Looking for some quick advice

I just got invited to go out later tonight by my best friend.  She's going out to the clubs with her sister and girlfriends.

Problem is that I've been deeply in love with her for years.  She knows this and we've discussed it before.  I even found out, after the fact, that she's thought about dating me a couple times.  But in the end the answer from her has always been no to dating me.

I respect her feelings (or lack thereof) and try to never bring up the issue, or even flirt with her.  I've distanced myself from her at times to try and get over her.  I've even tried hypnosis cds to try and get rid of my feelings.  Nothing has worked.

We always have fun together.  We're each other's best friend after all.  The friendship is very special to both of us.  But after we're done hanging out I always feel heartsick.  I can't give up our friendship, but I can't seem to ever get over her, and I don't expect her to ever give dating me a shot.

I just don't know if I should go out with her tonight.  I want to, but the after-effect hurts a lot.  If I don't go out with her then I'll probably just be sitting home alone, watching horror movies, and drinking my blues away (an extremely rare occurance).

Any suggestions?

please?

If it was me, I wouldn't go.  But don't sit at home drinking.  Go out with some other friends.

I'm sorry, man.. that sucks :( I don't know if I'd be able to be friends with someone that I couldn't get over. It seems like the heartbreak wouldn't be worth it, plus you might pass up an awesome lady if you're too hung up on the friend. You should try to go out with other friends.

First, unrequited love is an awful feeling.  (((classmatters)))

I agree with the others!  You shouldn't go out with your friend, but you should find some other people to go out with.  Try opening your eyes to other women...if you spend all of your time thinking about someone who will never love you back (the way you want her to), you will never find someone who will.  Someone is out there for you, but you will never find her if you are always pining after your friend. 

Good luck and I hope you have a nice Halloween!

Thank you folks.

If I had other people to go out with I'm sure I would.  Unfortunately I don't have any other options.

I'm not sitting around waiting for her to change her mind or anything.  I've tried dating sites, asked friends to try and set me up with any single women they know.  But I get ignored all around.  Quite frustrating but I've kinda grown accustomed to it.

And just to top it off, I found out that a guy that's interested her was thinking about going to the same place.  She says she's not interested in dating him but she usually still ends up dating those folks, provided they're not me of course.

At least I finally got to pass out candy this year to the kids.

So I was snooping through your interests to see what hobbies you like.  Maybe tomorrow you could organize an anarchic rally against supervisors. 

Do you have any less confrontational interests along the lines of gardening?  Reading?  Writing?  If you do, maybe you could join a book club or a writing group.  Or take classes around some of your other interests.  You might meet someone interesting if you tried that.  When you find other friends, you'll have less interest in this girl.

Note the time I'm posting at.  I'm home tonight too--you aren't the only one.

P.S.  I'm glad you didn't go tonight.

I was in similar situation as you. My advice is to cut all ties and move on.

UD

Honestly, maintaining this friendship is going to leave you chronically heartsick, with the highs of being around her but always it will be not quite right...whereas ending the friendship (meaning: cutting off contact for your own good) will hurt like a mofo for a while, maybe even a long while, but will eventually get better with time. However, while you're best friends with this girl, you will not be able to start another relationship - even when someone is interested, learning that you are hopelessly in love with your best friend will be a massive turnoff to all comers. And honestly, though you think you are open to new people, being emotionally attached to/longing for someone else does happen to seep through every dating interaction, often entirely subconsciously, changing the overall impression you put out there.

You're in a stasis pattern right now, and as long as you maintain this friendship, nothing will change. You might even find that you have to leave town and start over somewhere else in order to make it work, if lacking the willpower to stay away under current circumstances (I lack that willpower too, so I sympathize) -  you say you don't have other social contacts than her where you are anyway, so that might not be such a big deal. Find a town that suits your style and personality, move there, find work, join groups that interest you (you seem quite politically active, that's a great way to integrate yourself into a new city), and start over. This life you're leading and this dance you're dancing with this girl is a nonstarter, and I suspect you know it...And the worst is that you are robbing yourself of years of your life that could otherwise be spent growing, changing, and falling in love.