugon & Pokemon right now.  I don't understand it but it gets them to read and play pretty well together so I don't fuss about it too much.

OK, ladies I made a "group" a few weeks ago and if you would like to participate in a weekly weigh in on Friday's and keep in touch without having to keep this string going meet me at Mom's with Healthy Goals in the group section.  I hope you will all join me and we can keep each other motivated in this journey.   I have a couple of other cc friends already there and we are all having the same issues.  It is nice to know that I am not alone.

Hi, I would love to join you. I'm 44 with young children. (does that make me the oldest now?) Two boys, 4 and 7. I've lost about 15 lbs with CC. Motivation is a big problem for me. I constantly struggle with finding time to exercise and keeping my calories at about 1500 per day. I will check out your "group" and find you all there.

40 here and 2 children who are very active in sports.  Great right, well...for them, not me.  I seem to be stuck at concession stands starving to death every evening.  Starting to get smart and carrying smart snacks in my purse.  Just started REALLY getting serious this week.  I lost 60 lbs 8 years ago and I've put all but 10 lbs back on.  Really aggravated with myself.  NEVER thought I'd let this happen.  Thanks for sharing.  It does help to know that I can still lose at 40!  I just kept thinking...."well that was when I was 32, this is 40!"  I have to try.

Glad to hear 42 is not too old!!!

I am with the rest of the group... meal replacements are probably the last thing I would want to try. I have fun making my vegi's taste awesome. Trying new fruits... Counting my calories... Meal replacement's just sound boring and no fun at all. For me that would just be way too hard to stick with.

Can I join?  I think I'm the old lady of the group at 47.  I was losing by running but am on hiatus until an overuse injury clears up (again!).  I wasn't too worried about calorie counting because of the running, but now I'm going to have to smarten up.

Two kids, 14 & 11.  Not working, so bored in a house full of goodies. 

Is it ok if I join in? I am 44 one son of 19 in college and I have a hard time keeping up with his working schedule and school schedule. He does a lot.

I have already lost 14 pounds in one month. I do hatha yoga and pilates.  I started my actual diet on the 22 of August trying to build up my core muscles as well as posture... I do this every other day and on the days taking a break from yoga I alternate with cardio.  Gave up all fast food. All of it. Starting to cook healthy. I did eat clean for 2 weeks at the start. The second week was agonizing as I was so used to eating junk food.. everyday for the last two years.  I have now overcome the cravings of sugary, starchy creamy goodies.  There are 20 more pounds to go and I think I am on the right track.

Hi All,

I've read your posts and would like to join. I cannot find the Mom's with Healthy Goals. Please let me know where it is.

I am 41, with 2 girls (10 and 3) and an 8 year old boy. In the last 2 months I have lost 6.5 pounds. I would like to lose at least 26 more. I am learning to know when I am full, but now I desperately need to learn self control and how to ignore the cravings.

thanks,

heather