Loss of perspective on "reality" for those of us with ED. And goodbye.

I've just started to really realize how this website has negatively impacted my life.  I'm not blaming CC, but honestly before I accidentally stumbled upon it while looking for the calories in an almond I just ate healthy and balanced meals.  I was a healthy weight and didn't need to lose.  But once you start coming here it sucks you in if you let it (once again not blaming CC). 

I started counting every calorie that entered my body and became obsessive about it.  I was able to ween myself from that and thought that the negative aspect of CC had been fixed for me.

Recently I've begun to realize that this site really skews my view of what is normal and healthy.  For example: normal, healthy individuals don't work out every single day, count every single calorie, try to figure out how many calories what exercises burn , or figure out what their calorie surplus or defecit is.  For thos of us with ED that aren't TRYING TO LOSE weight this type of behvaior is ridiculous.  In regular society, only people that need to LOSE weight do these things. 

I have no clue where this realization came from, but it was lika an epiphany.  People on here with ED (including me) are obsessing over a daily calorie intake, wanting a specific #, and its CRAZINESS.  That isn't reality. 

So slowly, I'm really, really trying to correct my thinking about food and diet and to stop looking at food as a calorie #, but rather as healthy or not.  And to stop looking at exercise as an activity done to burn calories, but rather an activity done to promote cardiovascular health. 

The reason I find breaking away from CC so hard is because there are so many great people on here with great advice and great support for each other.  And thats what I come back for. But for my own health I have to say goodbye and try to move past counting calories.  So I'm asking that my account be deleted. 

I want to thank evryone who gave me such incredible support during the beginning of this journey.  I wish you all luck & success in your recovery.  I am now ready to start phase 2 of my recovery. 

WOW... i could have typed that one up i just never have... i think i may have been better off w./o this site sometimes... i feel exactly the same way as you... thank you for putting it out there and reminding me!

also i dont blane c/c but just my obcessiveness and control i think i need....

 

and everyone i have talked to on here have helped me TREMENDOUSLY with my recovery! but the counting/burning/exactness is way ridiculous and i think we need to go live our lives... i do NOT wanna look back on having a calorie counter in my favorites when i am 50 yrs old!

*HUG* Luv you! I totally understand what you mean.. and seeing it typed out by someone else... reinforces my thoughts. I'm still working on not counting everything, but I love seeing everyone on here and reading their encouraging words.

kudos to you.

a great decision.

well done for the insight.

i wholeheartidly agree. the whole notion of the site and its tools (while useful) promote and provoke those already obsessed with food and its negative association.

congrats and best of luk with ur life

I can completely relate - I used to count calories like crazy, I even used to avoid social situations because there'd be food the calorie count of which I wouldn't know.

After a while I became completely sick of it, so I just started eating balanced meals for breakfast, lunch, dinner... surprisingly, I didn't gain weight and maintained like I wanted, so I quit counting, realizing that the trick to being healthy isn't in numbers, but only in balance. Now I return to this site to answer people's questions, and just to enhance my knowledge of health and fitness. But boy am I glad to have quit counting - there's no way anyone can do that for a lifetime!

I am EXACTLY the same. About 2 years ago I was a completely normal teenage girl, eating whatever I wanted, pretty much at my current weight. I remember ordering whatever when I went out to eat, going out for pizza after school, and I specifically remember going to my one friend's house and her mom cooking for us and just eating the french-fry type potato things she made (lots of them). granted it may not have been the healthiest all the time, but dammit I was NORMAL. I didn't live in this secret life of cutting and counting calories. I don't necessarily blame CC at all, I read somewhere else online about counting calories, and this site just had all the tools.

Calorie-counting is great and effective for weight loss, that is if you don't let it swallow you whole (no pun intended).

Then in the spring of that year I saw pictures of girls who were skinnier than me, and I realized I wanted to change. I guess I never really knew from the beginning how many calories I was supposed to be getting in the first place, so I automatically started keeping my counts very low (think 8-900). Then I got stuck in this rutt, and once I realized I was so unhealthy I tried to "help" myself, but in the wrong way. I just gorged on crappy food and ended up gaining about 25 lbs. I've finally lost almost all of it, but I still struggle at times. I think once I'm truly happy and comfortable (and won't freak out if I gain a little), I'm gonna try to let go of counting, or at least not be so strict about it.

