I have learned to love mine! Flaws and all!

I have learned to love my body! I took Psychology, and I'm taking Anatomy & Physiology now. They have both helped tremendously. You never truly understand how incredible your body really is, heck it keeps you alive! The anatomy and physiology of it are completely insane as well. And even though that might not be the part of the body you're talking about it's really helped me to love my outerbody. Confidence in yourself, leads to faith, and plain out makes you a happier person. When you feel good about yourself and things around you, it makes it a lot easier to keep that will power and truly change your life. Because that's what it takes to lose weight, and be healthy. It's all about lifestyle changes, which are very hard to make if you don't love yourself enough to change them.

I think once you truly love your body, you will understand that when you are eating 'bad' foods because they taste nice, you are disrespecting your body and being cruel to it, and when you eat healthily and exercise, you are being good to your body and loving it. Once you make that connection, then being healthy will come naturally, because loving your body will encourage healthy habits, and having healthy habits will help you love your body. It's a win-win situation. You will no longer think 'I feel miserable because I can't eat the foods I like', instead you will think 'I feel great that I am treating my body with love and respect', and when you have a moment of weakness and eat something bad or miss an exercise session, you won't think damaging thoughts such as 'I'm worthless because I have no willpower', you'll think along these lines instead: 'I was disrespectful or hateful towards my body'.

Wow.  This is probably one of my BIGGEST struggles right now.  Not only do I not love my body...I don't even like it...and I just wonder if I am ever going to be able to change that.  Just yesterday my trainer made a comment about how much weight I had lost and how much my body has changed over the last 4 months...but as hard as I look, I just can't see it.  All I see is this huge, out of shape, mess...even after loosing 38 pounds in 4 months.

I eat healthy and exercise like crazy...but changing the way I see and think about myself has been so so so hard.  

sorry for the downer of a post...but I just needed to get that out. 

I struggle with this so much. I hate my love handles and thighs, and nothing pisses me off more than seeing a crappy weight of 135 on the scale. (I'm 5'4) I used to be 170 and I should celebrate 135 but it pisses me off because it hasn't moved. I want to be 120-125. I have been in this limbo of wanting to lose my last 10 lbs. for about a year now. I want to reach my goal, but nothing seems to work. I work out 5 times a week, doing a mix of cardio and weight training. I typically eat within my calorie range of 1,500 calories, sometimes less because then my weight will drop down to 133-132 range. I beat myself up everyday and tell myself I am such a loser. I will give this a shot, because honestly the negative talk isn't working it's just making me depressed. When I look in the mirror all I see is a fat girl, and I feel intense guilt when I eat unhealthy. Often the scale determines my mood.

Original Post by: rtimberlake

Wow.  This is probably one of my BIGGEST struggles right now.  Not only do I not love my body...I don't even like it...and I just wonder if I am ever going to be able to change that.  Just yesterday my trainer made a comment about how much weight I had lost and how much my body has changed over the last 4 months...but as hard as I look, I just can't see it.  All I see is this huge, out of shape, mess...even after loosing 38 pounds in 4 months.

I eat healthy and exercise like crazy...but changing the way I see and think about myself has been so so so hard.  

sorry for the downer of a post...but I just needed to get that out. 

Was just talking about this with my husband this morning.  I've lost about 34lbs in the last 4 months and I don't seem to see it either.  I was telling him that even though the scale is going down, I can't quite seem to see an image in the mirror that reflects what I know I've accomplished.  Will I still feel this way after losing 50lbs? What will it take?

Well I had my husband to take a photo of me this morning, and with that I can DEFINITELY see a difference, but looking in the mirror I don't. I guess it's because when we look in the mirror, we tend to focus on all that's not right and what needs to be a little smaller instead of the BIG picture.

Turning around those self-defeating thoughts will take time. The article gives some good pointers on how to start.  Venting is good...

I once found a quote from a woman in a random fitness magazine years ago that helped me to love my body. I keep it in my bathroom to this day:

"Slowly, I'm learning to stop hating my body for all the things it doesn't look like, and start loving and celebrating it for what it can do!"

Original Post by: shawnyar

Original Post by: rtimberlake

Wow.  This is probably one of my BIGGEST struggles right now.  Not only do I not love my body...I don't even like it...and I just wonder if I am ever going to be able to change that.  Just yesterday my trainer made a comment about how much weight I had lost and how much my body has changed over the last 4 months...but as hard as I look, I just can't see it.  All I see is this huge, out of shape, mess...even after loosing 38 pounds in 4 months.

I eat healthy and exercise like crazy...but changing the way I see and think about myself has been so so so hard.  

sorry for the downer of a post...but I just needed to get that out. 

