Lose 10 by Christmas -- starting now!

I have been within 10 lbs of my original goal of 150 for at least a month. 

I got all the way down to 153, and then sodium and stress bumped it back to 159, 157 today.  

I would like a group of motivational girls to buddy up with who exercise, try to eat right, to work with on a challange to get to goal!!!!

I run with my dog and ride an exercise bike -- every day.   I was using a Bowflex religiously with fantastic results, but I broke up with my ex of 4+ years and it was his..... so any strength workout ideas would be helpful!  I drink at least 100 oz of water every day at work, more at home.  My ex sort of helped me into a drinking problem with his World Of Warcraft addiction, so I am trying not to drink much and just be social vs. what I was doing.....  I have no friends (except at work) who were not OUR friends, so I am struggling a little with boredom eating and long nights and weekends with nothing to do....  I live in one small town and teach in another, so there's not much to do for young singles...  

Anywho, hoping to find a kicking group of hot chicks to lose 10 lbs by Christmas.....    JOIN ME!!!  ( :

I know I should journal more... I'm usually not around the computer when I have my stupid moments though... but I guess you could say I was feeling tired (not enough sleep) and just wanted to eat like no other.... it was "hmm that sounds good" then whatever wasn't and move on to another thing and so on... then it the thought in my self defeat attitude of a head was I'm not losing anything anyways... I know, I know, not the right attitude...

Soraya- Most everything is ok in moderation, and I say it is ok to take a break after 10 days as long as you get back the next day... if only I could make it 10 straight days.... And if you are going to choose one glass of wine over smoking- I say wine! But as long as you know you can keep it in check.

I think I need a smaller goal for behaving... say 5 days first and then 10 days and 15 until I can behave well for most days.....seriously, I am a child :) Maybe I will reward myself with a sticker or something

I think it is good to be introspective, bells--- and know yourself well enough to then set those smaller, more reach-able goals for now....   ( :    nothing wrong with that at all.    ((((((HUGS))))))    why down?  or was the first paragraph an example of why you don;t journal....   

Well I did break down yesterday, and was a little bad.. a friend came by with a bottle of wine and before I knew it I was going in for glass after glass plus I had opened up another bottle and drank most of that, plus I did bad I did smoke some cigs... at least not a pack! but I'm only human and I've been more of a bad girl before so I'm going to not beat myself up over it this time. I've come so far in the past cple years with the drinking that I am at least changing in major ways... at least I had fun! and I hadn't seen my girlfriend in like a month or so so it was worth it :) ... I just know to work out today extra hard and flush my system w/lots o' water...  

I'm maintaining my focus and trying to still practice discipline especially during these times... financially, romantically, etc., things aren't yet where I would like them to be so I'm trying to keep my mind strong and my thoughts positive and my feelings blissful - all is at is should be and I am practicing going with the flow and accepting everything for a greater good...  And with getting my body back to my original healthy weight is going to be a big task but one that is not so difficult / okay sorry for the rant! ... where is our crew at????? where's everyone???  thank you ladies for being in the same boat as me and paddling upstream 

I just don't journal more b/c I am not around the computer. The rest is my explanation for my bad weekend :) thanks for the hugs J! Introspection is something that I need to do- I just have troubles talking to me about me

S, I think it is ok in good company and fun to let loose a little :) and sounds like you know it too, which is great! I hear you about not having things where you want them to be yet, and you have a great attitude about going with the flow... I need to learn that a little better.

Tell me that we did not lose annulyju or syzhu (maybe busy with finals?)

I did soo bad in the past couple of days, I'm truly ashamed of all the food I ate, plus I didn't work out for 2days so I feel really really bad right now, I'm just frustrated and I'm not losing as much weight as I'd like and I feel totally unmotivated, I just want to eat and eat ... I feel bad and defeated :( 

hey soraya.....   it;s easy to do once you fall off a little.   **holds hand out from back of the wagon**      I am right there with you.   I've been drinking a little more than I should after "buying the big bottle" because I was having company and it's cheaper to buy bulk.....  I always do the same thing when I talk myself into the big bottle.   blush.    And every time my ex comes by to hang out, I smoke a few cigs too.   I will never buy my own again , but I too am guilty of that as well.   

Here's what got me back on the jogging after a 4 days lazy break ---  I feel better when I worl out.  I make better eating choices too those days.   you are not alone.    YOU CAN DO IT   ( : 

miss bella   ( :    I understand.   and I think you must be right---  other ladies just busy with school and life   ( :   I feel strangely free from Xmas stress because everyone knows I have no money to buy stuff, so no gifts for me to buy.    nice.   

