If you have lost a lot of weight, how do new people react when they find out that you used to be obese?

Im just wondering.  I think people can be really judgemental, which is why its nice not to be obese (like i currentlyy am).  However, if you have been obese then it will always be a part of your past.    I'm wondering how new people you meet as a skinny person react when they find out that you used to be obese.  I've been obese since early childhood, so I guess I'm always trying to figure out what it'd actually be like to lose all this weight and how the world would treat me/react to me.

I can't really imagine a situation where it would crop up.   People tend to take you as they find you so if they meet you and you're a slim person they'll take you as a slim person.  If, for whatever reason, you tell them you used to be obese (or someone else does) the reaction will probably be 'wow, you'd never know'. 

People do treat obese people differently to slim people in subtle ways which you'll come to notice.  But that's just the way life goes.

Here's when discrimination comes in. Some people shun 'bigger' people and when they meet a person who used to be obese, they wouldn't know what to say.

The OP asked about 'new people'..... Not people that already know her.

Yes, some people treat fat people differently to normal-sized people.... that's just the way the world is and we deal with it and get on with life.   But if someone's just met you and don't know about your past they can't judge you on any aspect of it, good or bad.  They don't know you're an ex-fatty any more than they'd know someone else was an ex-drug addict or ex-alcoholic....  They take you as they find you. 

I can understand  what you mean, being someone who has lost a considerable amount of weight in the past (and gained some of it back of course).  What I have come to know and live by is this:

When you change, you do it for you and no one else.  Those that mind, don't matter, and those that matter, don't mind.

Whether a person is new in your life or goes way back, they will respect your decisions to change (if they matter).  That is not to say that you will not meet some others along the way.

I have always been blonde.............some people think all blondes are dumb.  Some think all fat peopple are lazy.............their problem.  Let them deal with it!

I used to be almost 300lbs.  When I met my friend Meredith, I was around 165 (I'm around 180 now, gained some on a road trip and living in Africa but I'm back on track).

I didn't tell her I used to be obese when I first met her, but as we became friends I showed her a picture of me.  She was like HOLY CRAP is that REALLY YOU!?!   We laughed about it and she was like wow, you're like a whole new person, and we talked a lot about how my life was before and how it is now etc.  She still brings it up sometimes, she'll say You know I was thinking about your picture...

Sometimes its just funny but sometimes it's a little annoying.  I mean, personality wise I'm the same person (almost...I'm a tiny bit more confident now, but not as much as you'd think because I still have self esteem issues and still feel like the fat girl) and I was just as smart, wise, funny, fun etc when I as 300 lbs as I am now.  But to her and other people, I must have been completely different, as if someone 300 lbs coudln't possibly be this same bubbly friend that they're talking to.

Other people don't really react at all, really it's only if I show them a picture.  It's hard to picture the person in front of you twice their size if you don't have a reference.  Then you see it and it's like OMG that was YOU!?!

I was never obese.  But I used to be about 25lbs heavier.  I know that's not alot compared to some people here.  But the strangest thing someone has ever said to me was "wow.  You used to be heavier?  I just can't picture that weight on you".

The person's comment wasn't bad, but the first thing I would probably say to someone who confided to me that they used to be obese is "Well, congratulations!  You look great!"

I guess I just don't understand how some people find it so hard to just give a "congratulations" and then move on.

I was only just obese at one point, but I was overweight for many years, and friends I've made in the past 1 or 2 years are always very surprised. They also say they can't "picture the weight" on me and I don't look like someone who's lost weight. I always take this as a big compliment, as I think people who lose weight too quickly or aggressively (or are just unlucky!) can look very tired and stretched and saggy - so I always take it to mean I look natural and not too thin or sad! 

I also think certain people suit certain weights, so hopefully they mean I look normal and nice at this weight - not like a natural skinny who's let herself go or a naturally bigger girl dieting to try to be something that doesn't suit.

this is a very interesting topic discussion that I can totally contribute to from my own experiences....

ever since I was young up until my senior year in high school I was morbidly obese (I weighed about 265-and at one point higher-by the spring of my senior year)....(I am now a 5'7'' 20 y.o male who weighs 140)...I then started losing weight that spring and was down from 265 to 132 by that following February. By time I got to college I was like 180 so people there never knew me to be obese...just someone who might have been a little overweight and trimmed down...so as I made and continue to make so many new friends and acquaintances there no one knowsabout my past....but it does come up sometimes unintentionally in discussion when that issue of weight/eating/exercising is brought up...I am open about it....but honestly no one ever really believes me because I am so slim now and the way I eat and exercise...and when they see old photos on me from hs on facebook or my drivers liscense or something like that they always ask me about "what happened" and think it's an entirely different person....

