love-hate relationship with christmas
anyone else?
yes, i want to go home, i want to see my parents and my friends. i want to hang out at my favourite coffee shop in my home down. i want to feel entitled to sleep in (that won't happen) and drink eggnog and eat brie and pate and go out for gourmet dinners.
but i don't much feel like driving 1500kms on mountain roads in -20 weather. i don't want to put my dog (an spca refugee, remember) in a kennel for four days. and i HATE staying in my parents' apartment in the assisted living facility. i get no sleep and it just makes me miss our old life, before my mother's stroke, with a house and a fireplace and a view of the lake and a christmas tree.
this whole thing just makes me bi-polar and crazy. i can't wait for december 27.
If the roads are bad stay home and visit at a later date when it is safer.
I live in my grandparents old house. When there are holidays I get depressed and miss them and the family get-togethers. Since grandma past most of the family is upset with me, for their own reasons they think that they should have got more than they did in the will.
Me I can't wait until January 3. That is the end of the holidays for me.
Me too....
+ I want to see my family, have some time off work, eat good food, give fun presents, sit in a hot tub and stay up late playing games
- I don't like over spending, driving in bad weather, going to my parents house and dealing with allergies because of their dogs, and feeling guilty over the yummy cookies I just justified eating :)
Oh dear, I'm going to come off as the Grinch, but I'm firmly entrenched in the hate side of the equation.
My family is so weird at Christmas, that I can't even really enjoy seeing them. Well, OK, I'll get to see my son and that's always good, but otherwise, blech.
Um, I love, uh, not having to go to work that day.
...leaning more to the "hate" side with every passing minute.
Missing time with your parents might give you some hurt down the road - none of us is getting any younger.
Kenya will be okay, of course. My only concern would be the possibility of a dangerous road trip.
Original Post by pgeorgian:
...leaning more to the "hate" side with every passing minute.
i think everyone has slight things that they don't look forward to. (for example, it was -35 yesterday and this morning not counting wind chill... where i spend my christmas).
1500km drive? jeebus. where do your parents live? you're central bc, yes? i r vancouver.
I really hate the whole "If I get you a present then you have to get me one or else I'll get ticked -- even if you tell me you don't want a present beforehand" attitude. This year, in particular, I've had a grinchy stripe due to having relatives like this.
Ah me too, but in reverse! I hate the fact that I can't just give a present without being worried whether or not someone will feel obligated. My sister has finally figured out that I'm happier if she just says Thank You and enjoys the thing, rather than going into a bunch of guilt over not sending something.
Gift giving is a totally selfish pre-occupation with me.
But I still hate shopping. :)
i say i hate christmas, but i really love it. i do hate helping my mom decorate her tree, but i love LOVE doing my own tree. i say i hate family get-togethers, and i do, but there was one a few years ago that was the very best one ever. there was even a fireplace involved!
and i say i hate the whole gift thing, but i actually love finding the perfect gift for someone, wrapping it, and giving it to them, even though their gift selections for me make it seem like they and i have never even met. that's the part i hate. no one who gives me gifts puts as much thought into them as the gifts i buy them. buy hey, what are you gonna do?
Thanks for this thread guys! I thought I was the only one who was ambivalent about Christmas. I love the idea of "Christmas" but somehow it never really works out. In fact, I really start dreading the holidays as soon as Santa appears at the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. Some years, just the sight of Santa is enough for me to dissolve into tears! I think it's all of the stress that is associated with the holidays that drives me absolutely crazy. However, I'll suck it up, yet again, and go to a million different holiday celebrations because the people I love are in about a million different places.
It's a large part of the reason we stopped celebrating Christmas. Calling it something else and changing a few things makes it a new holiday for us, one that's not tied to past horrors.
Alex lost his father around this time of year when he was thirteen. That's his main reason for not liking Christmas.
I, in a sense, lost my family, too. My dad would always go to the psychiatric wards around this time, my sister was a complete and total ass and would ruin the fun for me and my mom trying to make everything all about her. Before long we all lost the holiday spirit and it became about getting everyone presents, not about decorating the tree together and baking cookies and getting sick from licking the frosting spoon too much.
