losing the battle

I wrote some of this in my journal and feel I need to do something I don't normmally do on the open fourm. That is share my battle with losing weight. This is not easy for me but I need to advice and help. I started here in Jan. wieghed 235 I am now at 191. I should be happy right. NOPE ! I will say these past two months have been very hard for me. Last month I lost a total of 1 lb. I feel like I have lost my momentum and am on a razor edge teetering on disaster. I think last month I lost 5 lbs. It is not that I can not see the change and difference it is that this is where I get VERY afraid. I have issues I can not figure out. This is the point where I normally give up and say why bother I can lose anymore. This is what I call the razors edge. I feel these old thoughts and am doing my best but fail at moving forward most of the time. The other problem is clothing. I have non that looks ok on me now. I see all my other size sitting there and can not afford to get a size that fits so these feelings keep creeping into my head about gaining so i'll at least have some cloths. 

   On a positive note I am walking a least 20 mn and I get in what water I can. One large challenge is I am up late at night like 2 or 3 am and I get hungry to where it hurts.

I don't know if this makes sense and it is hard for me to put this out here but I help.

Janie

I felt the same way about a month ago.  I was just ready to give up.  What I did was just keep focused on the calories & exercise, and just re-commit myself to the weight loss no matter how hard it got.  I think it was a question of discipline with me.  Discipline is not doing what you need to do when it's fun and easy.  Discipline is doing what you need when it's hard and sucks!

It did get better if you stick with it.  My friends on here have really helped me through that.  I'll add you as a friend too.

Good luck! 

wow you've been so successful so far!!  don't worry everyone goes through bumps in the road.  dont give up now!!  just think in another 6 months you could be down another 40lbs!!  and how amazing that will feel for you.  its so easy to make excuses for ourselves when things start to slow down, but seriously, keep up the hard work, if you give up and gain back the weight,  thing of how many months you will have wasted working your butt off!

hope you have a better day! 

WOW, you've done GREAT so far!! 44 pounds!!!! (Is green green green with envy!)

Perhaps you need to tweak your intake a bit. How many calories are you eating? And have you been eating the same foods over and over and over?

For clothes, perhaps you could try consignment shops and second-hand stores. These will not be your permanent clothes; they are just to get you through the time you are losing. Save up for your REAL clothes for later! :-)

Regarding the issues you think are holding you back... you might need to talk to a professional. It's not uncommon for people to use weight to shield themselves from something; this might be so engrained in you that even if the reason for needing the shield is gone, you are in the habit, the mindset, of needing it. If you have medical insurance, it may cover a certain number of visits per year for counseling of some type. (Oh, for parity! Someday, someday.)

A few of us have a wicked game of tag that we've just started. ("Playing tag with Salome" thread.) Perhaps challenging someone else to a game of tag would help you stay motivated?

In any case, you CAN do this. Think of the reasons why you would like to weigh less -- for me, it's helping out my arthritic knees -- and perhaps write them down to remind yourself of what started you down the path. You've come a long way, baby; keep on keeping on!

I have gotten the same way in the past and now I am trying everything possible to lose the weight finally. The things I have been doing different this time is that I am setting small goals for myself for motivation. Such as when I lose the next 10lbs I will get something for myself for example I just got to my last goal weight last week and I am getting myself a massage. My next goal is to lose 15lbs and I am going to get some new Ski Boots. Once I have lost that I will set a new goal of 10lbs and have a treat when I get that. Maybe you can get a new outfit when you reach that small goal or those new shoes you have been dying for. I have also been incorporating new diets through out my weight loss and it has helped with getting over my plateaus. I started with the South Beach and then went to Dr Phil's weight loss program and I have been going back and forth with each of them when I hit a plateau. You make also want to treat yourself once in awhile to a meal you love but is not in your calorie count. I love the Boneless Buffalo Chicken Salad at Chilis and every once in awhile I break my calorie intake and go to have it. That is after I do my kickboxing class or some other major exercise so I do not feel guilty. In reference to feeling hungry late at night eat more protein & vegis at the evening meal instead of carbs. Protein makes you satisfied and feeling full longer and carbs fill you up fast but leave you feeling hungry quicker. Just some suggestions. You are doing well and keep up the good work.

Hi Janie, sorry to hear you're not feeling great right now.  I wanted to just say a couple of things.  First, how about Fakin' It Till You Make It.  Just pretend to be happy with your achievements so far (WHICH BY THE WAY, ARE AWSOME).  If you're anything like me, giving yourself a pat on the back doesn't come naturally, so you have to work on it.  How about just saying to yourself "wow, i've lost XXlbs, aren't i great!".  You might not mean it at first, but it's like anything, repitition works!  Sooner or later, you'll believe what you're saying.

The next thing I wanted to say was, if you have some emotions/issues that are stuck, they'll work themselves out with physical activity.  For me it was Yoga.  I practiced yoga at home.  Lucky I was at home because for the first year, as i released the tension, i released tears.  I literally cried every day, six days a week for 45 minutes as I did my yoga.  It was incredibly healing and liberating.  I really did heal some very deep emotional wounds.

The last thing is, as  athena_tavener said, the whole clothes issue is temporary.  With that in mind, can you be creative with the clothes you have....maybe find a friend who can sew and get them taken in or cut down in some way?  Just a thought.

Good on you for posting and reaching out for help...i find it hard too, i like to think i can do everything on my own.   Just keep going, one step at a time and absolutely ONE DAY AT A TIME. Take care.

