Losing a cherished furry family member

[or feathered or finned or scaled or what have you]

It's never easy.  I had to abruptly say goodbye to my best buddy and companion of nearly 5 years, my kitty Arys.  He slipped out the front door late Monday night, and my partner saw him huddled in the middle of the street around 5:30 am Tuesday.  There was a police van pulled over and a cop standing near him, making sure he didn't get struck again.  He said a woman had called, she saw him and wanted to check his tags, but he was hissing at her.  I immediately phoned the emergency vet, picked him up as gently as I could with a towel, and held him close all the way across town.  It was still dark and I couldn't see the extent of his head injuries.  He was breathing laboriously, through the swelling and blood and saliva.  He was placed in an oxygen chamber and given medication for his pain, and his vitals were monitored until my vet opened and we were able to take him in.  The emergency vet quickly rattled off his injuries in technical terms, which I was able to understand given my medical education, but the extent of the damage didn't really set in until I was able to see him in full light.  His eyes were bulging, one completely filled with blood, the other glazed over with a non responsive pupil.  His lower mandible was broken completely in half, through the skin, and bleeding. A couple of his teeth were chipped.  He had obvious periorbital [eye socket] fractures and untold soft tissue, brain damage.  His little black nose was scuffed and bleeding.  His whole face was swollen and he looked nothing like his good ol' self.

Still, though, I thought, just maybe... he made it this far...

Once we were at my regular vet, her face fell and she tenderly explained to me that the only humane thing we could do, given the extent of his head trauma, would be to put him to sleep.  I selfishly did not want to accept that at first.  Even if money were no object, though, it would be a challenge for anyone to save him and he would not be comfortable even if he made a miraculous recovery [which would take a very long time if he even pulled through].  He may have been blind forever, he may have had brain damage, he probably wouldn't be the same life-loving cat he once was. 

I knew what I had to do, but I wanted some private time with him.  Fortunately I live just 5 blocks from the vet.  I made sure that his pain medication would stay effective for a little while longer, and took him home to say goodbye.  I held him and kissed him and told him how much I love him and how sorry I am that this happened.  Even with everything he had been through, he still flicked his tail in response when I spoke to him.  He always flicked the tip of his tail when he was happy.  I told him how tough he is and to please come and visit me.  Then I was resolute in what I had to do.  I took him back in to Dr. Jack and she let me cradle him as she administered the shots.  First a sedative related to ketamine with a bit of valium, and then an overdose of barbiturates.  He looked peaceful despite the devastating injuries.  I felt him finally completely relax, and then his heart beat was no longer audible through the stethoscope.  I held him for a while longer, until I could bear to put him on the table, wrapped in a towel.  Walking out of there without him was searingly painful and I felt like I was set to explode.  It's going to take a good bit of time to get past this, but I'm working on it.

I just wanted to start this thread as a little memorial for pets we've had that have passed away and taken with them pieces of our hearts, and I wanted to tell you to hug and kiss your furry little babies that are still with you, because you will never be fully prepared for the day you part ways in the physical world.  I also wanted to share this poem I found today.

I AM NOT THERE

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

(Author unknown)

I invite anyone who has grieved the loss of pet to add their little story, if they are comfortable, and to acknowledge the memories of all the happy times you shared together, maybe even tell us things that made working through the grief a little easier.  They may be gone physically, but they are surely not forgotten!

I am so sorry for your loss.  Here is a poem about where I believe your Arys is waiting for you.  I hope it helps.  Please know my thoughts are with you.

Chrissy

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Wow. . .that is incredibly sad.    I am so sorry for your loss!

I'm very sorry for your loss :(  It always hurts, but it seems like it's worse when it's sudden and unexpected.  Try to remember the happy times rather than the ending (this is sometimes hard, I know first-hand).  I'm now thinking of my furry friends, past and present...

My deepest symapthies lexabear.

I too got the poem of "Rainbow Bridge".  I took that poem along with my dogs belongings, packaged it all up in a "memory box".

I posted this in my journal :

Rest in Peace Dear Friend Feb 10 2008 09:28 Aggie, you were our dear friend, our loyal companion and "daughter" and sister to this family for 10 years.

Cancer ravaged itself within you and left you weak and in pain.  We had to let you go - we loved you.  You loved us and gave us the strength to let you go in peace and find your comfort.

All I can say is how much I loved you and how dearly you are missed, already.

