Love Life Examples!

This is a motivation question but the answer would probably be best from the maintenance forum.

I would assume that not everyone here started in great shape, right? So for a little motivation I was hoping that you could give us, those that have not reached our goal yet, some inspirational thoughts of how the dating scene changed as you lost weight and got healthier.

Number of guys dated in the year before losing weight: 1

Number of guys dated during and after losing weight: 1

But then, I've been married for 13 years....heh, sorry....

But seriously, my hubby started looking at me a lot more often, and when we went out, while I haven't noticed, he reports me being checked out by quite a few guys, and a couple of gals.

And it makes you a lot more confident talking to people when you're not trying to start something up, so that can easily translate to a club situation to get to know someone.

It feels great to be comfortable with your body, and to know you've accomplished something, and it shows.  Good luck - you'll get there!

Great, anyone else?

I have gotten amazing attention in the last 4 years since my weight loss..

Since I wasn't always the hottest little thing, my personality and sense of humor was a big part of me-- and I still haven't lost it.. Now with having a better body, more confidence, and a sense of humor, I am definitely getting a lot more attention that previously!

Sorry, an old married person here, too. My spouse loves me as much as he always has, but does say that he feels better with 125 lbs less sitting on him, blush lol. Sex is wonderful, I am more flexible and active. Other than this, the men at work are recommending I don't lose any more even though I am at a 27.5 BMI. I find this interesting.

Absolutely no change for me (went from nothing to nothing), which in a way just validates that looks aren't everything.

However, I do feel more comfortable talking to people now. 

Very amusing David: nothing to nothing. Simple and to the point. Same for me, went from nothing to nothing :)

Nothing to nothing...

I don't really put myself out there or talk to many guys..haha losing weight hasn't really improved my self-esteem yet, because I honestly don't feel like I look much different, but I'm working on it!

Touchy topic for me ....

I will simply say ditto with what dm84, figurethefat and deplepfan.  We all have something in common ..... Nothing  to ------> Nothing

Wow! Not what I expected. If your not getting more attention have you at least felt more confident? Do you find that you have the ability to be more social?

ive gotten less attention because i went from D cups to A cups, and THANK GOD. now i know when guys talk to me its actually because of my personality. i actually feel less confident, because since losing weight ive developed horrible acne. im also much more conscious of what i am eating and how i look, and it makes me feel uncomfortable and shy. when people i havent seen in a while say things like "oh my god you're so skinny! what did you do!" it isnt flattering, its uncomfortable. when i was heavier, i was a big partier and drank alot. now i avoid alcohol. i also somewhere along the lines developed social anxiety, i dont know how or why because i used to love to be partying constantly and love being around tons of people...now meeting new people makes me nervous and i get nervous and shy.

but im working on the confidence thing. also i blow off most of the guys who DO give me attention now because they usually comment on how "in shape" i look and how good my body looks and im just like "screw you, you shallow jerk,  i used to be fat and you wouldnt have given me the time of day. my personality never changed" i dont actually say that out loud though hahaha 

(I'm 5'8)
Weighing 170 - 0 (athough i was 13, so thats not exactly a bad thing...)

Weighing 160-145 - 1 (absolute jerk, mind)

145 and below - none, but I have a lot more offers! however, I swear 2/3 of them are complete loons...I told one of my new friends this and he was like 'I'm sure its not that bad' so I dragged him into town with me and he said 'ok maybe it is that bad' lol...

I think losing weight has given me a massive confidence boost too. For instance, there is a guy at my local grocers who is drop dead gorgeous.  When I weighed 150, he would talk a little to me, but I would mumble back, and because he didn't speak much english, he couldn't understand me, and although I can speak some spanish, I was too petrified of making a mistake to even try.  However, as my weigh has gone down and his english has improved, we have started having longer and longer conversations, in english and in spanish, until last week he asked me out! woot

Original Post by tommy21pmp:

Wow! Not what I expected. If your not getting more attention have you at least felt more confident? Do you find that you have the ability to be more social?

I feel more social, however, self-confidence was always an issue for me, and losing 75 lbs doesn't change the underlying person.

It was extremely awkward when I finally got down to my current weight. People in my classes were shocked because they had seen me drop most of the weight in the course of the school year. When I went back home everyone was shocked because I had moved out a year earlier at my highest weight. I wasn't really sure how to react, because in my mind, I was the same person, and when I looked in the mirror, I still felt like I was at my old weight.

Some female checkout clerks smile at me and talk to me a little now, while they used to remain silent and ring up my order as quickly as possible. But I don't think losing weight is necessarily going to improve your dating life. 

dm84 you made an excellent point.  Losing weight does not change the person you are; that is why losing weight doesn't neccessarrily mean it will improve your dating life.  Or love life, or life period. 

People have taken attention to me (both male and female) before I start conversation, but I have always been a talker and chatter box.  Socially, people are more at ease approaching me before I say anything.  When overweight, I always made the first social interaction.  I don't have to be the first one to speak to interact; people "beat" me to it.  It's an odd social behavior.  So, I guess I would say socially, life has improved.