Thanks for posting this, it was a push in the right direction for me. and I've had thoughts like this for a long time.

i'm scared of getting too obsessive :(

hello. i wish you all the best - some approaches are just not meant to be for everyone, and calorie counting and all that logging is probably not for you. i hope you have a satisfying life without all the hassle!

I completely understand what you mean and I can get obsessive with counting or exercising as well. But through a lot of will power I've managed to stop using all the calculators on here and just come to talk to all the great people who have really helped me overcome this ed. Eventually I know I'll have to break away but for now it's good for me to know I have a place to come to when I need someone that understands what I'm going through.

This is a great step in your recovery and I wish you all the best! We'll miss you! Add me on facebook if you have one (links are in my profile) :)

I'm afraid to say I completely relate. My mind is too preoccupied with counting calories, making sure measurements are exact. But even then, it never seems like enough. I;'m still scared to eat out, i'm still scared to eat certain foods because CC doesn't have a log for them. If CC says that 1 cup of cherrios is 110 calories yet the box says 100, I tend to go with CC

I know this site is not some infallible God I must follow the rules by, but even I admit I need to lay off of it. But it's just too difficult for me to do that.

I hope you come back (not to count calories, but just to hang out soon), your posts are always inspiring and I can say that a lot of people on here will miss you :(

you know, as much as i like it in here, i've been feeling the same way. sometimes you just dont realize how much you're doing something until someone points it out. Last night i was out for a bike ride and i thouht to myself that i had to log it in when i got back home. Then i said to myself, the calories are burned whether you log it in or not! And then when i got home, where did i go: straight to the computer to log. And my son said to me,"How come you're always in here??" My answer to him was, " it's like a chat room", but the true answer is that i'm hooked on the counting. Now i wont say that the calorie counting hasnt been good for. It has, its made me more aware of what i'm eating. But i do it all the time! When we're on vacation, even!!

I'm easily influenced, i hate to admit, and when i come in and read some of the stuff in the forums i get confused or think that i'm not doing something right and second guess what's been working for me all along!!

I suppose in time, as i get closer to my goals and feel more confident in making smart food choices without CC holding my hand i'll count less or not at all...I mean i realized when i got here, and i started counting, that i was already eating well. I was already on the right track when i got here!! I just needed to increase my exercise. I mean, think about it...i had lost 20lbs on my own by doing all the right things BEFORE I GOT HERE. OMG. it just hit me.

Maybe its time for me to stop counting............maybe i'll try a day or two off of the logging and just come do the journals...

I agree and that's why i've stopped coming here but once a month or so to check up on the forums. Some people here take it way too far and I just can't stand the obsessiveness that resonates through the forum sometimes.

Wowww, I can totally relate to a few of you here! I was a completely "normal" human being wanting to lose a few lbs and tone up until I encountered CC. I guess I am also one of those people that get easily obsessive about these things and I started counting everyyy single calorie (at one point I would even count artificial sweeteners, coffee, and gum! I've seen a few people here that do that too...it's ridiculous). I started restricting sooo much, that I developed an ED. I would always think, "well, CC says it's rated a D so I can't eat it." stuff like that..

Now i'm recovering. Estimating my calories now, not so obsessive about it. But the truth is once i'm done I think I'll have to part from here too...Because CC is just too triggering for me.

People here need to realize that food is food;it's not an enemy, as many of us see it. Some people here are like, "OMG I ATE A COOKIE WHAT NOW". I understand people are trying to lose weight, but that is not normal behavior. It definitely made me not want to treat myself when I saw forums like this. I think I seriously developed a fear of sweets and saturated fats? It sucks.

CC did help me become more health conscious, and I love the people here. I am grateful for that. But at the same time, now I know how many calories pretty much everything has...and I wish I would've never known.

It's all about eating a healthy, balanced diet, and loving who we are :-)