May 1995 - February 2008 Two weeks later, our family received a sympathy card from the Vet's office along with a card of her foot print.

She can never be replaced.  She has etched a place in my heart.

I have since gotten another pup.  I had an empty space that need to be filled in my heart.  She is working her way into our lives and filling the empty space in my life.  She is truly her own personality. I still find myself making comparisons and mistakingly calling our pup by the wrong name.  That is how powerful she was and how she impacted my world.  My new pup will learn as will I.

Again, my very deepest sympathies for your loss. 

Your thread made me cry lexabear. I cant imagine how traumatic that must have been for you :(

i lost my kitty of almost 13 years last November.  It's almost been 6 months and i still miss her. It's going to be a while before i'm ready for another furry friend.

I picked out my first puppy right after I turned 3.  We fell asleep together in the back seat of the car on the way home.  He's my earliest memory.  He was a mutt and he was my best friend.  We went everywhere together.  When I started school he'd follow me when I walked to school and he'd go home when I went in the building.  I took the bus home and he was always sitting at the end of the driveway waiting for me.  He slept with me at night and always ended up on pillow right next to me.  When I'd go in for dinner he'd pull on my pant legs to try to keep me outside.  He'd climb trees for cookies and he rubbed his nose raw playing soccer with me.  He lived to 12, and he died on my living room floor.  We buried him at the corner of the house where I'd have to hold onto the siding to keep him from pulling me down when he wanted me to stay out and play. 

It's been about 10 years and I think about him all the time.  I still miss him.

Be thankful for the time you had with him and know that Arys is not suffering now.  It is never easy to say goodbye to your loved ones and pets are no exception.  I have buried my share and yes, they are buried in my yard, on a knoll, overlooking the lake.  It's very peaceful and I can go and talk to them there.  Some I had for just a short while and some I had for many, many years.  I believe that they are in heaven watching over us still.

My boy cat's birthday is tomorrow, and the girl's is in 2 weeks, they will be 12. I've never lost a long term pet before, I've had rats that lived 2-3yrs but it's not the same as losing these cats will be.

Sorry for your loss. That's one reason why I wouldn't let my cats go outside (I know you didn't let him, just saying).

Hmm...we got a puppy after I graduated high school.  He was a tiny mutt, looked like a boxer mix.  He was 10 lbs when we got him...and two days later he came down with parvo.  It didn't matter that I'd only had him two days--I was already attached.  So of-course we paid to have him stay at the local animal hospital.  He was there for a week until we finally brought him home; at this point he was only 6 lbs (can you imagine losing 40% of your body weight in a week?!).  We had to baby him back to health, and he ended up being a huge dog! He was so playful, always so excited when someone would come home.  He was the most loyal, sweetest dog in the world.

I was so excited to come home after my freshman year of college because I missed my baby...and on the car ride home my mom told me he'd been shot.  Apparently it happened during finals week and she didn't want me to be upset.  He was still alive when I got home, so I got to see him before he died.  I never cried so much in my life, even when people died.

It's so hard to read this thread--I really feel for ya, lexabear!  I love animals, even though I admit how strange it is to be so attached to them.  I can't imagine life without pets though.  My plan for the future is to adopt as many dogs as I can manage, especially the old dogs nobody wants.  I'm such a sucker for cute animals...:-)

My son and I had to put Yellow Dawg down last fall. She was 13, a yellow labrador. We saw her born. My son was 7 when she was born. He grew up with her. She was so gentle and sweet. We had to put her down before the weather got cold, because she was sick and she wasn't going to be able to take the cold weather.

We were recommended to a vet in this area that was so wonderful. We had a private room and were able to spend as much time with her as we needed after she passed. She seemed relieved as the medication took effect. She knew we were taking care of her.

I feel for your loss.

I am so sorry, lexabear. This made me cry. I know how hard it is to lose a pet... ((( HUGS )))

Big Hugz Lexabear...  I know this pain too well.

Joey

Libby

Duke

Tweety

Moochie

Maggie

Maude

Still in my heart after many years!

I am so sorry for your loss lexabear.   I am trying not to cry but it isn't working, I know exactly how you feel.

I have had many long time babies.  My 10 year old tabby Rivets passed of cancer in 1988.  I had to put down my  16 year old black long hair cat Morgan and his 15 year old daughter Ariel in 2005.  My vet sent me post cards with their footy prints.  I cry everytime I look at them. 