unfortunately I have been in situation where some of my friends have been making fun of /criticizing an overweight person...one time a friend told me how she "hates fat people" and didn't udnerstand why they were so lazy etc (this was before she knew I was overweight)...well I spoke up and I think that kind of put her in her place...so people do treat you much differently when you are thin which in my opinion is absolutely terrible in sooo many ways and compeltely unacceptable....

my "old" friends who knew me when I was overweight and know me now I think see me as a compeltely "new" person even two years after losing the weight...I get frustrated when they don't see that while my physical appearance drastically changed my personality and values and all that important stuff have really not (just a little more confident...and yea a little more vein regarding how I dress and stuff-not b/c I'm selfish or anything, just because I'm proud of my accomplishment)

I am not at all ashamed of my past of being overweight...it was who I was...I was a great person then and still am a great person now...just healthier (which was my number ONE reason for losing weight over all else)...I am proud if and when it comes up to discuss my weight loss...I think it is definately up there on my lists of personal accomplishments....that's not to say I go around bringing it up always...

but I also think it is also important for anyone who might be struggling with their weight, as someone who has been on both sides of the scale....being thin and stuff isn't everything by any means in life and the grass isn't always greener on the other side...I feel like I always thought losing all that weight would completely transform my life and be the solution to end all problems only to find out there were other things in my life missing, and that being overweight was only a significant piece in a larger puzzle towards my happiness....I'm still single, pretty shy, and overly caught up in school work and work...I always pictured losing weight changing these things...nope, bcause I still have all 3 thing sin my life now lol

About 3 years ago I was obese. I had a BMI of 37 (207 at 5'3) and current have a BMI of 25, so just over what is considered a normal weight (145). People who have gotten to know me after my weight loss have such different options of me. One of my coworkers that started at my work after my weight loss kept making comments about me being a health nut. She sees me eating well, never running out for fast food, and going to workout on my lunch hours. I have told her about my weight struggles and she has told me that she just could never picture me at that weight... so I showed pictures. lol

Anyway, people react to me differently because I am a different person. It is not just about the weight. My priorities have changed, activities that I participate in have changed, my self esteem has greatly improved, and because of that I interact with people differently.

My best friend used to be 100 lbs heavier than she was when I met her.  Of course she didn't bring it up right away, but when I did realize my only thoughts were, wow, what a lot of hard work and will power!  If anything it made me admire her more. I really think most people will react like this. 

If it's someone "new" to you, why would you even offer it up for quesition?

Here is a reverse scene.  I always used to weight about 120-130 pounds. Guys were always oogling me and hanging around  me, which I hated. I tried to be nice about making them go away but the wouldn't . I didn't want to outright rude, so I would go on and on and on about my husband, they would still try to get me to go out with them or whatever.  Women were catty "nice" to me but I would hear that they were being nasty behind my back and calling me nasty names because of the guys that sniffed around me.   AS I STARTED GAINING WEIGHT ( and I really did pack it on over the years)  The guys that used to fall all over themselves to help me with the smallest stuff  would not even help with really heavy objects or things I really needed help with ( i used to work in a factory)..  The women became even nicer to me to my face , but some would say things about how fat I had gotten, how big my butt had gotten, That I would need a forklift to take me down the aisle to a meeting.  I was pregant then with toxemia/preeclampsia.  So after I had the baby you can impagine how mean they got.

I am very large now, and  the guys stare at me and smile while I am in my car, but look me over once I get out of the car  and get the "ewww" look on their face.  The women I used to know love that I am fat.  People I used to know get UP INTO MY FACE as if they are looking into a window and say  is that you????    I reply, yes, I am still in here somewhere.

YOU definitely get treated better and with more attention when you are thin.  I would like to be back to at least 150, not to impress anyone, but just so I feel better about myself .

After I lost weight (70lbs) I also lost my job (I used to work as beauty therapist).

I was quite thankful I suppose as I was sick of explaining my weight loss to clients. One client I hadn't seen for a year asked me how long I had worked there, so I said 3 years. She then asked if another girl worked there, so I described the other girl - tall, slim, dark hair. She said, & I quote "No, there was another girl, bigger built". She was quite embarrassed when I said "Um... that was me".

I don't really mention it to new people I meet. I met my boyfriend after I had lost weight & have shown him photos. He described it as "me but hamster-fied" as I had very chubby cheeks. As for people I work with, most of them know & seem to come to me diet/healthy eating advice or recipes.