SPeaking of XMas, I am so not going to make my goal the way I am going by Xmas, but the boy I was supposed to see again, my high school sweetheart M sounds like he is going to be busy with unexpected family during the time that was mine, so my motivation is weird right now too.  that pisses me off, but what can I do?    I will keep on keeping on -- I always do.  ( : 

((((HUGS)))) to you all

Hello ladies!  I've missed you.  I haven't been around much because I have a horrible sense of embarrassment in the pit of my stomach which is causing me really bad anxiety.  I think it is a mixture of not seeing any weightloss, I mean not even a little bit.  I'll drop one day and just as quickly (or even quicker) gain it back.  Thus I avoid the forum so I don't have to think about it. I'm not much of a crier, but I just sat on bed and cried my eyes out.  I exercise 5 times a week (very intensely), eat about 1300 to 1700, everything in moderation, sleep...and nothing. 

I meant to take a picture of my hair to show you guys, but my sister and I got into a heated argument and she left without taking the photo.  It was my fault...I'm rather moodly. Oh well, I'll go see her tomorrow. I did get loads of compliments on my hair last night when I went out to the bar, but everyone was rather drunk, (I made sure I showed up at 11pm so everyone would have a head-start on me and not bother me because I only had 1 vodka club, 1 beers and loads of water

How are you ladies doing?  I'm sorry to be the voice of doom and gloom this weekend, it is just one of those days...

trust me junie I'm in the same boat!!! I work out hard every day, tons of cardio, strength all of it... NOT a pound! and I'm sooo frustrated my stomach expands even if I look at food! uh! I'm right there with you! and I am not taking drastic measures, or atleast trying not too (i.e., smoking a pack a day to keep weight down) yuck! 

oh gosh, I just want a glass of wine and cry my eyes out too!!!! 

thnx for encouragement Janay and forget him being your motivation, although that is easier said than done, so I understand... I'm gonna really try to motivate that by 2009 I will bring in the new year atleast a bit smaller than I am today! who am I kidding, I want to bring it in a size smaller! that's my motivation, uh I'm sooo pissed too! 

me too --   I have been losing and gaining te same 5-7 lbs for months.  I lose down to like 152, then TTOM or sodium shoots it back to 157 and I start over.  again.    

DEFINITELY a hair pic.   I need to color mine and get it cut with my next pay check.  that'd be a nice me Xmas.    ---  and junie?   I am feeling like Debbie Downer too.   Really?  I just want to lay down and take a nap or have a good cry, but it is too late in the evening to do that without sleeping tonight.   ( :   so, I think comfort food baked potato maybe .

I am happy mostly with where I am in my clothes,.   it is out of them I still feel like there are things to work on .   ( :    lol ---   I wish I was a better person than I am.    I am doing all kinds of things wrong for the people around me.  bad karma......

What are you doing wrong Janay? What happened? 

just feeling like I am doing my ex wrong.  he wants me back.  I am not sure what I want, but in the mean time, he is wooing me.  Isn;t it wrong of me to let him think it might happen if I think it might more likely not?    that's all.  

Do you still care for him? or bidding your time? Instead you may be keeping the doors closed for a new opportunity to come knocking at your door to woo you... were only human and it would be really bad karma if you were just using him badly, if your not then it's just because you have history and a past with him, and once we are connected to other intimately than that chain link is harder to break, you either go cold turkey and quit him or let him know your feelings up front... has he done you wrong in the past? you may also be subconciously punishing him for any hurt he did to you... have you thought about that? 

edit: sorry I'm the therapist of my friends so I get these kind of questions all the time :) xo

ahh- I am Debbie Downer in a big way too! I'm not entirely sure what I am down about except for the whole weight loss crap and working so hard at it with no results... I just feel down and to add to it, I create my own downers in my head- stupid things like my bf is quite, he must be mad or he seems distant -when I couldn't for the life of me tell myself how- if I try to examine it, I find that I can't see a change and it is all in my head... I am not a person who enjoys drama in my own life, so why am I creating it in my head when I am already down? I too feel like a good glass of wine and a cry... wonder if it is the season or something?

J- it is normal for people to want a companion. I agree with S in that it is difficult to break something with someone you have had a history with... do you honestly feel like you are using him, or do you feel that you have a true friendship? Why does life have to be complicated?

Wishing you all a more cheerful day!