We have to stick together!  Don't quit no matter what.  This morning I gave myself a good talking to about not wanting to continue.  I guess it happens to the best of us.   

I am very impressed and proud of you. I started in Feb. and weighed 247Lbs. with a goal of getting down to 199Lbs. I am still at 242Lbs.

But you did it and lost a lot of weight.   YEAH!!

But it isn't time to give up or stop.  OH NO.  Even when you reach your goal you need to focus on maintaining.

As far as the clothes - I agree 2nd hand stores.  Get a couple outfits so that you can see the wonderful progress you have made.

((HUG))

This happends to everyone... My advise is to lock the sca,e away for about two weeks (I know I know) you are loosing inches not pounds right now because you are doing more and gaining muscle!!  (That is a good thing!)  So go buy a tape measure and mesure yourself TONIGHT..  in two weeks take the scale back out and weigh in.  If there is no weight loss, re-mesure yourself.  I mean who cares what the scale says as long as you are looking better right!!!  Inches lost is inches lost!!  Try it!  You will see! 

I was on a month long plateau when HK suggested that I do this and WOW was he right!!

Thank you all for caring enough to reach out it means a lot. What you all have said makes sense. I had some friends tonight tell me almost the same thing look at what you have accomplished.

I am going to do two things first I am going to recheck my calorie count I noticed that my lunch meal is not as much as I thought. So rechecking is in order. Tonight was hard as even after supper I was hungry. I got up and walked a bit got a diet rite and that help.

Second I am giong to start a personal journal so I can write about how I feel instead of knowing I have issues try and figure out what they are or where they came from.  Listening to myself talk to my friends tonight help me realize that there is a child like resistance going on and that child is deadly afraid. So got to do some searching, caring and healing.  Also I need to look at this as a life long thing not just temporary till I get to a certain point. So these are my thoughts and am doing ok for right now and I'll take that.

Thank you all again.

Janie

Hey Lamylouy, this is a journey... there are bound to be bumps along the way. Hang in there! Fight the good fight. And, if I haven't shared it with you yet, I've posted a lot of really great information and useful tips in this thread:

http://www.calorie-count.com/forums/post/8532 .html

i understand. This last month i have lost a total of ZERO. It is very depressing but on a positive note i didn't gain either. As for cloths go to the goodwill stores or salvation army. you can get nice cloths that fit for very cheap. Hang in there. You will get through it

Hang in there...you are doing great.  As for the clothes issue...try looking at garage sales.  Usually lots of clothes cheap.  If that works for you, don't just get the size you are in now...get the next size down too so you don't have the same problem at the next level. 

Hi Janie, first I want to congradulate you on first losing so much weight. almost five 10lb potato sacks!! Think about it!!! It's awesome what you have done for yourself.

Second I want to congradulate you on looking for help when you feel like giving up, I wish I had been so wise in the past.  This is a huge part of the battle, knowing you need help and looking for it instead of just giving up.

While I started July 9 at 245 and have only gotten down to 237.5(every ounce counts lol), I have lost alot of weight in the past. 

 My normal weight was in the 180s for most of my life.  I would diet and lost weight 10-20lbs, once I made it to weighing 152, that was my lowest. 

 And every time I gave up, not once did I think about exploring why and calling out for help.  I simply gave up and ate all my hard work away.

Check out my post in the Motivation Forum called "Here is Help if you Feel Hopeless and Discouraged?"  Post #1 and #13 has alot of advice and tips from people in this community who have answered my call for help.  And believe it has really helped.

You can do this! Hugs.

Jen

I just wanted to second what Dolve 2424 said.

Indeed - I too seem to stop losing at times and really feel like losing hope. But I discovered that a skin-fold caliper bodyfat test shows that even when my weight is not decreasing, my skin-fold thickness is. I mark it down to an increase in muscle equivalent to the level of fat loss.

I found the calipers to be really helpful in staying motivated. Just don't use them more than once every week or two -- they're not accurate enough to the point where you can really do daily tracking.

sciguy

what exactly is a caliper and where can I get one?  I dont like the scale sometimes because its all over the place.... could be because i'm not weighing myself in the morning like I'm supposed to....

You were one of the first people to greet me here, remember?  You encouraged me, pushed me and didn't let me down.  That's the kind of person you are.   You can do this.  Just keep on going, don't stop.  You know where to find me, anytime you need to talk.

Hi Janie - I just read your note.  Wow! You are exactly like me.  I just found and joined this group today.  I am 235 lbs and I need to get down to 115.  I will say, wear the baggy clothes.  Back about 10 years ago I was only 156 and I thought I was fat.  I lost about 25 lbs and looked great.  I even had seen a picture of myself at my sister's house and did 't recognize myself.  I remember my clothes were large and I had this red suit.  I had to pin the top to the bottom to keep the skirt from falling down. 

There is such a long way to go and it is so frustrating.  I used to be able to just count calories and lose, but it seems I forgot about anything that is nutritous.  I am up late too and I get so hungry.  I feel so guilty about eating that I tip-toe around so my husband doesn't hear the refrigerator door openning, the kitchen drawers.

You seem to suffer the same frustrations that I do.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I hate being this fat.  I am so uncomfortable.  I get winded just making the bed. 

Hey LL, I am new to this thread, but not new to the diet/weight loss yoyo. Please...please...hang in there! I have lost and gained all my life and it will only add to your anquish to fall off the wagon now. Focus more on being healthy than on diet. Go to the Salvation Army or local thrift shop...have a yard sale or something to fund it! Stay the course girl...you are strong! You can do it!