But the worst was my 2 1/2 year old Starrbear - husky/shepard mix.  I am a cat person and Starr could care less.  He crawled into my heart and set up camp.  Unfortnately, he was epileptic and despite medication, he fell into a massive series of seizures last May - the screaming (which was involuntary and not from pain) was heartrendering.  By the time we could get him to the vet, his brain was pretty much gone.  The vet tried his best, but 2 days later he passed away.  I didnt get there till after he was gone.   I never got to tell him he was a good doggie and that mommy loves him.  It still hurts.  

My prayers and those of my current furbabies are with you and your Arys till you meet again at the Rainbow Bridge.

I have 7 cats at home and am deeply attached to every single one of them. None of them have died, but if they did I would be heartbroken. I sympathize with your pain. I am sorry

OMG, you all have me bawling my eyes out over here! I am SO sorry for your loss. It is the hardest thing to deal with. You are never prepared for it no matter when it happens.

I had to say goodbye to my baby girl, Misty (picture in my profile) this past December. She was 14. Her birthday actually would be next Wednesday. I new she was getting old, but I couldn't accept it. She started throwing up on a Thursday night. I was actually sick on Friday and stayed home with her all day. She just layed by my side on the sofa all day long. On Saturday morning we took her to our vet. They said we had to take her to an emergency vet in another town (about an hour away) to have an IV put in because she was dehydrated. We were supposed to pick her up Monday morning and bring her home. I was sure she would be ok, and I would be back first thing on Monday to get her. We got a call in the middle of the night that she had a heart attack. They did everything they could to save her, even performing mouth to mouth. We immediately drove up there to see her one last time and say goodbye. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I am glad I got to see her one last time. They sent us a card with a plaster footprint they had done. I have never been so upset in my life. I couldn't eat or sleep for several weeks and I was angry at the world.

We set up a memorial for her in our house in the area where we kept her toy box. We bought a small table and put all her toys, collar, harness, ect. on the shelves. We got a digital picture frame and put all the pictures we had of her on it (and that was a lot, since I had her since she was only 6 weeks old!) We had her cremated and she sits on the top along with a single white rose (which I replace about every week, and have since the day she died).  We even still have her Christmas presents in their bags on the floor next to the table (with bags, she could open them herself - it was so cute).  I still can't bring myself to open them.

They really do impact your life so much. She took a piece of my heart with her when she left. It does get easier as time goes by, but is never the same. There is always an empty feeling inside me like something is missing...My heart goes out to everyone who has ever lost a beloved pet.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I actually couldn't read the whole post because I'm at work and I started to get teary.

I had a hard time when I had to put my cat down my freshman year in college who we had had for 8 years or so and then the following cat was kidnapped my by the neighbor who thought he was a stray. (because he was always hungry and he wouldn't keep his collar on).

The 2nd cat loved me. He was like a 3 year old kid. I'd come in the house and he'd jump up to the arm of the couch and wait til I walked by so he could reach to be picked up. He wanted to nuzzle all the time. I love him. *sad*

My current cat is pretty evil, (That's why his name is "battle cat") but I love him anyway. He can be nice when he wants to. =)

I am SO very sorry for your loss lexabear.

i lost my dog Benji my senior year in high school after 14 years. he was my best buddy growing up, because i was an only child till i was nine. he had a good long life, and as much as i still miss him, thinking of him now doesn't make me sad anymore, it makes me smile. still keep a few framed pics of him around my house. he was a good good dog.

only people who have loved and lost pets truly know how deeply they can touch you.

Wow, just wow. I found this post right after I got off the phone with our vet. I had to finally make the dreaded appt for our Muncie. My 16 yo Lab who has been a loyal friend is failing so quickly I can't put it off any longer. Just getting through today will be tough, telling my husband and the girls will be even more difficult. I am fighting with what is right and what is selfish. I don't want to do this, but my heart is breaking knowing he is in pain and can no longer enjoy a painfree bit of life. I think maybe this post is my sign that the time is now and it is ok to let him go. Thank you 

I'M Not sure if i'm replying to the right post, but I lost my Dad in FEB and it has been SOOOOO hard. I have two cats, That have been with me through thick and thin and I can't even breathe when I think about losing them. I feel your pain more than you know. *hugglz*

{{julielet}}

for a lab 16 years is an incredibly long life! you must have taken wonderful care of him. it's so hard to let them go, but if he's suffering it's the right thing to do. my thoughts are with you and your family today.