Low self-esteem affects eating.

I have horrible stretch marks and horrible eating habits.   I cant stop obsessing about how disfigured my thighs are,  and how embarassing it will be to wear a swim suit.   I just cant believe that I have let myself go..

I was doing really good for a while,  but the past couple days I have just got upset, and ate more. 

I really really dont like what im becoming.  I feel hopeless.

same position! i've gained 15 pounds since last year im depressed and can't stop eating. i feel like a beast

Hang in there. I would like to meet the only girl on the planet who truly loves her body as is, and thinks it's perfect. We all have hangups. That said, we are our biggest critics. You are no beast. Other people truly don't notice or care about our "big" flaws.

Whenever you feel down, go for a walk or get some exercise. It'll keep you from self-sabotage through food, and the exercise will perk your mood and spirits. There is always hope, but it can be hard to see. You have to be your own motivator. It's never too late to change :)

BIG e-hug. Support always here.

we all feel like this at one point or another!

don't worry about a bathing suit now! just focus on day to day- who cares about a bathing suit! you wanna go swimming? wear a cut off jeans, or a cute swim skort (tennis skort)

work those legs! get them firm and and watch your self esteem go sky high! dont focus on the now, and the bad, focus on the new you, weight loss, and new clothes, and happy times to come!!

I love swimming and sun, beach, and such, but guess what? I gained lots of weight, got a ton of stretch marks and well needless to say NO more bikinni for me, but there are other cute swim items to be had!! ((:

and now that I am exercising and loosing weight I feel better and those marks don't mean nothing! I am gonna still have fun! and so can you!!((:

remember---when you fall down, you don't just stay down, you get up and try it again!!!

now, chin up girlie!

-ginai

Ok, this might not come off as supportive, but please know that my intentions are good....

Sometimes, when either I or a friend, or someone on this site seems to be really down on the weight loss front, I like to try and put things into perspective. Not to downplay your feelings about the pending swimsuit season (after all, we all have our own respective insecurities, worries, etc.... I know I'm no exception) but....

I find it helpful to think of the things I am grateful for, and though it might seem harsh, how lucky I am when compared to so many others. For example, I've done a lot of work internationally in "developing" countries. Sometimes, when I'm freaked out about a night I've over-eaten, or am complaining that I shouldn't "be bad" and overeat, or should work out more, I try and remember the people whom I've met who struggle everyday for food, and who live lives where "working out" is their livelihood. I also have done some work in hospital settings with both adults and children with chronic illness, and I have to say, thinking of these families makes my own "bikini bane" a lot more trivial.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've personally found it helpful in my own low/panic/less enthusiastic moments to try and focus on what I have. It's both humbling and helpful, again speaking for myself.

I have stretch marks (I have since I was about 14), and there are tons of things about my body that I could obsess about. But the truth of the matter is this; at the end of the beach day, you're either going to go have a great time and sport a swimsuit proudly with the stretch marks, or you're not.

In either case, the only person who leaves the beach that day thinking about your body will be you, and I think you should consider making those thoughts positive by being proud and grateful for what you have.

Again, I'm sorry if this isn't translating the way I would like it to. But I hope it's been somewhat helpful. Thanks for sharing & happy beach days!

Yeah this is how I used to feel.  Everytime I would look at my frumpy thighs or my fat arms I would think ohh it doesn't matter, let's just go out to eat.  Every time I tried to start a diet I would think it's not going to help I'm just going to be this way forever and there I would go.  Before I knew it I was 229 lbs and I was eating more and more per day.  I used to be bad about eating after I was full and I knew I was over eating. Then I would start my excuses, at least I'm not addicted to drugs, alchol or smoking. Just food.  Food can be just as deadly.

I know this is going to sound corny but in the last week I really feel like I"ve made some breakthroughs, I've lost about 15lbs in one week (first week mostly water weight) and no I'm not starving myself, i've just been eating reasonably (no more than 1200 calories) and exercising.  I know realize my body is mine and I can sculpt it either way I want, whether it be bad or good.

vorn082 and ginaiboo, this isn't just some little thing where it's "oh i'm having a fat day" this can be serious.  i was in the same position when i gained 10 lbs and feel into a deep **** depression and binge ate my way to an additional 10, 20, 30 pounds.  you don't want to become like me.  Now i have to pay for it in a big way and it has prevent me from doing things i love.

to the op, you need to talk to someone and accept your body for now and try to treat it well because what happened to me was i hated my body so much and felt so estraged from it that i treated it like ****.  and eating more was a way of punishment and defeat.  if i would have just understand that a 10 lb gain wasn't so bad compared to others, i could have save myself.  so, anyone got a time machine?

