Love my husband... But i don't love my body. And he wants it to stay like it is..

My husband told me the other day i was fine where i was at. Ok! I am not fine with my weight. I am 206 pounds and i was 177 when we got married last year. What i don't understand is....... why he don't want me to do this diet now. He loves my jolly rolls. I don't so what can a girl do. He said he thinks i am losing the weight for the wrong reason, and told me to make this a life style change. Now that i've done that..... He still is not pulling for the weight loss like he was doing at first.. What should i do????????

I don't want to be fat because he likes me thick. I will still be thick just not 56 pounds heavy thick....

I understand.  Many of our men tell us we look just as beautiful to them, whether we are 20 lbs heavier or 200 lbs heavier.  The reasons are all different.

Some partners will say this because they are afraid that you will look so good, you won't have any trouble leaving them for someone else.  So they are insecure.

Some partners will say this because, like you mentioned, they love the extra weight. 

I think the point you really need to make is that you want to be at a healthy weight so you can enjoy a long life with him.  Ask him for his support, even if he doesn't agree.  Your happiness and health comes first.

If he married you at 177, you were clearly *thick* enough for him then.  No reason you can't weigh at least that.

Wow...all I can say is that you are lucky to have a guy like that.

But I think, it is very important to feel good for yourself as well as pleasing your partner. So do what you want...

I was just talking to my wife about this, she has lost 75 pounds over the last three years or so.  I loved her body before she started and if she had asked I would have told not to bother losing the weight but step in her weight lose I have impressed by how great she does look.

But again her weight is her decision not mine I'm just glad she puts up with me either way.

my bf loves me the way i am but i dont like it (my body). i think we would have a healthier relationship if i was more comfortable with myself... and not being all jelous of other girls or not wanting him to touch me incase he feels over a stomach roll heh.

Yeah Girls, He told me last night when we went out to a late night morning breakfast that i am making our life different now. I would go out to eat with him late after we dance for hours in the clubs and stuff, but now he is like.. You burned off all the food you had at 7 this evening so why not have some waffle house at 2 in the morning..

I think he is worried. Because i went to kinko's and had a old pic of me life sized with me in a hot ass pair of jeans at 21 years old with the back side showning and he is like.. Why do you want to push yourself so hard to lose the weight.. FOR better or for worst. And Girls i was 155 in that pic. I am proud of that pic because i worked my ass off to get into them jeans, and to get that baby weight i had from having my baby girl in that same year.

I was thinking for a week you have been on my Team. A cute 23 year old come and ask me to dance last night and you want to take me out to a late night waffle house.... I don't understand girls really i don't.

My mom was like he loves you for small or big, but would just love the big one because the big one will not get taken out on the dance floor.. Maybe she is right. :(

mfchill, you are a great husband. I told my husband you can get better sex if i do this.. Then he said to me.. No.. Did the weight loss of 75 pounds help out the bed room... Because i feel it would for him in my case.. He is in great shape.. What i look like walking about with a man that does push ups in the morning and right before bed, and walk 3mile every day.. Yeah 1.5 miles in the morning and the same at night.. I mean really. He is in great shape.. I want to be in great shape with him again..... I don't think he like it... Reason is not because of the weight.. It is because of the hour glass shape i would have again that i still got partly going on now.. LOL Mfchill you are a great husband.. GREAT! Just by leting her do what was best for her..

Loosing weight should never be about anyone but yourself. This is about your health, your self-esteem, and your well being. I think (and I am a never married 21 year old so feel free to disregard) that if you are going to do this, you will need your husbands support. Weight loss is incredibly difficult because what we eat and how we eat is not just about food, its about emotions, habits, social interactions etc, and food is a huge part of our lives.

I'm sure that your husband is a wonderful man, and I am glad that he loves you the way that you are; but you should sit down with him and explain to him what your diet means to you and why you need to do it for yourself. Ask him to support and encourage you, otherwise, this will a long, hard road for you. Like I said, I'm not married, but I have a roommate. I thank god that when I come home in binge mood, whether I'm PMSing or I'm stressed or just for no good reason want to eat a pint of ben and jerry's half-baked icecream (my favorite!), that my roommate is there to tell to think twice. It would be of no help whatsoever if she simply told me that I looked great and I could eat TWO pints if I wanted.

In our weakest moments, we need that support. Especially at home.

mfchill is absolutely right, it's your decision, not his.

I can understand his concern, though, if dieting makes your grouchy and irritable.  Or if you obsess about it to the point of making yourself unhealthy to get to a certain weight. 

However, if you are following a healthy diet, and are staying good-natured, he has no right to ask you not to do this, or to complain that you are, and you should tell him to either get on the support wagon or zip his lips about it.

Don't give him control over this matter -- it's not his right to have it.

