I would love some advice!

So I've come to the realization that I haven't been eating enough to gain weight and often I'm hardly getting 1200 calories a day (sometimes less, I'm sure). I have all the best intentions and I'm so sick of this ED but when I go to order food at a restaurant/dining hall/ go to cook something, I can't bring myself to eat something higher in calories (basically I've been subsisting off of sandwich type things). At first I was trying to eat PB then I binged a week ago on half a jar, got really sick, and I'm kind of scared to eat it again. Also, I'm lactose-intolerant so that adds more problems. And I'm getting scared of eating cereal because I will eat way too much (half a box) then feel sick. This morning I tried to use a bit of butter to make my (egg white :( ) omelet and was literally shaking and felt physically ill by the time I did it. I'm sure I'm not the only person who has gone through such things and I was just wondering if anyone had any advice. I really really want to be successful here, I'm just so scared of binging and I'm not gonna lie, sometimes get freaked out about weight gain. YET I WANT TO DO THIS! I've actually lost a bit from 105 (height 5'7) and saw my parents today (who could tell that my face was looking 'gaunt' again). Sorry this is so long but I just need some advice about what to do. I'm actually going to eat chinese tonight with friends (which I haven't done in FOREVER) and have no idea what to order. I want to eat healthy but I'm now realizing that I'm not getting enough calories. Any advice on how to change my awful, ED influenced brain?

Thanks so much, I really appreciate everyone's opinion on here. Only my parents and my doctor 'know' (although I'm sure others do) about my ED so this board is a great method of support for me. Thanks again, guys!

I don't know if I can really help, but I totally know what you're going through!

I've been feeling the same way lately...I really just have no desire to eat ever and I have to force myself all day. I've been trying to go back to "lower-cal" options to be eating "normally" again, but I can't get enough calories in that way, so I've had to resort back to the foods I was eating at the beginning of trying to gain--lots of dairy (fuller fat), at least a cup of nuts a day.... Maybe that would be helpful for you--instead of trying to add butter to an omelette, add in your required calories a "safer" way, maybe with ensure or nuts. Try going back to the higher-calorie foods that you're comfortable with...at least until you can be sure you'll get enough calories without them.

You could also try to add in dairy (I find it's much easier to up calories if you're drinking milk, eating yogurt, etc.). My bf is lactose intolerant, and when we first found out, he would vomit if he ate anything that contained even a little bit of dairy. There are a few things you can try: there are lactose-free dairy products that you can buy...but this might be difficult if you aren't buying all of your groceries. There are also lactase pills that you can take (the enzyme that breaks down lactose) and you just have to take between 1-3 of them before you eat dairy products. The third thing that is helpful is to eat yogurt; yogurt contains lactobacillis bacteria which use lactose as an energy source. Therefore, the lactose concentration in yogurt is already diminished, and the bacteria will actually help your ability to digest lactose. For my bf, the lactase helped the most and he actually doesn't even need to take them anymore.

I hope that helps...just remember how much better you look when you're eating enough, and how much better you feel!

Thanks for the advice. Nuts are a good option, I'm planning on hitting up Trader Joe's later and should get some. Also, I drink the lactose-free milk and that helps but I didn't know that about the yogurt. Thank you for the advice!

I really wish I could stop freaking out about food/counting calories. I'm so sick of how it's consuming my life. Ugh.

Original Post by toridl:

I really wish I could stop freaking out about food/counting calories. I'm so sick of how it's consuming my life. Ugh.

i agree! i wish i could too. it would make everything so much easier

I just ate a PB sandwich! It was tough but I did it!

Heya! Something else that might work- start trying to eat an avacado or two a day. They are packed with nutrients you may not be getting, they have loads of healthy fats that will help your skin, hair and nails become stronger and they have enough calories that if you eat one in addition to what you have been eating, you will make your healthy calorie quota for the day. (usually about 240 calories for a whole medium to large sized avacado). And they are just dang tasty. Good luck!

Thanks for the tip! I'm now craving some guacamole :)