After I had split with my last boyfriend I was going through a really tough time and gained quite some weight. For me my mood definitely has impacts on my weight. At the moment I am doing fine. I am exercising a lot, eating well and reading also lots of stuff on weight loss online (by the way this my favourite diet blog)

This phase of demotivation will pass klee11 - stay strong!

Yes, low self-esteem can affect what you eat.  And it can become a vicious circle if you let it..... feel bad about appearance, eat badly, appearance gets worse, repeat.   If you recognise it's happening, make a conscious effort to break the cycle and elevate your mood.  Some practical ideas

• Eat better foods.  Simply by getting better nutrition and sufficient calories you can improve your mood.  The sugary/starchy/fatty/alcoholic junk most people turn to when they feel down acts as a depressant.  A slight change in food choices can make a big difference.
• Eat regularly.... a steady stream of energy is better for your mood than skipping meals or going too long between eating.
• Get some gentle exercise.... As well as burning a few calories, walking outside can help improve mood and clear the mind.  In Latin... solvitur ambulando... "It is solved by walking" 
• Find ways to deliberately relax and laugh... if you have a favourite funny movie, invite a friend over to watch it with you.

  Good luck

I think it's okay to wallow...sometimes. This may or may not be the case for you. But sometimes when I feel really crappy, I just let go, let myself feel down for a few hours and then do something as a pick-me-up. Ie: lounge around for a few hours, write down what is bumming me out, be bummed out...Then do my nails and/or call a friend.

Something else that cheers me up is writing a plan. This may be a hugely nerdy thing to do, haha. Just start planning out how you can change the things you don't like, realistically, and write out goals, rewards, etc. When what you want seems feasible you will really want to get started. Think about it- if you start right now, you could be down 5 lbs by this time next month- maybe more.

What starrkate said about planning is exactly what I do.  I always have plans for everything.  But if you're going to plan, don't get too caught up in it...be flexible.  Things happen and you just have to go with the flow.  A really good way to get out of a funk is just to have someone there to talk to and sort of rely on: a buddy system.  It's easier to have someone else's help to pull you out of a funk (or keep you from getting into one) than trying to pull yourself out by yourself (hence this website :) ).  See if someone would be willing to work out with you so the both of you can make progress together.  Don't be too hard on yourself!  I'm sure you're doing great.

we are all here for one reason, and thats because we have weight issues! serious? yes it is and to each one of us it maybe more serious than to others. I only offer a 'chin-up' because tomorrow is a new day, a new start, a new beginning!

if there are deeper issues than one can only go for help / advice from professionals.

I am no professional, but I am indeed a trooper for I am in the same boat as the rest of you, with the exception I keep on keeping on. chin up!

so I offer my spirit of 'up-lift' and cheer to who ever needs some uplifting words.

*big hugs* to you my dear!

i know how you feel. I fell so gross. I hate being hungry! I'm fine as long as i dont feel at all hungry

I agree that some times you just need to have a pitty party!!!! but then you need to get over it and start over. I have pitty partys alot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I not only have them because of my weight but also because of my chronic pain. dont be to hard on yourself. go out for a walk and really look at other people, you will find that you look pretty good.

Feel blessed God Loves you!!!!!!

Low self esteem affects eating. Eating affects self esteem. Vicious circle.

I've been using a cocoa butter cream to try and get rid of my stretch marks, but if it doesn't work... so what? I'll walk on the beach in my swimsuit knowing that I EARNED the lean body that I'm showing off, everyone else be damned.

And as for your thighs... I've never seen them, but I can pretty much say for certain that they're not "disfigured". You would like to see them look differently than they do, which is very understandable, but to think of yourself as disfigured takes the power and control away from YOU. And I think you need to be in control right now.

Low self esteem affects eating. Eating affects self esteem. Vicious circle.

^^very true!  I feel bad, I eat.  Then I feel bad, again.

I haven't worn a swimsuit since the summer of 2006.  How sad is that.  Thing is, even when I was skinny I was uncomfortable about being that exposed.  And even the slimmest girls I know have stretch marks, simply from just body changes during puberty.  I use Palmer's Skin Therapy Oil (containing cocoa butter and vitamin E) twice daily and it has lightened up the redness a lot.  Not only does it help with stretch marks but it makes your skin super smooth :)

Instead of imagining how you will look in a bathsuit today, think of how you'll look tomorrow.  Then the next day.  And so on.  A year from now, how do you see yourself looking in that bathing suit?  Comfortable and confident or the same way you look today?  Use that as motivation to stick to eating healthy and exercise.  Don't beat yourself up over the way you look now, strive to look better in the future.