Great husband? Experienced husband maybe :) In twenty some years a guy catches on. Your guy will catch on also.

As for 'better', it's better everything! She looks great and feels great and it has made her a more out going person. She glows and I get to watch.

The bottom line is that men, in general, do not like change.  He's afraid you'll rock the boat.  I'm pretty sure my husband was not thrilled when I told him I was going to do this.  I'm sure he wondered how this was going to effect him.  Was I going to insist he go on the diet with me?  Was I going to be in a bad mood all the time?  Of course he didn't admit any of this and he has been very supportive and helpful overall.  He understands that this is about my health, not just my vanity.

Well Guys, I have to say my husband did something different. When i was losing the weight a year ago i lost a lot. I did over 56 pounds and yeah. I went past that and gain 63 of them pounds back. He made me mad when i gain the weight back... But i was dealing with my own family problems that was going on atfer we got married.

My sister said she thinks he was ok with this for the first week for one reason and one reason only.. Because he didn't want to hurt my feeling.. I mean really. I ripped some jeans and my but was hanging out of some ripped jeans i don't want to do that again.. I hate that feeling. I felt fat and nasty and he said to me a few days ago.. I am going to make a coffin so you can dig and hole and put them fat jeans away..

But i don't know why he's saying one thing and then saying another a few days later..

He probably got over it. =)

Men can have very quick turn arounds once they realize what is actually important to them.

Yeah! He wants me to still cook him dinner. That is what he realize.. Wife stay mad.. I want eat real food..

At least you have someone who loves and cares about you.

I don't have a girlfriend, and I live with 3 guys who don't even care about themselves. My family (except my dad), who lives 250 miles away from me, now thinks I'm crazy for losing all the weight I lost.

The only person pulling for me is myself, and now that I hit and exceeded my goal, I'm left wondering if I made the right choices. I mean I know I'm healthier, but it's kind of hard when all the feedback I get is negative.

My husband told me a few months ago he loved me at all my sizes LOL

For me - I liked myself best 20 lbs lighter.  I felt better about myself and felt better about being seen in public.  I wanted to do things with my husband and the kids where before I just wanted to stay home because I was ashamed of the way I looked.  Because I felt better about me I felt better about life and I know for hubby and me the sex was better and more of it - almost like honeymooners again after 20 years. 

I agree with the others lose the weight for yourself and go ahead and go to the waffle house with your hubby at 2 am just maybe have some fruit or sormething light.

That's great that your husband loves you for how you are, but if he's not supportive, tell him that you want to be with him forever, so that's why you need to take off some weight, to be healthy and avoid health problems like heart attacks.

It's really not about the losing the weight. He said it's all about how crazy i get when i do diet. He said i don't look at it as a life style change like he is asking me too.

My husband works out doing only a few moves a day, and he looks great.. He don't need to work hard as i do to drop 30pounds.. He stops drinking things like pop's and beer and lose great, and go into the bed room and do 100 push ups, 100 sit ups, and that is it.. He told me---- men only work the 2 areas they love the most..

His is ---his arms---- to keep them looking like the guns they are..
And his gut-----Keeping it into 8 pack shape. He said he be damn is he wears a 6pk

Would you want your wife to go on a diet if you as the man look that good yourself.

Maybe before out right dismissing him, you should listen to him. Maybe he sees something about you that you don't want to see or refuse to see, or do see but don't want to admit.

Typically, it's true, men DON'T need to work as hard as women do. Doesn't that piss you off? But.. it's true. It's the advantage of having the extra muscle. We can eat more (need to eat more to do this healthfully)

And, I think you need to listen to everyone above. This is not about your husband. This is about you.

What I hear is someone who is using her husband as an excuse why she won't lose weight. If you want to lose weight, LOSE it! It's your body and your decision and you're the only one who can do it.

And, to be honest, yes, as someone who's lost weight, I would want my fiancee to be a healthy weight too so that we can live long lives together instead of one of us being taken down by Heart Disease, or anything else that tends to happen to obese, unfit people.

Hkellick,

My husband has a problem with the way i diet.. He has no problem with me going on the diet, but he don't see why i want to lose the weight when he has no problem with my weight.

I am the only one that hates the weight that i am at.. Not him..
Trust me he loves the BOOTIE FOR DAYS. So No. I have lost a lot of weight, and this is not my first time on the calorie count.. No not at all.. I did great and lost a lot of weight. I didn't have to lose the weight i did lose, but i had a break down a few weeks after we got married..

I see where my Husband is going with the weight loss thing. He wants me to do a life change no diet like he does.. He change the things he do everyday around to lose some weight.. I have to stop doing a lot of what i do to lose the weight.

I don't think you know anything about my husband.. My husband is a very jealous man. I saw it first hand for myself when i lost a lot of the weight..... He was taken me to ihop......... You do not know my husband like i do...