When I am not with J, I see him as my friend.   He wants to be more again.   I want to be his friend.   I do not want to use him, but I do not want to not see him either.  I got some pretty honest if hurtful feedback today on my journal.   I need to figure out what I want ---  just do not know how to do that.    I want to see what else is out there, but he is so close, and so warm, and so familiar.  It is hard to leave that all behind.... I guess..   I need to go back through my old journals and see how I felt before the break up.  Maybe that would solidify my now feelings for me .   We ARE friends ---  he just wants to be more than that ==  me feeling bad because I do not know if that will ever happen again. 

thanks for trying to help, soraya and bella.  I need ALL the help I can get.  I am so screwed up. 

First, you are not screwed up, you are human... everybody deals with and feels things differently. I read the journal feedback- those girls are giving you tough love, and what a great thing to have people who care that much about you! You really have an impact on people.

It is easier to say move on when looking at it from the outside, so maybe read through your journals and try to remove yourself from you a moment and thing of the advice that you would give to a friend. Also put yourself in J and then M's position and think about how you would feel...  It may help to put different perspectives on things...

From my own experience, I can relate to how hard it is to let go of something so familiar esp. being uncertain with the future... I wanted to stay friends with my ex, he wanted more and luckily he decided it is all or nothing and he cut off ties (I felt too bad doing it myself, but it was doing us both more harm than good) Had he not done that, I think I would have gone a long time and maybe till this day with that feeling of guilt and uncertainty and I would have never been able to give my all to the relationship I am in now.... I probably should have taken a lot more time in between the ex and the current, although I am happy, I think I still had/have my own insecurities to work out.......

BUT, like I said, everyone is different... what you have to do is be honest with yourself and also with J- if you want to remain friends, you need to let him know in no uncertain terms that you don't see you being more than just friends, and don't even give him a maybe.... don't give him the hope because it will be even more difficult later.....

I hope this didn't sound like a lecture! You know you and you are the only one who can give yourself answers, but please don't be afraid to keep sharing your thoughts!!

Be your own best friend!! (((((HUGS))))))

hell, bells.   I NEED A LECTURE>   ) : 

I do not know what I want.  Period.  Actually, I do know.  I want it to be a year or two from now, so that I know what the hell I ended up deciding.   

Janay I just finished reading through some of your posts and skimming through the comments. wow, ppl were really tough on you but then again you are open to criticism which is a good thing... the only thing is people can give you lectures all day long and you can hear what they are saying even getting the core of reasoning from anyone.. none of it will work for you unless you step away from all the advice and ask yourself truly what you want in your life, and if you don't know that's okay. But you have to let go, you seem to be holding on to too many things, people, situations, ex's, and you seem to want what you don't have or can't get and that's not a good thing bcuz life will always disapoint you if you have expectations of anything and anyone... I agree w/Bella on so many levels and you seem to have a great support system, but what I'm hearing from you is a lot of victomhood and that will only alienate you from people... we all have pain and past hurts and we all greive and wonder why or whoa is me, but it will get to be a problem if you like the negative 'attention' from others, and trust me ppl will start to resent you for your needyness, nobody likes a victim no matter what.. people are genuinly good people who want to help others who are hurting, BUT when it becomes a regular pattern people will start to notice and veer away from you... I'm just saying this because I truly don't think that you like the negative attention, but if you do, then that's a serious conversation you gotta have with yourself and ONLY you... I agree with Bella about stepping outside of you and taking a look, you may see something that you never noticed before...

xo..soraya

I am not a negative attention seeker, but I can see where you might think that.  I DID tell J thwe truth and that we should not see each other anymore. 

He sent me a long suicide note and pictures of cuttings.     He told me he had planned to do it for real while we were supposed to hang out last night, so that I would be the last thing he saw.    then cryptically, he was going to finish his unfinished note, so that whammo!  it would come when I least expected it.     scary and made me sad.........    I got out of the house last night and I jogged 4 miles on my snow day yesterday.   make me feel better?  no..... but I will be fine.  Pray for him, will you?  and me, I guess too.....  I am just as messed up as he is seemingly..... 

thanks for the tough love, S -- 

hang in there J, this is all the first step to a free and happy life- you can't see it yet, but you will. I hope he gets well on his own and I wish there were words to make you feel better, but only time can do that I guess. You will be fine! I promise :)

thanks, bells.  I know you are right.   Just sucks right now.   ( : 

I will survive.  That's the only option. 

I am going to try my best to make myself use this in a positive way.