Was just talking about this with my husband this morning.  I've lost about 34lbs in the last 4 months and I don't seem to see it either.  I was telling him that even though the scale is going down, I can't quite seem to see an image in the mirror that reflects what I know I've accomplished.  Will I still feel this way after losing 50lbs? What will it take?

Well I had my husband to take a photo of me this morning, and with that I can DEFINITELY see a difference, but looking in the mirror I don't. I guess it's because when we look in the mirror, we tend to focus on all that's not right and what needs to be a little smaller instead of the BIG picture.

Turning around those self-defeating thoughts will take time. The article gives some good pointers on how to start.  Venting is good...

 

Your mind is amazing. It can make your body do almost anything because your body doesn't know the difference between truth and lies. If you tell yourself your beautiful, your body will believe you. Same goes for fake laughing. Your body will believe your really happy and start pumping positive chemicals into it.

I loved reading this article. What a wonderful thing to think about. How often do we say, "I hate my thighs, belly, flab, etc."? When we should be saying, "I love my ankles, wrists, collar bone, etc."? Really just taking the focus off of what we "hate" and turn to the things we are actually proud of. So what if my belly is a little bit flabby and loose? I can do Pilates and my core muscles are odang strong. Who cares(except me) that my skin hangs a little different than it used to? I can buy new clothes that highlight the best parts and negate the awkward parts. I have a towel hanging in my bathroom that says, "You look pretty today." I go in every morning and look at it and think, "Yes, I do look pretty today." You do have to train yourself to see the positive and love you for who you are and where you are in your journey. Try to step outside of your lifetime(for some of us) of shame and embarrassment and hatred of who we are or have become. Love you like no one else will. Give yourself a mental hug and say, "I am so proud of all that you do for me, body, and together we will continue to do amazing things." It may be difficult to do, but you will feel better when you do it. I know it's helped me to not be so tough on myself.

Hate is a strong word. I agree that it may emotionally hold you back if you hate your body. However I think one can dislike their body and not be held back in the same fashion. In such a case, all the affirmations and psychobabble in the world won't necessarily help. In fact, in my world love means acceptance and acceptance often means complacency. Complacency won't help, that's certain!

The way I see it, you shouldn't hate yourself but you don't have to love yourself either. Resolve to do things as well as you reasonably can, for yourself. Get some medical checks, learn the basics of diet and exercise, then be like Buddha - stop worrying and get on with it. Let's not complexify simple things!

Original Post by: aackthpt

Hate is a strong word. I agree that it may emotionally hold you back if you hate your body. However I think one can dislike their body and not be held back in the same fashion. In such a case, all the affirmations and psychobabble in the world won't necessarily help. In fact, in my world love means acceptance and acceptance often means complacency. Complacency won't help, that's certain!

The way I see it, you shouldn't hate yourself but you don't have to love yourself either. Resolve to do things as well as you reasonably can, for yourself. Get some medical checks, learn the basics of diet and exercise, then be like Buddha - stop worrying and get on with it. Let's not complexify simple things!

I don't agree; I think that your post demonstrates that this is an individual problem.  Not everyone is going to have this problem, but for those of us who do it is real and serious.

I am 52 and I have been working for years on not just accepting myself as I am today without limiting my capacity to change.  There are days I look in the mirror and see an attractive, vibrant person and later or the next day I see someone I don't hesitate to call ugly; and the same is true of my body.  Some days I admire the strength of my shoulders or the curve of my calf, and others I hate the cellulite of my butt or the wobble of my belly.  I still hear sometimes the voice of my mother pointing out flaws in my body; not our of meanness but because she had no idea how deeply those scars would sink.  I know intellectually that it's the same face and the same body that I see know matter how I interpret it, but getting the underlying mind to realize it is probably going to take the rest of my life.

Is complexify a word?

This is not limited to hatred of your physical body.  Sometimes the problem is that we don't like who we think we are and spend our energy hiding it.  I have spent most of my life thinking that I am broken inside due to many life incidents.  This is despite the face that my life is currently the happiest it has ever been.  I am now trying to remind myself that there have been times when I have been broken, but I'm not now, not anymore.  I don't need to pretend that I'm fine, because I am fine, now, today. 

I find it difficult to state that I love myself, but my first step yesterday was repeating to myself "I am not broken.  I don't need to be fixed" throughout the day.  It's rather surprising to find myself realising that this really is true.

This was inspired by reading Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth.

If affirmations help, great. It's very hard for me to believe. There are so many things to dislike about my body - weight is almost the least of it - various body parts that don't function right, lots of little problems like thinning hair, nearsightedness, that add up to a lot of frustration. I truly don't see how people with serious disabilities survive emotionally.

