Losing weight and being social

I've been feeling like its so hard to stay on a diet and at the same time stay social as well. Usually my fiancee will want to go out to eat somewhere on the weekends and i hate it because theres not very many options for me at some restaurants, only the same few which have a diet or light menu... then if theres a basket of bread in front of me and i'm hungry... all hell breaks lose. ugh.

My friends always want to meet up for lunch, but i always suggest coffee since i dont have to eat anything, just drink coffee... but i am sure they are getting sick of it..

ughhh. sorry just needed to vent.

Anybody have ideas on how you cope with situations like this?

um, there was a thread about this yesterday or the day before I think, you should look for it.  I'm too lazy, sorry.

I'm not very good at it either.  I have heard that if you can order a somewhat healthy meal and ask for a to-go box right away you can put 1/2 of your dinner in it and take it home.  That way you don't have it staring at you beggin to be finished off.  Or, if there if you don't like to take it to go, if there is something left on your plate, you can pour salt or hot sauce on it to keep you from being tempted to finish it. 

I'm sure you eat lunch, so can't you choose a lunch place to meat with your friends that has healthy salads or something?  I go out to lunch almost every day and I can always find something that is healthy at most of the places we go.  I'm not always good about it , but If I order something not so healthy, I just don't finish it all. 

There isn't an easy solution.  But what I have learned is that if I a) eat 1/2 my portion and bring the other half home and b) order something on the lighter side like grilled fish, it has not affected my weight loss. 

I have also learned that you can't put your life on hold while trying to be healthy and lose weight.  Life will continue to happen- if you remove yourself from it, chances are you will sabotage yourself when you become social again (thats what I did). 

I also try to remember that all the times I have fought the urge to eat the bread it contributed to making my will-power that much stronger.  And when I am out I will say to myself "You didn't give in to the bread at the last restaurant, why would you give in now?"  Building will power and staying true to yourself is just as important as the weight loss itself. 

there absolutely is an easy solution: eat less.

Eating less seems like an easy solution.... but it can be difficult in social settings when everyone around you eats as much of whatever they'd like.  The social aspect of watching your calorie intake is one of the hardest parts, we all know this.  So, while eating less IS the solution, it is not easy at all.  Part of the solution comes from willpower- that is what I was getting at. 

i didn't say it was easy to do.  but it is an easy solution to a simple problem.  you can complicate the problem by adding extra variables, but the solution remains the same. 

it's like one of those math riddles: pick a number, add 5, add 9, multiply by 10, divide by 2, divide by 5, subtract 14, you end up with the same number you started with. 

How about suggesting to your fiancee that you have a romantic evening in and cook a meal instead of going out all the time?  Presumably he knows you're trying to lose weight?   It's a lot easier to keep track of the calories when you know what's going into a dish, you can buy fabulous ingredients and still save a lot of money compared to restaurant prices.  If you went out once a month instead of once a week it wouldn't do quite so much damage.  

Going out for lunch with friends... there's always a low-cal option.  Even if it's not on the menu any decent restaurant will scare up a quickie omelette and a green salad.   If your friends want to meet for lunch in some greasy-spoon cafe or fast food joint then suggest somewhere else.....

It is difficult as you're right - a lot of our social events revolve around food. And yep, maybe there is a "simple" solution but most of us wouldn't be here if it was easy to always do the simple thing we know is best.

If I can pick the restaurant I go with something like sushi (if you like it, of course!) and avoid the tempura, etc. Ordering an appetizer or soup instead of a main can be good, too.

For friends, coffee can work, or how about meeting friends for a walk instead of lunch or even grab a healthy sandwich somewhere along the way...

Drinking a couple of large glasses of water 20 minutes before you go is supposed to help some people.

 

I tend to just work around restaurant meals. This really isn't the absolute healthiest way to go about losing weight, but I've lost forty pounds so far while still eating 1-3 700-1000 calorie restaurant dinners a week. If I know I'm going out that night I eat lighter food during the day: frozen waffle and a serving of almonds for breakfast, fruit and yogurt for lunch, etc. Doing something like that you can definitely still stay close to your calorie level as I assume you're not eating under 1300 calories a day. And if you're exercising and eating around 1500 cals a day, it's even easier to work around. I'd love to eat in an absolutely healthy way but I'm horrible about boxing things up at restaurants and I'm not willing to put my life on hold for weight loss. 

My mom and I get a semi-healthy entree to share. :) That way we both get to indulge a bit and still not eat too badly.

Also, you can ask for stuff without bacon, mayo, or whatever makes the thing full of calories.

Also, you can always ask the waiter to not give you breadsticks. I'm sure they'd be happy to comply. :)

I had/have the same problem.  My husband and I were eating out a lot and as my mother in law put it, thats why we got "heavy".  So what we do is, we have our night out every Saturday, we go to a restaurant and we do eat like the guiltless grill at Chili's or we go to Applebee's (which has a very good weight watchers menu) and then after wards we go rollerblading (well I rollerblade, he bikes). We kind of hold ourselves accoutable for our "eating out".  The rest of the week, we eat at home weight watchers or jenny food, or just good choices.  As for the friends, yes my friends LOVE TO GO OUT TO EAT.  I used to think of it as "torture" but now I think of it as an opportunity to grow stronger.  So if my pals do not want to go to the park or go walking along the beach, then I go along with them but I bring with me a picture of myself. I get the temptation to get some cheese fries or that yummy chocolate ice cream cake and i pull out the picture. I usually just set it down at the table next to my water or iced tea so that I "don't forget" to take it out. Then I order off of the "light" menu.  When I have went out and did not endulge, I reward myself by getting a new shirt, pedi, or something non-food related.  Also, I have also talked to my friends about supporting me and we are now in the process of finding non-food centered things to do.  Our society sure is big on "food"...so I understand it is difficult. Maybe try to think of these times as opportunity for growth, to be stronger against the food.

Good luck!

-April

Maybe you might want to take a break from food-related socializing right now. When I quit smoking I stopped hanging around smokers for a while, focused on getting healthier plans together, and didn't go too hard on myself. You're making a really big, awesome change in your life and that takes time. Aminjarez, right on - that is so true about being in a food-centered society.

I also have this problem. I mean, why should everything in life revolve around food?! Go out, have dinner. Go to the movies, eat popcorn. Get together with friends, have tea and pancakes. WTF!! Drives me insane...

Everytime I go to my friends' houses, we have a BBQ (South Africans LOVE to BBQ) and I always end up eating all the chips or sweets before the meal even begins. So now for the next couple of weeks I've decided not to go out, just to get back on track. Anti-social, I know. From now on, if my friends want to see me, they must come over to MY house and I will cook for them ^_^