Actually the sweetest moment I had was with this woman I work with when I had just started whos the kind of person thats always done anything you've done but better. One time we were talking about weight loss & I said that I had lost a fair amount of weight & she said "I lost 3 stone" & was like "I lost 5". She was a bit flustered by it as she not used to being out done. He he he!

I have a reverse story.  We hired a new receptionist at my work and I guess she weighs around 140-150.  I have worked with her for the past six months so she has seen my hard work and effort pay off (I've lost 55 pounds). 

Well one day in the lunch room she confided to me that she had been close to 400 pounds about five years ago.  She had gastric bypass surgery and the weight slowly came off.  My first reaction was to congratulate her and then pepper her with questions, not too personal of course, but things I struggle with myself.  She couldn't have been nicer, I guess because I didn't intrude too much.  I would have never, in a million years guessed that she was once that size!  She looks great now!

Original Post by mommakitty:

If it's someone "new" to you, why would you even offer it up for quesition?

Because sometimes people  make comments about fat people in front of you.  Because sometimes you want to tell people about your history.  Because sometimes people ask you why you eat the way you do and you want to be honest and explain. 

Someone I've JUST met...NO you are TOTALLY right lol, I would never say Hi, I'm dove and I used to weigh 300 pounds, nice to meet you! ;o)  But after I've been friends with you for a bit, it might come up. 

exactly dovelette.  being obese is a part of who i am--ive been this way for 20 years and it has effected almost every aspect of my life.  i know that we shouldnt define ourselves by our weight, and i dont, but i'd feel like an imposter to just hide and deny that i'd ever been obese, once i had the lost the weight. 

i wouldnt tell strangers either, but i couldnt imagine having a best friend or husband that didnt know that about me.  its important, even though its not.

Just today I was talking with a chick and she was talking about how she just completed her first 10k. (mind you people see that I'm fit and fitness ALWAYS comes up in conversations somehow). Anyhow, we were talking and I said how I love to run too, and it came out that I used to be 205-210ish. I am 135 now. Anyhow, I always get the same reaction "Really? Reeeaaalllly?? But you're so petite, I can't even imagine that". lol... they almost look at me like I am lying sometimes and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. It's sometimes almost like if I am honets about me being obese before they don't respect my fitness regime any longer. lol... weird but true.

I also have a pic of me when I was way big in my communal office, every now and again people will say "Who's this??" and someone else will say "Oh that's Mel" and I always get the NO WAYYYYY... lol. I don't mind putting it out there just simply bc I kicked a lotta ass to get where I am. Capice?

Original Post by jessicasbc:

exactly dovelette.  being obese is a part of who i am--ive been this way for 20 years and it has effected almost every aspect of my life.  i know that we shouldnt define ourselves by our weight, and i dont, but i'd feel like an imposter to just hide and deny that i'd ever been obese, once i had the lost the weight. 

i wouldnt tell strangers either, but i couldnt imagine having a best friend or husband that didnt know that about me.  its important, even though its not.

 It's so funny you say that!  Acutally, I met my hubby when I was at my thinnest, around 160.  I lost weight quickly and carried a lot of it in my stomach so I have a bit of a flabby tummy (15 years of obesity will do that to you), so the first time he saw my tummy, I didn't know what to say.  I hadn't brought up the weight loss yet.  He's 6'0 tall and at that time maybe 165lbs, very cut and the cutest butt ever lol.  So that was a little akward...but I'll never forget the first time we were fooling around and some clothes came off and I kept trying to hide and he stood up and said "You're so beautiful and you don't even know it." He still didn't know that I had lost a lot of weight but I told him soon after.  his response to that was very anti climatic, he just said "Ok." He could have cared less because i honestly feel to him, it had nothing to do with outside appearence, he just loved me (and still does). 

His not making a big deal of my weight loss (or subsequent weight gain, weight loss, weight gain, weight loss lol, changes in diet, in eating, going organic, etc) is one of the things I love about him.  I'll say Okay honey, so we're going to switch to XYZ (eating more beans, no more white foods, inceasing omega 3 fatty acids, eating 7 veggies a day, only using olive and canola oils, eating nothing procesed, whatever new healthy thing I'm trying to incorporate), and he'll just say Ok, sounds good.  Lol

thats a great story dovelette.  at the end of the day, i dont want to be around people who would think badly of me if I was obese,  I just kind of wonder how many people subconsciously dont like fat people.  it'd be pretty sad if i had a bunch of friends or a boyfriend who were totally cool in every way, and then one day blurted out something awful about fat people, not knowing that i had been that way myself.  it'd be such a disappointment.   the same way i wouldnt tell everyone about it, people wouldnt always be upfront about their prejudices.  i guess, just like anything else, it'd be a guessing game.