There was a time when I saw nothing positive when I looked at myself.  It wasn't until I started doing yoga and heard the instructor to say "accept where you are right now in the present moment" that I began to see that maybe there's more to me than I've been thinking.  Yesterday I could reach the floor with my legs straight; today I can't-tomorrow will be different again, and each one is OKAY as long as I realize that it's just a moment.  Same thing with my body image-yesterday was okay, today I'm a mess and tomorrow will be different and it's all OK. 

Maybe that's not concrete enough for some, but it's helped me reach a level of sanity in my self image and self awareness.  Just don't accept that it's always going to be bad and stop looking for another perspective on yourself.

Body image - so many feelings of self worth stem from it, and negative thoughts/images bombard it each day from social media sources. I disapprove of my own body - I have both body dysmorphic image disorder and anorexia. My mind plays tricks on me - I actually saw myself as thin when I was heavy, and now see myself as heavy when I'm thin. The thinner I get, the worse it gets. The self esteem issue, though, is linked to feelings of control. Usually, if there is something out of control in my life, I turn to obsession about food (whether overeating when younger, or undereating more recently) as a mechanism that I feel I have control over - a distraction. Interestingly, when the part that is out of control comes under control, and resolves itself, the negative thoughts recede, and the eating paranoia/control lessens (I'll always have issues). 

The point is - any kind of stressful situation tends to trigger that response of needing control of food and bad feelings because I can not control the other aspects/stresses in my life. Identifying the real issue as being unable to control the other parts of my life, or creating a realistic plan to deal with those parts of my life that are causing me stress, helps me to feel better about myself.

Don't get me wrong - meditation and daily affirmations are great for stress relief, so is yoga, a walk outside too - but they can also be great diversions if you're procrastinating on dealing with the real issues at hand that are causing you the stress that makes you feel inadequate in some respect. Deal with that first! :)

I just started the weight loss.My doctor wants me to lose 38lbs by june 29th and i also hope to do it

One thing that inspires me to love myself is Maya Angelou's poem, "Phenomenal Woman."  It tells you that it is more than just your physical looks that make you attractive- like, attitude is everything! Also, the bible inspirationally says that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made." And when I think about it- the way I am put together from atoms/cells on outward and I think of how it all works together, it is so true- we are amazing!

I don’t love all aspects of my body as I should, but I AM starting to make peace with it… And only one month in I am STAGGERED at how well it can work and how strong it is becoming with just a little TLC. I know remarkable things are in store for me and my body this year. I really do *feel* that. I am fortunate to have a properly functioning body and I vow to treat it better.

I am trying to remember each day: I am blessed and despite how horribly abused it has been all these years my body is AMAZING.

I tend to think of my body as a victim of my abuse. My body has been keeping me alive for years and what have I done in return? I'm polluted it. I owe it to my body to show it respect by treating it better.

I would love to love my body.  A year ago I hated all my "fat bits" but new I could do something about it...and I did.  I thought it would be so much easier to love my body more if I weighed less.  Today after losing 55 pounds I'm left with more visable stretch marks and flabby skin...not something I can do much about.  Accepting what I can't change is a lot harder than it was accepting the way I was before I lost the weight.   Just saying...

Great article! Funny because I read and article in More magazine (YES I am 45 and read, but good mag!) and it talked about embracing aging and learning to love yourself in the here and now. I know I am guilty of not appreciating what is the here and now. I am either looking bad or looking forward...so I need to start loving myself the way I am...

" I praise you because I AM FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." - Psalm 139:14

I love my body very much. <3

What a beautiful novel thought!  Turn our attention to loving our body instead of hating it.  Simple in words, but hard to make ourselves do it.  

Taking the time to honour who we are and pat ourselves on the back. I have been guilty of lying to myself and saying I do, but then misuse, and abuse my body by not exercising, overeating, eating out of control, and not thinking of the consequenses.  

Let's all promise to tell ourselves in the mirror each morning, 

"today I will love me"

Thank you for all your comments. I hope my article inspires you to direct loving thoughts to your body.

It's so important to speak to our bodies lovingly. Our bodies really do "feel" the intention behind our words.  Love filled thoughts allow your body to reveal its natural beauty.

I offer a favorite quote:

"Beauty is not in the face;
Beauty is a light in the heart."
                Kahlil Gibran

May your light shine brightly,
Diane

Original Post by: reginabc

There was a time when I saw nothing positive when I looked at myself.  It wasn't until I started doing yoga and heard the instructor to say "accept where you are right now in the present moment" that I began to see that maybe there's more to me than I've been thinking.  Yesterday I could reach the floor with my legs straight; today I can't-tomorrow will be different again, and each one is OKAY as long as I realize that it's just a moment.  Same thing with my body image-yesterday was okay, today I'm a mess and tomorrow will be different and it's all OK. 