We always had big family get togethers. Not as big as some people, but seeing my aunts and uncles, grandparents, cousins and family friends brought a warmth to the house that I looked forward to every year. Now my family is completely divided with the divorce. I haven't talked to my dad in months, my grandmother either. My mom's too busy with her new boyfriend and only calls me about once a week or less.
And, of course, you know what happened earlier this week that makes this time of year even more difficult for us.
I loved the holiday at one point, but too much has happened that makes it hard to celebrate it. So instead, we'll celebrate on Sunday. Different day, different holiday, different meanings for us. It's still hard to get the motivation given what happened this week, but in a morbid kind of way we've been given a new reason to celebrate it.
I love Christmas. I love the lights and the music. I love going to church with my family and socializing with friends. Heck I even like the Christmas shows on TV every year. What I don't like is the last week-end (this week-end) before it. We have never managed to master the art of getting everything done early so this week-end we have to do all our shopping, get it all wrapped, decorate the tree, buy the food for dinner, and fix something for a party tomorrow night. We have to brave the crowds, parking lots, lines and cold (all of which I hate) and try to get it all done in one day...two tops. Then I'll most likely be stuck with all the wrapping because hubby is an expert in getting out of those things. I told him yesterday that just once I'd like to be one of those well-organized people who gets everything done early and just sits back and enjoys the holidays. I know it's my own fault because I'm such a procrastinator, and I enjoyed all of the rushing around when I was younger, but I'm tired of it. I know it will all be fine, but I still worry endlessly about getting it all done in time. Anyway, that's my love/hate relationship with Christmas. Sometimes I really wish it came in July!
Original Post by dalmalama:
i say i hate christmas, but i really love it. i do hate helping my mom decorate her tree, but i love LOVE doing my own tree. i say i hate family get-togethers, and i do, but there was one a few years ago that was the very best one ever. there was even a fireplace involved!
and i say i hate the whole gift thing, but i actually love finding the perfect gift for someone, wrapping it, and giving it to them, even though their gift selections for me make it seem like they and i have never even met. that's the part i hate. no one who gives me gifts puts as much thought into them as the gifts i buy them. buy hey, what are you gonna do?
Dalmalama, welcome to my life... I love Christmas - the song singing and family traditions we have had since I was little... Watching Its a Wonderful Life while having tuna fish dinnner on Christmas eve (I know it is a strange tradition, but my mom would never let us eat what she was cooking for Christmas dinner on Christmas eve, so she would make tuna fish for lunch and we would have that for dinner- now we eat it every Christmas Eve). I love watching my kids open their gifts - knowing that I knew what thing they wanted most even when they haven't verbalized it.
What I don't like about Christams - my sister's ever present need to be the center of attention, my husband's complete inability to buy me something that I love... even though most times he really does put thought into it - he is just not a good gift giver, and my mom's incessant complaining about my sister's behavior (hey, you and your ex-hubby created that monster, not me)...
I do enjoy that I only have 2 more workdays til Jan 5th!!! Woo HOO!
I admit it - I am a scrooge! I hate Christmas. My father died on Christmas from cancer. My family is on the other side of the US from me and while they are weird - it would be nice to see them for Christmas. I have an overly Christmas loving husband. I hate the tree. I have vowed that next year we are going to Hawaii for Christmas. No presents just sun and out of the yuky weather.
Original Post by kathygator:
Missing time with your parents might give you some hurt down the road - none of us is getting any younger.
Kenya will be okay, of course. My only concern would be the possibility of a dangerous road trip.
oh - i'll go. don't worry. i booked the kennel; i'm going.
i'm actually better now. three hours of self pity was enough.
It could be better, could be worse.
I'm kind of mixed too, I usually plan a christmas with the dog and me (the only day of the year she gets human food but it's all good) and I enjoy it, but this year i feel rather ungrateful because I have moved closer to family my mum wants all of us to go to hers for the day, and I feel bad because the dog will be left on her own (silly i know).
I'm sure once I get there I will enjoy it but I have decided to split the day and spend a reasonable few hours there and then drive home and let the dog have hers.
^ wow that depressed me.
Couldn't you bring your dog with you?
^ sadly no, my sister doesn't want the dog there because of her kids and the fact that they might touch her whilst they are eating!!!
Long story......
But it's not because the dog is a problem she (sister) has a germ thing.....
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