Don't mean to sound like I "hate" on this topic, but life is life at any weight.  I learned that.  It was a kick in the butt.

In the meantime, I am starting a "Love Stinks" club - dm84, figurethefat, deplepfan I am taking new members : ) Heck, anyone can join ; )

*edit:  You may want to look at this thread that was in the motivation forum. Runs on the same basic idea as this thread.  Stay motiviated !  Your body, your health will improve !

 http://www.calorie-count.com/forums/post/page /2/62869.html

I am married now, but throughout the years i noticed when I was in my best shape, I would get lots of "looks".  Seriously this one time a guy was checking me out (at the time I was in my last year of college and walking in the parking lot from my car to my job) he accidently drove up on the side walk and hit a garbage can.  Very funny!  (I would never tell that to anyone because I am so modest and shy, but I feel comfortable sharing it on this forum.)  Anyway my co-worker who was leaving saw it happen and went to talk to the guy to make sure he was ok.  He told her how he got distracted and then asked her for my number.

My husband likes to point out when people are gawking at me, but I never notice unless he points it out (since I am happily married) (then again they could be looking and thinking, wow her butt is too big or she needs to cover up her gray hair, etc.) 

So to make a long story short, you may walk with more confidence, and you feeling you are in better shape may make you more aware of who is interested, but if you want to date more you have to take a chance and put yourself out there.

Have fun.

Take care.

I've started my journey last year February, at 294 lbs. I took it with small steps, I really wasn't aiming for an ideal weight, just at weightloss in general and feeling better. In august I reached 242 lbs and went back up to 252 when my mom was in town, I managed to lower it to 243 again, which I've maintained. Sure, it fluctuates between 243 and 249, but I feel good.

I went from size 26W jeans to a size 18W. I bought a size 16/18 shirt last week, in the regular section. WOO! Never thought I'd see the regular section in my lifetime.

I'd like to lose a little more weight, but not much. Perhaps down to 229 as I aimed for last year (it would change my BMI from severely overweight to moderately overweight). A size 14 would be nice, I could live with a 16 though. Most of all, I'd like to tone up, but since I can't drive I don't have access to a gym. In the end, I have bigger dreams now, which is the ultimate gift I gave myself I guess. Being fat is not the first thought on my mind anymore.

So my love life story: I can enjoy stuff like clothing shopping, something I've always hated. Still hate shoe shopping, curse having 12W as a woman x_X And it would be nice if my husband could stop pinching my butt in public lol

I think I get the same amount (next to none) of attention now that I'm a healthy weight and more confident, and I still don't know where/how to meet men.

Last night at the gym, some guy walked around the bench where I was doing weights about 3 times. There is not much space, he was like two feet away and walking in circles around me and staring. It was very creepy, but I enjoyed it just a little because I never used to get checked out.

interesting topic....

Throughout my life I was always the "chubby kid" and I was rather timid in middle school and hs when it came to partying, dating etc....I mean I had plenty of friends and everyone of all "clicks" talked and were friendly to me and pretty much respected me as a classmate..but I always thought I was timid because of my weight...I always pictured a skinny me going to parties, dating lots of girls, getting into trouble, etc...well you know what even though I am now skinny and weigh 115 pounds lighter I am pretty much the same exact person in regard to how I spend my free time and interact with people....I mean don't get me wrong, having lost all that weight and being skinny has raised my self confidence TREMENDOUSLY and not having to always think "is that person making fun of me/judging me because I am heavy" all the time is great.....but I am still the same boy who puts academics first and just doesn't like to party, etc...that is just who I am...whether I was conditioned this way due to my weight or just how I was raised is up for debate...but it is who I am...when I lost weight I was slightly disappointed that my social life really didn't change at all...but I have come to accept myself more and know what defines me


An interesting thing about when I lost my weight was between the end of my senior year in hs through my first semester of college....whereas my friends at hs always knew me as "fat" the people at college have only seen me as slightly over weight" and now "thin"....it is a really weird thing for me, and makes me feel sometimes like I have this secret past...lol...but when I first saw all my hs friends last winter break for the first time since before we all went to college they definately all were weary of the new me and thought I would be different...I would even go as far to say that  my weightloss has led many of them to invite me to do things with them they NEVER would have when I was fat, while others have kind of grown apart from me because they had difficulty accepting the new me....the best example of this is when I went back to my old hs and saw a guidance counselor and she said to me "you may look like a different person, but your still the same old student I knew"....

oh and going to the love life thing...I am 19 and still haven't had a gf, and am just so timid in that department...hopefully soon I will find someone lol

As musictchr said, I don't notice when people are looking. I was out at the grocery store with a friend on Saturday night, and he mentioned that guys were checking me out, and I looked around me and was like, "Who?" I hadn't noticed at all. When you don't expect attention, you may not perceive that people are noticing you.

It's true that I am a lot more confident now. And... I should mention that the friend I was out with on Saturday is someone I've had a crush on since high school (ten years ago!). :)