Maybe that's not concrete enough for some, but it's helped me reach a level of sanity in my self image and self awareness.  Just don't accept that it's always going to be bad and stop looking for another perspective on yourself.

This article came at the right time for me, I'm quoting reginabc because what started me being critical today were some photographs posted on Facebook of me in my Yoga Class last night!

My first thoughts? Look at how fat I am, look at how wrinkled my face is, look at how pale and old I look......Then reading this I've taken a deep breath and told myself I'm doing great...I'm better than I used to be (I'm now a UK dress size 14, I used to be a UK 24!) ...and yes I need to work on my posture in Yoga Class 

In the past I would get all negative and critical and go eat chocolate...so I am making progress. 

That is kind of funny to me, because in my yoga class we have mirrors on the walls but they are warped a bit and sometimes it's like looking at yourself in a fun house mirror.  Sometimes I'll check to see if I look like I think I look, and catch an unflattering image of myself but I've learned to laugh it off.  And sometimes I am impressed by how much closer my nose is to my knee!

I don't hate or love my body... I find bits of it annoying but I do enjoy posing in front of the mirror and showing off my best bits (if only to myself!) and picking out the not good bits I need to work on.

Should I just love it all up and not even get peed off sometimes?! 

I guess it's a good step from hating to loving...!

But what do you do when you love what your body can do but hate how it looks?   Theoretically, the former should imply the latter, but not for me. 

I love that I can run 5.5-6mph for 90 minutes without getting sore.  I love that in spin classes I can spin as fast and with as much resistance as the men, leaving the skinny salad-eating girls in my dust.  I love that my arms and shoulders are so strong I can lift anything at work that the men can, because it is part of the job that earns me a nice fat paycheck at an age when most women are looking at far less.

However, I hate the way I look.  I don't take photos of myself any more.  Even good professional photographers can't shoot me in a flattering light, which tells me it isn't just that I'm not photogenic--it's that I really do look that bad.  I'm losing fat, but STILL not going down any more clothes sizes because my shoulders and hip bones are so wide.  When you look at me with clothes on, you can't tell the difference between fat and big-boned, so I almost wonder what's the point in losing the weight when my appearance won't change?  I'm not losing it because a doctor told me to, so I can't even say I'm doing it for my health. 

I hate being 29 and looking 40, and feel like I never got to have a period where I looked "youthful" because I went straight from being "kept young" by my parents and never getting to dress in flattering clothes to being on my own with a series of dire financial circumstances that gave me white hairs at age 25.   I've tried using the yoga mindset and thinking that I've gained experience and wisdom in exchange for losing my youthful appearance, but the truth is I didn't gain any knowledge from the bad years that I didn't have before they started.  I realize life is not fair, but that doesn't stop me from looking at people my age who've had easier lives than mine, who are skinny and young-looking, and feel like I've lost something precious.

To yamisui-

Have you ever read the story about the man who died and went to hell and was shown a room full of weeping and moaning people surrounding a pot of delicious smelling soup but all they had were spoons which were too long to make it back to their mouths?  And then the man was taken to heaven and shown the same room, but in this room the people were all happy and joyous, and he asked his guide what was the difference, and the guide pointed out that everyone used their spoon to feed each other.

I'm not trying to sound sappy, but  maybe it would help if instead of focusing on what makes you mad, focus on the happy--when you look in the mirror, say positive things to yourself and don't let yourself mention negatives. 

I know there are going to be people reading this who roll their eyes at this post, but there really is power in positive thinking.  Good luck!

Dear yamisui,

I sense the pain behind your words and I'd like to offer some thoughts.

Love doesn't discriminate.

Would you withhold your love to a dear friend, or to a young child, because they seemed to have a physical flaw?

I invite you to open your heart and mind to relate to yourself in a more compassionate way. While you may not presently like how you look, that doesn't mean you have to emotionally beat yourself up and make things worse for yourself.

I hope you don't mind my saying this, and I don't mean to minimize how you feel about your body, but I suspect there are deeper feelings inside of you that have nothing to do with your body. (I say this because of some themes you wrote above.) If I'm accurate in my assumptions, please do the best you can to make peace with, and release, the pain inside of you. I suspect once you do that you will be able to accept and embrace yourself with greater love and compassion.

Sending you loving thoughts~

Warmly,
Diane